She frowned. “Why?”
“Who’s buying the groceries? If he’s rented a house or a cabin at a resort or a hotel room, whose name is it under?”
“The PI?” she suggested.
“His name hasn’t popped up. Neither has your father-in-law’s or Josh Griffen’s. Which doesn’t mean Josh isn’t in the area, or that Robert can’t come back. I’ve asked for help from neighboring jurisdictions, but they may not be looking as hard as I am. And, for all we know, Tim could be camping out in the woods, or in a vacant house on a dead-end road.”
“I can’t stay here for too much longer. It’s a huge imposition.”
“Have you gotten the feeling you’re not welcome?” Daniel asked.
Rebecca sighed. “No, of course not. Actually, I think Barbara is enjoying having someone to talk to. Your uncle, well, he isn’t very chatty.”
He laughed, low and rusty. “I’ve noticed.”
She pulled back a little to look up at him. “Do you have electricity at home?”
“I do. I got spoiled. And, yes, I even have a television.”
Rebecca chuckled. “And tablet and smartphone. You’re a thoroughly modern man.”
“In some ways.” He sobered. “I watch baseball and occasionally football. Sometimes the news. I can go days or even weeks without turning the TV on. I use the internet primarily for work-related research. Most people would find my house...bare.”
Rebecca squeezed his hand. “In other words, the man may leave the Amish, but he still carries the beliefs wherever he goes?”
“And where did I go?” He made a sound in his throat. “Home, but not quite. Ambivalence in action.”
“But you do what you couldn’t as a boy,” she said thoughtfully. “You keep the people you love safe.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
THE NIGHT SEEMED darker as Rebecca waited for Daniel to say something. Anything.
Tim had hated her attempts to get him to talk about his feelings. He’d accused her of trying to pry him open like a tin can, determined to find out if the contents matched the label. Maybe she was just nosy, and his desire to keep a big part of himself locked down completely natural.
Even in the dark, she felt Daniel’s eyes boring into hers. Suddenly, he made an inarticulate sound, and then his arms were tight around her and he was kissing her. She felt his anger and desperation along with passion, and she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him back with equal ferocity. Maybe because she was still angry, too. And afraid.
Moments into the kiss, he groaned and gripped her around the waist, lifting her as if she weighed nothing and setting her sideways on his thighs. Then he went back to kissing her with passionate single-mindedness. One of his hands kneaded her hip. The other cupped her breast, gently squeezing and exploring. She arched to press her breast more firmly into the hand that knew just how to touch her.
His mouth left hers to string kisses over her cheek, to nip her earlobe, taste her throat. Daniel growled when he reached the high neckline of her modest dress, then returned to her mouth. She could have gone on kissing him forever, except she ached for more and began to squirm on his lap. She wanted his hand under her skirt, sliding up. She wanted—
Daniel wrenched his mouth from hers and groaned again. She felt the vibration in his chest. More than that—his hands were shaking. She was shaking. For a moment he didn’t move except to rest his forehead against hers. Removing his hand from her breast seemed to pain him.
“I want you,” he said raggedly. “But we can’t—”
“No.” But she wasn’t sure she’d have had the self-control to stop. Imagine the scene if Amos had come looking for her! “I told them I wouldn’t be gone long.”
“I’m sorry.” He rubbed his nose against hers. “I shouldn’t have started that. I didn’t mean to.”
“It was me being pushy.”
“It was you reading me as if—” He stopped suddenly.
She was afraid to ask him to finish. Asking him to bare himself to her just because she felt so vulnerable wasn’t reasonable. Because his job was to protect her, he had to hear about her problems. She didn’t have an equal right, even if she wanted that right.
Daniel stayed silent until his chest lifted and fell with another long sigh. Somehow she wasn’t surprised when he said, “You should get back inside.”
Unreasonable hurt had Rebecca pulling free and jumping to her feet.
But Daniel stood, too, so close she could feel his body heat. His breath was a whisper against her cheek. “This is dangerous,” he murmured. “Meeting in the dark, alone.”
“You don’t have to come.” It hurt to say. “If you have something to tell me, you could leave a note. I can check here every morning.”
He pressed a hard kiss to her mouth. “I need to see you.”
The hurt dissolved. “Oh. Then...”
“Tomorrow night.” He made a sound deep in his throat. “Maybe it’s lucky you’re dressed plain. Between your kapp and that dress, I’m forced to remember our circumstances.”
“I wish...”
“I wish, too.” His knuckles brushed her injured cheek with aching tenderness. “Go, Rebecca.”
Head bobbing, she turned away. She felt sure that he watched until she slipped inside the house and he knew she was safe.
* * *
DANIEL’S DAY STARTED with a call from Little Ike Mast.
A man had visited the Mast father-and-son horse farm, but hadn’t seemed very interested in the draft horses. He claimed to have heard good things about Samuel Graber’s operation, but also that Samuel was too busy right now with his niece visiting to seem interested in selling horses.
Not part of the Grabers’ church district, Little Ike knew only that Samuel’s place had been ransacked. That made him wonder about someone more interested in Samuel’s family than in the horses he had claimed he wanted to see. “The bishop said I should call to tell you.”
Little Ike hadn’t liked the Englischer. No, not a tall man, but strong, with dark hair and eyes. Not very friendly.
Josh Griffen? “What did you say to this Englischer?” Daniel asked.
“That I didn’t know what he was talking about. Visitors? How would I know?”
Whoever these men were, they were taking risks, letting themselves be seen. Daniel thought about checking in with Estevez, but the information didn’t really add to what they knew, and he expected to hear from the detective soon, anyway.
In fact, that call came a couple hours later.
“Finally got clearance for the trip and have a reservation for Saturday morning.”
They discussed logistics, then Daniel told him about the apparent hunt for Rebecca and her son.
“If the stupid woman had just come to me in the first place...” Estevez sounded as if he was grinding his teeth.
“She might be dead.”
Silence. Then he said, “You know I should slap her with every charge I can think up. She’s wasted so much of my goddamn time.”
“I’d be happier if you didn’t,” Daniel said mildly.
“You’re kidding.”
“No. I do believe Ms. Holt has suffered remorse even as she believed the items were the only way to hold off her ex-husband and his partner. I have the impression it’s the father-in-law most of all that had her panicking. Having met the guy, I can understand.”
“You met him?” Estevez asked, surprised.
“Oh, yeah. He marched into the sheriff’s department headquarters yesterday and demanded I hand over his grandson. All but disowned his son. Didn’t care what Tim was up to, or that he’d battered Ms. Holt. When I inquired whether he had any paperwork showing legal custody, Mr. Gregory assured me that the minute he had his grandson back in the state of California, he’d go to co
urt to get that custody. Didn’t seem to have any doubt of his success.”
The San Francisco detective snorted. “Guy’s an asshole. He’s almost enough to make me sorry for his son.”
“I don’t know about Tim, but the grandson is a great kid,” Daniel remarked. “Funny, smart, sensitive.” Well, he’d agreed that he didn’t want a siren to frighten the horses. That qualified, didn’t it? “Got to say, the idea of him in Robert’s hands gives me a chill.”
“Thus your sympathy for the kid’s mother.”
“I suppose so.” And, by the way, I’m falling for her. Have fallen. Not something he intended to share. “Like she told you, if she’d immediately gone to you with the wallet, you’d have arrested Tim. But you wouldn’t have had enough to arrest Griffen, too, unless Tim rolled on him. And either or both of the men would have been out on bail within twenty-four hours. Meantime, the custody issue was still on the table, slowing Ms. Holt’s divorce, and Robert was maneuvering in the background.”
More silence, followed by a huff that combined frustration with acceptance. “I may get pushback from my boss and from the DA.”
“Introduce them to her father-in-law.”
Estevez gave a bark of laughter. “There’s an idea.”
“How did he get to be so influential?” Daniel asked.
“Money, what else?”
“Inherited, or did he earn it?”
“A little of both, from what I know. Sounds like he’s smart enough.” The admission was grudging. “There are a couple of software powerhouses that wouldn’t have gotten their starts without him. Face it, money trumps personality.”
Daniel’s turn to laugh. “Can’t say I’d know. I wouldn’t call anybody in Henness County rich.” Although he’d tangled with a few like that when he worked in St. Louis.
“Count yourself lucky.” The detective sounded sardonic. “Means you don’t have to tiptoe during an investigation the way the rest of us do.”
Did Estevez know how to tiptoe? He might have gotten further with Rebecca if he’d approached her with some finesse.
This mess made Daniel grateful that the crimes he typically saw were straightforward with easy-to-understand motives. He frequently pitied the people he arrested, like the Shaver brothers. What could have led Tim Gregory and Josh Griffen, successful by anyone’s standards, already wealthy in their early thirties, to kill a friend and partner—or at least to cover up his death? Daniel would never understand the greed behind that kind of embezzlement.
Daniel ended the call with a tap of his thumb and then leaned back in his desk chair, looking at the clock. Counting the hours until Rebecca would slip around the corner of the barn and into his arms.
* * *
THAT EVENING, REBECCA resolved to be airlich—honest—with her hosts, although she prayed they wouldn’t make an attempt to forbid her from going out to meet with Daniel. Out of gratitude for their kindness and generosity, she would comply with most requests from them, but not that one. If they were shocked and disapproving, staying with them would be tense. But she had to see Daniel.
When she told them Daniel intended to sneak onto the property this evening to talk to her, Amos and Barbara looked at each other. After a moment of silent communication, Amos nodded brusquely and didn’t ask how Daniel had set up this meeting with her in the first place.
“We would not like a daughter meeting a man in the dark, but it is not our place to tell you what you can do. And I can see why he doesn’t want anyone to see him come here.”
“Thank you. I won’t be long. I wish I thought he would have good news.”
“Ja, it would be good if he could find that man,” Barbara agreed.
The moment Rebecca stepped out, she felt the muggy air. The latest promised thunderstorm had bypassed them, nothing but distant rumbles late in the afternoon. She walked straight to the barn, not surprised to find Daniel there before her. He reached for her hand first thing. “I told Amos and Barbara I was meeting you,” she heard herself say. Self-defense—or was it defense against self? A reminder that her time was limited and her hosts knew she was with Daniel?
“And they didn’t lay down the law?” Daniel sounded surprised, even though he had been the one to suggest she be honest with Amos and Barbara.
“No. They weren’t thrilled, but Amos said he had no right to tell me what to do.”
“I can hear the whiff of disapproval.”
Her forehead wrinkled. “No, he also said he understood you can’t come here openly.”
“Estevez will be here Saturday.”
Her heart gave a single, unhappy kick. “Oh, joy.”
“I think he’s more bark than bite.”
“Right.”
Daniel smiled at her sarcasm. “I’ll come to the back door tomorrow night so I can talk to Amos about how to sneak you to town for the meet. Not sure a big city detective would enjoy beating his way through the fields and woods to come here.”
She clasped her hands together. “Okay.”
“Little Ike Mast called to say a man who was more interested in Samuel Graber’s visitors than his horses showed up asking questions. He pretended complete ignorance.” Daniel hesitated. “His description of the man could match with Josh.”
“Doesn’t Detective Estevez know where Josh is?” Wonderful—she sounded semi-hysterical.
“He doesn’t have grounds at this point to watch the guy. Josh may do some traveling as part of his work. And remember, Robert, Josh and Tim can all afford to fly with private charters, which makes tracking them harder. I’m surprised Robert flew commercial, now that I think about it.”
“Will this ever end?”
“Hey. Come here.” He held out an arm that closed around her when she slid closer. “You know we’ll get them eventually.”
He was asking for another form of faith from her. Faith in law enforcement, in justice and in him. It was still a struggle for her, but she finally nodded.
“Last night,” he said suddenly. “I shut down on you. It’s uncomfortable to feel clear as glass.”
She turned within his encircling arm to look at him. “I’m sorry. I was nosy.”
“Curious,” he corrected. “Curious is good.”
That let her relax. “You aren’t easy to read. It’s me. I think... I’ve felt pulled both ways, too. Not as strongly as you, I’m sure, but...my mother tried to instill her values in me. I never connected my stays here with home life. I didn’t know why the television was rarely on in our house, why we played games in the evening or talked or cooked instead. Why she was never comfortable chatting on the phone. After the summers here, I tried to be like all my friends, and I guess I succeeded, in a way.” A smile twisted on her mouth. “I’d see Mom’s disappointment. And then there was my choice of Tim.”
“You’ve felt some culture clash, too.”
Rebecca nodded against his shoulder.
When he asked, she talked about growing up, and her brief rebellious stage when she’d cut her hair spiky short and dyed it various neon colors. She wondered what he would have thought of her if they had met while he was still an earnest Amish boy—or even later, when he was struggling free of the cocoon of his faith and family.
“Mom never forbade me to do anything,” Rebecca said softly. “She wanted...”
“You to have a freedom she didn’t?”
“I suppose that’s it. She told me so many times how proud she was of me.” In his embrace, her grief found solace.
* * *
DANIEL HAD HAD guarded conversations with others who had left the faith. He’d discussed the difficult transition before. But most of the people he’d met had craved a different life, some looking back with contempt that felt too much like how many non-Amish reacted. He had always wondered if they really felt no regret. He’d neve
r heard anyone acknowledging the inner conflict he felt every day of his life. But Rebecca made it easy for him to start talking.
“I sometimes think I’m like an immigrant to this country. Someone who knows he’ll never be able to go back, but will never feel quite at home here, either.”
She pulled away from him at that raw honesty so she could lay a hand on his cheek. “To the Amish, you may be a...a bridge.”
He grunted. “Nice thought, but they’re determined to stay apart from the world. You know that. They don’t want a bridge.”
“That may be where some of the tension comes from. But they do trust you, and they know if they have to cross over, the bridge is solid.”
Daniel expelled a breath as if he’d been punched. He had never thought of his relationship with his family and the Amish community that way. If it was true...
He didn’t like to think about his first few years after leaving all that was familiar, but when Rebecca asked more questions, memories spilled out. He’d hated feeling so stupid, stumbling when everyone else ran. Too much had been new, shocking and frightening, and he had existed in an adrenaline-fueled state that had probably shortened his lifespan.
He’d lived on the street until the weather grew too cold, then in a homeless shelter, before finding work, mindless and physical. The pay had been enough to rent a room. A social worker at the homeless shelter had steered him to educational resources, and he had begun studying for his GED.
As he continued talking, he realized he and Rebecca were still holding hands. Comfort and connection.
He told her about the classes he’d taken at a community college that helped him pass the GED, and how he’d continued on until he had a two-year degree. Scholarships and a nearly full-time work schedule had gotten him through the final two years at the University of Missouri—St. Louis.
Even then, he had been ill prepared for the realities of policing a major city with crimes that once would have been unimaginable to him.
He talked until he was hoarse, giving no thought to whether Amos would come to check on them. When he finally fell silent, he gathered Rebecca into his arms and just held her, soaking in this closeness to another person.
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