"I hate you so fucking much sometimes." I ran my hands over my chest and turned to press my back to the cold wall as the image of me and Val having fun turned into us going back to her place.
Her smile was brilliant, beautiful, intriguing. The soft laugh that kept leaving her showed just how nervous she was. I wanted to be easy with her, but something inside of me wouldn't relent.
I could almost feel the softness of her skin as I reached out and slid my hands under the edge of her sweater, splaying my fingers along her stomach and around her waist.
"Fuck me," she whispered.
"Yeah," I mumbled and moved up close to her, leaning down and pressing my lips to the side of her neck. I sucked softly as she worked on my jeans with a franticness that drove a stake of desire deep inside the center of me. "Nice and slow, Valentine."
She lifted to her toes and pressed her lips to mine, and I could see in her eyes the neediness that I had seen the first night we'd met. She needed me, and I wasn't going to deny her again.
Her cries were intense as I pressed myself to her and gave in to the need to watch her come over and over before I got mine. I rarely felt the need to give myself over to a woman, but somewhere in my fantasy, I found myself willing to offer up anything in that bed to give her pleasure.
"I love you," she whispered as her fingers dug into my back painfully.
My heart constricted in my chest.
I buried my face against the side of her neck as I gripped her ass and continued to drive into her. My fears were recognized in that moment. I wanted her body, her lust, her desire, but I knew within no time, I would want her heart.
I gripped myself tightly, standing there in the shower, and worked to bring myself to the edge of orgasm as I let my hand be her body, working me hard and slow. My panting got louder as I closed my eyes tight and hit my head against the shower wall.
I cried out hard as I came and felt my knees go weak. Anger replaced lust as I turned and pressed my chest to the cold tile.
She should have been in my arms for the night, even if it was nothing more than a nice petting session. She wanted me with her, but I had tucked tail and run.
A growl left me as the image of us tangled around one another seared through my mind's eye. We could study at the library the next day under the pretense of friends, but I'd make the mistake of pulling us toward that, and now it would have to be me who brought us back out of it.
Chapter 15
Val
I had no clue what to think about Tate and try as I might to force my thoughts to stay away from him, they just wouldn't. I lay in my bed forever that night, trying to figure out if I'd done something wrong or if his denial was more about him and less about me. The same old part of me that always felt inadequate and not good enough reared up throughout the night, but I just couldn't fathom it being my fault this time.
His text had been more shocking than being friend-zoned, but the man was just full of surprises.
I woke up earlier than usual the next morning and changed into a pair of jogging pants and a sweater. I wanted to run the indoor track and shoot some hoops before going up to the library. The girl's locker room on campus had a killer shower area, anyway.
I stopped by the kitchen, a little surprised to see some of the girls up so early on a Saturday morning.
They were laughing about something Carolyn said, and I shouldn't have been eavesdropping, but I couldn't help myself. I stepped back into the hall and crossed my arms over my chest.
"Yeah, I'm not sure why Kade is interested in her. She's not going to date him. He's like a fucking replica of Paul," Carolyn laughed loudly.
"He's incredibly hot. If Val's not interested in him, then I am,” Mary, one of my least favorite girls in the house, responded.
"She's interested in that biker guy you were hitting on last night," Kathy spoke up. "They would be good together. She needs a guy that doesn't care about her family and all their high and mighty bullshit. She's nothing like them."
Carolyn snorted. "Exactly. That's why her life will forever be miserable. She's going to have to marry someone like Paul and shut up about it or leave her legacy. Poor little thing."
Kathy responded, "Carolyn, watch it. You're just jealous."
"Yeah, you are," Mary laughed softly.
I made some noise and walked into the kitchen as if oblivious to the three of them being up.
"Oh, hey guys." I grabbed a banana from the counter and fixed myself a mug of coffee as they stood in an awkward silence. "Did I interrupt something?"
"Nope." Carolyn walked to the table and sat down.
"Who was the guy last night? The one with all the tats that you left with?" Kathy moved up beside me at the kitchen counter as a smile spread across her freckled face.
"Tate? Just a guy I met the other day. He's a good guy, from what I can tell. Martin helped him get onto the swim team, so he should be around more at some of our parties." I shrugged, trying hard to keep things casual.
"Good. He's fucking hot." Carolyn's tone was less than pleasant, but what else was new.
"Yeah, he is." I picked up my bag and walked to the door. "See you guys later."
"Wait," Mary called out to me. "Are you and he dating?"
"Nope. Just friends." I waved and walked out into the freezing weather. After taking a deep breath, I moved languidly toward the gym. I couldn't wait for the next year to be over so that I could start looking for an apartment and getting excited about life after college.
Most of the girls in the house were rich bitches, much like Carolyn. Where they all were against the idea of any of us Gammas hurting the other, they were still greedy as hell and self-serving. All of them except Katelyn.
She'd pledged with me just to not leave me alone in the middle of the bullshit when we were freshman. I'd thanked her enough times over the years that she was well aware she was damn-near the only reason I'd survived so long in the Gamma house.
I picked up my walk to a jog and made it to the gym a few minutes later. After putting my stuff up, I walked to the indoor track and smiled as a familiar guy was running on the far side of the track.
Kade waved as he jogged toward me. "You're stalking me, aren't you? Just admit it."
"Yep." I moved up beside him, easily keeping pace. "I figure sleeping with you is going to be the only way I'm going to get an A in my business law class."
His eyes widened a little, but he was just playing with me. "We should get this tutoring session on the calendar, for sure."
"Naw, I'm going to hook you up with my friend Amy. She seems to think you're something special." I tugged my ponytail tighter as my heart fluttered in my chest. If I could set Amy up with Kade, the girl would be ecstatic. The thought of making my friend’s day, or more like her year, left me wanting to try anything to get it done.
"Oh, yeah? Amy's cute, for sure." He started to run a little harder. "This is my fast round, so pick it up or I'll catch you on the next round."
"You're on." I pushed hard and took off, pulling in front of him easily. We raced around the track three times before stopping near the front door and leaning against it.
"Damn...you're fast." He reached toward me and tugged at a strand of my hair as the door opened from the boys’ locker room.
I swatted his hand away and laughed. "You're just slow. Most quarterbacks are."
"This is true." He lifted his hands to the air and stretched back and forth. "So Amy, huh? You're not interested?"
"Nope. You told me that you were worse than Paul. Give me a break." I glanced over to see Tate walking toward the natatorium. He glanced back at me, and I waved, unable to help myself.
"I was teasing. I'm a great guy. Always on the up and up." Kade followed my line of sight before touching the side of my arm. "Come out with me sometime."
"No, but thanks for the offer. Think about taking Amy out, seriously. She's your girl. I promise." I turned and jogged toward Tate as my eyes moved across the strong muscles of his back.
His swim trunks fit him beautifully, and I couldn't help but admire how well his tattoos encircled his arms and decorated his back.
"Hi." I moved up beside him and tried to catch my breath.
The look on his handsome face said that he wasn't too happy. "That your boyfriend?"
"What?" I glanced back to find Kade watching us. "No. He's the TA for my business law class. I don't have a boyfriend."
"Right. I'll see you at the library after while." He gave me a tight smile and walked toward the pool, leaving me standing there.
I waited until the door closed behind him to let out a long breath. "Right. Remind me why I try again."
Kade was gone when I turned back around, and it was probably for the best. I was honestly considering taking him up on getting out of there. I'd spend the whole damn time talking about Amy, but at least I would be with someone who wanted to be with me, too.
I ran around the track for twenty minutes before walking to the basketball courts. The place was dark and empty, which was just the way I liked it. After grabbing a couple of balls from the hallway closet, I started to work different drills.
I lost track of time, and didn't realize someone was watching me until one of the balls rolled over toward him. Tate was standing against the wall with his hands behind his back and a smirk on his face.
"You're good. I've heard that you're a big shit on the courts, but I wasn't sure what to believe." He moved toward me, his expression much more relaxed.
"I love the game, nothing else." I hated that my defenses were up, but it was his damn fault that they were.
"Let's play, then." He lifted his hands, and I chucked the ball at him, maybe a little harder than I should have.
"I thought you were pissy over something. The swim help your mood?" I moved into place as he dribbled slowly, keeping his eyes locked on mine.
"I was pissy because of that guy you were talking to, but it was just jealousy. I can't help it." He moved toward the basket, and I turned just in time to steal the ball from underneath him.
I spun on my heel and shot, making the basket with little effort. "We're just friends, remember? No reason to be jealous. Friends don't get to do that."
"And, what if I've rethought what I want?" He caught the ball as I chucked it at him before he came at me again, duping me this time and scoring.
"Good for you. I'm not one to be rejected and then run toward those same people in hopes of a different outcome. My whole life has been about rejection. Friends is far safer for us, obviously." I took my turn with the ball, moving toward the basket until he stepped up behind me and spread his arms wide. The firm press of his chest against my back made my body ache and my nipples tighten.
"I'm not so sure I agree with that." He reached around and tried to slap the ball from my hands.
"Street ball with no rules?" I chuckled and bumped my butt into him as he groaned and clamped his hands down on my hips.
"How about a working friendship with no rules?" he whispered against my hair as I continued to press backward toward the goal.
"Not interested in friends with benefits." I turned and lifted to my toes, ignoring the hot stare he pressed against me. "Yes!"
The shot landed perfectly, but he grabbed me by the wrist before I could move away from him.
"I made a mistake last night, okay? I've paid for it, I promise. I've been beating myself up all fucking night and half the morning." He loosened his grip on me. "Come study with me, and then let's get something to eat."
"Maybe." I tugged from his hold and walked to get the ball. "Why are you beating yourself up? If you're not interested in me, then you're not interested. I promise I'm more hassle than I'm worth."
I shot again and made it. All of the horrible emotions that plagued me when I was with my mother or around the Gammas started to resurface, and I had a moment of wondering if I was ever going to find anyone who simply accepted me for just being me.
"I doubt you're much trouble." He stole the ball and moved to shoot – missing, but just barely.
"You've no clue what you're talking about." I picked up the ball and moved to stand beside him. "You're not finishing the follow through. Watch me shoot."
"Show me, master." He crossed his arms over his chest and gave me a cheeky grin.
"I almost like that title coming from you. Now, watch my wrist as I finish the shot." I continued to coach him and make him try a few more times. Much to his surprise, and my pleasure, he got it down.
"I gotta go take a shower." I picked up the balls and walked with him back down the hall.
"Need someone to wash your back for you?" He lifted his eyebrows playfully.
"No, playboy, but I'll meet you in the library." I turned and slipped into the girl's locker room, ignoring his grumbling about the unfairness of life.
I was obviously going to have to roll with the punches with this guy, seeing that there was very little consistency with his actions around me.
Good thing he was sexy as sin and had a sweetheart side that would melt the hardest of hearts.
*
"You clean up well," Tate commented when glanced up from a pile of books as I took the seat next to him.
"Thanks. I have a chemistry exam coming up next week that's going to kick my ass. I need at least an hour and then we can get something to eat, if you're still up for it." I pulled out my books, trying to ignore how good he looked sitting there beside me.
"I love science and math. Let me know if I can help at all." He pulled his book toward him, but continued to watch me.
"Thanks." I popped in one of my earbuds and flipped to the section I was supposed to have memorized already. It was going to be impossible to study with him staring at me. I glanced over at him and lifted my eyebrow. "What?"
"Nothing. Just admiring you. Is that alright?" He reached over and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ears.
"Nope. Study and leave me be. We're just friends, remember?" I winked before glancing back down at my book.
"About that..."
"Hey, it's okay. I'm good with friends. I think I just thought something else was starting to happen, but it was just me being stupid." I shrugged, but didn't look up at him.
"There is something else happening, but I think taking it slow would be smart. You don't even know me, Val."
"Yeah, and you think you know me, but you haven't the slightest clue who I am." I looked up at him, loving the intensity of his stare. "I'm not my father."
"I know. I'm sorry I assumed that." He leaned over and touched my face, pulling me closer as his lips brushed by mine. "Forgive me."
I pushed into the kiss, not thinking about anything other than memorizing the way my chest lit on fire with nothing more than his touch. I'd been infatuated with a few guys in my time, but never had I felt so overwhelmed with the desire to know someone.
His tongue pressed deep into my mouth, and I turned my head, opening up for him and groaning softly at the sensation of having him take ownership of our kiss. His fingers tightened just a little before sliding down to cup my neck while he continued to explore my mouth. His deep breathing left me panting right alongside him, and I could think of nothing but getting out of the library or finding a private reference room.
He finally broke the kiss and sat back, his eyes glossy and chest lifting and falling quickly.
"Wow. And, I almost fucked that up last night. See? This is why I was kicking myself." He chuckled and pulled my chair closer to him before wrapping an arm around the back of my shoulder and pulling the book to rest in front of us. "Let's get this done and get the fuck out of here. I've wanted to kiss you since the first night I met you. It was even better than I thought it would be. I want more."
"So greedy." I moved up toward the table and hoped it wouldn't be too obvious that I was hungry for far more of his time, his attention, and his kisses.
Just knowing I might get it left me panting far beyond what was called for from our simple kiss.
Chapter 16
Fuck, the kiss was so far beyond anything I imagined it to be. Her lips were soft, her tongue wet and tasting like mints. A million things went through my mind as I sat beside her and tried to focus on the words on the page in front of me. My idea of taking things slow flew out the window, and I couldn't stop trying to figure out how to turn our lunch date into a long afternoon of tasting every inch of her. She didn't seem like the kind of girl who would jump in the sack with me, but after that kiss, I knew she was starting to feel the pressure of wanting more than what we'd experienced thus far.
I was impressed by how quickly she caught on once we got into the rhythm of working together on her chemistry stuff.
She closed the book and smiled at me in a way that had my body reacting, yet again.
"Thanks for today. I wasn't sure if you were going to get the boot this morning when you snubbed me again at the track or not. I'm glad you didn't." She stood up and chuckled.
My eyes moved up the line of her body, enjoying the way her hair hung around her shoulders and framed her beautiful face.
"Me, too. I swear I must be PMSing. I'm not usually so damn emotional." I stood up and checked my phone before walking down the long stairs in front of the library toward my bike. "I'm driving, if you're okay with a bit of wind."
"A bit? It's freezing out here." She gave me a look before pointing across the street. "Let's just grab a sandwich at Barney's. It's close and delicious."
"Alright. That works." I shoved my hands into my pockets in hopes of not reaching out and taking her hand like I owned her. Doing so at the party was appropriate, but not now. "So, if you're nothing like your dad, then are you like your mother?"
"Ha!" She rolled her eyes and let out a long sigh. "God, I hope not. My mother leaves everyone feeling suicidal. The woman has a way of making sure no one in the room looks, feels, or is better than her."
Valentine (A Standalone Novel) (Bad Boy Romance Book) Page 11
