by Kiki Archer
‘Cheers Freya,’ shouted Ben already out of the car and entering the code into the communal lobby.
‘See you later?’ she whispered hopefully as Kat slid out of the car.
Kat turned around, ‘Maybe.’ Her heart was urging her to stay and talk openly, ‘Probably.’ She smiled softly and left Freya with two hands on the wheel, heart pounding like a drum; it was back, both could sense it.
‘Oh look,’ said Jess to Gary, both huddled over the small pink laptop screen with their backs against the black leather sofa, ‘he is bigger than a strawberry. Oh wow, his fingers and toes have completely separated, and you won’t believe this, oh wow, no way, he can swallow and stick out his tongue.’ Jess was glowing.
Gary leant in further, ‘Get out?! At eleven weeks?’ He tapped the screen, ‘That’s my boy, testicles starting to produce testosterone!’
Jess giggled, ‘I think he is a she. I think we are having a girl, don’t ask me why, I just have that feeling.’
Gary kicked the red bean bag with his outstretched toes. ‘Maud and Penelope, I don’t think we will be passing on the family names!’ He loved every detail on this latest fantastic pregnancy website.
‘Hey, I like my mum’s name,’ squealed Jess moving the pink laptop from her knees onto the small black ash coffee table; she turned to tickle Gary. ‘I love you so much,’ she whispered as she quickly found herself wrapped under his warm arm.
‘I know.’
‘... and I promise you I would not have done anything without you. I just -’
‘Jess, stop it, I know. I believed you the first time. It’s fine. We are fine, no we are more than fine, we are perfect. Let’s get that twelfth week out of the way, get engaged properly the week after -’
‘Are you still not going to tell me where we are going?’ She looked up with pleading eyes.
Gary tapped her round freckled nose, ‘No it’s a secret, and then let’s invite the whole family, and I mean the whole family over for New Year and tell them our news.’
Jess joked, ‘Hi guys, surprise! We are getting married in three months and there will be a baby arriving three months after that!’ She was actually nervous. Her parents liked Gary, they approved of the relationship, pleased with the way both kept their independence, not rushing to get a house, secretly hoping he would start to move up the promotion ladder at work; but seeing their daughter made happy was all that really mattered to them. ‘Things will be fine,’ said Jess hopefully.
‘Hello,’ shouted Kat as the heavy apartment door clunked back into place. She added her beige belted rain Mac to the array of coats hanging bulkily next to the door; Lucy’s enormous yellow puffer jacket, Jess’s black suede parka with slightly manky faux fur hood and Gary’s orange work cagoule. Ben kept his brown leather bomber jacket on, standing nervously behind her unsure of the welcome awaiting him.
‘Hi Ben, long time, nice to see you back mate,’ said Gary standing to shake his hand.
Ben looked sheepish. ‘Hi, listen guys; I’m sorry I have been a knob.’ He edged further towards the lounge.
Jess remained seated on the floor.
‘As Lucy once told me only the wisest and stupidest men never change.’
Jess still didn’t smile.
Lucy emerged slowly from her room, ‘Ben?’
‘Hi Lucy.’ He had an audience, ‘I’m a knob; I’ve just said it to everyone.’
‘No you’re not mate, don’t worry about it,’ said Gary loudly patting him on his bomber jacket trying to reassure.
‘Yes I am. Lucy I am so sorry. Can you forgive me?’
Kat felt touched. Ben could be incredibly immature for a man of twenty six, but he was stood now with responsibility and heart.
‘Lucy?’ She looked incredible and Ben could see the difference a month in the gym had made, already perfect muscles bulging with even more power.
‘Come here big boy!’ she yelled running through the lounge and jumping up to clasp her thighs around his stomach.
‘I really am sorry, I -’
‘Oh forget it sexy, you know what they say, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong” Mahatma Ghandi.’ She really did want to win him back.
Kat laughed, ‘Anyone for a cup of tea?’
‘And don’t you think I will be ditching you Kat,’ she yelled being piggybacked into her bedroom. ‘It is Gail’s tonight Ben, our lovely Katherine needs cheering up, has she told you about that weirdo Vicky?’
Ben didn’t answer, he was too busy unzipping her tracksuit top and kicking the white bedroom door closed.
Chapter 14
It was dark inside the taxi as Bea edged further towards the steamed up window, nauseous from the potent air fresheners that were scattered around the cab; the feeling of Jodi’s leg brushing against her own making the situation even worse. Freya was in the front chatting away over warbling Asian music, seemingly unaffected by the fragrant stench, reciting the boringly obvious - ‘Have you been on long? What time will you finish? Where are you going next? I bet you get some right nightmares in here don’t you?’ The tired driver was unresponsive but Freya still chose his company over Bea’s; Bea was annoyed.
Freya hadn’t encouraged Jodi’s plan to take Bea off her hands, but she hadn’t rejected it either. She didn’t want to think of her in that way, she didn’t want her to enter the equation; her thoughts were still undoubtedly for Kat. Kat was the one she wanted. Kat was the one she dreamt of. Kat was the one she knew she could wait for if only she could get one single definitive sign of encouragement. Freya turned to look at her two friends sat on the grubby back seat. Jodi was open legged flicking the clasp on her large eagle shaped belt buckle and Bea was huddled against the cold window.
‘So have you been with many women?’ purred Jodi trying to sexily undress Bea with her come to bed eyes.
Bea was not sure what to make of the overly confident, pretty but boyish - clearly out - cousin, who came complete with flashing green eyebrow piercing. ‘I’ve had a girlfriend, why? Have you?’
Jodi winked, ‘Let’s just say I know my stuff.’ The plan was for Bea to fall for her, leaving Freya with her mind on the end game, bringing quickly into fruition the highly fantasised and seemingly inevitable student-teacher affair – that was Jodi’s take on it anyway. ‘What is your type of woman then my beautiful Beatrice?’ she tried to brush a layer of loose velvety dark hair back behind Bea’s ear.
Bea flicked Jodi’s hand away and hushed her voice, ‘I am not going to spend time debating to myself whether or not you are trying to come on to me so I will just risk sounding pretentious and put it out there,’ she took Jodi’s small, slightly sweaty hand in her own, ‘you are not my type, I am really sorry, you seem lovely but not for me sorry.’
Jodi smirked naughtily, ‘We will see. I am a grower.’ She started to stroke the kind hand which was quickly removed.
Freya now felt devastated for the pair of them, Jodi was singing Bea my, Bea my baby, and Bea was staring out of the steamed up window, hands tucked firmly under her armpits, pretending to be mesmerised by the passing bright lights of the Expressway. Freya gave up trying to talk to the driver and turned to face Bea. ‘Sorry’ she mouthed to her friend who really did look sensational tonight.
Kat and Lucy sat in one of the Gail’s infamous brown leather booths in the club’s chill zone. The area had originally been intended for occasions such as this – two friends wanting a quieter area to have a good relaxing chat in; however more often than not when someone asked you if you wanted to, ‘go to the booths,’ chatting was the last thing that you would be doing. Kat felt slightly squeamish as she pictured the visions of lust she seemed to encounter when passing the booths at the end of most evenings. Lucy’s clasped hands and authoritative voice suddenly focused her attention.
‘My book said that grudges are a non cathartic negative emotion.’ She could not help but smile each time she delivered a saying in the way that it was intended.
‘Wow you really are tr
ying to brush up.’
She grinned, ‘I don’t understand it, but I know I feel fantastic.’ She waved her hand dismissively. ‘Yes Ben was mean to me, but I deserved it and now things are fine again so as far as I am concerned it is all forgotten.’
‘Do you wonder why he reacted so badly?’ Kat wasn’t going to break a confidence.
‘Oh no, just blokes isn’t it. They can be as temperamental as women. It won’t be mentioned again, onwards and forwards as they say!’ Lucy swung her sharp black fringe in time with her marching quotation.
‘Oh bless you.’
‘What?’
‘Nothing. How is work?’ Kat reached for her drink and tried hard to avoid another quick scan of the room.
‘Great thanks, they have asked me to put on an additional Zumba class because of its popularity, and I am going into primary schools as part of some fitness for life programme, I can’t wait; get some practice in as they say!’ She winked.
‘For you and Ben?!’
‘Don’t be daft, for little Jessie! I am so pleased for them.’ She took a large refreshing gulp, ‘I guess we will need a new housemate, do you think I should bring it up with Ben?’
‘Wow, I hadn’t even thought of that, where has my mind been?’ Kat paused and delicately tried to guide her in the right direction, ‘Um no, probably best to leave it for now, let him find his feet again.’
‘He found more than his feet this afternoon if you know what I mean! The size of that boy! Pheweee!’
Both started to giggle, ‘Not for me thanks,’ said Kat shivering at the thought.
For a moment there was a silence and Lucy studied Kat as she sipped her drink. She had been quite quiet of late and she wondered once again whether her very best friend would ever be able to completely open up. ‘Oh Kat how are things? Seen any more of that witch Vicky?’
‘She is not a witch, but no, I have politely refused a number of invitations.’ She laughed at the memory, ‘She even offered to give me a full hour long sports body massage, she said I could have it for half price!’
‘Ha! The bitch!’
‘She is harmless enough.’
‘No she isn’t Kat. You need someone nice, you deserve someone nice, look at you, you’re incredible. What is it that you want?’ Lucy was showing genuine concern.
Kat looked across the booth and fixed her mesmerising blue eyes on Lucy’s, ‘I just want to be loved.’
Freya, Bea and Jodi made their way across the large sparkling dance floor towards the long bar full of neon bottles enticing them to try the latest crazily flavoured shot. Everything about the room was intense, the lights, the beats, the atmosphere, the perfect place to let loose and party. Freya linked arms with Bea and Jodi, ‘What will it be ladies?’
Jodi shook her off and re straightened her blonde quiff, ‘Sorry got to go, there’s Little Minx, be back in a bit.’ She strutted off with her right hand pushed into the back pocket of her baggy white jeans and her left hand on hip. Bea wondered if she had a bad knee, it was quite a limp.
Freya looked at her friend apologetically, ‘I am so sorry about the taxi.’
‘Why didn’t you sit in the back?’ Her response was sharp.
‘I don’t know.’ She looked around the busy dance room knowing that Kat would choose the cheese room over this music any day. ‘What do you want to drink?’
Bea waited for Freya to focus. ‘You don’t have to be afraid that I will bite you.’
Freya slowly returned her eyes and lied, ‘I’m not.’
‘Yes you are I can tell.’ The voice was raised over the repetitive pumping dance beat. ‘You won’t look me in the eye anymore, our conversations for this past month have revolved around school and work and nonsense about TV and irrelevant rubbish. We used to chat so deeply about everything.’
Freya glanced at Bea whose brown eyes were downcast with hurt. She was right; things weren’t the same between them no matter how hard she tried to ignore the situation. ‘I am scared Bea. I am scared that if I do look...’ she focused on the intoxicating dark eyes penetrating her own, ‘... that I won’t be able to stop.’
‘Would that be such a bad thing?’
She thought of Kat, ‘Probably not.’
‘So let’s just have a good time, you mean the absolute world to me just as we are.’
Freya watched Bea’s lips move as she spoke and thought for the first time of what it would be like to kiss them.
Lucy watched Kat elegantly sipping from her wine glass, she looked incredible this evening. Kat’s warm blue eyes were smiling, probably remembering some memory that Lucy wasn’t privy to. Kat was such a great listener but struggled to share her inner most thoughts and feelings, assuming they were of no interest or concern to her genuinely interested and concerned best friends. ‘How is Freya?’ She hadn’t asked in a while, her recent attempts had been brushed aside briskly, knocking her confidence as a much desired and valued confidant.
‘Oh Lucy don’t.’
She was going to do it again. ‘Why not?’ She would persist, she knew people thought she was all foam and no beer, but she wasn’t and she did care; and now she could tell something was wrong. ‘Who am I going to tell?’
Kat put down her glass and nervously tore a strip from the colourful beer map. ‘Ben?’
‘You know I am loyal Katherine! That is my best good point!’ she feigned offence.
‘I know. I know you are, sorry. It’s just there is nothing to say.’
‘What about feeling. What do you feel?’
Kat closed her eyes and ran her fingers through her thick blonde hair. She sat back against the warm leather booth and sighed, ‘I am trying desperately hard not to let myself feel. I have to listen to my head Lucy you don’t understand the position I am in.’
‘I do,’ said Lucy exasperated, reaching for her hands over the table, ‘the age gap between me and Ben and the age gap between Jess and Gary is much more than you and Freya.’
‘But I am her teacher and it is not happening. What am I even talking about this for?!’ She shook herself free, breathed deeply and sighed, ‘There is no me and Freya.’
‘Hello Miss Spicer,’ smiled Bea standing motionless at the end of the brown booth.
Shit how long had she been there, thought Kat?
Jodi waltzed her way back across the sparkling dance floor pulling up, once again, at her blonde quiff, making sure all and sundry could see her sexy swagger. Freya was standing alone. ‘Sorry about that, Little Minx needed a shot of Juicy Jodi!’ she purred and licked her lips.
Freya’s eyes searched the Dance room, ‘Have you seen Bea?’ The crowd of boppers sprayed with smoke were making it hard to focus.
‘No sorry. You know I don’t think it is going to be a go-er between me and her, I hate to admit it, but for once I think she is out of my league. Freya you should be honoured that she fancies you.’
‘I am.’
‘So what’s the problem then?’ Jodi spoke louder, not wanting her next epiphany to get lost in the loud music, ‘You could always use her to warm up for the big event.’
‘Jodi that’s awful. It is much deeper than that with Bea, I just don’t want to spoil what we have.’
Jodi looked at Freya’s green eyes, they were usually so alive with passion and mischief, but now they looked heavy and concerned. ‘Look Cous, it pains me to say it but the ultimate teacher fantasy may just be that, a fantasy. You have got an exquisitely beautiful girl there who fancies the pants off you and I think you should go for it, you would look great together.’
‘Oh I don’t know, maybe. She does look amazing tonight though doesn’t she?’
‘Sexy I think is the word.’
‘Yes she is isn’t she,’ said Freya finally giving in and daring to entertain the notion of Bea.
‘Look you stay here and get us another drink; I will have a look around.’ Jodi had been looking for an excuse to prowl for prey as it was.
Lucy watched the colour drain from Kat’s
perfect face, she puzzled - surely this womanly woman could not possibly be a pupil at Coldfield?
Kat spoke in her teacher voice that always made Lucy giggle nervously. ‘Lucy this is Bea from my A Level class. Bea, this is my housemate Lucy.’
‘Oh you’re Bea!’ Lucy raised her eyebrows.
Kat kicked her under the table and widened her eyes.
‘Sorry, I am not being funny but I know I certainly didn’t look like that when I was at school.’ She gawped, trying to make light of the situation.
Kat corrected her, ‘You left school at sixteen, Bea is eighteen.’
‘Oh yes so I did.’
Bea didn’t smile. ‘Miss I don’t want to spoil your evening but can I have a word?’
She was looking more pouty than usual and Kat was struggling to read her.
‘Miss. That sounds so funny,’ giggled Lucy fast becoming nervously delirious.
‘If it’s about the slave trade then no!’ Kat tried to joke but again Bea stood stony faced.
‘Definite no,’ shrieked Lucy one hand in the air, head tilted, tongue out, pretending to hang from a noose.
‘Lucy what are you doing?’ asked Kat embarrassed.
‘Sorry I just feel all giggly, it must be the spritzers.’ She downed half a glass, ‘Oh look, empty, I need a refill, anyone else?’
Kat and Bea shook their heads as Lucy legged it from a situation she realised she was only making worse.
‘Sorry she won her boyfriend back today and has gone a bit loopy!’ said Kat watching Lucy totter her way to the bar with her calf muscles bulging; a side effect of the ridiculously high heels she had insisted on wearing. Kat moved her attention from Lucy who was clumsily bumping into a couple of slow dancers and looked up at Bea still stood at the edge of the brown booth.
Bea tested the water, ‘Look tell me to go away and I will, I don’t want to spoil your night.’
Kat tapped the plump brown leather seat, ‘Don’t be silly, are you ok?’
