“You’re saying it’s my fault you boys are still single?” His mother sounded outraged and hurt.
He steepled his fingers in thought. He wanted to tell her there was no blame involved, no fault, but he couldn’t lie. “You and Dad gave us a great family life.”
“And this is a bad thing? Bad enough to make you steer clear of marriage and family?”
He shook his head. “But you were devastated when he died. It was almost as if life stopped. You … you lived in pain—”
“That eventually dimmed,” she reminded him. “I wouldn’t have traded one minute with your father. Not even if it meant I wouldn’t have suffered or grieved. If you don’t feel pain, you haven’t really lived,” she said softly.
He’d already realized he hadn’t been living—when he’d connected with Charlotte this weekend. And as his mother spoke, he realized why. In an effort not to repeat the painful grieving process he’d seen his mother go through, Roman had opted to run, to travel, keeping his distance—from the town, his family, and Charlotte. Charlotte, the one woman who he’d always known, or at least sensed, could tie him to Yorkshire Falls and keep him here.
The one woman who had the power to hurt him, to make him feel the very pain he feared, should she die or leave him in any way. But his one night with her proved he couldn’t live without her either.
She was worth any risk.
“I’ve lived and I’ve loved. Not everyone can say the same. I’ve been lucky,” his mother said.
A wry smile twisted Roman’s lips. “You could have been luckier.”
A combination of sadness and happiness, of obvious memories, settled in her eyes. “I won’t lie. Of course I’d rather we’d have grown old and raised you boys together, but then I wouldn’t have this chance with Eric.” Her concerned gaze met his. “You’re sure you aren’t upset about that?”
“I think he’s good for you. Nothing about that upsets me.”
She smiled. “You do realize you can’t run away from life forever.”
He wasn’t surprised she’d read his thoughts. His mother had always been perceptive. He’d inherited the trait that had helped shape his career, but it was a pain in the ass when used against him. And it was that perceptiveness which left him too open to seeing and feeling his mother’s hurt.
“Well, I suppose you can keep running, but think about how much you’d be missing.” She patted his hand in the motherly gesture he knew so well. “And you’re too smart to continue on with something that’s an escape and not a solution. So, having said all that, where does Charlotte fit into your life now? And don’t tell me she doesn’t.”
She’d returned to her mission. “You know me better than to think I’d tell,” Roman said.
She raised her gaze toward the heavens. “Girls. Why couldn’t God have given me one girl with my boys, so I could understand what just one of you were thinking?”
“Come on, Mom. You know you like to be kept guessing. It keeps you young.”
“I’d rather drink from the Fountain of Youth,” she muttered. “Speaking of girls, you told me you were going to visit an old friend who’d moved to Albany last night, but Samson tells me he saw Charlotte leaving in your car.”
“For a man who’s the town recluse, he’s too full of information.” Roman wondered who else had seen them leave. Not that it mattered. He intended to make an honest woman out of her, no harm to her reputation involved. Unless marrying a Chandler who had a rumored fetish for women’s panties was a problem.
As amazing as it seemed, even to him, he was ready to make a commitment now—one that offered more than he’d envisioned after losing the coin toss. But before he approached Charlotte with the idea, he needed to convince her that he could and would make a good father and husband, that he wanted more than a long-distance marriage of convenience. Exactly how much more, how much he was willing to sacrifice in his career, his travel, he still had to think through. He had commitments, people relying on him, and a real enjoyment of his job he didn’t want to lose when this leave of absence was through.
But his goal now was personal. His mother’s grandchildren would be the by-product of that goal, but not the reason for Roman’s marriage. He felt light-headed and dizzy, much like the day of his first AP assignment.
“You could have told me you were going away with Charlotte,” his mother said, interrupting his thoughts.
“And have you questioning the poor woman? I figured I’d spare her.”
An amused gleam lit her gaze. “Well, I can still do that despite your intent to keep me in the dark. But I won’t. She has enough on her hands now.”
His inner alarm went off. If Alice had been crazy enough to crawl into his bed, who knows what else was going on in this town? “Why’s that? Another panty theft?”
His mother shook her head. “No, and Rick’s plenty annoyed that no one got you off the hook last night, that much I can tell you. Not that the police consider you a suspect, but with Alice and the ladies in town still in an uproar—”
“Mom, what’s wrong with Charlotte?” He interrupted her rambling.
“Sorry. I got carried away.” She flushed.
He didn’t like the sound of her voice or the frown on her lips. “What’s going on?”
She sighed. “Russell Bronson’s back in town.”
Roman muttered a curse.
“Behave yourself,” his mother said, but the sympathetic look on her face told him she understood just why he was upset.
The timing of Charlotte’s father’s return couldn’t be worse. Just because Roman had come to terms with himself, his past, and his future didn’t mean Charlotte had. He’d been struggling with himself from the moment he’d come back to town and lost the coin toss. Despite his attempts to stay away, Charlotte was the only woman he wanted in his life. The only woman he wanted to sleep with, the only one to have his children.
Originally he’d made that choice due to losing the coin toss. It’d been a selfish, unemotional decision because he’d still been running. Still thinking of himself more than Charlotte, no matter how much he’d attempted to convince himself otherwise. He’d had a need. She’d been the one he’d chosen to fill it. So simple. So stupid. She deserved so much more—a man who loved her, who’d be there for her, and who would give her the family life she’d been denied as a child. Roman wanted to be the man to provide her with all those things. But she’d never believe him, especially not now.
Raina rested her chin on one hand. “Do you have a plan?”
If he did, he wouldn’t share it with his mother. But as things stood now, his mind was as blank as his laptop screen on a bad day.
“Well, I suggest you come up with something,” she said in the wake of his silence.
He shot his mother an annoyed look. “That much I already figured out. But unless Russell’s not the scum of the earth the town thinks he is, I’m in trouble.”
“I don’t know what Russell is.” His mother shrugged. “He’s been gone too long. You’re the reporter, you ferret out the facts. Just remember, there are three sides to every story: his, hers, and the truth.”
Roman nodded. He just hoped the truth was enough to secure their future.
Charlotte floated into work Monday morning, light on her feet and happier than she’d been in ages. For as long as the euphoria lasted, she intended to enjoy it and not dissect all the reasons why she shouldn’t get too used to Roman or his attention. He’d asked her to keep an open mind and he made her feel too good to argue. He made her think anything was possible after all. Even them. She shocked herself with her new, enlightened attitude, but he’d given her no reason to doubt him.
“I smell coffee,” Beth said, coming out of the back room.
“You smell chai tea. Norman hasn’t progressed to iced lattes, but he has gotten this tea in and it’s delicious. Hot, cold, doesn’t matter. I went for hot today. Here, taste.” Charlotte handed Beth her own cup. “It’s very sweet,” she warned Beth in case she was
expecting a more bitter taste.
Beth took an experimental sip. Her eyes opened wide. “It’s like a mix of honey and vanilla. Yum.”
“It’s originally from India. First time I had it was in New York last year.”
“I don’t even want to know calorie count.”
Charlotte shook her head. “Me neither, but this is pure indulgence and I refuse to do anything but enjoy.” A motto she seemed to have adopted since reuniting with Roman. “I’ll just eat a light salad for lunch.” Charlotte closed her eyes and inhaled the fragrant spiced tea before drinking some more. “Mmm.” She drew out the sound.
“Uh-oh.” Beth’s voice disturbed her satisfaction.
Charlotte opened her eyes and met her friend’s knowing grin. “Uh-oh, what?”
“I recognize that look, that sound. It’s pure rapture. Ecstasy.”
“So?” Charlotte shook her head. “I told you I love this stuff.”
“Your cheeks are flushed and you’re sounding practically orgasmic. Don’t tell me it’s all about tea.”
“What else could it be about?”
Beth settled herself into a chair across from Charlotte’s cluttered desk. “What else could it be, she asks. As if I wouldn’t find out you and Roman were both out of town Saturday night. Coincidence? I think not.” Beth tapped her fingers on a stack of invoices. “You see, Rick and I spent Saturday night hanging out. We played darts with my most recent picture of the good doctor as the target—”
“Did he call?”
Beth’s eyes filled with tears. “I called him and when he rushed me off, I called back and ended things—and you’re interrupting.” She abruptly changed the subject.
Charlotte recognized the avoidance technique but couldn’t remain silent. “You ended it?” She rushed around her desk to hug her friend. “I know it couldn’t have been easy for you.”
“No choice.” Beth shook her head, obviously choked up.
Charlotte stepped back and sat on the corner of her desk, dangling her legs off the side. Now that she knew to look, she realized Beth no longer wore the sparkling diamond on her left hand. “And he just let you break up with him?”
“I think he was relieved.”
“The schmuck.”
Beth laughed, but tears filled her eyes. “Well, I agree, but I’m the one with the bigger problem, you know? I let myself get involved. I never looked deep enough or admitted this was a tendency he had.” She shivered. “Let’s change the subject, okay?”
Charlotte nodded. She didn’t want to add to her friend’s pain.
Beth leaned forward, resting her elbows on the arms of the chair. “So let’s get back to my original point.”
“Which was?”
“You, and how those flushed cheeks and sounds of pleasure have nothing to do with the chai tea.” Charlotte rolled her eyes, but Beth ignored her.
Leave it to Beth to turn the tables and put Charlotte in the hot seat. She held up both hands in front of her. “I take the Fifth.” Anything involving herself and Roman was too personal to discuss. Even with Beth.
“Aha!” She sat upright in her seat.
Charlotte narrowed her gaze. “What?”
“Taking the Fifth means you have something to protect. Something private.” Interest sparkled in the depth of Beth’s eyes as she leaned forward. “Come on, fill me in. You had more than a date, right? Please let me revel in your good news. I have so little of my own.”
Though Charlotte felt badly about Beth’s current problems, she also recognized when she was being played, and Beth did it well. “How about this?” Charlotte offered as a compromise. “When I have news, I promise to share. Right now all I have is … hope.” Hope she held close to her heart, too afraid to let it into daylight for fear her dreams would be just that—and she’d be left alone, like her mother.
She met her friend’s concerned gaze. “If I had something to tell, you’d be the only person I’d talk to.” She leaned forward and squeezed Beth’s hand. “That’s a promise.”
Beth exhaled hard. “I know. I just hate being the only one revealing all her problems and weaknesses.”
“You are not weak. You’re human.”
Beth shrugged. “Let’s drink up.” She raised her Styrofoam cup. “Cheers.”
“Cheers.” Charlotte finished her now lukewarm tea in a few satisfying sips. “So. Do you mind tending shop today? I’m going to hole up in my apartment and knit.”
“Oooh, sounds exciting.”
“Not really.” She laughed. “But the money that’ll come in when we deliver the finished goods is definitely worth the hours of television watching I’ll have to endure.”
Beth rose. “Better you than me.”
“I’ll meet up with you at the Little League game later, okay?” Charlotte’s Attic had sponsored a team and Charlotte tried to get out and cheer the kids on as often as possible. Though the season was barely under way, they’d already played twice and were going into tonight’s game with a winning record. She thought of them as her team and was proud of every hit and catch made.
Beth shrugged. “Why not? It’s not like I have anything more exciting to do.”
“Gee, thanks,” Charlotte said wryly.
“Actually, I’m serious. Watching the game beats an evening of solitaire.”
Charlotte tossed her empty cup into the garbage can. “Sad as it is, the game is the highlight of my day too.” Unless Roman stopped by. You will be seeing me, he’d said, and her stomach twisted in coiled knots of anticipation. She couldn’t wait.
“My heart bleeds for you.” Beth eyed her with a complete lack of pity.
Charlotte laughed, “Yeah, yeah. Just bring dinner, because after a day of hard work, I’ll be starving.” By agreement, Charlotte and Beth alternated supplying food. Last week they’d frozen over fried chicken, and with the temperature dropping, tonight would be no different. “Don’t forget your jacket.”
“Yes, Mom.”
At Beth’s words, an odd flutter took up residence in her chest. Maybe it was her biological clock that caused the accompanying lump in her throat because it certainly couldn’t be a sudden desire for children. Roman’s children.
Keep an open mind. But the man was still a traveler, by choice and by occupation. No way could she open her mind that wide.
Or could she?
Later that day, Charlotte’s hands were tired, her shoulders stiff, yet she had a sense of accomplishment running through her veins. She’d crocheted, sewn, and put in a full day’s work. Then she’d painstakingly hand-wrapped a light blue pair of panties and delivered them to the next person on her customer list before stopping by the general store for some staple items for her refrigerator.
She’d returned home to find an odd message from her mother on her answering machine, promising to meet up with Charlotte tonight at the baseball game. Little League games were a town event, but her mother never made an appearance. Charlotte wondered if the local vet had anything to do with her mother’s sudden willingness to go out. If so, Charlotte was heading over to Harrington, the next town over, to pick out a dog from the shelter as added incentive for Annie to visit with the man.
Though her mother had called, Roman hadn’t. Of course, he hadn’t made any promises, which meant he hadn’t broken any either. Still, she was disappointed their time together hadn’t left him panting for more of whatever she had to offer. So much for her charm. Skill. Erotic proficiency, she thought wryly.
She couldn’t completely shake off the dismay, but she knew she’d be fine. She wasn’t her mother’s daughter, at least in that respect.
She straightened her spine, held her shoulders back, and approached the school. A chilly breeze floated in the air around her. As promised, the temperatures had taken a bizarre drop throughout the day and she hugged her arms closer around her. But, lucky for the kids and the bleacher bums like herself, they had perfect softball weather in which to enjoy the game. Charlotte’s Attic sponsored the Rockets, and she wan
ted to see them kick some more butt.
As she walked through the full parking lot, the baseball diamond came into view in the distance, located beyond the football field and bleachers. Her stomach growled and she placed a hand over her empty belly. She hoped Beth was waiting with something good to eat, because she was starving.
As she reached the rows of makeshift stadium seats, a place where she’d spent a lot of time as a teenager, she quickened her pace. Without warning, she was grabbed from behind. A strong hand anchored her waist, locking her arms at her sides.
Fear lodged in her throat—for all of two seconds—before familiar cologne assaulted her senses and a sexy voice muttered in her ear. “I always wanted to make out with you under the bleachers.”
Fear turned to excitement, excitement to arousal. She’d missed Roman today. And if she let herself think about just how much, the fear might well return. Instead she chose to relax in his arms and enjoy now.
As soon as he spoke, Roman felt Charlotte’s muscles ease against him. He didn’t know how he’d managed to stay away from her all day. Hell, he didn’t know how he’d stayed away from her for the last ten years. A humbling admission, for a man who made traveling his MO. He buried his face between her neck and shoulders, inhaling her fragrant scent. “You know I’d have killed to get you behind the bleachers back in high school.”
“And what would you have done with me?”
From her playful tone, Roman figured she was in a good mood. Obviously she hadn’t yet heard about her father’s return, which gave him this small window of opportunity to cement everything they’d shared. He grabbed her hand and pulled her around the benches until they were well hidden from view. He ought to know. He’d specialized in hanging out here in high school. With the wrong girls.
Now he had the right one. She was dressed in blue jeans and a Little League jersey beneath an open denim jacket with a fuzzy lining. But what drew his attention most was her mouth—her lips were as red as her snakeskin boots.
The Bachelor Page 17
