by Jody Klaire
I pushed off the wall to straighten up. “If the deputy principal got better taste than you, what can I say?” I gave her, what I hoped, was an arrogant grin.
Frei’s eyes twinkled with unspilled laughter but Renee looked like she was gonna skew me any second. “Maybe he doesn’t realize how unavailable you are.”
Her blunt tone drove home the insult. Frei’s eyes hardened.
I stood there staring at her. That was way beyond cover. I’d told her stuff in my sessions back in Serenity. I’d told her, feeling vulnerable doing so.
I felt stupid for admitting it. I didn’t know if I could feel the way normal people did. I didn’t know if I was just picking up on what everyone around me felt. It made me feel stupid, inadequate, and made me feel three inches tall.
Anger rumbled up from below. She’d said some mean things but that was by far the worst. It hurt that she had said it. It hurt that she’d even thought it.
“Bite me.”
I stormed off, ignoring her shocked look, ignoring her attempt to grab for me.
Frei’s words not to give up on her rolled around in my mind.
Why did Renee have to be so mean? Why did she say stuff like that? Why was she so intent on pushing me away? What was the deal with her being such a jerk?
I stomped into the gym and over to the weights. She was being a massive jerk and I hadn’t done nothing to provoke it. I’d been a kicking post for most of my life but I weren’t gonna be no more.
For her, or anybody.
URSULA STOOD IN the shade of the porch, trying to control her temper. She had a very good idea why Renee just spewed so much venom. Ursula’s withdrawal to the side would have vindicated Renee’s ridiculous thought pattern.
This was madness.
Renee was getting more and more erratic not calmer and it all kept adding up as evidence that Ursula should have medically retired Renee after St. Jude’s.
She’d lost the ability to separate herself from duty and right now she had lost all sense of logic and reason.
“Are you going to try that with me too?” Her tone was cold, flat, and bored but she knew her temper would show through her eyes.
Renee was too busy staring after Aeron.
That’s right, drive her off, you idiot.
“Keeping your job may be difficult should you alienate the boss’s pet.” She hoped Renee would still remember that she was a CIG agent.
“Doubt you would be safe if the boss saw you digging your claws into her.”
There was jealousy, then there was insanity. Ursula would ignore them both, for now.
“I’d say that Samson’s actions would make anyone proud.”
Renee met her eyes but Ursula remained still, impassive, unmoved, at least on the outside.
“Paying for a girl’s medical bills in spite of the fact she knew her all of five seconds, I would say any boss would stand by her.”
Renee’s eyes widened. “She did what?”
“I failed.” Ursula’s voice was still calm and level. She slammed down the feelings bubbling to the surface. “She broke her neck.”
“Then why didn’t she just . . .” Renee shoved her hands in her pant suit pockets. “Do her thing.”
What did Renee think she was, a slot machine?
“Didn’t you see what happened to her the last time?” She blew out a breath. “Didn’t it drill some sense into that hard head of yours?”
“It doesn’t happen every time.”
Ursula pushed off the wall. “You’re an idiot.”
Renee’s eyes narrowed. “Oh, I am? Why? Because I’m not reveling in a return to my criminal past?”
Renee one-oh-one. When cornered, make everybody else feel like crap. “At least one of us remembers who we are.”
“Should I be checking my handbag?”
Rage ignited. Ursula slammed Renee against the pillar. Renee’s eyes widened. She had no idea just how strong Ursula could be when pushed.
Long, slow breaths. Ursula shut her eyes, trying to calm herself. She had to be the better person. She had to be the one to back off.
“I have work to do. I suggest you do the same.”
She let go and turned back to the building. It was worrying how her temper had flared. Worrying that Renee had wanted to push her buttons.
“That’s it, walk away, you’re good at that.”
Ursula shut her eyes as she held the door handle. Renee was acting like a jealous, spoiled brat. She was no better than the hormone addled kids all around them.
She’d been as reasonable back then, before she wandered off into Yannick’s clutches. Hardheaded, immature, and spoiled. Ursula felt her jaw clench.
“Get back to work, professor, before you find yourself looking for another job.” Her tone oozed the command and she knew Renee’s inbuilt reaction would be to obey.
If there was an agent still lurking under the chaos of hormones.
Ursula didn’t look back but strolled inside past the students still deep in their routine. She walked into her office and threw the sticks from the popsicles in the trash.
She was more irritated at herself than Renee. Irritated that Renee was being so clouded by . . . something . . . that she couldn’t see the truth anymore. Didn’t any of the things they’d been through tell Renee anything? What was her deal?
What was she jealous of anyway?
Ursula running off with Aeron?
It was nonsensical.
Was she that blind? Even if she did feel anything for Aeron in such a way, which was crazy, did Renee think she’d be that cunning, that cold?
What kind of a callous snake did Renee think she was?
Ursula slumped down into her seat. She shut her eyes, breathing through the hurt, the frustration. Emotions complicated things.
Emotional reactions were unprofessional.
She was the boss. She had to be better than that.
And . . . she’d slammed Renee up against a pillar.
“Not clever. Not freaking clever.” She shook her head at herself and pulled out her cell phone.
Renee was worried that she would “steal” Aeron’s affection. Why the stubborn pig-headed woman couldn’t see that Aeron had enough affection to go around, she didn’t know.
Ursula sighed, the lingering pulses of anger still thudded through her fingertips.
Renee was worried about stealing. Ursula tapped the call button and closed her eyes. Nice to know how much Renee thought of her.
Chapter 28
I PUSHED MYSELF hard in the gym even though it wasn’t a clever thing to do, but I was so pent-up. Renee hadn’t bothered to follow me and I was thankful because I didn’t know how I could look at her right now. So I pushed and pumped until sweat was dribbling from me and my legs felt like Jell-O.
What was her problem?
I would never say something about the things so personal to her so why did she launch something like that at me?
How could she go from the hero I’d known back in Oppidum to the nasty piece of work she’d been outside?
I pushed, pumped, and sweated, one rep after the other until calm came with exhaustion.
Renee was too hard to figure out. I half wished I could forget I’d ever met her but I knew that was the hurt. I knew that was a defense mechanism.
She made my head ache.
I hauled myself up and headed toward the villa.
Owens rounded the corner with a scowl on her face. I heaved out a breath.
“Riley, what did you say to Roberta?” she barked at me like I should be scared of her.
She ain’t Roberta, idiot.
I looked up to the heavens. Today’s meditation had been the line, “You lead me beside still waters, you refresh my soul.” I tried focusing on it to find some sense of calm. If I didn’t I’d flatten Owens and then Jäger would have another excuse to visit.
I tried to picture calmness. Breathe in and out like I did for the exercises. A funny image of Frei’s group doing “grasshop
per” yoga pinged into my mind.
“She had a problem with Locks.” I breathed in calmness, out with stress, grasshopper yoga, Mrs. Stein doing grasshopper yoga.
Ooh, no, not a nice thought. No Mrs. Stein. Frei and the mini-thieves.
“I lost my temper when she got all high and mighty that Locks’ kid got hurt.” My voice sounded serene even when I wasn’t.
“Roberta said that?” Owens looked surprised. She glanced back to the block she and Renee taught from. She didn’t know the first thing about the woman she was defending.
“Yeah. Threw an insult or two at me.” An odd sense of calm drifted over me. I was thankful it was working. “You want to be her puppy dog. Fine.” I cracked my back out and groaned with relief. “Look before you leap. Some folks are shallower than they appear.”
Owens frowned. Her shirt stuck to her in the heat, she had mini-muscles. In fact my wrist looked bigger than them. Her high cheekbones were rosy in the sun. “What is that meant to mean?”
“She’s a prickly pain in the butt and if she pushes me, you don’t want to be in my way.”
Owens put her hand on the back of her neck. Her watch caught my eye.
Rolex. The Rolex I’d seen in my vision.
Panic thumped into life.
Miranda and Kevin. That Rolex.
Owens was in the right place. She taught them both with Renee. Was that why she was sucking up to her?
“Prickly?”
I tried to keep my breathing slow and steady. Did Renee know she was being hustled? “Yeah, you not noticed the violent temper?”
Violent, really violent but if Owens laid a hand on her Renee would be the least of her worries. As if by command, Renee strode toward us.
I weren’t up for another fight but I had to let her know, somehow, that Owens weren’t genuine.
“There a problem here?” she snapped, not even looking at me.
“Yeah. I got issue with Owens. Her watch is ugly.” It was a long shot that Renee would follow my drift but I had to try. “It’s a horrible vision.”
POI, I thought, hoping that our freaky connection still existed. She is after the POIs.
Renee’s eyes flickered.
She scowled and the odd flashed words, you’re just jealous, flickered in my head. “It’s a nice watch. Perhaps, unlike you, Nikki has more taste . . . and class.”
Ouch. Nice to know that Ivy League snobs stuck together. “Either way, it would be dumb to get fooled. It ain’t even genuine.”
Owens frowned up at me. “It certainly well is.”
“About as genuine as your dental work.” I glared back and stepped toward her. “FYI it’s garish.”
“What would you know?” Renee’s stance was protective toward Owens.
The sudden sadness hit me and I sighed. I was done with this. I was done with the hassle. “I got something way better than some paid-for social graces.”
“What’s that, Samson?” Renee shot as I walked away.
I turned and lowered my guard, letting the pain show. “A heart,” I whispered as my voice cracked. “A broken one.”
FREI WAS WAITING for me as I stomped inside. Her icy blue eyes were filled with concern. There was something about them that stuck out, in a good way. Folks in magazines with a lot of gizmos to help had eyes like hers.
“Are you okay?” Her first question when I got home was always how I was.
She wanted to listen, she cared.
“I feel like I just had my insides ripped out.” My chin wobbled and I sucked in the air with a shudder. I needed to forget mean people and focus on my task. We had kids to get out of there. “Owens is going to abduct Kevin and Miranda.”
Frei raised her white blonde eyebrows. I wasn’t quite sure if it was because I was stood staring at her, if I looked set to dissolve into tears any second, or my nugget of information.
“She’s a jerk, Aeron. Let her cool off.” Frei pulled a carton of ice cream and a spoon from behind her back. “Might help with the hurt.”
“Doubt it. Not unless I can throw it at her.” I rubbed a trembling hand over my face. “She’s being fooled, again, and she’s oblivious.”
I shook my head at how blind she was being. “I told her Owens was after the POIs and she told me I was jealous . . .” I huffed out a breath. “Jealous of what?”
I wandered over to the sofa and slumped down. “Then, she got nasty. Like Sam did. I can’t figure out why I made her hate me so bad.”
“You haven’t done anything.” Frei sat in her chair and held out the spoon and carton. “Her issues go deeper than you. You’re close to her. Maybe she didn’t know about Owens.” She blew out her own breath. “Renee’s ego is a force to be reckoned with.”
So I’d stuck her nose out of joint by doing my job. “How so?” I took the ice cream and spoon with a mumbled, “Thanks.”
Frei relaxed back in her chair. I noticed she too had a carton of ice cream and spoon on her side table. “Renee is a product of an elitist upbringing. She was spoiled. The daughter of a national hero who had looks, brains, and charm.” Frei smiled, a wry smile. “She’s matured a lot, her heart is good.” She shoved her spoon in her carton. “Sometimes she’s still a snobby smart-ass.”
“Sounds like she was a pain when you met her.” I shoveled a spoonful of ice cream into my mouth. Groaning, I relaxed back into the sofa.
Cookie flavor.
Frei chuckled. “Let’s just say that I once told her the POI she was protecting was the Unsub. She was convinced Lilia had seen this POI. She saw facts, figures, in simple black and white.” Frei let out a groan of delight herself. “I was just a two-bit thief who wasn’t worth listening to.”
“But?” I opened my eyes.
Frei stared into her carton. “She was lucky I got her out.”
I leaned forward. “But I thought you said that she rescued you?”
Frei nodded. “She did. I found that the annoying, stuck-up blonde who kept irritating me had wriggled her way inside. It was illuminating to realize I actually cared about someone. She’s still like an annoying younger sister.”
It was a fair summary of Renee. When she got something in her hard head, it was like pulling teeth to dislodge it. She made mules look like pushovers.
“Either way, with that nasty temper of hers, she ain’t gonna listen to reason.” I took in another taste of delicious cookie goodness. “That means Owens could hurt her and the kids.”
“She might be compromised . . . might . . . but don’t count her out.” Frei munched away, the ice cream starting to get the same treatment as the popsicles. “She might just be digging for information and be angry we think she hasn’t learned.”
I waved my spoon in the air. “She said she never wined or dined nobody for information.”
Frei’s lips spread into a slow smile, then she chuckled. “She does a far better job. She crawls inside their affections and can get the truth out of anyone.”
“Ain’t that the same thing?”
Frei tilted her head from side to side as she thought about it. “One is quicker but Renee’s way is a lot more productive . . . and dangerous. Yannick being a case in point.” She sighed. “People get far more deeply hurt by her methods.”
“Like me.” I savored each bite of the creamy cold yumminess. It did make me feel a little better, not much, but a little.
“No, whatever is going on in her head, Aeron,” Frei drew me to look at her, “she cares about you.” Her gaze intensified. “She’s just a hard woman to love sometimes.”
“Forget love,” I muttered. “I’m finding it hard to like her right now.”
Frei tapped her carton with her spoon. “Then eat more ice cream.”
I did as told. “This how you cope with her grumpiness?”
Frei shrugged. “That . . . and other stuff.” She concentrated on eating too much. She knew I was waiting for an elaboration on “other stuff,” but she kept on eating.
“She was mad at you too, wasn’t she?�
�� I wasn’t the only one eating ice cream. “You couldn’t have stopped that girl getting hurt. You’re doing your best.”
Shock twinkled away in her eyes. “She was . . . she is . . . mad at me. It is my fault. I will feel responsible no matter what anyone says.”
“I get that. Product of caring,” I managed around a mouthful. “If you weren’t here trying, these kids wouldn’t stand a chance. Quit beating yourself up.”
She raised her eyebrows.
I nodded. “Yeah that’s an order . . . or . . .”
Frei raised her eyebrows higher.
“Or I’ll mess your hair up.”
Her smile vanished. “That’s mean.”
I chuckled around a spoonful. “My middle name here, don’t you forget it.”
Frei licked her spoon and threw it back into the carton. It sounded empty. “I’m a terrible friend.”
That curveball had me dangling my spoon from my mouth with a “huh?”
Had I fallen asleep and missed something?
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me. Don’t rate me too much.” She placed the empty carton on the side table.
“Too late.” I finished my own ice cream, quite sad that there was no more cookie to make me feel better. “I rate you up with the best.”
“You shouldn’t.” Her voice was quiet as she stared at the floor. “I’m just—”
“I take you as I see you, remember?” I could feel something swirling in her mood. I couldn’t see her aura but I could feel it for some reason. “What’s past is past. Don’t make me feel like I ain’t worth your time and we’ll be just fine.”
“Noted.” She glanced at the refrigerator. “We should eat dinner.”
“Guess so.”
Frei chuckled at my sad tone. “What do you feel like?” She stretched out and got to her feet. “You’re staying put before you start. You need fluids and food. Don’t think I don’t know you took out your anger on the benches.”
I did feel a bit spaced out. Maybe she was right. Frei wandered to the fridge and handed a bottle of water over the counter to me. “I vote salad, quick and healthy.”
I pulled a face, which made her smirk and put her ice cold hands from the bottle on the side of my neck. I yelped and she laughed a laugh that sounded like it had come from deep in her stomach.
