by K. Z. Riman
“Thank you, Kelsey.” Alicia was leaning on the sink counter, her hands supporting her, while I wiped her face with a wet paper towel.
“Yeah, well. Let’s keep you off the margaritas,” I said, and we both laughed.
“You…you’re drunk.” She giggled again, tapping my hand. “Don’t let…my brother go home with…with some blonde. He likes you.”
“So I heard,” I said. I hoped she wouldn’t ask me to date him. Alicia was a very nice woman. It would take a miracle for anyone to refuse any request she made.
“Oh, good.” She sounded very enthusiastic about it. How was I supposed to tell her I wasn’t interested in the slightest bit? “Oh, I want to go…”
“Yes,” I said, trying to keep my thoughts straight. “Let’s go home.”
That was supposed to be our plan. The night was going crazy. She was getting crazier by the minute. I had a hard time trying to steady her as we went out of the bathroom. Almost every guy we passed, winked at us. They were probably thinking we needed to get laid. We had to go home.
As soon as she returned to her brother, Alicia begged him for a last dance, pouting and putting on a puppy-dog face Keiffer could not resist. She headed to the dance floor with him, leaving Scott with me.
“Why don’t you dance with them?” he asked, eyes on the floor as he drank his martini.
I didn’t answer. I had no intention of speaking to him until he apologized. He was being rude on purpose, and I meant, extremely rude.
“Oh. The silent treatment,” he snorted, nodding. Maybe if I remained quiet, he would get the idea. He didn’t. Scott loved deliberately misunderstanding things. He laughed before pulling me to my feet.
“Hey!” I wasn’t sober enough for this. I felt myself getting dizzier as he managed to cut through the pulsating crowd and music. “Scott!”
With a swift tug, I fell into his arms, my forehead on his shoulder. “Asshole,” I called him again. I never said the word more than once in a day and I just wanted to say it to his face over and over and over…
“Stop saying that,” he said, with gritted teeth. He pulled my ponytail with restrained might so that I was forced to look at him. “Stop calling me…”
“Well, stop being one!”
“Stop fighting me then.” The more he said it, the more I wanted to do it. I pushed him away but he pulled me back into his arms, forcing my hands around his neck while he snaked his around my waist.
Yet no matter the anger, no matter the harshness and the rudeness, or him being an asshole and a jerk, I wasn’t the least uncomfortable. Was I that used to him? Wasn’t I supposed to be scared that he was doing this to hurt me on purpose?
I shouldn’t be drawn to him like this! If this was his way of making me love him, I knew I should never concede. I deserved better than this. I deserved someone like Seth again! Seth.
“I will, if you stop annoying me!”
“Who’s annoying who here?” he asked.
I really didn’t know where his anger was coming from. He forced me to turn around, his chest on my back and his mouth on my ears. “You do not even realize how much you annoy me with everything that you do, Kelsey. I ache so much to show you what I would love to do to you whenever you get under my skin.”
“Funny.” I gasped as he crossed my hands over my chest, while he held them tight. “I thought you’re the one getting deep into my skin.”
“Very funny.” He grinned. “Would you like it to happen again?”
“You will never get that chance.”
“Show me,” he whispered softly, now pleading. He sounded like he was in pain and his words shot through me, making me feel weak. He was startling me with his moods.
While he placed his lips on my shoulder, he squeezed my waist, digging his fingers into me. I gasped again, feeling his parted lips travel the length of my neck—from my shoulder to my nape.
“Show me you can stay away.” He turned me again, hurting me a little. “Because I never can stay away from you.”
He cupped my head and leaned his forehead on mine, but I pushed him away. “You are toying with me!” I yelled, in my frustration.
Everyone turned to look. I pushed Scott away and rushed for the door.
What game was he playing now?
“Kelsey!”
As soon as I got out of the club, I ran and hailed a taxi. I opened the door to get in, but Scott pushed it shut. “This is my wife. She has a ride home,” he told the driver, much to my surprise.
“What do you want from me?”
“We’re going home.”
I heard a loud ringing in my ears and everything around started to spin. I stopped for a moment and he held me, one hand on my waist and another across my shoulder. “Stop…toying with me,” I whispered.
I was off my feet, letting him lift me to his chest. “You’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re saying.”
I couldn’t be that drunk; I felt every pain he caused me tonight!
“I can walk!” I kicked out with both my feet and he almost dropped me. We stumbled onto the ground, the restraint hurting me more than the fall.
“Damn it, Kelsey,” he shouted, as he hurt his knee, and I, my elbows.
“Ah!” I cried in pain, as I crawled away from him. “This is stupid,” I muttered under my breath.
“You’re acting like a kid!” He stood and tried to pull me to him again, forcing me over his shoulder as he swiftly scooped me up.
“Put me down! I am not a kid!” I was getting dizzier this way.
I was upside down and could feel the margarita revolting against my stomach. I felt like I was going to throw up.
I threw up as soon as he put me down. I didn’t know how this night could be any more of a disaster. Each time I was with him, I ended up doing things I ought not to. I came here to take care of Sean in the best way possible. Why did it suddenly feel like I was going back to where I started? To becoming a teenager…and a rebellious one.
“Are you done?” He rubbed my back as I sat on the edge of the curb and rested my forehead in my hands.
“Leave me alone, Scott,” I whispered. I just needed him to go away. If he didn’t bother me again, maybe I could be a more decent woman.
He sat down in front of me. “Why do you always say that?”
“Because you won’t leave me alone, and I hate you!”
“Stop saying that!” He gripped my wrist in frustration. “Stop saying you hate me! Why do you always say that?”
“Because it’s true!” I did hate him—for leaving me this morning in the mansion, for refusing to drive me to Brockswind, and for toying me!
His phone rang and the sound broke the silence of the parking lot. I heard Keiffer’s voice above the thumping music from the club when Scott answered his phone.
“Yes… She’s with me. No… We’re going home and you should take Alicia home, too. She’s drunk. Yes…see you.” He placed his phone back into his pocket as he ended the call and pulled me up.
“No. Just leave me here.” I pulled back and sat back down.
“Stop fighting me, Kelsey!” He spoke in restrained voice. It was like there were things on his mind, and there were things he wanted to say, but he just could not say them.
I was really tired. He carried me to his car and I fell asleep on our way home. There was nothing to say to him, anyway. One crazy night after another, I despised it so. I was supposed to be here for one purpose and one purpose only—to make sure my son kept moving ahead. It shouldn’t mean I’d be left behind.
When we reached the mansion, Luke gave me a cup of coffee to sober me up. Scott ran me a hot bath and, stripping me of my clothes, placed me in the tub in my underwear.
I gasped at the sudden rush of warm water all over my skin, my fingers pulling h
is shirt. I felt as if I was drowning.
“I’ll stay with you if you want.” He misunderstood me.
No. Perhaps I misunderstood myself, for I wanted him to join me. “No, thank you.” He didn’t move, sitting on his feet with his arms on the edge of the tub. “Why do you hate me, Scott?”
“I don’t hate you. You hate me.”
“Why are you so mean to me?” I pleaded. I thought I would cry. “Why do you always try to hurt me?”
“I don’t…”
“You do! You love seeing me hurt.”
“You force me to!”
I chuckled in disbelief. He’s going to pin this on me now? “I force you? No one is forcing anyone to do anything here, and you know it. I’m not just talking about that trip to see my son.”
He stood up and sighed, undoing the first few buttons of his shirt. “Is this trip that much of a deal to you?”
“Yes! I miss my son, and your parents miss you,” I said.
“Oh, geez.” He turned and threw a towel forcefully against the wall. “I knew you had another motive!”
“I don’t have any other motive!”
“Mother got you to do this, didn’t she? She asked you to…”
“She never asked me to do anything! I just want you to drive me there!” I was tapping the water with my hands, so frustrated at how he always thought everything we did in this mansion was a way to get him to stay.
I continued. “You are so downright eager to leave that you are missing a lot of things while you’re here. You can’t even tell how your parents want to spend time with you and that perhaps this one year is their way of learning to let you go.” He might listen to me if I kept things straight with him.
“I’m not staying here, Kelsey. I know…”
“Then don’t! Don’t stay! Geez! Will you let that go, already?” I was still hoping he would stay, for me.
“You sound like you’re pushing me away.” He looked at me with wide eyes. Why did he sound so hurt? “Do you really hate me that much?”
He walked to the tub and kept his gaze on me, not saying anything. The intensity made my cheeks hot so I looked away, unable to say anything, either.
He leaned both hands on the tub’s edge and peered into my face. “Do you?”
“No,” I whispered.
“Then why do you say it so often?” His voice was calm and soft.
“Why do you hurt me so often?”
He was silent for a moment, but his eyes never left mine as I curled my body and hugged my knees. “Because…I want you to stay away from me.”
“Why is that?” It seemed rather odd to be asking that, while he kept making love with me!
“I told you. Because I can’t stay away from you.” He pushed a lock of hair away from my face.
“Then don’t,” I whispered. The words were quickly out of my mouth and there was no way of catching them, especially as they came from my heart.
I heard him gasp. He paced the bathroom, not talking, looking at the floor as he thought. When he turned to me again, I looked at him, but only for a moment. I couldn’t bear to see his face, tainted with guilt and pity. It made me feel so low and so…unloved.
“I’m sorry,” he said. After years and years of waiting, I finally heard him apologize. “I…uh…you’re right. I’m an asshole. I think that is all I will ever be.”
I forced my eyes shut. There was pain in the truth. He would always be an asshole and I would always want him. “Right.” I bet he didn’t even hear me say it.
“Tell me one thing.” He walked to the tub again.”Did you mean it? When you said you wouldn’t let me touch you again?”
“Does it matter?” I asked. He couldn’t stay away, anyway. He had said it, himself. He would try and claim me again, no matter the cost.
“Yes. If you meant it…then…then I would oblige and stay away.”
Oh, no. Did I really mean it? Did I really want him to stay away from me? I was suddenly besieged with a feeling so painful, it was overwhelming. I felt like I was losing a part of myself.
“No.”
I must be insane. I was giving him the power to do as he pleased with me.
“What did you say?” He sounded like he wasn’t expecting my answer.
“I want you to…touch me…as you please.”
Chapter Fifteen
Kelsey’s Ruin
He sat on the edge of the bath, slowly, hesitantly. “Do you realize what you just said?”
Yes. I did realize it was my ruin. It was what I wanted, nonetheless. “Yes.”
I knelt in the tub in front of him. We were nose to nose, the sound of the moving water doing nothing to calm my heart. He cupped one cheek and drew me in for a kiss that tasted a lot like his martini.
He smelled of sweat and his cologne, smoke from his cigarette and that of his very self—the Scott who had been and would always be, unchanged and worshipped by many.
His kisses grew feverish. I felt my insides rejoicing. His tongue invaded my mouth, playing with mine. I felt each movement between my legs. It was tickling me. It was affecting me too much.
When he pulled away, I reached for his shirt, slowly unbuttoning it all the way down. His gaze never left my eyes as he removed his shirt, flexing his body to reveal the man that many women ached to touch. He unbuckled his belt and was all ready for me when he removed the last of his garments.
I remained still, kneeling, my hands on the edge, waiting for him. “Touch it,” he said. I smiled shyly at him as he grinned and chuckled. “It won’t bite.”
“I might,” I teased, and he chuckled all the more.
“You always do.” When I closed my fingers on him, he let out a ragged breath between his gritted teeth, throwing his head back as his hands found my shoulders. “Oh, Kelsey…the things you do to me!”
I couldn’t have imagined myself doing this to him. I was giving him pleasure. I was being pleasured by it, too. I stroked the length of him. He fit my hands perfectly. I couldn’t remember Seth being this hard, this big.
He gripped my hand, tightening my hold on him as he guided me, slowly at first and then rapidly. With how he looked, moments from reaching his climax, I wanted to taste him, the way he already tasted me.
He groaned as the tip of my tongue touched his flesh. One of his hands moved to my head, gripping my hair tight, and I moaned. I wondered, as I put him in my mouth, whether I had wanted to do this since the moment we began fighting again. If not, I wondered when my desires began. Did it begin in college, because of our taunting and teasing, even without me knowing?
“Oh, what are you doing to me, Kelsey?” he rasped. It sounded like he was going to explode any second.
When he could no longer wait, he gently pushed me aside so he could climb in the bath, sitting in front of me as he pulled me to kneel closer, his manhood between my thighs. He bit my nipple gently and I cupped his head, bringing him closer. His hands were unhooking my bra and it snapped out of place so he could pull it away from my body. I was almost naked, my chest bare for his mouth. His tongue found my breasts, playing with each of them in turn.
I grew hotter, distinctly feeling my warm wetness flowing smoothly between my legs. Slowly, he pulled my panties down and helped me out of them.
“Sit on me,” he said.
Slowly, I eased him inside me. Oh, you feel…so good. “Oh, Scott.”
He was deep inside of me now, my weight pushing me against him. His hands were on my hips, pushing me up only to press me down again. “You feel so good.”
I was catching my breath even before he made his move. He chuckled, watching me fall to pieces. “Kelsey, I never…” He pushed himself in and I cried out in pleasure again. “…want to see you dance with Keiffer again.” He paused. “Say, ‘I won’t’.”
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“I won’t.” I muttered under my breath. He was toying with me. He was pushing his claim on me…to do as he pleased, to say what he pleased, to deal with me each time I unknowingly did something he didn’t like. What’s worse, I loved every moment of it.
He was pushing himself deeper inside of me.
Oh, shit! This feels…so…so… “Greaaat…” I was almost coming.
I wanted to come. I wanted to come so bad. “Oh, no. Not yet,” he said.
He pushed me up and helped me out of the tub, carrying me to sit on the counter. He stood in front of me, ravishing my mouth with kisses that seemed a lot sweeter than the ones this morning.
“I want it here,” he panted, parting my legs with his hands.
He was tall and was accurately aligned to me. The idea thrilled each bone in my body. I never thought lovemaking could be like this, sumptuous and deliciously lustful. When he pushed himself in, I threw my head back, my hands around his neck to stop me from falling.
This is so good. He pushed my hips closer to the edge so he could more easily reach me. I wrapped both my legs around him. We moved with the same passionate motion, in the same rhythm. For once, since I met him, I felt like we understood each other and nothing else mattered…but us.
“I’m going to come,” I rasped.
“Wait.” He looked pained. I knew he was near to release, but was trying to hold on a bit longer, if he could. “I want…more of you.”
I couldn’t hold it anymore. I pressed him to me and bit his shoulder. He gasped at the pain but made no move to pull back. With my toes curled and my feet stiff, I cried out that same singsong version of his name so loud I didn’t even hear him come with me.
I shivered, the might of my release forcing the strength out of me, and collapsed in his arms. He carried me, not breaking our connection, until he gently dropped me on the bed. He followed, bending towards me, his feet on the floor and his hands by my sides.
I pulled him, both my hands on his cheeks, for a kiss. He chuckled, collapsing on top of me. “Another round?” he teased, as he bit my lip.