by K. Z. Riman
“I know you.”
He wanted to protect her from me, which was silly. I watched as he raced to her, getting to her before I could talk to her the following day. I watched as he asked her to the dance, and she agreed. She fucking agreed! Why wouldn’t she? She saw him as her savior, as her knight in shining armor. Then it hit me. She might not have agreed to go to the dance with me, even if I had the chance to ask.
Deep down his desire to protect her was because he craved her, too.
“Leave me alone, Scott!” She shoved my hands away as I tried to take her books from her, another rainy afternoon. She was waiting for Seth to finish his classes and I was waiting with her. She was coming to our flat for the first time. Mother and Father had allowed us to live separate from them, a few months before graduation.
Oh, how she hated me. I saw in her eyes her spirit, her desire to push me further and further away. I was a threat to her and she didn’t understand why.
What she failed to realize was that I was more of a threat to Seth. I was the passionate one. I might be more of the playboy, but I was the more seductive twin, able to sweep women off their feet.
I was a predator. I was her predator.
“You are going to break that pretty little back of yours if you carry your books that way.” I tried touching her shoulders but she shoved my hands away. It irritated me. It ignited the flames of desire inside me. How could one little virgin get under my skin as deeply as she had?
Of course, she lost her virginity that night. I heard her moan and cry out in pain. I turned my sound system up so loud, Seth might have thought I was doing it for him. I was doing it for myself. I didn’t want to imagine her—her skin that would melt under my lips, her eyes that could flutter in pleasure as soon as I eased my way in.
Fuck it! I had respected my brother so much; I hated it! At the hotel bar, I shook the memories out of my head, heaved a long sigh and drank my beer.
“I will never fucking leave you alone,” I whispered to myself.
I had lunch at a café before returning to my room. She wasn’t there. For half an hour, I lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling and imagining what might have happened if the boy hadn’t knocked on my door this morning. That boy saved me from ruin. I would have become a man I despised, if I had let myself get carried away. Kelsey was so damn beautiful no words could ever describe how much I longed for her. I would have taken her and she would have hated me, for real.
“Scott! Are you in there, son?” Mother was knocking relentlessly at my door. “We’re going to the amusement park in fifteen minutes, so you better get out here.”
Did I want to go? Was I in the mood to see her? I turned and saw the things I bought her. She hadn’t taken them when she left my room. They were on the floor, exactly where I had thrown them.
“Uncle Scott!” There was that boy again! Why wouldn’t he leave me alone?
“Sean!” I heard Kelsey and her voice shot me off my bed. “I told you not to go to…”
She stopped as soon as I opened my door. She looked at me for a moment before kneeling in front of her son to straighten his collar. “There. You’re so handsome now.” She stood and pulled her son away, heading for the elevator.
“Come on, Uncle Scott!” The boy was raising his other hand towards me, freezing me to the spot.
Chapter Eighteen
Scott and the Million-Image Woman
Kelsey stopped and looked to see what I would do. I nodded and closed the door, holding his hand. For a second, Kelsey and I stared at each other, a boy between us. The world around us seemed to have stopped.
She turned away and started walking again. When we reached the cars, the boy insisted on riding with me, so Kelsey had to ride in my car, too.
She was fidgety, constantly looking at her son, who sat in the backseat, and then out the window again.
“Are we going to ride the roller coaster, Uncle Scott?” The boy stood and held the backs of our seats, peering into my face with a pair of eyes I really didn’t want to look at.
“Sean, honey, please take your seat. That’s not safe,” Kelsey said. “No roller coaster. It’s too dangerous.”
“What about the big Ferris wheel?”
“No.”
“Mommy!” Sean stomped his foot and folded his arms across his chest, sulking, as he sat back down.
“Yes. I will ride the Ferris wheel with you,” I said.
Shit! This is turning into what I feared.
“You hear that, Mommy?”
Kelsey glared at me. She didn’t like the idea, but she didn’t protest much. It was either she didn’t want her son’s feelings hurt, or she was happy I was finally taking interest in my nephew. Shit.
“Yes. I heard.” She sounded unconvinced, tightening her jaw, before staring out the window again.
The boy dragged her away immediately after they got out of the car. Sean was so excited that he pulled Kelsey straight to the ticket booth. Father had to run after them to pay for everyone’s tickets.
“Which one should we ride first?” Father asked Sean, taking him from Kelsey, which was good luck for me.
I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to apologize or make excuses about what had happened. If I was lucky, I could blame her, but she wasn’t naïve and she wasn’t the type to not reason with me, if any of my bullshit came her way.
“Kelsey.” I followed her as she walked away. She looked at me once and then turned her back, not stopping. She had a scared look in her eyes. I really didn’t understand where that came from. “Kelsey! Shit!”
I lost her as she pushed into the crowd. I should have known this place would be crowded.
“Mommy!” I heard the boy’s voice, and I followed it. I found her, kneeling in front of him, discouraging him from riding the Ferris wheel. “Uncle Scott promised!”
Sean looked up at me with a smile. “Let’s go.”
His hand immediately found mine.
“Scott, no!” She pulled her son right back. What was she so afraid of?
“No!” Sean shoved her hands away and she gasped, hurt. “I want to ride the Ferris wheel with Uncle Scott!” The boy was throwing a tantrum, and I knew she feared he would grow up to be a spoiled brat. It was almost inevitable, especially with different people giving him what he wanted now.
“Just one ride, Kelsey,” I calmly said, hoping she would be reassured.
“Let them, dear.” Mother, at least, was supportive about this.
Kelsey pressed her lips together, and sighed. She placed her hands on her hips and, with a contemptuous look, watched me take Sean. I would never hear the end of this from her.
It took us a few minutes waiting in line before we were able to ride. I wasn’t happy about this, but I had to give in to Sean…for her! Just to prove she was wrong about me! I wasn’t as indifferent of her boy as she thought I was. I did care. She just could not expect me to jump into this and love the boy, simply because he was my brother’s son.
This time on the Ferris wheel could be my chance to check what the boy thought of my rendezvous with his mother.
“Sean.” I began. “I found my wallet.”
“You did, Uncle Scott?”
I chuckled. Kids. “Yes. I will be more careful so your mommy won’t have to look for it again and cry.”
“Mommy always cries.”
“What do you mean?” I narrowed my eyes.
“At night, she cries, and I hear her call daddy’s name.”
Shit. I didn’t expect it to be about Seth again, but I was curious. I wanted to know more. “Your daddy’s name?”
“Yes. I heard her say one time she wants to go to Daddy, but she can’t because of me.”
I was quietly groaning, clasping my hand into a fist as I imagined her crying at night…and this
morning in my room. I felt my chest tightening, the descending motion of the Ferris wheel making me feel sick. I shut my eyes, and visions of Kelsey, sobbing and curling herself into a ball in bed, filled my thoughts. I felt like I was being tortured.
“That was so much fun!” Sean held on to me as we got off the ride.
“I know,” I said, as my eyes scanned for Kelsey. She wasn’t around and neither were my parents.
I stood and searched the park for her face. Was her pain so great that she wished to die?
Where is she now?
“Did you have fun?” I heard Mother’s voice and turned to her. I was relieved to see Kelsey behind her. Kelsey was looking at me, a half smile on her lovely face. She looked bright and cheerful, the complete opposite of what I witnessed this morning.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
I smiled back at her. We watched as Mother and Father smothered Sean with kisses, and Kelsey began laughing again.
She remained giggly for the rest of the day and I watched as she laughed with her son. Every booth the boy begged me to go to, I found myself following, just because he was holding one of Kelsey’s hands and one of mine. She would look at me and smile and I would see a blush on her cheeks, the most beautiful color her face could create. She was beautiful.
“Oh, I want that, Uncle Scott!” The boy was tugging on my shirt as he pointed to a large stuffed bear at the shooting booth.
“Guns are dangerous, honey.” As always, she would protest, but she had to learn to sometimes let go. I nodded at the boy.
“Let’s go and win you a teddy,” I said.
She shot me a glance, which softened a little as I smiled. She smiled back, something I did not expect, and then whispered. “I want a teddy, too.”
How I ached to show her what her words could do to my chest. I felt it tightening and my lips were shooting up at the corners. I could barely breathe with her around me. I was feeling more and more in love with her, each moment she was with me.
Wait. Did I just say…? Love?
“Yey!” In a matter of minutes, I won her son a large stuffed bear. I won her one of her own, too, to the booth owner’s disgust—a pink bear which matched her lips and cheeks.
She is going to pay for that cuteness.
“See?” she whispered, as Sean ran ahead of us, making his way to his resting grandparents. “You can make him happy.”
“It’s just a toy, Kelsey.” I wanted to sound bored but even I was impressed at what I could do.
“Yes, and such is a treasure to a boy like my son.” She turned to me with her serious face again. What would she want with me now?
“Scott?” My name sounded so wonderful as she said it. “I want you to…”
“Mommy! Mommy!” The boy interrupted us again! How could he do this? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say fate had its arms and claws on this kid, controlling him just to ruin my life! “I want to ride that.”
As Kelsey rode the River Boat Ride with us, I realized I had to thank the boy for this. At least I got a few minutes of her time, and would perhaps be able to find out what she thought about this morning, when I almost took her against her will.
“I didn’t deserve that kiss. This morning, I mean,” I said. “You shouldn’t have…”
“Don’t pin this on me, Scott,” she replied. She sounded completely exhausted. After all, she was right. I had been trying to blame her for every single thing I acted on.
“No matter whose fault it is, or who started it in the first place, I don’t want you to end up hating me.”
“I don’t want to end up hating you, either,” she pleaded.
“I didn’t mean…I never meant…” How was I supposed to say I was sorry without being too apologetic? She could turn me into the King of Fools and get away with it.
I brought my face to my hands. I was doomed. I should have seen this coming the moment she walked inside that kitchen during her first day at the mansion.
“Why don’t you just say you’re sorry?” she asked, and I looked at her.
She was asking for more than what I was willing to give.
Sean was sitting in the front of the boat, looking at every twinkling light inside the tunnel. I grabbed my chance and kissed Kelsey’s neck. She held my hand and squeezed it, her eyes on her boy, who had the gift to ruin every precious moment for me.
“I want you,” I whispered.
She moaned quietly and looked at her boy before whispering back, “That is not an apology, Mister Grimaldi.”
“It is, to me,” I said.
She jumped away from me as her boy turned. There was not enough light for him to see me kiss his mother.
“Why won’t you kiss?” The boy suddenly asked. I was staggered. I looked around and realized he must have seen the two other rides, with teenagers losing themselves in passionate kisses.
“Oh, dear.” Kelsey realized she should not have agreed to bring her boy here. I chuckled. Sometimes, in her attempt to protect her boy, she was making mistakes she never intended.
“Maybe some other time, boy.” I chuckled, and it pleasured me to see how she tried to hide her blush with her hands on her face. Kelsey, you’re mine.
When we got off, Sean ran to his grandparents and Kelsey answered a phone call. I could have sworn I had missed a call while trying to find the right words to say to her. Who could have…?
A message. Good. At least they could leave me one and let me enjoy this day.
“Sir. We could not reach you, so we contacted your secretary.”
No fucking way! Shit! I turned but Kelsey was no longer where I last saw her. “Where’s Kelsey?” I swear that woman was driving me nuts!
“Oh.” Mother looked around but no one saw her.
“There’s Mommy!” Sean pointed to a nearby carousel.
I saw her watching blankly, as the ride turned in front of her. I ran to get to her and stopped at the other side of the ride, watching her quietly as she stared. When she saw me, she flinched, but she held my stare, horses passing between us. Her tears fell and she turned away.
“Kelsey!” Where was she going now?
I ran after her as she went inside the Hall of Mirrors. It was an odd choice of a place to hide, or perhaps a place to make me chase after her.
I saw her everywhere I looked; people laughed as they passed me, but she was crying.
“Kelsey!” There was no answer from her.
“Kelsey!” I found a million images of her in front of me, everywhere I turned. She was still crying. She was a vision right out of a horror movie as she stared at me with her dark, gloomy eyes. “What are you doing?”
She carefully reached for her dress pocket and for a moment I didn’t breathe, until I saw it was her phone. “Doctor Josler called.” Shit! “He asked me if the couple you asked to test the sex pill before could test the new pill you had his team make.”
I felt a lump in my throat. She wasn’t stupid. She could figure this out easily. What had I done to her? She had been suffering since the day Seth died, and I made her suffer more now.
“You used me.” There it was. She said it. “You used me to test the pill.”
“I didn’t. Ethan gave…”
“You let him.” She was telling the story exactly how it happened. “You let him give it to me so you saw what would happ…”
“Yes.” I admitted before she could go any further. “I didn’t plan on having sex with you. You gave yourself to me.”
“Yes.” Her voice was low. “I would give myself to you over and over again.”
What? I took a step towards her. She had been standing in front of me, but now I couldn’t find her. It had been like this since I first met her. She was always there, but I just didn’t know where to go to get to her!
&n
bsp; Shit! Kelsey, come to me.
“You can’t see that, can you,” she continued as I walked, holding on to each mirror I could reach…each version of her that showed her suffering in a million different angles.
“Shit! Where the fuck are you, Kelsey?” I yelled.
She ran and I knew I was near her. “Leave me alone.”
“I will never leave you alone!” I was so fucking frustrated. How was she able to keep doing this to me…to run away from me like this! “I will never let you get away from me!”
“No.” I saw her in the mirrors, running away from me. A million versions of her taunted me. She stopped again to face me. “You have to leave. I will help you. I can ask Father to release your inheritance soon and we could just get on with our lives.”
Somehow, though it had been a dream, the idea didn’t appeal to me as much. This was the literal picture of what she could do to me. She could have me stare at a million pictures of her all day, only to have me choose the wrong one and end up losing her.
“Come here. Where are you?” Please, baby, come to me!
She turned and for a second, I had found her. She dropped her phone and I heard it clearly. She had been behind me, all this time. I got you!
I turned and ran to her. She gasped as my hands snaked around her waist. “Scott.”
I know. How do I tell you what I really feel? Would you listen to me now? “Calm down.”
“You…used me,” she sobbed, and I saw her everywhere. I forced my eyes shut.
I know. “I’ll make it up to you.”
She turned and hugged me. How could she be this compliant to me now? “Just…make up for it?”
What was she asking for? For love? Love. I couldn’t love her and show it. It would be the end of me.
Don’t ask for too much. “Everything’s fine,” I reassured her.
Everything’s fine. That was just another way of saying nothing was. She wasn’t fine. She was struggling. She was in pain. I wasn’t fine. I was becoming addicted to her…to her lips, to her touch, to her body…to her.
“Kiss me,” she whispered.