I didn’t tell her I felt the same. Momma seemed preoccupied, absentmindedly tapping a finger on the counter while she gazed outside, so I didn’t say anything to her in reply. I just stuffed my biscuit down and grabbed another plum to put in my own pocket. Even though it was hot already at this early hour, I knew where Gemma had gone with her pockets full, and I was determined to join her.
“Maybe I’ll catch up and walk her to church, Momma. She could use some company now, I think.”
“That’s a nice idea, Jessilyn. Maybe she’ll confide in you. Daddy and I will pick you up at the colored church.”
“Oh no, that’s okay,” I replied almost too quickly, knowing full well church was not where Gemma was heading with that food in her pockets. “I’ll walk. I can cut through the woods and make it on time.”
“You’ll get your dress all in tatters.”
“I’ll be careful. And anyways, if Gemma decides to talk about somethin’ important, won’t it be strange if you and Daddy come ridin’ up in the middle of it?” I could feel my right eyelid twitch a bit under the strain of stretching the truth to my momma, but I tried to console myself that it was for Gemma’s sake. “It ain’t a long walk, Momma. I’ll be fine.”
Momma bit her lower lip for a moment in consideration before relenting. “All right, honey. We’ll see you at the church.”
I grabbed another biscuit and scurried out the door before she could reconsider. The sun was already beating down something fierce, but I made my way along the road, humming a bit to make the time go faster. I was sweating from top to toe by the time I reached town. I figured it didn’t matter too much since I didn’t plan on seeing anyone but Mr. Poe and Gemma. When I came near the jail, Sheriff Clancy was on the stoop peering at the sun and smoking a cigarette. He flicked some ash over the side rail, and I breathed a deep sigh of relief to see it land on ground that was no longer cluttered with angry men. The sheriff must have made his threats worthwhile enough to keep them away for the time being, but I wasn’t so sure it would last.
Sneaking around a big oak tree, I paused as Sheriff Clancy dropped his gaze to squash his cigarette under his shoe. Then, when he turned to go inside, I rushed around the corner of the building to the back, where Mr. Poe’s window was.
I wasn’t surprised to see Gemma there, lying on her stomach with no thought for the dust she was collecting on her skirt front. She had her chin resting on her folded arms, a cockeyed smile on her face.
“There you are, Mr. Poe,” she was saying. “That works, sure enough.”
Once I crept up behind her, I saw for myself what she was talking about. Mr. Poe had a long, narrow wooden box that he was carefully maneuvering through the small spaces between the bars in his window, his tongue stuck out in concentration.
“Sure ’nough, it done fit, Miss Gemma,” he said in his lazy drawl. Then he got an awkward, childlike expression on his face and looked behind him nervously. “Don’t know ’bout what the sheriff would think, though. Might say ah cain’t have it.”
“But that’s what I brought the box for, Mr. Poe. It’s our special secret. Don’t the sheriff or nobody got to know.”
“Ah don’t know, Miss Gemma,” he said, scuffing one shoe noisily on the cement floor. “Don’t know if ah should be keepin’ secrets.”
“It’s not so much a secret, Mr. Poe,” I said softly, sneaking up to join Gemma at the window. “It’s just friends sharin’ a memory, is all. You know how you showed me your secret berry-pickin’ spot when I was little? It’s like that. Don’t hurt nobody. It’s just a special bit of happiness that friends share.”
Gemma peered at me over her shoulder and gave me a soft, grateful smile. I smiled back and lowered myself onto my stomach beside her.
But Mr. Poe still looked conflicted, and I saw him wince and blink hard twice, trying to make up his mind.
I didn’t know what was in the box, but I could guess. “Got some special things in there, Mr. Poe?”
“Yes’m. Got me some mighty good coins in there and five good stones.” He nodded and repeated, “Yep. Five good ones. Miss Gemma, she know how tuh find good smooth stones. Five good ones too.”
“Gemma’s always been good at pickin’ stones,” I said, though I’d never seen her pick up a stone to do anything more than chase a raccoon away. I moved a little closer to the window and whispered, “Seems she’s gone to a right bit of trouble to bring you some little happiness. Maybe you best keep this little old secret so’s she won’t be feelin’ sad and hurt. You think maybe so?”
Mr. Poe’s brow wrinkled up even more, and after he finished blinking several times fast, he said, “Reckon yer right, Miss Jessie. Reckon muh momma always told me tuh show proper thanks when friends treat a body kindly.” He looked expectantly at me. “You reckon muh momma would think so now?”
“I think she would, Mr. Poe. Ain’t no harm in this here little secret. None at all that I can see.”
Mr. Poe thought for a moment and then smiled at Gemma. “Mighty nice of you, Miss Gemma. Mighty nice.”
“No trouble at all, Mr. Poe,” she said, relief written all over her sleep-deprived face. “Now, that box should fit nice under your cot, I think. If you just slide it under and all the way into the corner, I think it’ll stay our secret.”
“Seems you could use some refreshment, Mr. Poe,” I told him. “Want some of this here plum?”
“Mighty kind of you, Miss Jessie, but Miss Gemma here, she done already bring me biscuits and a plum.” He rubbed his thin stomach. “Don’t think ah could take another bite jest yet. And you be sure tuh thank yer momma fer the good suppers she’s bringin’. Sure makes a body feel cared fer.”
“Sure enough, Mr. Poe. You sure you don’t need anythin’, then?”
“Miss Jessilyn, I got muh Bible and muh prayers, so ah got me all ah need.”
The smile he gave me was worn and not at all like the bright, innocent smiles I’d always seen on his face. For the first time in his many years on this earth, Mr. Poe was learning what it was like to have the world come against him, and I was sad to see his carefree face so changed.
For all that I hated some of how the world had treated me, just then I would have wished Mr. Poe’s grief were mine.
Luke watched me impatiently over the chessboard, his chin resting on the edge of the table. “A man can only stare at them squares on the board for so long, Jessie, before it all just starts to mix together. I’m gettin’ cross-eyed.”
I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Luke, I ain’t never buggin’ you to hurry on your turns.”
“That’s because I don’t take twenty minutes to do it.”
“If I’m so tiresome, then I don’t know why you even bother playin’ with me.”
“Ain’t no one else around here who likes chess.”
“Well, I’m flattered I’m only good as a last choice. Maybe if you teach Duke, he’ll play better’n me.”
Our basset hound picked his head up and gave me a mournful look before dropping his head back down under the table.
“Guess he don’t want to play chess with you,” I told Luke, my mouth turned up in a wry smile. “Maybe you’re not so good a chess partner as you think.”
“I never claimed to be a good chess partner,” he said, leaning back in his chair to catch the slight breeze that had kicked up. “I only claimed to be able to finish makin’ up my ever-lovin’ mind in less than an hour.”
I glared at him for a minute, but he just kept his face pointed upward into that breeze. I went back to staring at the board even though I wasn’t thinking a bit about chess. I was thinking about Gemma and Mr. Poe and trying to figure out any way I could do something but sit around waiting for things to get better. Luke’s porch rocker creaked as he began to stir back and forth.
“I’m tryin’ to think over here,” I said.
“Well, I’m trying not to fall asleep over here.”
“You play the game like you’re sleepwalkin’ anyhow. What’s the difference?”
Through the open windows I could hear Daddy sigh all the way from his chair in the den. “Can’t we never have a quiet Sunday afternoon without you two arguin’ about somethin’?” he muttered. “I swear you spat like a married couple.”
The very mention of me and Luke in the same sentence with the word married made my heart flutter, but I just fingered one of my knights and tapped my foot a little to ease my nerves.
Momma was sweeping the porch, and she stopped and peered through the window screen. “You makin’ a point about married people, Harley Lassiter?” she asked sharply. “You sayin’ we argue all the time?”
“Now, Sadie, don’t let’s start. I didn’t mean nothin’ by it.”
“Why shouldn’t I start somethin’? That’s the way married couples are, ain’t it?” She propped her broom against the wall and made her way inside. “S’pose we best be like all them other quarrelin’ married folks.”
Daddy’s sigh was louder and longer this time, and I fought off a smile as best I could. I peered at Luke to share my amusement with him, but he was staring hard at his hands resting on the table, his cheeks red as beets.
Now, I’d seen Luke Talley happy, sad, angry, irritated—any which way you could think, I’d seen him. But I’d never once seen him as uncomfortable as I saw him now. His toe tapped so much my king wobbled from the vibration and he squinted hard at the board like he was losing his sight.
But I was enough of a woman to guess at what was going on inside his head. I hadn’t missed that it was Daddy’s mention of marriage that had set those cheeks on fire. There’d been a glimmer of hope of late that I’d finally started to get his attention after four long years, and I wasn’t made up of the stuff that would keep me from making him suffer . . . just a little.
“You feelin’ sick or somethin’?” I asked after a minute, one corner of my mouth twitching in an attempt to keep from smiling.
He jerked like I’d pinched him. “What’re you talkin’ about?”
“I said, are you sick or somethin’? You got red cheeks like you been sunburnt.”
He squinted at me. “Well, maybe I’m sunburnt.”
“You sayin’ you done got sunburnt sittin’ on this here covered porch for forty-five minutes? ’Cause you weren’t sunburnt when you got here.”
“Jessie, you tryin’ to be ornery or somethin’?” he asked, his tone harsh.
My mouth finally slipped up into a half smile, but I narrowed my eyes to compensate. “I’m just bein’ concerned for you, is all.”
“Well, seems to me you worry too much.”
For the next twenty minutes Luke hardly even looked at me, and once he started to squirm like there were ants in his pants, I felt a twinge of shame for making him so nervous. I purposefully put my queen in danger as my way of apology, but Luke missed the chance twice. It was like playing chess with a statue, and as the game went on in uncomfortable silence, I started to get annoyed at his failure.
“What in tarnation,” I finally cried. “You got sense in your head or not?”
“What are you talkin’ about?” he asked, his brow wrinkled like an old hound dog.
“I just gave you the game, and you ain’t even got the sense to see it.”
“Well, what’d you give me the game for? I ain’t no charity case.”
“I was just tryin’ to be nice, is all.”
Under his long, dark lashes, Luke gave me that “evil eye” that Daddy was always saying Momma gave him when he got ornery. “Fine!” he snapped. “If you don’t want to play, you don’t have to cheat. You can just say so.”
“Fine! I say so. I quit! You can play chess with someone else from now on if you’re goin’ to sit there and daydream the whole time.” My words came out with conviction, but I didn’t mean them. The way I saw things, if he was daydreaming about me, he could play me in a bad game of chess anytime he wanted. But I was just stubborn enough to want the last word.
Luke kept giving me that evil eye, but I met it head-on. I wasn’t one to back down from a challenge any time, but when Luke’s eyes were staring me down, I never had any interest in looking away. Even when they were full of anger, those blue eyes were two of my favorite things to look at.
The whine of the screen door broke the spell, and we looked up to find Momma peering out at us.
“Thought we’d make some good ice cream,” she said lightly as though she hadn’t caught the two of us in an angry glare. “You up to crankin’, Luke?”
Luke smiled for the first time in a half hour. “Yes’m. Some ice cream sounds mighty nice about now.”
“It’s hot enough, there’s no doubt,” I said. “I best track down Gemma and see if she wants some.”
“Gemma’s out on a walk, baby. She said she’d be back later on. Seemed she needed some thinkin’ time to herself.” Momma’s face creased a bit in worry, and I understood how she was feeling. Even though I knew Momma didn’t really know just how much thinking Gemma had to do these days, I knew she had a good idea that Gemma was having a good and hard time. I figured that on her way back to the kitchen, Momma would be whispering a heartfelt prayer for our Gemma, and I hoped it worked. Gemma needed all the help she could get.
Momma came back outside, and while I watched Luke get to work, I had to try hard not to sit and worry. I wondered where Gemma was and why she was out on this hot day taking a walk. Gemma hated hot days, and as long as I’d known her, she’d never liked taking walks on them.
After a while I glanced over at Luke. His face was all red and he raised one hand to wipe his forehead with the back of his wrist. I put aside my worry and went over to see if I could help.
“Here, I’ll do some.”
“It’s all right,” he said pleasantly. “I’m doin’ fine.”
“But you’re all hot and sweaty. I can take a turn.”
“Gonna be hot and sweaty on a day like this any which way, Jessie. I was hot and sweaty playin’ that there game of chess.”
“Well, ain’t no reason for you to keep doin’ it when I can help. You go on and get yourself some sweet tea, and I’ll crank some.” I reached out and put my hands against his, meaning to take over his job, but he pushed my hands away with a sharp quickness that startled me.
“Luke, it’s our ice cream. If I want to crank it, I’m gonna crank it.”
“Don’t need no help,” he said, his ears turning a color that matched his face. His voice took on an agitation I didn’t expect when he finished, “If a man says he don’t need no help, Jessilyn, he don’t need no help.”
I watched him, my stomach in knots because Luke’s voice held a sternness that I wasn’t accustomed to hearing from him. Momma was coming out the door when Luke spoke, and even she stopped short at the sound of his voice.
“I was just tryin’ to be nice,” I said softly. For once, I didn’t feel like arguing back, and I went to the door to take the glasses of sweet tea Momma was carrying.
“You doin’ okay there, Luke?” Momma asked carefully. “I got Harley busy fixin’ the screen on the back door, but he says he’ll be finished in a quick minute, so he can give the crank a turn for you when he’s done.”
“He don’t have to worry,” Luke said in a tone that was much kinder than the one he’d given me. “I’ve got it taken care of.”
Momma gave me an odd look before she disappeared into the house, but I glanced away. I didn’t want to answer the question her eyes asked. The way I figured it, I was only guessing at things, and I didn’t want to say anything to anyone unless I knew for sure. Just for now, whatever was happening between Luke and me could be something special, and I wanted to keep it to ourselves.
Luke wiped his forehead with his wrist again, and I noted that his ears were still that funny pink color.
“Ain’t no woman can figure a man, Jessilyn,” my momma had told me once not long ago. “I guess they’re God’s way of remindin’ us ladies that we can’t know everythin’.”
The way I saw it just then, I wasn’t
even close to knowing everything.
But I was starting to learn.
Chapter 11
I could hear Daddy’s angry voice all the way upstairs, which worried me since my daddy only yelled when he got good and mad. I could tell as I made my way down the steps that he was yelling at no one in particular. He was just ranting and raving, and when I reached the hallway and peered cautiously into the kitchen, I could see my momma sitting in a chair at the table, her gaze focused on nothing in particular.
“Ain’t no reason I got to crawl on my hands and knees to no man, Sadie. Will you just look at me?” Daddy asked, holding out his calloused and worn hands. “Here I am, forty-three years old, and I got to be bound to a man like Coble Hadley.”
“You ain’t bein’ bound to him,” Momma said softly. “You’re bound by no man, Harley Lassiter, and there ain’t no reason to lose hope yet. This drought may look bad, but we’ll be able to pay our mortgage somehow.”
“I’m as bound by him as any man. The man can take away my farm, I don’t pay him on time. Ain’t no mornin’ I don’t get up hopin’ I can manage to find the money I need every month.”
“Ain’t never been a time the Lord’s let us fall into hard times we can’t handle. Ain’t never gonna be a time.”
Daddy rested his hands on the kitchen table and looked Momma square in the eye. “I’ll tell you somethin’, Sadie Louise,” he said with a face so earnest it made my stomach tie up into a big, painful knot. “Ain’t never been a time my faith’s been tested like it is now. Some days, I don’t know where God is. Sure don’t feel like He’s right here.”
I didn’t know much about faith, but I knew that whatever it was, my daddy had it, and it had always given me peace. To see and hear him in this way, doubting what he’d always held so strongly to, turned my world upside down.
Momma reached out and grabbed Daddy’s hands so tightly, her own hands shook. “Ain’t nothin’ in this world that’ll ruin us besides losin’ our faith, Harley. There ain’t nothin’! You hear? We can lose everythin’ and still make it by, but if you start losin’ that solid faith that makes you who you are, we may as well drop dead here and now. ’Cause there ain’t no livin’ like that.”
Cottonwood Whispers Page 12
