by Lee Savino
He smiles. “So fierce,” he says. “When you see him next, Tarish might ask you if I’ve forced myself on you.”
I prop myself up on an elbow. “What did you do now, Kadir?” I ask him in exasperation.
He shrugs. “It was something I said. Nothing important.” A smile curves his lips. “Raiht’vi also dropped by. You told her I would have fought regardless of what she said to me.” He shakes his head indulgently. “You do realize you’re ruining my reputation?”
I roll my eyes. “There were eighty-seven children in the school First attacked. You drove him away. Everyone thinks you’re a hero. I think you’re doing a great job of ruining your own reputation.”
He gives me a wicked grin. I’ve just come—multiple times—yet I want him again. He’s dangerously addictive.
“You said the party was weird. In what way?”
Observant as always, that’s my Draekon. Never misses a damn thing. “I’m feeling a little anchorless,” I admit. “Dor is training to be a pilot. Olivia is doing her thing, as is Felicity. Tomorrow, I do a psych evaluation, and then what? If I want to be a healer, it’s back to being a student again.” I rest my cheek on his shoulder. “I had a life on Earth,” I mutter. “And now, I have to start from scratch. It’ll just take me some time to find my footing.”
He strokes my hair. “I can relate.”
“You can, can’t you?” He woke up after a thousand years of stasis. Every single day has to be disorienting for Kadir, yet I’ve never heard him voice any frustration about it. He just plows through. “You’re living in the future. Is that weird?”
“A little. Mostly, what shocks me is how nothing’s really changed. Yes, the ships are faster, and the technology is better, but apart from that, everything is the same. The Draekons were hunted when I went into stasis. A thousand years later, that’s still true.”
It’s just the two of us, talking in the dark. It’s really nice. Is this what a relationship with Kadir would be like? During the day, he’ll be training soldiers, and I’ll be going to Med School Round Two, but in the night, it’ll be this. It’ll be us, together in bed, chatting about our day.
I don’t have a frame of reference for what makes up a good relationship, but if this is what things would be like between us, then sign me up, because it sounds perfect.
“I talked to the others,” Kadir says.
Something in his voice alerts me. “You told them about First?”
He nods soberly. “Did they give you a tablet?”
“Yeah. Why?”
He gets up and retrieves it from my robe’s pocket. “I’m going to program the emergency contact for the Rebel Force,” he says. “Tarish won’t sell you out, but if you ever get a bad feeling about anything and can’t reach me, I want you to contact the others. They are like my brothers. They will protect you.”
“Why wouldn’t I be able to reach you?”
His grip on me tightens. “First saw me today,” he says. “Ruhan is still missing. It’s just a precaution.” His dark eyes rest on mine. “I admit, there was a time when I wondered if it wouldn’t be easier to die.” He brushes a kiss over my knuckles. “Not anymore. I’m crazy about you, Alice. I need you. And I know this isn’t quite what you had planned for your life…”
He needs me. Not want. Need.
I love Kadir so much, I almost blurt it out. A smile covers my face, wide and happy. “You know something?” I wrap my fingers around the base of his thickening cock. “I think things worked out just fine.”
29
Alice
Everyone has a role to play in the rebellion. It’s like one big alien kibbutz. Commander Tarish, who was thrilled to learn that I am a doctor, tells me he wants me up to speed as quickly as possible. “We don’t have enough healers,” he says. “And after yesterday’s events…” His voice trails off.
He doesn’t need to continue. If we’re going to keep getting attacked, then we need more than soldiers. We also need doctors to patch up the wounded.
“I’m happy to help,” I tell him.
“Good. Sifax, one of our healers, will serve as your mentor. He’ll evaluate your skills and devise a training program for you.”
So far, so good. Then I get to Sifax, and the day turns into a disaster because Sifax hates me, and no, I’m not imagining things.
The healer is Draekon. He’s tall, of course; that’s the one thing all the Draekons have in common. His head is shaved, and his scalp is tattooed. He has a long, thin nose, high cheekbones, and a sneer on his face. “Ah, the human,” he says disdainfully when I knock on his door. “I told the Commander he was wasting his time with this. Earth’s civilization is primitive. You are not capable of understanding our technology; you don’t have the cognitive ability. But he insisted, and so we are.”
You don’t have the cognitive ability. He just called me stupid. I try not to bristle.
“I’ve set you an exam,” he continues. He hands me a tablet. “Let’s see how much you know.”
The exam he sets me is impossible. It’s filled with questions about Zorahn and Draekon anatomy and physiology. I fail it spectacularly, which is only to be expected, really, given that my only exposure to Draekon anatomy so far is doing the dirty-dirty with Kadir.
Sifax sniffs disapprovingly as he looks over my work. “Even our youngling know more than you,” he says, a bite in his voice. “Teaching you is going to be a complete waste of time. Give me your tablet.”
Resisting the urge to punch him in the jaw, I silently hand him my device. He fiddles with it. “I’ve loaded a few basic lessons on your tablet,” he says. “Familiarize yourself with the information. There will be another test tomorrow.”
It’s worse than going back to school. Back on Earth, I had liked learning, and my teachers had enjoyed teaching me. For the most part, they’d nurtured my desire to learn. I’m not used to Sifax’s attitude, and it sucks away all my motivation.
By the time lunch rolls around, I’m totally dispirited. To make matters worse, Kadir is nowhere to be seen. I make my way to the canteen, load my plate up with slices of synthesized pizza, and sit in a corner, feeling sorry for myself.
Everyone in the canteen is alien. They survey me as I eat, and their expressions are avidly curious, but nobody approaches me. To these people, I’m the alien in the room. Normally, I’d be able to laugh away their scrutiny, but on the heels of Sifax’s stinging disdain, it just feels like too much.
I choke down a slice of syn-pizza. I’m getting ready to head back to my studies when Dor, the woman I met last night, the one who was abducted from Earth, enters the canteen. She grabs a green shake, turns and catches sight of me, and gives me a friendly wave. “Hey,” she says, coming over. “Mind if I join you?”
I’m thrilled to see a familiar face. “Not at all.”
She sits down and takes a gulp of her drink. “You left the party early last night.”
I didn’t think she’d noticed. “I had an early start this morning,” I offer in explanation. It’s a partial truth. I did meet with Commander Tarish at the crack of dawn, but the real reason I left the party last night had been to see Kadir. “I was being evaluated for healer training.”
“Ooh, fun.”
I grimace, and she notices my expression. “It didn’t go well, I take it?”
“My mentor Sifax said, and I’m quoting him verbatim: You are not capable of understanding our technology; you don’t have the cognitive ability.”
“Sifax? Long face, looks like he’s smelled a really bad fart?”
I laugh out loud at her description. “That’s him.”
“Oh dear.” She makes a face. “I’m afraid it’s my fault. When I got here, he made a pass at me. I brushed him off, then he got handsy, and I kicked his balls.” She drains the rest of her shake. “My mates found out, punches were thrown, Commander Tarish flipped out and assigned Sifax to latrine duty for a month. Of course, Sifax blames me for the incident, and he holds a grudge. He’s a jerk to Oli
via too. I wish the Commander would kick him out, but healers are hard to find.”
“He hates all humans because you turned him down?” Well, that’s depressingly typical. I guess this isn’t space utopia, after all.
“Ask Commander Tarish to reassign you to a different healer,” Dor urges.
It’s a tempting thought, but I don’t want to be the human that runs to the adults the first time I face a problem. I finished at the top of my graduating class. I made it through a grueling residency. I survived seven months of the Zorahn scientists’ torture. I can cope. “I’ll be fine.”
Two weeks later, my initial optimism has evaporated.
No matter what I do, Sifax continues to be a jerk. Kadir wants to snarl at him, but I won’t let him. “I have to fight my own battles,” I point out. “You know that. Otherwise, no one will respect me.”
He doesn’t like it, but he nods reluctantly. “Fine,” he says grumpily. “I won’t say anything to the pus-filled insect. But if he touches you…” He gives me a dark look.
I rest my head on his shoulder. “He’s not that much of an idiot. By now, everyone knows that I spend my nights in your quarters.” What they think of it, I neither know nor care. If Olivia disapproves, she’s had the sense to keep her opinion to herself.
“Good,” he says, his voice drenched with male satisfaction. He kisses my forehead. “If he touches you, I will break his hand. And the rest of him.”
Strangely, I like the display of masculine possessiveness. “How’s the soldiering going? Are you getting the Draekons in fine battle form?”
He snorts. “The lot of them would weep if they got a splinter in their finger,” he says in disgust. “They complain when they do combat maneuvers. They complain if I make them run laps. None of them show any grit whatsoever.” His grip tightens around me. “They would do well to absorb some of your attitude.”
His praise warms my insides. “If you asked me to do combat maneuvers, I’d whine too.”
“No, you wouldn’t.” He pulls me onto his lap, and desire sparks to life. “You’re too stubborn.” He trails his fingers over my arm. “I wouldn’t ask you to do maneuvers,” he whispers into my ear. “I’d ask you to do other things.”
He takes my hand and directs it to the hard outline of his cock. Message received, Kadir. Loud and clear. “What kind of other things would you ask me to do?” I ask innocently. Smiling to myself, I rub my palm over his erection, and he growls under his breath. “Things like this?”
God, I love him. Kadir is my bright spot. On days when Sifax has been especially dickish—in other words, every day—and I’m ready to give up, Kadir keeps me going.
“Get naked,” he orders.
“You’re bossing me around again.” I lose my clothes and wriggle my panties down my hips. He pulls his shirt over his head and takes off his pants.
His cock is hard, and I’m wet, and there seems to be only one logical thing to do. I straddle his hips and sink down on his length, sighing in pleasure as his thick erection stretches me.
“I do not hear a complaint.” His face is etched with desire. His fingers grip my hips, and he urges me to ride him. Harder, faster. “You like it, little human. Admit it.”
I clamp my mouth shut. Yes, I do like it when he orders me around in bed, but I’m not about to tell him that. He’s too smug already.
The other thing that’s going badly? Tanya’s recovery.
One morning, three weeks after we arrive at the rebellion, a couple of healers—nice ones, not Sifax—find me before class and lead me to a conference room. Commander Tarish is sitting there, as is Olivia. Olivia gives me a faint smile.
“What’s this about?” I ask them. “Am I in trouble?”
“You?” Tarish looks confused. “We are here to talk about the other human. Tanya Sinclair. Mazix, would you tell Alice Hernandez what you told me?”
“The human woman is not getting better,” Mazix says, his expression doleful. “We have tried everything in our power, short of a mind-wipe.”
The other healer takes in my puzzled expression and explains. “The Zoraken—Zorahn soldiers—have their minds wiped after battle to insulate them from trauma,” she says. “It is not a recommended approach. Repeated mind wipes make the soldiers unstable. It’s much better to heal the damage than to mask it.” Her expression is serious. “However, Tanya Sinclair is not getting better. We think we’re making progress, but every time she stumbles upon one of us unaware, she gets freshly re-traumatized.”
One step forward, two steps back. Three Zorahn scientists tortured Tanya and me for seven months. Tanya will be doing okay, and then an alien will enter the room, and it’s like a switch flips in her mind.
“Maybe with time, it’ll get better?” I ask hopefully.
Both healers shake their heads. “I’m sorry,” Mazix says gently. “That is unlikely.”
Mazix doesn’t sugar-coat his words, does he? “What are you saying?”
Tarish glances at Olivia, who leans forward. “Alice, do you remember the smuggler who was responsible for Dor’s abduction? Kelek ab Rahni?”
I search my memory. “He has a way past the Triumvirate patrols.”
“Exactly.” She takes a deep breath. “In the normal course of events, Kelek wouldn’t be an option. Earth is in the Neutral Zone, and the Triumvirate ships that patrol it shoot to kill. Plus, I don’t trust the smuggler. But these aren’t normal times.”
“You want to send Tanya back to Earth?”
Olivia nods. “The healers will do a mind-wipe,” she says. “Make her forget the worst of the abuse. Safe on Earth, nothing will trigger her memories and make her relive the pain. All of us are presumed dead, but I can send word to my old boss. Roman’s part of the CIA. He will make her a new identity and help her start over.” She smiles without humor. “Roman put me on the Fehrat 1. He owes me a favor.”
“In our opinion, it is the best course of action,” the female healer says. “Returning her home gives Tanya Sinclair the best chance of success.”
They’re all looking at me. “You want me to make this decision.”
“Who better?” Olivia asks. “You’re a doctor, and you’re the person closest to Tanya.”
Who better indeed? “What are the risks?”
“If they get spotted, they die.”
“Is that likely?”
“Kelek will accompany Tanya himself,” Tarish says. “He has every incentive to stay concealed.”
The possibility of death, or a lifetime of trauma. Those are the choices in front of me.
I swore an oath to preserve life. How can I make this call?
Except I already know the answer.
Tanya barely wants to leave her room. She’s a shadow of her former self. The once-vivacious cheerleader, intensely passionate about football, surprisingly thoughtful about the effects of concussions on the players, and dryly funny about the outlandish restrictions that cheerleaders were subject to, is gone.
On Earth, she has a chance. I take a deep breath. “Send her home.”
Tarish’s comm beeps. He glances down at it, and his shoulders stiffen. He pushes himself to his feet. “I have to go,” he says tersely. “Olivia, you can handle the rest.”
The rest?
The door closes behind Tarish. Olivia clears her throat. “Would you excuse us?” she says to the healers. “I need to talk to Alice alone.”
The healers say their farewells and leave. “What’s going on?” I ask the other woman.
She steeples her fingers. “I know you’ve been sleeping with Second,” she says. “It makes sense. He rescued you, he killed everyone who tortured you. He protects you.”
For fuck’s sake. This again?
Her lips form in a smile. “Maybe it’s not gratitude. Maybe it’s the real thing. Who am I to judge?” She doesn’t look at me. “The healer in charge of your training says that you are struggling. On Earth, you were an ER doctor.”
“What are you saying, Olivia?”
She lifts her face and meets my gaze squarely. “The smuggler will take more than one passenger,” she says. “If you want to go, you too can return to Earth.”
30
Kadir
The soldiers are doing laps around the training arena when Commander Tarish comes running toward me at full speed. “Problem,” he says, skidding to a halt.
The hairs at the back of my neck rise. Trouble, my intuition warns me.
“What is it?”
He looks around to make sure none of the Draekons can hear us. “We have an asset inside Blood Heart,” he says, his voice low. “We planted Nali with great difficulty. She just sent me a message. Blood Heart is heading to Consalas.”
“That’s almost in Makpi territory.”
“Its status is disputed,” Tarish corrects. “Both the Zorahn Empire and the Makpi Alliance claim the star system. But it doesn’t have much strategic significance, so neither will go to war over it. Everyone ignores Consalas.”
“A perfect place for one of Brunox’s laboratories.” First will be on his way there. I can feel it in my bones. “They’re planning another slaughter.”
“We need to leave right away,” Tarish says urgently. “We can get there in time. We can prevent this.”
“We?” I snap my head up. “No. You’re not going anywhere.”
His eyes narrow. “Are you telling me what to do?”
Pretty much. I reach for patience. Tarish isn’t a fool; he will respond to logic. “Commander Tarish, you are the symbol of the rebellion. If something were to happen to you, it would destroy what you’re building here. You, of all people, must know that you cannot afford to take unnecessary risks.”
By this time, Zunix and Dariux, two of Tarish’s foremost advisers, have joined us. “He’s right,” Dariux says. “You have to stay here. I will go.”
Once again, no. “You cannot transform,” I say flatly. “You will be a liability. I will go alone.”
