“So what are you guys doing for prom?” Teddy asked as he walked me to the front door.
I rolled my eyes and groaned. Theatrical Ket is always a crowd pleaser. “Oh Teddy, it’s going to be such a shit show. Jen decided that she wanted the four of us to just prom-it together. I wish you were coming. Like, couldn’t you just throw on a suit real quick?”
Teddy grinned as I stepped out onto the patio. “Tempting … but no.”
I smiled, wrapping my arms around myself at the chill, the plastic encasing my dress crinkling as I crushed it to my side. Teddy and Rosie had spent every dance of our high school experience hanging out in the band room, eating Cheetos like the dorks they were. If Teddy were to go to prom, it would literally be his very first one. “Well, I figured it was worth it to check,” I said, skipping down the steps.
“Hey, Ket?” I heard Teddy say.
I turned. He was leaning against the doorjamb, a faint smile on his face. “I will get over it by graduation.”
I smiled in return. “Now, was that so hard?”
Teddy rolled his eyes, but I caught a flash of a bigger smile before he shut the door.
I walked across the Lawrence lawn and ducked through the gap in the lilac bushes that separated Teddy’s yard from Rosie’s.
Somewhere between Teddy’s and Rosie’s, the satisfied smile on my face faded away. With no one watching, it was harder to keep the sting away.
One could say many things about Keturah West-Beauchamp. Indian. Slutty. So-so grades. Rainbow flag-wavin’ parents.
But the best and truest thing you could say about me was that I was a good friend. I kept secrets, I plotted, and I forced reconciliations.
Even when the reconciliation was between my oldest friend and the guy I’d been in love with since I was ten.
3
Rosie Winchester
April 18, 4:15 PM
The last thing I wanted to do was put on the prom dress hanging on my closet door. But if I didn’t get up and change soon, my stepdad Will was going to pop into my room and try to talk about my feelings. And neither one of us was great at talking about feelings.
After, Ket saw an email our school sent her parents, warning them that these things can happen in clusters. Copycats. Girls rushing to follow the next pill-popping-wrist-slicing trend. Very Virgin Suicides. I’m sure my parents got a similar email, but per usual, Will is the only one who seems to be taking it seriously.
The doorbell rang. It was probably Jenna, who arrived early to everything. I shut my eyes and put my headphones on, filling my ears with AC/DC. Will would answer the door.
Less than half a song later, the door to my bedroom burst open. “Heeey!” Ket cried, a prom dress of her own slung over one arm.
I propped myself up on my elbows, pulling off my headphones. “You didn’t flirt with my stepdad, did you?”
Ket smirked. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
I refused to take the bait.
Ket asked me once if it was weird to have a stepdad who is young and kind of hot. It isn’t. Hot or not, I’m pretty sure Will changed my diapers and he was definitely the one who took me to get tampons when I started my period.
She tossed her dress on my desk and hopped onto my bed. “What’s wrong with you, Eeyore?”
I frowned. “Nothing.”
“Are you going to be a mopey bitch all night?”
“No,” I said, rolling off my bed.
Ket raised her eyebrows but didn’t argue. “Let’s see your dress.”
I pulled the plastic sheeting off the hanger. Ket gasped. I suppressed a smile. I might not have been stoked about prom (understatement), but I was pretty into my dress, a floor-length emerald gown with a plunging back that I had purchased with my mom’s credit card.
“Holy balls, Ro, this is incredible! How much was it?”
I shrugged. “$400. My mom paid.”
Ket whistled. “I thought she was being stingy?”
My smile faded. I tossed the dress back on my bed. “She’s only stingy when she thinks my dad should be paying.” (Sort of true. She was going to freak when she saw it on her statement. Still, that would not keep her from screaming at my dad, “I bought Rosie’s prom dress!”)
Ket snorted. “Sounds about right. Here, check out mine.”
I oohed and ahhhed over Ket’s dress, a sequined rose gold mini with cap sleeves and a plunging neckline. It suited her. Then again, everything suited her. She shaved half of her head freshman year and still managed to look hot. Whereas I had never expanded from the uniform of jeans, tees, and thick-rimmed glasses that I’d been rocking since I was twelve. Most people probably thought I was a tomboy, but really, I loved fashion. I was just too chicken to try anything myself.
I felt a twinge of doubt as I glanced at the dress. I must have been accidentally high when I picked it out. I did not have what it took to pull it off. (Well, except the surfboard chest. That, I had in spades.)
Ket ran off to my mom’s bathroom to arrange the makeup she’d brought while we waited for Jenna and Elin to arrive.
I walked over to my bedroom window and peeked behind the curtain. My view looked down into Teddy’s window. But Teddy’s curtains were drawn, like they had been for two months.
I never planned to go to prom. The thing is, though, when one of your oldest friends who also tried to kill herself wants to go to prom … well.
There’s nothing you can say to get out of that gig.
“Are you coming or what?” Ket called from down the hall. I checked Teddy’s window one more time, hoping he would magically appear—but of course he didn’t.
I loved Jenna, Ket, and Elin, but there had always been something special about my friendship with Teddy. He lived with his grandparents because his parents were even more dysfunctional than mine—a drug-addicted mom, a dad who had started a new family without him. We both wanted to travel the world, me writing stories and him playing guitar. When I couldn’t sleep, I could call him and we would whisper conversations until dawn.
Guys used to tease Teddy about being gay, probably because his name was “Teddy” and he hung out with four girls all the time. He didn’t do himself any favors when he started painting his fingernails black and wearing eyeliner. But the summer before junior year, he shot up a few inches and his grandparents put him in CrossFit. Suddenly he was too muscled to be bullied. Just left alone.
Teddy and I always made excellent co-loners.
My bed squeaked as Ket flopped down. I turned to see her staring up at me, chin propped up on her hands. “Ro? Seriously, what’s the deal?”
I shrugged, falling onto my back beside Ket. “Nothing.”
“Teddy?”
I shrugged. Ket screwed up her face, her lips puckering prettily. All of Ket’s faces were pretty, even her sad and sympathetic ones. But I wasn’t in the mood to talk.
The doorbell chimed again. “Ro!” Will called from downstairs. “You gonna get that, kid?”
“Could you?” I yelled, not getting up from my bed. “I’m changing!”
Jenna and Elin pounded up the stairs bearing bags of snacks. We filed into my mom’s bathroom. (Technically Will’s too, but he took up so little space that it was easy to forget.)
Jenna put her iPod in the dock. Elin set out bags of sour vegan gummy bears, Hot Tamales, canisters of Pringles, and a four-pack of sugar-free Red Bull. I grabbed a drink.
“You know, I thought a girls-night prom was stupid at first, but the concept has grown on me, Jen,” Ket said as she plugged in her flat iron and hot rollers. Those were probably for me—Ket’s hair was already shiny and stick-straight.
Jenna raised her eyebrow. “Glad I could accommodate you.” She was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, brushing through her wavy red hair, a grim look on her face—which was particularly weird, since Jenna had been bouncing off the walls with glee before Homecoming.
This prom group date thing was Jenna’s idea. As soon as Elin came back to school, the watercolor ver
sion of her former self, Jenna pulled us aside and said, “I’ve been thinking about prom. I think the four of us should go together. No dates.”
It was hard to argue—only Jenna had a boyfriend and Ket hadn’t accepted an invitation yet. Jenna insisted it would be good for Elin, and Elin did seem to love the idea. But what I really wanted to do was order takeout and read A Storm of Swords. I suspected that Jenna had insisted on driving just so I wouldn’t be able to pretend to get sick and go home.
Ket waved a hand impatiently, popping the tab on a Red Bull. “I just mean, who gives up the chance for some prom night romance? Not that Rosie would have had a date. No offense, Ro.”
I shrugged.
“But seriously, Jen, I don’t know how you can pass on the opportunity to dance the night away with Miles. I mean, rawr. If you and I weren’t friends …”
“Where are you going with this, Ket?” Jenna asked, her mouth thin.
“Nothing, I’m just glad you had this idea. Mama Leanne was not pleased with my calc midterm and I thought she was going to lay down the law, but then I was like, ‘I don’t even have a date. I’m going with my girlfriends, the most wholesome prom night you could imagine.’”
Jenna reached for a handful of Hot Tamales, her expression softening. “If you’re having trouble, why don’t you just ask for help?” she asked. “I’d tutor you.”
Ket grinned, testing a shimmery eyeshadow on the back of her hand. “Thanks, but I value our friendship too much to subject you to teaching me math.”
Jenna rolled her eyes. I felt a serious Jenna lecture coming on, so I cleared my throat. “Help me do my makeup?” I asked Ket.
Elin grabbed Ket’s hand, tugging her out of the bathroom. “Help me get into my dress first.”
“Change last, you might get makeup on your dress,” Jenna said, but Elin and Ket were already out the door.
4
BEFORE
Elin Angstrom
August 25, 7:15 AM
Elin was only wearing jeans and a bra when she heard Rosie honk. She didn’t have to glance out her window to know it was Rosie—the Isuzu’s horn had a dying cow sound that Elin couldn’t have mistaken anywhere.
Pick a shirt. Just pick a shirt.
Piles of clothes lay on her bed. And even though she knew she should hurry, Elin just stared at the options, unsure.
The navy plaid button up?
The sheer coral blouse over a cami?
The violet tunic with white embroidery?
Every first day before this one, Elin had arrived at school baked as golden brown as a Barbie, her blonde hair falling in a wavy waterfall down her back, wearing an outfit she’d selected a week in advance. This year, after spending most of the summer indoors, her complexion was winter-white, freckles MIA, and her damp hair was drying into frizzy cowlicks.
She should have woken up earlier. If she’d just climbed out of bed the first time her alarm sounded, sunshine streaming through her window, she wouldn’t have this problem. But she had felt queasy and crampy and hit the snooze button until her mother had finally knocked on her door.
A shower had done nothing to relieve the dull ache settling into her hips. She’d pulled on her new jeans, a designer pair her sister Cat had gotten for her birthday. She hadn’t gotten them hemmed, so she had to roll them up. She had considered shirts but found that too overwhelming. She had wandered into her bathroom, dusted bronzer on her cheekbones with a shaking hand, feeling like she was moving in slow-motion. She tried to remember where she put her class schedule.
And now she was standing in her room, unable to escape the shirt decision, with her friends waiting outside.
The slouchy gray oversized tee?
The red-and-white Park City Soccer tee shirt Ben had given her last spring?
Her cell phone blipped, a text from Ket. Elin walked over to her desk and swiped it open, knowing she should stay focused on the task at hand.
Giiiiiiiirl, where are you? Rosie says there won’t be time for Sodalicious.
Elin swore under her breath, tucking the phone into her back pocket. She grabbed a white V-neck off her bed and pulled it over her head as she shoved her feet into a pair of flip-flops. She grabbed her mostly empty bag off her desk—she hadn’t even bought a notebook. But Jenna was sure to have extra.
The dying cow honk sounded for a second time as Elin ran down her steps two at a time. “Do you want breakfast?” her mother called from the kitchen.
Elin didn’t bother replying. Her mother would just assume she hadn’t heard.
Rosie’s car was idling at the curb. Teddy was hanging out the passenger side window. “Elin, move your ass!” he barked, but his eyes were twinkling.
Elin forced out a laugh. “I’m right here!” she said, putting a smile on her face and an extra sway in her step. “Hold your horses, Lawrence.”
Teddy grinned at her lazily, shaggy curls hanging into his eyes. “Sorry,” he said, not sounding sorry in the slightest. “But Rosie was about to honk a third time.”
“I was not!” Rosie yelled from the driver’s seat.
Elin tsked as she climbed into the back seat. “Living on the edge, Ro? A third honk and Mrs. Brown would come yell at us for sure.”
Ket slid her bags aside to make room for Elin and leaned over the console. “Can we still stop at Sodalicious?” she asked. “I really, really need a dirty Diet Coke.”
Elin sat cross-legged on the bench seat as she pulled her hair into a braid. She hoped Rosie wouldn’t notice she wasn’t wearing a seatbelt—Rosie was a stickler for safety. Rosie had driven their group to school since her mother got her the Trooper, an excuse to stop driving Rosie to her dad’s house wrapped up as a gift.
Rosie drummed her fingers on the steering wheel, lips pursed, as they slowed for a stop sign. Elin glanced up at the rearview, checking Rosie’s expression. She could practically see the calculation behind Rosie’s eyes.
“Where are the others?” Elin asked, even though she knew the answer.
“Ben and Miles went early for conditioning and Jenna has tennis,” Ket rattled off, right on cue.
The clock on the dash said that first period bell was going to ding in eight minutes. Rosie chewed her lip. Elin held her breath. The soda would make her feel better, but more than that, she felt stupid that it had been her indecision over a shirt that was going to make them late.
Teddy poked Rosie in the arm. “It’s senior year, Ro,” he said, half a smile on his face. “Does anyone really care if we’re on time?”
Rosie sighed, but she was fighting a smile of her own. “Fine.”
Rosie flipped on her turn signal and Ket grinned, flopping back on her seat and turning to look at Elin. Ket tilted her head to one side, toying with one dangling earring. “Rough morning?” she asked.
Elin paused, about to tie off the end of her braid. “No. Why do you ask?”
Ket nodded at her chest. “Purple bra, white shirt.”
Elin glanced down. She made herself laugh, shrug. “Whoops.”
“Oh Elin, I love your trainwrecked guts,” Ket said, rifling through her purse. She pulled out one of a dozen lipglosses that were scattered at the bottom, tossing it to Elin.
“Thanks,” Elin said, unscrewing the cap to apply it, barely even looking at the color. “I stayed up late on the phone with Ben. I slept in and grabbed the first outfit I saw.”
“Ahh, young love,” Ket said dryly, stretching out her long limbs and rolling down her window. Ribbons of her dark brown hair blew across her face.
In the front, Teddy was plugging his iPod into Rosie’s auxiliary cable. The Talking Heads filled the cab, and Teddy drummed along happily. Teddy obsessed over musical trends. Spring semester had been seventies rock, this summer was all new wave.
Elin wished they could just drive in silence for once. But she hated raining on anyone’s parade.
Rosie raised an eyebrow at Teddy. “You’re in a good mood,” she observed, gazing at him over her Ray-Bans.
He shrugged, grinning at her sleepily. “Dirty Cokes, Ro. What else is there in life?”
Elin glanced at Ket, eager for a distraction, but Ket was deliberately not looking at her. Elin shrugged, pulling her legs up and wrapping her arms around them, pressing her cheek against her knee. Teddy’s crush on Rosie—and Rosie’s total obliviousness—had become a running joke between Jenna, Elin, and Ket last year, but Ket had begun to express less amusement over it.
They ended up second in line at the drive-thru—not bad for a school day. Rosie ordered four dirty Cokes, diet for Ket and Elin and extra lime for Teddy. They were going to be late, but for once Rosie didn’t seem worried. Jenna had once told Elin that Rosie took too much responsibility for their friends. Look who’s talking, Elin had thought at the time.
“So I can’t drive you guys home until 4 o’clock today,” Rosie said, passing out the drinks. “Elin and I have our first cross-country meeting after school.”
Elin paused, cords around her stomach tightening. “I’m not doing cross-country this year,” she said. “Or track.”
Teddy and Ket were still comparing class schedules, but Rosie bent her rearview mirror so she could look at Elin. “What? Since when? Does Jenna know?”
Elin shrugged, peeling the paper from her straw. “My parents really want me to focus on my grades,” she said, keeping her voice indifferent. Casual. “College applications and all.”
Teddy finally tuned into their conversation as Rosie pulled back out into traffic. “Aren’t extracurriculars good for college applications?”
Elin flashed him a sunny smile and took a sip of her soda. “You should talk. How many extracurriculars do you have?”
“Aikido is an extracurricular,” Teddy said, feigning offense.
“And he’s president of the comic book appreciation club,” Ket added.
“Graphic novel appreciation club,” Teddy corrected.
Rosie raised her eyebrows. “Since when?”
“Since today,” Teddy said, knocking his paper cup against Rosie’s. “Ro, we need to start that club or we aren’t getting into college. Wanna be my treasurer?”
“Deal,” Rosie agreed, her mouth quirking up in a half smile.
When the Truth Unravels Page 2
