by K. Z. Riman
No matter how much I had tried to prepare him for this moment, I was still unsure if it was enough for a boy who always asked about his father.
“I want you to meet our son,” I whispered almost too inaudibly for anyone to hear. I sat down and traced his name, engraved in stone for the rest of eternity, and let the tears I had held back for so very long, fall down my cheeks. Sean sat beside me and stared.
“He looks exactly like you.” I sobbed as I covered my mouth with my hand and pulled Sean’s head to rest near my heart with the other. I kissed his head a few times, wishing for a moment that Seth would know he had, with me, a little boy.
“Mommy?” Sean looked up at me. “Was Daddy good?”
I nodded, crying even more. “He was a great man.” I would die fighting for that belief. For even as he left me, he was a great man, who always saved my life.
“Wow!” Sean seemed to have forgotten the pain he saw in me as soon as the ‘almost-his’ limo eased its way through the large gates of the Grimaldi mansion. “Mom, look!”
I was looking everywhere even before he asked me to. Nothing seemed to have changed since Seth brought me here to meet his parents for his father’s birthday. The feeling I had, as the car stopped in front of the double doors, was also the same. I was shaking.
If my memory served me well, and nothing had changed with Seth’s parents, my son and I would be welcomed warmly. They always were fond of me, as there never was a daughter in the house. Seth’s twin brother never brought home a decent woman he’d stay with for more than a month. I was wishing deep in my heart, as the car came to a halt in front of the double doors, that they greeted us with smiles.
“My dear!” Mrs. Grimaldi rushed towards Sean with open arms and cried, as she held him for the very first time.
She squeezed him and then held him at arm’s length, looking at his face. “You look so much like your father.”
I knew she was going to say that. Sean had the same amethyst eyes, the same golden brown hair, the same nose and the same pink lips. He was Seth, reincarnated to be with me.
Mister Grimaldi nodded and held his hand out to me. “It’s been a very long time. We thought we had lost you and our grandson.”
Well, in all honesty, I thought I’d lost them, too.
“Oh, Kelsey.” Mrs. Grimaldi gave me a tight hug after wiping her tears, the force of her arms giving me relief. “I’m so happy you are here.”
I had to admit I didn’t expect to hear that. I took their grandson away from them, after all. Why should they welcome me?
She turned to look at the bags unloaded from the limo, narrowing her eyes in confusion. “Is that all you have?”
“Yes, Mrs. Grimaldi. We will only be staying for the summer.”
She exchanged a disappointed look with her husband and forced a smile towards me. I was beginning to feel they were going to do a lot of things to change my mind so I stayed for a long time.
“Well, come along now. I’m sure you both are hungry.” She held Sean’s hand excitedly and led us both to the dining room. “What sort of food do you eat, Sean? You will find everything that you want in this house.”
I knew it! They were going to try and keep my son.
Sean beamed. “I like a lot of things, Grandma!”
“Good.”
Mrs. Grimaldi urged that he sat beside her at the dining table, while I sat opposite them, adjacent to Mister Grimaldi’s seat. “Kelsey, how have you been? You seemed to have grown…”
She stopped and I stared at her. I looked like I had aged five years older than I really was. I couldn’t help it. I needed two jobs to pay for all our needs. Since I was never married to Seth, I had nothing to receive from him. I never took a cent from his parents, except the payment they made for my hospital bill when I gave birth. They settled it while I was in bed because they knew I would not agree to it. Grace called it pride. I called it trying to keep Sean to myself. I didn’t want them taking him away from me because I didn’t have enough money for the both of us.
She softened her eyes. “You look exhausted, dear.”
I gave her a weak smile. “I had to…work.”
“Yes, we understand.” Mrs. Grimaldi nodded, touching Sean’s head. “You were able to raise one fine son.”
I smiled, hoping she meant what she said. “Thank you.” I needed that. I needed to remind myself that even as I came here, I was not a weak person.
“It means so much to us that you came,” she said softly.
Her gaze cut through me and I could feel how genuinely contented she was at our coming. They had been calling the past year, almost every month since they found my number, just to get me to come.
“Sean…has been asking about his grandparents,” I replied. I couldn’t even look at them. “I didn’t have the heart to deny him that right.”
“Oh, bless you, Sean.” Mrs. Grimaldi wrapped her arms around Sean’s head. I recognized the joy in her eyes. It seemed to me like it was Seth who came home to her.
“It doesn’t matter to me how you ended up here, as long as you are here now and you both are safe. You will have nothing to worry about anymore,” Mister Grimaldi said, before taking a sip of his wine. He watched his wife take delight in their grandson, taking delight in her bliss in turn.
“How is Dean Povenmier?” he continued.
Dean Povenmier, the man who got me in at Draco University, was a very good friend of his. Even before Seth rescued me from my misery, I had seen them attend parties at the Povenmier mansion, where I usually helped cook or serve the guests.
“He is all right. I have barely seen him since I moved to Brizhania.” I didn’t know how to face him. He fought for me to get into the university, but I ended up getting pregnant and dropping out of school, not graduating because I had to work.
“He’s old, Kelsey. He often asks for you,” Mister Grimaldi said with concern.
He was right. The last time I visited the dean was four years ago, when his son, Carter, called me and said his father could no longer leave his bed because he had cancer. It turned out, they were just trying to get me to come. Dean Povenmier gave me money then, that lasted Sean and I months. Perhaps that was the reason I didn’t want to visit him often. I didn’t want him giving me money each time I was there.
“I visit him. Sometimes,” I lied.
“Why didn’t you visit us? Even once?” Mrs. Grimaldi sounded angry as she placed food on Sean’s plate.
“Mommy said she couldn’t because she misses Daddy,” Sean said softly, sadness in his voice, as if he understood what was going on.
Mrs. Grimaldi smiled as she brushed his head with her hand. “We miss your daddy, too, sweetie. We are all going to stay together so your daddy will be happy and at peace.”
“Please…” I really didn’t want to lose my son.
She ignored me. “Are you going to school this year, Sean?”
“Yes, Grandma. Mommy said I will be in kindergarten in Brizhania.”
“Which school, Kelsey?” Mrs. Grimaldi looked at me, a stern expression telling me she would not agree to what I was about to say.
“The Community…”
“Out of the question.” She dismissed the idea and went back to watching Sean eat. “He is my son’s son and he deserves the best.”
“He is my son, too.” I wanted to have the final say on this. I couldn’t have them dictating everything about my son’s life.
I never really had that much time with my mother and since her death, I had often imagined how life would be if she was with me. Would it be like this? Would she be guiding me this way? It would be a nice break from all the responsibility, I guess. A mother needed a break, too, right?
“Don’t you want to give him the luxury of having everything he wants or needs with the trust funds we ha
ve already placed in his name?”
I averted my gaze. The reason I took Sean away on the day they were supposed to pick me up from the hospital was that I was afraid they would only want him and not me. Why in the world would a billionaire family take in a disgraced undergraduate, who had not enough money to her name?
“I won’t leave my son.” The words were out of my mouth before I could catch them. That was honesty, right there. I was scared they wouldn’t want me.
Mrs. Grimaldi smiled. “Who said anything about you leaving, if Sean stays?”
“Seriously, Kelsey. I thought you knew we would not let our son’s almost-wife get away from our grasp, too,” Mister Grimaldi said, giving me a warm smile.
Almost-wife? What did he mean? Had Seth planned on proposing that night?
“I was going to wait until tomorrow to give you this, but…” Mrs. Grimaldi took from her purse a small blue box and slid it across the table. “…It might help you decide on staying.”
I felt my heart stop for a second, trying to recognize the scenario in front of me. Slowly taking the box, I held my breath, and opened it. Inside was a simple diamond ring and a small rolled note that said, ‘Marry Me’.
“He was going to ask you to marry him that night.” She was teary-eyed when she smiled, looking at me as memories of how Seth always made me happy flooded my vision.
I was right. He was going to ask me to marry him.
“You should wear it.” Mister Grimaldi took the box from me and watched as I held in my hand a white gold ring with a sparkly diamond top. “It is yours, after all.”
The ring fitted me perfectly and slid on my finger easily. I could almost feel Seth around me. Then I felt it—the pain of losing him, missing him. A thousand pictures of him flashed before my eyes—smiling, frowning, getting angry at me. I could almost hear his voice, too, as he laughed.
“I’m sorry. Would you please excuse me?” I stood and rushed towards the nearest comfort room, where I held my mouth shut to muffle the sound of my sobs. He was going to ask me to marry him. I couldn’t get the thought out of my mind as visions of what used to be filled my head. If he hadn’t died that night…if he had stayed with me and married me…oh, what a happy life he would have given me, for sure!
Why did it have to be him when there were more than a million people on Earth, misbehaving, avoiding love, or committing suicide? Why did it have to be him when he was supposed to be on his way to a new life with me?
If this was punishment, was it his? Was it mine? It could be. For losing him and having only memories of him was too much for me to bear.
I didn’t even get to see him before he died.
I stayed there for what seemed to be an eternity, asking myself why I ever came here. I was happy—almost happy—staying in our apartment and pretending that there was no man as perfect as Seth for me. I was almost happy, pretending that Sean came only because he was a blessing from God to ease my longing for a family.
Then Sean had to beg me to see his grandparents and I didn’t have the courage to break his heart even more. I couldn’t give him his father. Wouldn’t it be right that I gave him his grandparents? I knew how it felt to not have many loving people around and I didn’t want that for my son.
“Mommy?” I heard Sean knock lightly on the door. “Are you okay?”
Wiping my tears and sniffing, I answered, “Yes, honey. Mommy is almost done.”
I didn’t finish dinner. They were all done when I went out and I didn’t want to eat alone. Sean was given a big room of his own, with toys and gadgets that were too advanced for a boy his age. He was very happy about it, running around and touching everything. What he loved most about the room was that it had dozens of books on one of its walls. “Wow! Books!” He beamed.
“Tomorrow, Grandpa and I will get you a pet. What would you like to have?” Mrs. Grimaldi stooped to face her grandson, her eyes glistening.
“A pet?” Sean’s eyes grew even wider. He had always wanted to have one, but as I was always out and he was too young to take care of it on his own, I always refused. “A dog! I want a dog, Grandma.”
“A dog it is. Now, have your shower and go to bed. Early to bed, early to see the sunrise.”
“I’m going to get a dog!” Sean screamed, as he ran to the bathroom.
“Careful now, honey. I will be right with you in a minute,” I reminded him before turning to Mrs. Grimaldi. I could talk to her seriously now. I wanted to know what she really thought about my son and me coming to stay. I wanted to know what the room filled with everything Sean would love was for. I wanted to know what she was planning and if I spoke carefully, so as to not offend her, I knew she would tell me the truth.
“Mrs. Grimaldi, I don’t think it is appropriate for you to be spoiling my son…”
She touched my cheeks and drew me closer for a light hug. “I’m sorry.” She started sobbing. “I know this is going to be hard for you to accept, but you will have to forgive me. I just miss my sons so much.”
“Sons? Where’s Scott?”
“Oh!” She wiped a tear as she let out a sharp breath of annoyance. “You don’t even want to know. Although he has just returned from his studies abroad, he wants to leave again.”
Actually, I think I remembered exactly how he was. “He hasn’t changed, has he?”
“Well, I think the better question here is if he will ever change. I swear I would give every cent I have, just to see that man with a life!” Mrs. Grimaldi shook her head as she sat on Sean’s bed, touching his toys and smiling weakly. “Please. Do not take away Sean. I feel so close to my sons whenever I see him.”
How could I react to words like that? I knew what she was feeling. I was probably feeling more of it. I missed Seth so much that I wouldn’t want to lose Sean. Sean was the only strong legacy he left to me. “Mrs. Grimaldi…”
“Call me ‘Mother’.”
What?
I really didn’t think she would be this warm to me. She smiled sweetly and crossed the distance between us, holding both my forearms to look at me carefully. “I never had a daughter. I know that you…you didn’t have much time with your mother, so perhaps, I could have you and you could have me.”
“But Mrs. Gri…”
“If Seth were alive, you would call me Mother, wouldn’t you? It is all the same. I believe that his death is all the more reason for me to take you in and have you as my daughter, since he left you and your son.”
I nodded. She was right, anyway. If Seth were alive, Mrs. Grimaldi would be my mother-in-law and I would be her daughter-in-law. It would be the same. Besides, I had always wanted to have a mother, too. “Okay…Mother.”
“Oh! Please stay with us, dear,” she whispered, as her arms found me again for a hug. “Please do not take Seth’s heart away from us again.”
* * * *
“Have you prayed?” I tucked Sean in bed, half an hour later.
“Yes, Mommy.”
“What did you pray for?”
“That we could stay,” he murmured, as he closed his eyes.
He looked tired from the travel, but even as I tried to deny it, he looked happier. It was like he had unconsciously found a home on his own, without having to ask me, without having to wait for a day to pass. He had found himself, right where his father’s home was.
“You want to stay?” I murmured, hoping he could still answer me.
“Mmm-hmm.”
What sort of a mother would I be, if I denied my son the chance to live like a prince, to have everything he wanted handed to him on silver plates? Yet, what a mother would I also be, if I sold him to such luxury?
It would have been different if Seth had lived. I had imagined the memories I would be making with the two important men in my life if he was with me. In this house, memories would have bee
n sweet. Memories would have been lasting. So what if I stayed here with my son and let him create memories of his own? For a moment, I thought I would finally concede.
By dawn, I was almost too hungry to sleep. I stared at my ceiling as I turned my bedside lamp on and shivered from the unusually cold wind rushing through an open window. I got up and walked towards it to stare at the moon that appeared to have not shone so brightly in my life before.
“I’m here, Seth. I’m home,” I whispered.
As the wind brushed past my cheeks, I thought for a moment he heard me. For a moment, I felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from my chest as fond memories filled my head again.
“Oh, don’t be so stubborn, love,” he had said to me in our sixth month of dating. “You already have the keys to my apartment. You can come and go as you please.”
“I don’t want to come and go.” I smiled shyly. “I want to stay,” I finished with a murmur, as I felt my cheeks flush.
“You’re moving in?” His voice showed the same enthusiasm as his purple eyes. He had been asking me for that for weeks.
I chuckled. “Yes. After I graduate.”
I didn’t want to be a burden to the brothers. If I moved in, Seth would insist that I didn’t pay for anything. Besides, I didn’t want to stay with him and his brother. I wanted to stay with just him.
“That is years away!” he complained as he pulled me back to bed, tickling me so he could have his way with me again.
“Wait!” I giggled, playfully shoving his hands away from my sides. “Wait! I need to…”
“Do you know how much you have affected me right now?” he cut in, rolling on top of me as I stayed, giggling beneath him.
“Hmmm. No,” I teased.
“Well, let me show you,” he whispered, before planting the softest and sweetest of kisses onto my mouth.
I could almost hear him again—his voice, his laughter that was long since gone. All the memories I had suppressed found their way back to my head and to my heart. Perhaps that was one of the reasons I didn’t want to come here. I had been warding off memories of him. Being in this house defeated that very purpose and the strength that came with it.
