I can’t get ˈem words of hers outta my head. You aren’t the best I’ve ever had, Smiter. What the fucking hell was that? Not the best she’s had? Bullshit.
No way that’s true. She just knew it’d get to me, get a rise outta me.
Goddamn woman’s a force of fucking nature. She really brought it tonight. Owning me on my own turf like that? At my fucking clubhouse? I mean, shit. I can’t wrap my head ˈround it.
What the fuck is wrong with me? I went into Temptress that night to see if we could somehow keep our fuck buddy arrangement going. I didn’t wanna give up what we got together. Being done is so fucking final, I was having second thoughts. Then, the morning after, when I was sobering up, I realized it can’t be no other way. She wants a relationship and I ain’t been that guy for a real long time. But, seeing her up at the bar tonight with somebody else… fuck… it hit me. I can’t let go of her. I fucking can’t. What a goddamn mess.
Finally, I make it through the crowds to the bar.
One of the prospects spots me right away and makes his way over to take my order.
Wait. Hold up.
Where’s Halle at?
I’m gonna find her and send her home right the hell now. I gotta get my head on straight and her being here ain’t gonna let me. She’s affecting my goddamn job here. I can’t fucking think ˈbout nothing but her now. Argh!
I push off the bar and scan the room, searching through person after person for any sign of Halle.
A light tap on my shoulder has me spinning ˈround.
Sarah’s standing behind me. Runner’s wife. He’s right next to her, holding their baby boy, Carter.
“Hey, sweetheart,” I greet her, real gentle.
Runner’s briefed all of us ˈbout his wife being afraid of aggressive men. I know that’s why he’s standing right next to her as she talks to me. Last time he saw me, I was beyond aggressive. But I ain’t gonna be that way with her, or no other woman neither. Well, except Hal. Fuck. I dunno what it is, but she just brings it out in me. She gets under my skin so much.
“Smiter, I was wondering if you know where Rox is?” Sarah asks, so politely that it stumps me for a few seconds. Ain’t used to polite and she catches me off guard with it every time. Cute little thing.
I smile with amusement at Runner and he grins back at me. He’s so happy with her, it’s unbelievable. Never seen him so content and peaceful before. “Yeah. She’s with Ax in his office,” I say, giving Sarah my full attention again. “Give ˈem a few minutes.”
“Is everything okay?” she asks, worriedly.
“More than okay,” I answer, giving Runner a look I know he’ll get right off the bat.
He taps her shoulder and leans in, whispering in her ear. I hear her gasp. And then she bursts out laughing. “Wow. Well, I guess she’s getting her birthday present now then.”
Runner laughs and pulls her into him. “How ˈbout I give you an honorary birthday present? My old room upstairs?”
“Zeb!” she hisses, looking awkwardly between him and me.
“Either of you know where Halle’s at?” I ask, cutting into their conversation and probably saving Runner an argument, cuz of his big mouth.
“She left,” Sarah tells me.
“She did? When?”
“Real recent,” Runner says. “Less than five minutes, I’d say.”
“All right. Thanks.”
I say goodbye, cuz I don’t wanna be a dick, even though all I can think ˈbout is what happened to make Halle leave? Was it me? Was it what I said to her? Yeah, I’d been hell-bent on making her leave, but I wanted to do it on good terms. Don’t want her upset with me. It’s already bad enough between us right now, cuz everything outta my mouth to her lately is fucking dickish. She deserves better.
I push outta the clubhouse and look for a couple of the boys to cover security while I’m gone.
***
I’m just two minutes from the clubhouse when taillights of a car parked off to the side of the road catch my eye. I slow down, as I close in, tryinˈ to get a better look through the dark.
A Mercedes.
Bright red.
Halle’s ride.
“What you thinking, woman?” I mutter to myself, as I pull up behind her.
It’s the middle of the fucking night and she’s pulled over on the side of an unlit, dirt road. She don’t got her hazards on.
I pull off my helmet, hang it off the handlebars, then dismount quick.
I walk up to the driver’s side and tap on the window with my knuckles, making sure to be gentle, cuz I got some heavy, chunky rings on my fingers that could scrape the glass if I use too much pressure. Hal’s protective of her car, so I’d be a marked man if I scratched it.
She screams at the top of her lungs and jumps forward in her seat, jerking her head my way.
I watch her slap her hand to her heart. She rolls down her window all the way and I lean in, resting my elbows on the ledge.
“Car trouble, sweetheart?”
“No.”
“For real, Hal?”
“There’s nothing to see here. Get back on your bike and head out to… wherever.”
Like hell. “Why’d you pull over then? Makeup?”
“Urgh. That was one time, Smiter.”
“Two.”
“Fine. Two. Leave me alone.” She reaches for the window button, but I bat her hand away. “Smiter,” she grumbles.
“Hal,” I say, sternly. “What’s wrong with the car? Ain’t leaving ˈtil you tell me.”
She glances at her phone in her hand. “It’s not a big deal. I’m just looking for a number and it’ll be fine.”
“What number?”
“A tow truck, or something. I don’t have the membership for that breakdown service anymore.”
“What? Why?”
“It’s too expensive. I’m trying to cut costs.” She murmurs to herself under her breath, “The car’s the next to go. I need something cheaper.”
Cutting costs? “What the hell’s going on, Hal? You in some shit, money wise?”
She scowls at me fiercely. “It’s not your business. And… no. I’m fine.”
“Real convincing.”
“Urgh. Just fucking go.”
I pull back from the window and command, “Open the door.”
“No.”
I try the handle and it ain’t locked. I haul open the door with disbelief. “Jesus Christ, Hal. Ain’t even locked? You’re pulled over on the side of a deserted road in the middle of the night. Didn’t lock the car. Don’t got your hazards on.”
“The regular lights are enough,” she bites back, switching off the engine and ripping the key free.
“Yeah, that ain’t true.”
She throws her hands out, tryinˈ to bat me away, as I lean over her and unbuckle her seatbelt. “Smiter, stop it! Get out of my car! I didn’t ask for your help. I don’t need it. Leave me!”
“Look, I’m helping you. Wanna do it the hard way? That’s fine by me, you stubborn fucking woman.” I pick her up in my arms, lifting her outta the car.
She fights me the whole time as I carry her ˈround to the bank by the passenger side. I shift her weight in my arms, holding her with just one as I haul open the passenger door and put her down inside.
I hear her grumbling when I walk back ˈround to the driver’s side and slide on in. I shift the seat back, cuz there ain’t no space for a big guy like me. I hold my hand out to her. “Key,” I order. She curses me and crushes it into my hand, making me hiss. “Bitch.”
“Yeah. Don’t you forget it.”
I don’t take the bait. Gotta focus on the task at hand. I shove the key into the ignition. Right away, I see the problem.
I slump back against the seat and turn my head towards her. “You’re kidding me, right?”
“I told you I’m trying to cut costs. That includes not filling up unnecessarily.”
“Great plan, Hal. You’re out of gas. It drops below half a tank, you f
ill up, yeah?”
What’s going on with her and all this cost-cutting stuff? No point me asking right now. She’s in a mood and she’s real mad at me. She ain’t gonna tell me nothing at the moment.
“All right. Get your purse and whatever else you need. Let’s go,” I tell her, pulling the key outta the ignition and handing it back to her. I switch on the hazards.
“What?”
“There’s a gas station ˈbout ten minutes down the road in Reirdon Falls. We’ll fill up a jerry can.”
“I don’t need your help,” she says, eyeing her phone. “I just need to call—”
“Who, Hal? Who? You tell me right now and I’ll walk away and get back on my bike.” Lies. No way would I leave her here in the middle of the night without gas.
I watch her stare at her phone, tryinˈ to figure it out. “I’ll search for a number. I don’t have one in my phonebook, but—”
I snatch her phone outta her hand. “Stop. Just get outta the car.”
“Smiter!”
“Thought you were tryinˈ to save money? You know how much a tow truck costs?”
That gets her moving. She snatches her purse up off the back seat. “Fine.”
I climb out, slamming the door behind me. She does the same and heads to my bike just behind her Mercedes.
She hesitates when she reaches it and stands there looking real awkward.
I know why. Better lighten the mood, or she ain’t gonna get on and we’re gonna be here all fucking night arguing ˈbout it. “Not the way I pictured it neither, Hal.”
She ain’t been on the back of my bike yet. I know it’s a big fantasy of hers. Wants me to fuck her on it, like she’s been dreaming ˈbout. Her whole biker fetish thing.
“Yeah,” she says with a little laugh.
Okay, good. It worked.
I open one of the saddlebags. “Purse,” I tell her. She hands it to me and stares, all curious, as I stow it inside.
Next, I grab her hips and place her on the back.
I settle onto the front and tell her, “Wrap your arms ˈ'round my waist. Don’t let go. Okay, sweetheart?”
“Mmm hmm,” she murmurs.
She shifts behind me, grumbling to herself. I look over my shoulder to see her struggling with her dress. It’s too tight. I reach ˈround and jerk it up her thighs, making her gasp as her panties are exposed. I swallow hard at the sight of the pink, silky things. Hot damn. I look away quick. “Slide a bit closer to me and nobody will see, Hal.”
“Okay,” she says, unsure. First time for everything. But this is all new to her, so I get that she’s nervous. Hell, I ain’t exactly on board with this neither. Ain’t had a woman on the back of my bike since Mia. Years ago. I force myself to focus on the task to stop ˈem memories from rising up and taking me over. Can’t be dealing with that. Ain’t never gonna. Pushing it down’s the only thing that don’t hurt.
“Smiter?” she calls, all quiet and un-Halle like.
“Sorry.” I snap outta my thoughts and rev up the bike. In the next second, we’re speeding down the road. I make a three-point turn and head back the way I came towards Reirdon Falls.
“You all right?” I call over my shoulder.
“Great!” she calls back in an excited voice.
“Wanna go faster?”
“Yeah!”
I give it some gas, hitting eighty miles an hour in seconds.
She shrieks happily. Her arms tighten ˈround me.
“Having fun back there, Hal?”
“So much! It’s amazing!”
I chuckle.
The next thing I know, she starts singing Born to Be Wild by Steppenwolf. Cliché, but it works. Never heard her sing before. She’s got a real nice voice. All sexy and raspy. Jesus. It’s turning me on. Not to mention her hot breath in my ear, her legs pressed against mine and her arms tight ˈround my chest. I forgot how hard it is to focus with a woman on the back of my bike. It takes all the concentration and control I got to focus on riding and not the sexiest woman alive wrapped ˈround me, singing her heart out.
We reach Reirdon Falls and the gas station right on the edge of town. I pull in and park the bike.
Her hands leave me as I get off. “Won’t be long. Wait here. You’re safe. This is Thorns’ town.”
Nobody’s gonna touch no woman on the back of my bike. I don’t know if Hal gets the message it’s sending. It’s saying she’s my property. Mine. I hope she don’t get it, cuz I’ll never hear the end of it.
I jog to the gas station building and head inside to pick up what we need.
***
We make it back to her car and I pull up behind it again.
I swing my leg over my bike and help Halle off. I get her purse outta the saddlebag and then hand her key and her phone back to her. “Get in, sweetheart, but don’t start the engine yet,” I tell her. “You mind opening the gas cap up for me?”
“On it,” she answers.
She don’t argue this time. Guess the ride knocked her earlier bitchiness right outta her. Don’t really blame her for it, though. Been a dick to her lately. I don’t even know why. I don’t like upsetting her, for fuck’s sake. That ain’t me. She just keeps getting my back up in a major way lately.
I get to work filling up her tank. It don’t take me long.
I walk ˈround to the driver’s side and knock gently on the window.
She opens it with a smile this time. “Thanks, Smiter. I really appreciate it.”
“No worries, sweetheart. Get going. I’ll follow on my bike.”
“Follow? Head back to the party. I’m good now.”
I grin at her. “After tonight, I can’t be taking your word for that now, can I?”
She grins back at me. “I know. But, really, I’m good now.”
“Still escorting you home, Hal.”
I see her ˈbout to argue, but something stops her. Instead, she sighs and gives me a nod. “Okay.”
I lean in and kiss her cheek, before heading back to my bike.
Chapter 8
~Halle~
I step into my condo and turn in the open doorway to Smiter. “Thanks for everything tonight.”
“It’s all good, Hal.”
Expecting him to head out, I’m really surprised when he doesn’t. Instead, he stands there, hesitating.
“Smiter?”
He shifts his weight, takes a moment, then tells me, “I’m sorry ˈbout what I said the other night when I came in drunk to Temptress. All of it, Hal. You know that ain’t me. I don’t talk to you like that. My head was messed with some other shit, but I know that ain’t even an excuse, so I’m just sorry. If I could take it back, I would.”
I appreciate him apologizing again, but it isn’t going to get us anywhere. He keeps shutting everything down. I’m at the point where being his booty call girl isn’t enough for me. I’m attached now. I’m emotionally involved, despite my greatest efforts. And that’s not what he wants. So, there’s nothing more to be said here. It’s over. “Smiter, look—”
“I didn’t mean none of it, Hal.”
What? “What are you saying?”
He scrubs his hand over his face. He’s struggling. “I’m saying… fuck. I can’t,” he mutters, bringing his clenched fist to his mouth and squeezing his eyes shut.
My heart sinks. For a second there, I thought—what did I think? Something ridiculous. I need to get a grip. “All right,” I say, calmly. I move to shut the door.
He startles me when he grabs at it, stopping me from closing it.
Slowly, his gaze meets mine, the look there so intense, it’s almost enough to scorch me. “I’m saying that you’re more than a fuck to me.”
Oh my God.
“Much more,” he adds.
“Okay,” I respond, warily.
“You were right. I am possessive of you. I’m protective. I’m jealous when I think ˈbout you being ˈround other men. I care ˈbout you.” He blows out a breath. “None of that is fuck buddy shit. It’s
boyfriend territory. It’s just… hard for me. I can’t just—”
“Smiter, it’s okay. You can’t be that. You can’t be with me in that way. I get it. We’ve had a good run. We’ve had a lot of fun. Let’s go out on that good note, okay? We’re on good terms again. I can make peace with that.”
“No,” he says, vehemently, stepping closer. “You ain’t hearing me right. Guess I ain’t being clear. I want to.” He steps up close, his hand sliding into my hair and doing that thing I like. His eyes lock with mine as he whispers, “I want you.”
“I—”
His mouth crushes mine, stealing away my words.
His left hand grasps my hip to steady me and his other fists in the back of my hair, using it as leverage, as he deepens the kiss and angles my head in that deliciously dominating way that I love. He eases us through the doorway and into my condo, kicking the door shut behind him.
I pull back, gasping, “Smiter, I don’t want—”
“I ain’t gonna leave.”
I smile at his perceptiveness. He gets that I’m worried about us slipping into our booty call ways. I don’t want this to be just another one of those. I’m still hesitant, though. With the way he’s been lately, I wouldn’t put it past him to change his mind, freak out, then take off.
But sometimes a risk needs to be taken.
Getting to this point has been so long coming, that I can’t shut it down. I have to see where it goes.
It has me nodding and telling him, “Okay.”
He lifts me into his arms then, cupping my ass, as he carries me through the condo, towards my bedroom.
“This dress has been doing a number on me all night.”
HEARTLESS Page 5
