She had no idea why she was suddenly so nervous. Maybe because she had a gut feeling that Lucas wasn’t going to like this idea, wasn’t going to like the idea of her asking him questions—personal questions.
She had a horrible feeling he was going to think she was merely snooping again when nothing could be further from the truth.
While she’d admit to herself she was curious about his past, curious about a great many things about Lucas and his life before he came to Cooper’s Cove, that didn’t mean she wanted to start snooping or prying into his life or his business.
She’d always felt that if any relationship, even a friendship, was to grow and prosper there had to be trust between the people involved. Without trust, there could never be any kind of relationship, simply because all relationships had to be built on the solid foundation of mutual trust.
And if Lucas didn’t trust her enough to give her an interview, to answer questions about his past, then what?
She honestly didn’t know, which was probably why she found herself holding her breath.
“Katie.” He only said her name, but the tone of his voice set off alarm bells inside of her. “Do you mind if I shut my door so we can talk privately?”
“Uh…. no. Not at all,” she said, clutching her files and folders with nervous hands. Private. He wanted to talk in private so maybe he was finally going to talk to her about himself, his past, about all the things that any woman would naturally be curious about, especially a woman who found her young son smitten with the man, to say nothing about the amount of time Lucas would be spending with Rusty.
She wanted to know this information for Rusty’s sake, she told herself. She had a responsibility as a parent to make certain she knew everything about the adults her son associated with and she didn’t think it was unreasonable for her to want to know more about Lucas’s background.
It was simply parental common sense.
But from the look on his face as he rounded his desk and quietly shut his office door, she didn’t think he was going to see it that way.
When he shut the door, all sound from the outer offices and hallways was instantly silenced, and it seemed as if they were suddenly alone in the world.
And Katie wished the idea of being all alone with him didn’t make her so…twitchy.
Instead of retreating back behind his desk, Lucas grabbed the empty chair next to her, pulled it closer and turned it so he was facing her, then sat down.
For a moment, he said nothing. He merely looked at her until she was certain she was going to start fidgeting under his riveting gaze. There was something intensely male about that look of his, Katie mused, something that made her respond and feel on a level that was instinctively primal and entirely female.
Perhaps that’s why just being around him unnerved her so.
“Katie,” he finally said, reaching for one of her damp hands and cradling it in his own. “I think it’s very important for us to keep these relationships separate, so to speak.”
“Separate?” She shook her head as he gently stroked the skin of her hand with his thumb. “I’m sorry. I don’t understand what you mean.”
“Let’s see if I can explain this.” He hesitated a moment as if gathering his thoughts. “In our professional lives, I’m the chief of police, and you’re a reporter and the managing editor of the town’s only newspaper.”
She couldn’t help but smile. “Well, thank you for pointing that out, Lucas, but I wasn’t really confused about our titles or roles.”
“Well that’s what I want to talk to you about. Our roles. Everyone plays different roles depending on who they’re with and the circumstances. When I’m with Rusty, acting as his buddy, I’m not the police chief any more than when you’re at home, supervising his homework, you’re not acting as a reporter, but as his mother. I guess what I’m saying is that I think it’s vitally important for Rusty’s sake, and for our own, that we keep our professional and personal lives separate.”
“I don’t think I understand, Lucas.” She blew out a breath, feeling a thread of annoyance begin to unravel. “I don’t know how to separate myself. One minute a reporter. One minute a mother. I’m both of those things at the same time.” And had worked damn hard to be able to do both well.
“True, just as I’m the chief and Rusty’s buddy at the same time. But it’s very important that we not let anything that happens say…in our professional lives, any disagreements or differences of opinion we have in our professional lives interfere in our personal lives. I think to do so might end up hurting Rusty, something I don’t think either of us want to do.”
“Okay,” Katie began slowly, desperately trying to understand what he was saying by all the things he wasn’t saying. “If I understand you correctly, what you’re saying is that we can’t let anything that happens in our professional lives affect the way we relate in our personal lives as it pertains to Rusty, right?”
“No,” Lucas said slowly, meeting her confused gaze. “As it relates to anything, not just Rusty.”
Katie nodded, a sense of dread unfolding inside. She had a feeling she already knew what the bottom line of all of this was, and she wasn’t particularly happy about it.
“This is your way of saying you’re not going to let me interview you for the ‘Getting to Know You’ column, isn’t it? And as the managing editor of the newspaper, you don’t want me to hold it against you or let my feelings about your refusal impact your position as Rusty’s buddy? Have I got this right?”
He nodded. He couldn’t tell her that there was no way he could bare his soul and the horrendous scars of his past to anyone, let alone a reporter. It just was never going to happen, no matter what the reasons.
He had a powerful distrust of the press—and was wary of the power they wielded. Reporters were masters of shaping words to tell the story they wanted to tell, regardless of the truth, or how it impacted the people they were writing about.
He’d been burned so many times after his family’s death, burned by the press and their desire to get a story simply to boost their ratings. At times, they made up their facts, using bits and pieces of the truth, and huge fragments of lies.
So why one earth would he ever want to give another interview? It wouldn’t heal his scars, or bring back his family, or lighten the guilt he’d carried around for so long now he feared it had become a permanent part of him.
He had nothing to gain. And everything to lose. He’d moved to Cooper’s Cove to get a fresh start, to try to put the past behind him and start anew.
So why would he invite a reporter to start digging into his life all over again?
There simply was no sense or point to it.
But from the look on Katie’s face, trying to get her to understand his reasons without actually telling her his motives was going to be difficult.
So he chose his words carefully. “I don’t want my refusal to do an interview with you to affect or impact my relationship with Rusty. I don’t think that would be fair to him. Not giving interviews—ever—is a personal choice and a private matter. It has nothing whatsoever to do with my being Rusty’s buddy. Or, quite frankly, with you as Rusty’s mother. Do you understand that?” He waited until she nodded, but clearly she still wasn’t convinced. “Katie, it wouldn’t matter who the managing editor or the reporter asking was, I wouldn’t give them an interview under any circumstances. It goes against my own personal policy. So I guess what I’m saying is just because you happen to be both Rusty’s mom and the managing editor, I don’t want one to prejudice or influence the other. I plan on spending a lot of time with Rusty, and as his mother it’s only natural that some of that time will also be spent with you. It could be very uncomfortable for all of us if we allow our professional disagreements or differences to interfere with our personal relationships.”
“Lucas, do you really think I’d let your refusal to give me an interview interfere in your relationship with my son?” She stared at him curiously, desperatel
y trying not to be hurt. “Do you think so little of me that you don’t think I can separate my responsibilities for my son’s well-being from my responsibilities to the paper?”
“Katie,” he said, his voice husky as he reached for her other hand and held both tightly. “This honestly has nothing to do with you. I hope you believe me on that. I truly believe you are a responsible, respectful, ethical professional. And probably very good at your job.”
“I am,” she confirmed proudly.
“But as I told you last night, I believe in keeping my private life just that—private. And I guess what I’m asking is for you to accept my feelings about this, and not let it color your judgment toward me about being Rusty’s buddy. One really doesn’t have anything to do with the other.”
“Lucas, do you really think that’s totally fair? I understand that you want your privacy. I understand that you want to keep your personal life to yourself. But think about something. If you had a son, would you want someone you barely knew, who refused to tell you anything about his private life, spending time with him?”
His face changed. In an instant it drained of color and she knew she’d hit some kind of nerve. The problem was she didn’t quite know which one. He’d already told her last night he didn’t have any children. So why was he so secretive about his personal life? And why did the mere mention of his having a son make his face go white?
In her experience as a reporter, and as a woman, anyone who refused to tell you something usually was trying to hide something.
So what was Lucas hiding?
And more importantly, why?
Katie mentally shook her head. She didn’t know, but as a mother, she knew she had a responsibility to find out.
“Katie, for goodness sakes,” he finally said. “I’m the police chief. Not some stranger Rusty hustled in off the street. Do you have any idea the kind of vetting process I had to go through to become chief? Do you have any idea what kind of background check I had to go through just to get a gun permit in this state? If I had any deep, dark secrets or a criminal record, I’d never have made it past the first interview for this job. I can give you as many professional character witnesses as you want or need to feel comfortable if that’s the road you want to go, but believe me when I tell you, your son will always be safe with me.” His eyes darkened and his jaw clenched. “I will always guard your son’s life as if it were my own. You have my word on it.” His gaze pleaded with her to understand, and she wanted to, but she simply couldn’t.
“Lucas,” she began carefully. “I wish I could say I understand why you won’t allow an interview, but I don’t. However,” she continued when his face darkened a bit, “maybe I don’t have to understand it. It’s really not my business. You’re entitled to keep your private life just that—private. But I think it’s important for you to know and understand that I do totally and completely believe you when you say Rusty will always be safe with you. The thought that he’d be anything else never crossed my mind.”
“Good.” Lucas finally smiled at her. “Thank you, Katie, that means a lot to me.”
“And even though I might not like or understand your reasons for not wanting to discuss your private life with the managing editor of the newspaper, I promise that I will do my best not to let my feelings about that interfere in any way with any personal relationship you have with my son. Or with me. I hardly think you’d be an effective buddy if Rusty’s mother threw rocks at you every time you came near the house,” she said, trying to make him smile, and grateful when she finally succeeded. “Even though Rusty will tell you I throw like a girl, and I can’t see two feet in front of me without my glasses, who knows, I might get a lucky toss in and then where would we be?” She could see the tension ease out of him, see his shoulders relax, his jaw unclench.
But she also saw something else, something that nibbled away at her far more than her curiosity—she saw pain in Lucas’s eyes.
It made her heart ache in a way it hadn’t in a very long time to know that something or someone had caused that terrible pain she saw in his eyes.
It made her want to just wrap her arms around him and hold him close, to soothe and comfort in a way she hadn’t done with a man in a very long time. And until this moment, until she’d been face-to-face with the naked, raw pain in Lucas’s face, she hadn’t realized she’d wanted to comfort a man again.
But she did.
And she hadn’t a clue what to do with those feelings.
“Thank you, Katie.” Slowly, he lifted her hand again and gently brushed a kiss across every fingertip, making her pulse hammer and her heart seem to skip a beat. “You have no idea how much that means to me.”
Because her pulse was scampering, Katie glanced up and saw the time. “Oh my goodness, Lucas!” She jumped to her feet. “It’s after twelve, I’ve got to go. I’ve got a million things to do today.” She began gathering her files and folders up.
“And if I don’t hustle I’m going to be late for my date with your mother.”
Katie froze. “My mother?” she repeated, turning to look at him. “You have a date with my mother?”
He chuckled, bending to pick up a few papers she’d dropped from her folders. “Well, that’s what she called it this morning when she called and invited me to lunch.” The sadness had lifted from his eyes and now mischief once again danced freely. “Apparently someone tattled and told her that last night you were seen fighting with the police chief in front of the whole town.” Slowly, Lucas shook his head. “Imagine that?” he said, trying to keep a straight face as she groaned.
“Remind me to strangle Patience Pettibone when I see her,” Katie muttered in annoyance. He laughed, dropping an arm around her shoulder as she started walking toward the door. The warmth of him pressed the entire length of her and she felt that odd yearning deep inside again.
“Uh…maybe I’d better remind you that you’re talking to a duly sworn officer of the law.”
“Details, details,” she muttered.
“By the way, when you see Rusty’s mother—”
“Rusty’s mother?” Katie repeated, glancing up at him in confusion. Then she saw his smile, and got it. Rusty’s buddy wanted to talk to Rusty’s mom. “Okay. When I see Rusty’s mother…what?”
“Tell her that she probably shouldn’t rush home tonight since Rusty’s planning a little surprise for her.”
“Surprise?”
Lucas nodded, and the look on his face made her immediately suspicious.
“Does this surprise have anything to do with spitting contests or anything else gross like that?”
Lucas burst out laughing. “Not a thing. Scout’s honor,” he said, crossing his heart with his free hand.
“Okay. But I have a message for Rusty’s buddy as well.”
“And what would that message be?”
“Rusty forgot that the first basketball practice is today. So he’s going to be an hour later for everything than he’d originally planned.”
“That’s right,” Lucas said as he paused in the doorway, his arms still around Katie’s shoulder. “I forgot about that.” He grinned at her confusion. “I volunteered to help out the coach with the team. I guess I’d better start checking that planner my assistant keeps writing things down in.”
“Sounds like a plan to me.” She glanced up at him and immediately thought about last night and the kiss they shared. If she stood just on her tiptoes she could brush her lips across his.
Right. All she needed was to have someone report that to her mother!
“I better go,” she finally stammered, realizing she’d better step away from him before she did something to embarrass both of them. “I’ll…uh…see you later.” Katie bolted toward the elevator, stepping in and then turning to watch Lucas, their gazes meeting and holding until the doors slowly closed.
Sixty minutes later Katie was in her office, desperately trying to proofread the final blue lines—those were the final, typeset pages that, when printed,
would become the actual newspaper.
The printer sent over the blue lines two days before the newspaper was actually printed and she had exactly eight hours to correct any errors before delivering them back to the printer before 8:00 p.m. the same day. Any errors she didn’t find would end up in the newspaper and she’d hear about them from everyone in town for a full week, until next week’s edition came out.
At the rate she was going today, running behind since she woke up, she was going to have a difficult time making her deadline.
And if she didn’t make her deadline, the printer wouldn’t have the newspaper ready for distribution on Friday afternoon. Something that had never happened in the history of Cooper’s Cove, something she wasn’t about to let happen today.
She had to make that deadline.
So she tried to put all thoughts of Lucas out of her mind and simply concentrate on what she was doing. But when she found herself reading the same paragraph for the fourth time, and still not knowing what it said, she realized she needed a break.
Her curiosity had been aroused by all the things Lucas refused to tell her about his private life, all the things that her mind was imagining. And now she simply couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Or Lucas.
What on earth could have happened in his past that he was so adamant about protecting? Or hiding?
She didn’t know, but she did know that she couldn’t betray the fledgling trust they’d developed, a trust that was absolutely paramount to Lucas’s relationship with Rusty.
About the Boy Page 9
