by Trumbo, Kari
“That’s true. Cutter’s Creek was at the base of the mountains, but we’re higher here, like you’re a little closer to God.”
Ruby turned back to her. “Jennie, I had a lot of time to think while I was resting and I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you that Eva told me about your argument with Aiden on the way here… and what he offered. I’m worried you’ll pass up the opportunity to be with him because of Hattie. Please don’t let her choices ruin yours. If I could go back and change anything, I would’ve insisted Ma come with us. Hattie may not have run away from her, but we’ll never know for sure.”
“Ruby, this wasn’t your fault and you can’t go back so it doesn’t do anyone any good to think on it.” Jennie turned and splashed her face, one last time, to make sure any visible sign of Aiden’s kiss was gone.
Ruby stepped toward her and rested her hand on Jennie’s shoulder. “Jennie, I want you to think about something, deeply. You’ve based all your ideas on marriage on Ma and Pa, but they aren’t your only guide. Think of Beau and I. Marriage can be a beautiful thing.”
“I’m sure it can be… when you want it. I’ve been afraid of it for so long, how do I just change how I feel?” The thought of Aiden’s lips on hers, just a few minutes before, sent heat crawling back up her cheeks. What would that kiss have become if she hadn’t jumped back? They had been alone in his home…
“You first have to want to change, then you make decisions that slowly take you out of where you’re comfortable. Love, in the beginning, isn’t comfortable. It can be exciting and a little scary.”
“I’ve spent the last year changing. I just want to find somewhere I can do my work and be left alone.” Jennie had to get away from Ruby. Ruby would never understand that she did love Aiden, but she couldn’t let herself hope until he returned. She rushed up the ladder, in the loft to change for supper. The longer Aiden was here, the more everyone would try to push them together. He certainly made her pulse race when he got close, or when he teased her, but feelings just weren’t enough. Ma had talked about the feelings she’d had when she first met Pa, and she’d ended up living in a tiny house with eight girls and a husband who brewed moonshine. Feelings couldn’t assure her Aiden would return. Until then, his parents came first.
She pulled her work dress over her head and changed into her one nice ecru lace dress. She buttoned the front up the high neck and looked down at it. While it wasn’t elegant, it fit her well after her alterations. She helped Lula with her braids and gathered the girls to come down. They would go over to the main house for supper as a family.
Jennie held her skirts close to her and climbed down the ladder from the loft. When she reached the third rung from the bottom, someone grasped her waist and swung her down. She turned and Aiden’s hands squeezed her waist gently, fitting comfortably and almost encircling her back and belly.
“You look beautiful, Jennie-girl.” He beamed down at her and she froze, not sure what to say or do. He’d shaved and put on a shirt she didn’t recognize. It was clean and white and looked so nice with his brown leather vest. His sandy red hair was just a bit too long and she wanted to push it behind his ears.
Beau cleared his throat and Jennie jumped away from Aiden for the second time that day. Aiden chuckled and offered her his arm.
“Care to walk with me?”
If she refused, she’d look rude in front of everyone… if she accepted, it was almost an acceptance of his pursuit. She hesitated, then reached out and touched his arm. For now, she would avoid saying she accepted him.
He grinned at her and swept her from the cabin. When they were outside and a few steps ahead of everyone else, he laid his hand on hers.
“Thank you for freshening up my cabin. I should’ve said so when I got there.”
Jennie tried to pull her hand back, but his held hers firm. “As I recall, your lips were too busy with other things for the task.”
His hazel eyes darkened to the color of a beautiful glade. “Aye, and don’t tell me you wouldn’t rather have that than a thank you.” His voice was thick, intimate. She shivered.
“That’s what I thought. It was just such a pleasant shock to find you there. A man doesn’t expect to find a beautiful woman waiting for him unless he’s married to her.”
Jennie watched her feet as she walked across the sparse grass. “I was only trying to be kind. I didn’t even mean to be there when you returned.”
“I’m not complaining. In fact, I’m hopeful someday I can come home to you every day.”
Jennie shook her head. “Aiden, stop. I enjoy your company, more now than I did at first, for sure, but I’m not interested in marriage. Not now… or ever. I’ve always seen marriage as a threat, something held over my head. I’m not going to choose it, ever.” That’s what she’d keep telling him so it didn’t hurt so terribly when he left. Maybe if he believed it, so would she, but it didn’t stop the words from tearing something within her.
Aiden held her hand on his arm as they stepped onto the porch and waited for Beau. She saw the confusion in his eyes and he stepped away from her, and a coldness filled the space like a wall. She swallowed back the words to bring him back to her. The sooner she got her heart to forget him, the better off they would both be. He was leaving.
Beau led Ruby and the five other sisters onto the porch, Eva trailing silently at the rear. Beau knocked and a Chinese woman opened the door.
She spoke with clipped words. “Mr. Ferguson is waiting. This way.” She closed her eyes and bowed her head slightly. A few silver strands ran through her thick black hair tied back in a large bun. Her tiny feet made soft swishing noises under the strange robe she wore, like a long coat, as she led them in short steps to the sitting room. Jennie knew the woman was Chinese because there was a group of Celestial’s settled in Deadwood, but she’d never actually seen one.
The woman stopped in front of a set of large double pocket doors and gestured inside. Jennie hesitated for a moment, wanting to know more about the woman but would her host think her rude for her curiosity? Jennie tilted her head to the side and waited as the others entered the room.
“Something wrong, young one?” the woman asked.
Mr. Ferguson approached them, smiling. “This is my housekeeper, Mrs. Chen. She lost her husband a few years ago and has been with me for some time. She used to work in the laundry seven days a week, twelve hours a day. It wasn’t right, so now she’s here.”
Jennie held out her hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Chen.”
She looked at Jennie’s hand and nodded, then turned to the back of the house leaving them.
Mr. Ferguson put his hand at Jennie’s waist and directed her in the room. “Don’t take her lack of reaching out as a refusal to get to know you. Lei was treated very poorly in Deadwood and is still suspicious of people. Her people work hard in the laundries and mines, but folks are scared of what’s different.
Jennie whispered, “What happened to her feet?”
“That’s their custom. I don’t know the whole story, just that many of the women there have those tiny feet. In fact, those that don’t are often unmarried and ridiculed.”
“Strange.” Lei came from a life completely foreign from her, one not embraced by others in the community. Hadn’t Beau said Chinatown was dangerous? Lei certainly didn’t seem so. She wanted to follow Lei instead of sitting in a boring dinner, talking about cattle.
“It is, but strange isn’t always bad. And, while I don’t share the fears of some of the people in Deadwood, I do understand. Before they moved west, many of them heard of the dangers of different people. They’ve been taught to fear those who believe differently, have different rituals and ways. Without more people willing to cross the lines we create, our worlds will remain shared, but separate.”
Lei appeared at the end of the hall and slowly made her way toward them, stopping just a few feet away. She bowed her head and waved down the hall as a short man pushed a cart laden with plates.
“Tha
nk you, Mrs. Chen. You need not serve us. You may have the rest of the evening off. Thank you for staying.”
Lei nodded and folded her hands in front of her as she made her way past them and back to the front of the house.
“Isn’t it difficult for her to move around?” Jennie wanted to know more.
“While she does have some difficulty, especially by the end of a day, she likes to remain helpful. I’ve offered her other jobs that would keep her off her feet. This is the one she wants to do the most. Now, let’s turn our thoughts to something else, like the ranch. The Bar F was one of the first ranches near Deadwood. The railroad just started moving cattle this far northwest and I was glad to finally be doing what I wanted to. I’d heard all the stories about Deadwood and was fascinated. I came up here thinking I would stake a claim, strike it rich, and live out my days in luxury.” He laughed.
Jennie shifted her gaze to Aiden, who was, for once, ignoring her and paying attention to Mr. Ferguson. Kindred spirits looking for wealth from the earth. She mentally shook off her pique that he could be so easily turned.
Mr. Ferguson’s glance landed briefly on each guest. “The good Lord had other plans for me. I had the money to buy up four claims, all connected, not a single one of them had any dust that I could find, but it was prime land for cattle. I helped out a friend who had a reasonably good find of copper and he shared some of his earnings from selling his claim with me, which is how I was able to buy my cattle. I paid him back after the first year. Now, I don’t need gold. I have a commodity that’s even more rare than gold up here. Beef.”
Aiden smiled. “So, you’ve been here a few years. Is the weather good for ranching?”
“Well, that remains to be seen. I’ve seen some wicked storms up here, but they don’t come around every year. Everywhere you go, there’re dangers to ranching, but cattle aren’t much different than bison. They do have less hide, though, so you’ve got to move them into more protected areas when the weather starts to turn.”
Aiden glanced at Jennie and caught her watching him. She dropped her gaze to her lap, her stomach tightening like a child’s windup toy.
“Mr. Ferguson, it sounds and looks like you have a great spread here, with a lot of potential. I wish I could promise you that I’d be able to come right back from my travels. I wish I didn’t have to leave at all.”
His words slammed into her ears and she snuck a glance at him to see a mischievous smile directed at her. The room was suddenly stifling in her high-necked gown.
“Now, Aiden,” Brody leaned on the table over his crossed arms. “I understand why you want to go, and why you might not come back. Don’t concern yourself with it. I’ll be showing Beau around for the next few days and after that, he’ll be in charge of the hiring here. He’s the one you’ll need to prove yourself to if you return.”
Beau sat up as the man from outside the door pushed a cart into the room and set heavily laden plates in front of each of them. Jennie eyed foods in front of her and didn’t recognize most of it. She’d never seen so much food on one plate before, it overwhelmed her senses. Was she truly supposed to eat it all? She glanced around the table and her sisters were doing much as she was, unsure of what to do next. Brody folded his hands and bowed his head and they all followed. He said a short prayer over the food and then lifted his fork.
Ruby leaned over to Jennie and whispered in her ear. “It’s beef. Beau bought it for me once. It’s good, try it. You may not get a chance again for a long time.” She straightened and started on her own meal.
Jennie reached for her knife and cut off a small bite. While the taste was similar to the venison she’d had growing up, it wasn’t quite the same. She took a few more bites and knew she’d love to eat it again, given the chance.
The meal ended and she and her sisters were excused to leave. Ruby stayed with Beau so Jennie and Aiden led the girls back to the cabin. There wasn’t much to say during their walk, their argument from earlier hung in the air like a wet sheet dividing them. Jack met them halfway and circled them, barking, then he ran off returning quickly, enjoying his freedom from four walls. Jennie turned and Aiden leaned over, patting Jack on the head.
The girls giggled as they ran into the house and watched from the front window. Jennie remained outside, waiting to see what Aiden would say or do. His revelation at dinner had been shocking, but perhaps no more than hers before. He smiled as he walked alongside her, past her house and under a tall spruce tree. He turned her to face back toward her house and looked up at the sky. The stars overhead were bright and the air was cool and calm, so fresh and clean after life in the city.
“So, what did you think of dinner?” He tucked her hand under his arm and held it there with light pressure as he gazed up at the stars. As she turned to see what fascinated him so in the sky her neck tingled with his warm breath. His gaze had drifted much further south than the heavens.
“It was pleasant. I learned a lot about the Chinese people of Deadwood.”
“There’s always more to learn. I know, if you get curious, you’ll find a way to learn more. I’m happy to see you take some interest in Deadwood, even if it isn’t a typical one.”
She didn’t want to argue with him; arguing over something so unimportant seemed silly and they’d already wasted enough of that day fighting. He’d only be with her another few weeks.
She shivered and stepped away from his arm. “Take me for a walk? I’m not supposed to go past the buildings alone.” It seemed the perfect excuse to stretch the evening for a few extra minutes.
He gazed down at her, the darkness shadowing his face. She stopped, holding her breath. Perhaps she shouldn’t have asked.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea to take you beyond the buildings or anywhere into the dark. A man has to know his limits, Jennie. If you want to see the stable and the buildings, I’ll show them to you, in the morning.”
She hadn’t even considered what people might think of them wandering in the dark alone, but the sky was so perfect, the air so crisp. She’d been inside a house for too long. A short walk couldn’t hurt.
“Are you always so concerned with what other people think?” She continued along the worn path ignoring his warning, toward the stables.
He sighed and turned to follow her. Exasperation thickening his voice. “There isn’t anyone out here to see us, which is part of the problem. I was thinking more of my own temptations.”
She slowed her pace. “Well, maybe it would be best if I didn’t go with you, then.” If she let herself be alone with him in the barn would he take liberties and kiss her again? Would she mind if he did?
He laughed as he came alongside her. “I can probably keep myself in check for a few minutes, can you?” He tugged gently on her ear lobe and ran off into the stable.
Jennie clutched her skirts in hand and ran after him, laughing as she skidded to a stop just inside the door of the lighted barn. There was nothing to the left or right, it was as if he’d just disappeared. There was a row of horse stalls just to her right, most of them full. She leaned over and glanced down the row, then crept to the next. This row had empty stalls, the perfect place for him to hide.
She gingerly tip-toed over the rough concrete block floor, careful to check each stall. Her heart pumped in her ears as she waited for him to jump out and scare her, that would be just his way. She’d almost reached the end when a few blades of straw rained softly down on her head. She peered up as Aiden sat on a beam above her. His thickly muscled arms held him for a moment as he swung down then he extended them, releasing his body from the rafters above. He landed right in front of her and she gasped, nose to nose with him. His hazel eyes swept over her face, stalling on her lips, then he turned from her and scraped his hand over the back of his neck expelling a huge breath. She wanted to stalk over there and yank him back, she wasn’t done with him yet.
“We shouldn’t be out here. Brody showed us the tracks of unshod horses out in one of his pastures. Could be Indians
or someone trying to look like Indians to stir up trouble. I should get you back home. It was foolish of me to bring you out here.”
He grasped her arm and tugged her along with him. She lost her footing and slid along for a moment until she gained her feet and yanked herself free.
“Just wait one minute! You haven’t shown me anything except that you know how to hide.” Her breath ached to be free of her stays, she was breathing too hard to calm herself.
He returned to her, just a bare few inches away. “You don’t understand, M’fhíorghrá. I can hardly stand to breathe if I’m not with you, but I know you’ll never want to be with me, so I have to stay away. You’re tearing me apart.”
He closed the distance between them and nuzzled her ear. She leaned in closer, a sigh escaping her before she could pull it back. She let his breath fan her neck and the tension in her own belly tightened.
“What does that mean, what you called me?” Her voice was barely a whisper as she tilted her head to let him explore her neck further.
He nibbled below her ear, leaving a trail of heat. She’d never experienced anything so delicious.
“It’s what my da always calls my mam.” He took a step closer and his voice caressed her as sure as his hands on her shoulders and his mouth on her neck. “My da and mam’s parents came to America to escape the Great Famine in Ireland. They found jobs in New York and raised their children together.” He stopped and stepped back from her. His eyes hotter than his touch. “No one was surprised when my parents married. They’d been together their whole lives. What my grandparents didn’t expect was that they would pull together the few dollars they could and move to Kansas.” He shifted his body and laid his forehead against hers, breathing deeply. Her body pulsed, fanning a flame deep inside her. He was far too close and yet not close enough. She told her fingers to keep still but they wound their way around his waist against her will.
“My parents told us that leaving New York hurt our grandparents greatly, but there was nothing for them there but poverty. They weren’t expecting their son to do as they did… leave without warning.”
