Mary regained consciousness an hour later and took water from the matron which she drank greedily, asking for more in a hoarse whisper affected by her cut and swollen lips. She was still groggy and not fully possessed of her wits, unsure where she was and with both her eyes closed unable to see the woman who nursed her.
Mary was awakened by someone shaking her roughly and then she heard the cackle of Potbottom’s voice, ‘Wake her, matron, she has slumbered enough! Wake her at once, this be no inn for gentlefolks!’
Mary attempted to open her eyes and while the right eye still remained tightly closed the left had improved somewhat and she could see with a measure of clarity. Potbottom sat beside her bunk, perched on a stool with his hands clasped to his breast. He seemed to be positively shaking with excitement. One hand suddenly jerked out and a finger prodded into the side of Mary’s ribs. A sharp pain shot into her lungs where the ribs had been broken. Potbottom’s hand shot back to be clasped again by the other in their former position. ‘Wake up! Wake up at once! Say somethin’!’
‘Mornin" Mary said through her cracked and bulbous lips, and then added, ‘Miszer Pobothum, sir,’ in a voice slurred and hardly above a whisper.
‘That’s better, much better, you’ll soon be well again, me dear.’ He dry-soaped his hands. ‘Well enough for bread ‘n water and a bit o’ loverly solitude in the coal hole!’ he cackled. ‘Guilty o’ startin’ a riot we is.’ He clucked his tongue several times. ‘Now that be most wicked. Mr Smiles don’t like that, no he don’t, indeed we don’t tolerate no riot on Gawd’s ship.’
Mary groaned and lifted the hand which was still fisted shut and Tiberias Potbottom gasped and reeled back, thinking she might hit him, though she barely had strength sufficient to lift her arm. ‘No!’ Mary rasped and tried to lift and shake her head. But the pain of it was too much to bear, and she winced and her head fell back and her hand fell limply by her side.
‘No, says you! Yes, says I! Startin’ a riot, now that be a most serious offence what will earn a floggin’ if I be not mistaken. Surgeon-superintendent don’t like that, no he don’t, I’ll vouch for that, not like it, not one little bit!’
Mary tried once again to move her head. ‘No!’ she managed again. She was suddenly aware of a strange sound and at the same time the vessel shuddered and then rolled slightly. ‘Wind?’ Mary whispered.
‘Oh yes, wind! Glorious wind! Gawd’s breath is back with us, Mary Habacus!’ Tiberias Potbottom said triumphantly then pushed his ugly little monkey face close to Mary’s. ‘Gawd is not mocked!’ he said, spraying her face with his fierce spittle. ‘You have been punished and He has restored His precious breath to us!’
Tears ran from Mary’s swollen eyes and she drew blood as she bit her top lip in an attempt to stop them. She did not want to show her physical pain, nor her confusion and agony of mind to the creature perched on the stool beside her.
‘What’s this then?’ Potbottom asked suddenly.
Mary made no attempt to look, thinking him to be making comment over her distress. Instead she kept her lumpy eyes closed fighting back the tears that threatened to grow into a desperate sobbing. They were stupid tears, tears that showed Potbottom that he’d won, that he’d broken her spirit, tears for the past and the present and the future, tears that washed over her awful life.
‘What be this I’m holdin’, eh!’ Potbottom asked again, and this time his demanding impatient tone caused Mary to open her one good eye. Tiberias Pot-bottom held up a prisoner’s purse. ‘Never know what you’ll find when you looks, does you, me dear?’
Mary’s hand went instinctively to her cunny but she knew before she reached it that her prisoner’s purse was no longer hidden there. The brass tube Tiberias Pot-bottom held contained her fifteen sovereigns and Ikey’s precious Waterloo medallion and chain and Mary began to sob uncontrollably.
‘Shall we see what we’s got, then?’ Potbottom said gleefully. His small hands twisted the brass cap, removed and upended it, tapping it into the centre of his palm. ‘Very curious,’ he said, ‘it don’t have nothin’ in it!’ He tapped the tube once more in the same manner then held it with the open end facing Mary. Potbottom raised his dark, bushy eyebrows, his tiny black eyes shining. ‘A pleasurin’ device is it? A poor convict woman’s comfort for the dark lonely nights at sea?’ Potbottom shook his head and clucked his tongue several times. ‘I don’t think Mr Smiles will take kindly to such a device. Not kindly at all!’ He replaced the cap and, leaning over Mary, he placed the small metal tube on her chest. As he did so, Ikey’s medallion fell from within his linen shirt and dangled on its chain directly above Mary’s breasts. Then, without a further glance at the hapless, sobbing Mary, he scuttled out of the hospital, leaving her to contemplate the loss of everything she possessed in the world.
Mary had secretly dared to hope that her life might change, that despite the hell of Van Diemen’s Land she would survive and that something good, no matter how small, might come of it. Now she knew that she had been deluding herself all her life, in truth, the flame of her existence had been blown out the very moment she had been born. As she lay in the prison hospital Mary craved emptiness, to feel nothing, to walk upon the earth as a shadow until death came as yet another misadventure upon her senseless life. Her past filled her up, taking possession of every corner of her soul to make her life a dark, repugnant experience. Where others might have craved Christian salvation, Mary asked only for emptiness, for all feeling to be taken from her. She wanted neither God nor the devil, but what lay between. Without feeling, she told herself, she could continue to exist; with it, she wanted only to die.
Soon her tears dried up. They were pointless. To cry was to mourn and to mourn was to care and caring was what had always destroyed her. She cursed her mouth and its ability to find trouble; others knew their place and remained silent with their heads bowed in obsequious obedience. It was her big mouth which had destroyed her life. If she could empty out all that had happened to her, she would grow silent forever, not be seen or heard, or be there at all, her lips frozen forever.
But instead of emptiness, as Mary lay perfectly still, there grew slowly within her a great anger and then through the anger came pain, a sharp throbbing in her left hand. She tried to ignore it, but it was too alive and demanding, and soon the pain within the centre of her hand burned as though it were a fire kindled there, a furnace of white heat expanding and filling her, roaring at the very centre of her being. She could no longer ignore it. Mary lifted her hand to within the line of her vision and perceived for the first time that it was held tightly in a claw-like grip, its dark twisted fingers resembling, not a human hand, but an ugly, twisted knot. Within the knot a searing, leaping, roaring flame called out to her for revenge.
Mary attempted to open her hand but the fingers would not respond to her will and the pain caused by the effort brought her close to fainting. But she persisted, and after several minutes, her stiffened and contorted fingers broke loose sufficiently to reveal within them the small knotted rag bundle containing her brass talons. Mary started to weep again, but this time with a sense of great relief, for she knew instinctively that she would recover, and that the odious little monkey creature had not broken her spirit. She knew that the hatred in her would restore her health, though to be God’s or the devil’s child she knew not, and cared even less.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Mary’s punishment was not completed with her beating and admission to hospital. A week after being released she was paraded on the prisoners’ deck and charged with causing a riot within the prison. This was too grave an offence for Tiberias Potbottom to resolve by the usual proxy of his prayerful master, and Joshua Smiles himself was required to preside. With a charge of inciting a riot, the safety of the ship had been placed in jeopardy and the ship’s master and those officers not on duty were required to be in attendance.
A muster of all the prisoners was called mid-morning with Mary standing with her head erect before the pale and mou
rnful Smiles. The surgeon-superintendent, as was his usual habit, was dressed completely in black. This colour included both his blouse and neckerchief and a top hat of unusual height. The total effect gave him the appearance of being perhaps on stilts. He towered over the remainder of the prisoners, matrons, guards and even the tallest of the ship’s officers present, and Mary was seen to come not much above the waist of his frock coat.
In a tone incurious to the consequence of his words he read out the charges against Mary and then, without raising his voice or heightening the inflections placed upon his words, he pronounced sentence. It was a noticeable contradiction to the blandness of his voice that throughout his reading the surgeon-superintendent, on no single occasion looked up or at the prisoner, and his hands shook as though in a tremor as they held the paper from which he read.
‘. . .Mary Abacus, I, Joshua Jeremiah Smiles, under the authority given to me by the Admiralty and further, under the provisions of the Home Department and in the name of His Majesty King George IV, sentence you to twenty-five strokes of the lash to be administered at one time. Whereupon you shall have your hair shaved and be placed in solitary confinement within the coal hole and shall remain there for one week, this to exclude the Sabbath. During this time you shall be given bread and water as your only sustenance. I further order that the sentence be carried out immediately by Mr Tiberias Potbottom and that all prisoners and those who be in charge of them, and therefore under my authority, shall bear witness to these proceedings.’
There was a gasp from the prisoners, for even the whores felt great remorse at what they’d done to Mary.
‘Ya bloody bastard!’ a voice shouted from the centre of the crowd.
‘Who said that?’ Tiberias Potbottom called out, jumping up and down to try to see into the lines of assembled women.
‘I did, ya fuckin’ ape!’ Ann Gower called as two guards moved into the crowd of suddenly thronging and excited women and grabbed her. ‘You murderers!’ she shouted again as she was pulled away and led from the deck. ‘May ya rot in ‘ell!’ A guard struck her on the side of the head with his truncheon, so that she fell to her knees and was dragged down the hatchway.
Mary was placed over an empty barrel, her arms and legs held by the wrists and ankles, each limb by a separate male prison guard. The matron of the hospital, who had so recently nursed her back to health, was then required to fully expose her back. Mary was given a small square of folded cloth to place between her teeth.
The sky above was brilliant blue with no cloud to interrupt its surface, a storm having come up during the night so that the ocean and the sky seemed to shine in a world washed clean. The ship sailed steadily at eight knots to a breeze from the south-west, its prow cutting majestically through the waves. Even the sun, though warm, was not torturous, the breeze cooling the deck where Mary lay sprawled over a barrel in preparation for ‘the Botany Bay dozen’ - that is, twenty-five strokes of the lash. Potbottom stood over her wielding the dreaded cat. He was so tiny that the lash, with its three knotted leather straps attached to a wooden handle, seemed too big in his hand.
That he should have been allocated such a task was unusual in the extreme. Had such a need befallen a male convict ship there would have been some person skilled in the use of the whip. But flogging was exceptionally rare on female convict ships, and no such expert existed on the Destiny II.
While Potbottom gleefully held on to the whip handle with both hands, he was not himself sure quite how it should be used for maximum effect, so he slapped it down upon the deck at his feet to get the hang and angle of its correct use.
Meanwhile Joshua Smiles produced from the pockets of his top coat the two small knee cushions, ‘Jesus’ and ‘Saves’, which he had carefully strapped to his legs so that the two words embroidered in red against a white canvas background might be clearly seen by all. With his back turned to Mary and his eyes fastened upon the topgallant sail, he kneeled upon the deck, having first respectfully removed his top hat and placed it beside him.
Potbottom, the awkward whip in hand, observing the surgeon-superintendent to clasp his hands in prayer and then, no doubt by pre-arrangement, to briefly nod, brought the lash up above his shoulders and hard down upon Mary’s back.
‘Oh merciful God forgive this poor wretch her transgressions,’ Joshua Smiles loudly intoned, his voice directed upwards at the topgallant sail.
He paused after delivering this single sentiment, then once more nodded. Whereupon Potbottom again wielded the lash.
‘Oh Lord Jesus may she repent her sins and accept your merciful forgiveness!’
Pause, nod and Potbottom’s lash came down a third time. Thin welts like the beginnings of a spider’s web now began to rise on Mary’s back.
Thus the prayers, the nods and the whipping continued until the twenty-five strokes were completed. Mary’s back was now bleeding profusely and covered with ugly welts, much to the satisfaction of Potbottom.
Many of the convict women were weeping as Mary was lifted to her feet and the gag removed from her lips. Sobbing and sniffing, both her eyes still ringed purple from the beating she’d taken, her clawed and withered hands clasped to her trembling breast, Mary was in all appearance a most forlorn and heart-rending sight.
Witnessing her misery and dejection the convicts increased the volume of their weeping. Mary was pushed back on to her knees and the prison matron stepped up to her and commenced to crop Mary’s hair close to her scalp. The soft, pale hair fell to the deck, where a sudden zephyr blew it about and then carried it out to sea.
When this initial cropping was completed a bowl of soapy water was produced by one of the prison assistants, who proceeded to lather the hair remaining on Mary’s head. The matron then exchanged her scissors for a cut-throat razor and shaved Mary’s head, the uncaring blade removing the crusted scabs where her hair had been previously yanked out from her scalp, so that the blood, turned pink with the foamy lather, ran down Mary’s face and neck.
The howling of the convict women increased in intensity and, while prison guards drew closer with their truncheons at the ready, Potbottom jumped and skipped beside them, bringing the lash down upon the deck as a gleeful warning to any who would promote a further mischief.
Mary was taken to the hospital and made to wash. Her uniform was stripped from her and she was given an old and tattered garment to wear. It had been washed soft, ready to be used as a rag, and so brought some comfort to her burning back. When her bloodstained uniform was returned to the mess a quarrel broke out among the whores, each of whom wanted to wash and repair it. Mary was then taken to the coal hole, the darkest and gloomiest part of the ship, where she was locked up with the supply of coal used in the vessel’s kitchens.
There is nothing as destructive to the mind as complete darkness and silence. If there be a hell then eternal fire would come but a poor second to an eternity filled with complete solitude, for humans are gregarious creatures, in the main, and not designed to be alone. Soon the will to live breaks down and the mind ceases to see things rational and coherent; instead, nightmares grow out of a darkness populated with beasts and demons and hob-goblins with sharpened teeth and long treacherous claws.
It was most fortunate therefore that a prison guard, bringing Mary’s ration of water and ship’s biscuit, took pity on her and agreed to bring her abacus to her. Had it not been for this, the week spent in the coal hole might well have robbed Mary of her sanity. In the pitch darkness she would work the beads until her fingers were raw. Her mind grew to memorise the numbers of red and black upon the wire rails, and she spent hours making the most bizarre calculations to keep her mental condition sharp. She knew the height and width and circumference of the dome of St Paul’s, and worked out the number of bricks it would have taken to build it. She knew the width and the length of the Mall and estimated the size of a single cobblestone, whereupon she worked out the number of these contained in the entirety of this regal way. It was with this kind of foolishness tha
t she remained fully possessed of her wits in the darkness and silence of the dreadful hole into which she had been cast.
Sometimes Mary’s hands became too painful and she was forced to leave her abacus alone. When she did so, her mind became filled with the spectre of Tiberias Pot-bottom, who now possessed her luck.
Mary was philosophical about the fifteen gold sovereigns he had stolen from her, but this was not the case with the medal. Potbottom’s wearing of Ikey’s talisman was an abomination. The usurping of her future luck was not a robbery but a snatching of her very soul. The legend inscribed upon it, ‘I shall never surrender’, was a determination she now regarded as endowed to her along with the luck it possessed. Mary told herself that without this talisman, her life upon the Fatal Shore was most surely doomed. She had convinced herself that without the determination it engendered and the luck it brought as a consequence she would be helpless. It also concerned her that in wearing the medal, Potbottom’s own determination, the very power and potency of his evil, was greatly enhanced.
Mary truly believed that what had befallen her on board ship was simply a continuation of her previous life. The Destiny II was still in her mind English territory, thus resulting in English circumstance. The luck Ikey’s talisman contained was hers for a foreign land and remained Ikey’s until she reached her destination. Lying in the darkness of the coal hole, Mary became obsessed with the urgency of retrieving the medal, for while Potbottom wore it about his neck, Ikey, wherever he might be, went unprotected. Furthermore, if she arrived in Hobart without the blessing of the golden charm, she would have no reason to live, her dreadful fate having been already sealed.
Mary had a naturally observant nature and now as she lay in the dark she tried to think of all the daily movements of Potbottom about the ship. She earnestly contemplated his habits, those small things which appeared consistent in his daily routine. Alas, she found that, in contrast to his master, he was most gregarious, seldom alone or still for one minute at a time and not at all consistent. At muster, in the hospital or during bloody pusover he was always amidst a group and the centre of attention. Into this daily routine Mary silently followed Potbottom in her mind, but never could she discover a time when he was on his own.
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