The Crooked Road to Heaven

by Robert Connolly

  “I’m fine, Seán, but there’s something different about us. We are sitting upright, but our bodies appear to be asleep. I don’t understand it, Seán. What does it mean?”

  “It means our physical bodies died in the accident, Nole, and these ghostly apparitions are our spiritual selves that resided in our bodies when they were alive. We have no physical emotions now. They died with our bodies, so we can never again feel pain, nor sorrow, nor love, anger, fear, depression, despair, worry or regret - in fact none of the emotional aspects of pulsating life.”

  “Yeah, I believe you’re right, Seán. I don’t feel anything. Has Tom died too in the back of the van?”

  “I’ve been trying to communicate with him telepathically - silently, that is - but I’m not getting any response. If he survived he would’ve gone to get help. Have you noticed we can only communicate through telepathy now?”

  “Yeah, yeah, the reality is just sinkin’ in, if it is reality.”

  “Yes, this, I believe, is true reality, Nole. We know how our loved ones are going to feel about our loss, but we can’t feel or share their emotional anguish and therefore can do nothing to comfort them. They belong to the tangible, physical world and are manifestations of the spiritual existence whereas we are now the invisible, spiritual reflections of the same.”

  “Yeah, I’m beginnin’ to grasp the significance - where did I pull that word from? - of it all. We are aware of all the sorrow that will be generated by our premature passin’ among our family members and relatives and our sweethearts too on earth, all the tears that will be shed, all the prayers and church services that will be offered up for our reception into heaven, but we can’t feel any of their grief,” Nole spiritually reflected.

  “Yes, death instantly severs the link between the spiritual self and its physical counterpart, the body, permanently. So we have to abandon our bodies prematurely without having fulfilled our mission on earth, thanks to the fox that suddenly crossed my path and led to our fatal accident.”

  “Is that what it was - a fox? I wasn’t sure,” Nole remarked. He added, “Might it have been the same fox that caused Tom’s accidents of late?”

  “Possibly and there might be a connection, but it doesn’t matter now. What’s done is done,” Seán concluded.

  “What do we do now, Seán?” Nole telepathically posed the question.

  “I’m not sure, Nole. Perhaps some heavenly messenger will come along and inform us what to do; until then all we can do is wait.”

  “I haven’t been to confession for at least three months, so I’ll have a pile of sins on my soul. I kept intendin’ to go, but something always seemed to make me forget. Do you think St Peter will take that into consideration, Seán?”

  “I’m sure he will, Nole, unless he interprets forgetfulness as lazy-mindedness. I haven’t been for a while either simply because, rightly or wrongly, I didn’t feel I had anything to confess.”

  “There’s one thing we can be sure of anyway: our mothers will make sure that there will be a multitude of prayers offered up for the remission of our sins,” Nole reminded.

  “Yes, there’s no doubt about that, Nole. They’ll be recruiting the help of family members, relatives, neighbours and acquaintances to recite rosaries on our behalf,” Seán assured.

  “So, the sins should be dropping off our souls like raindrops off an umbrella in no time at all,” Nole spiritually enthused.

  “I wonder if sacrificing our mortal lives in order to avoid running over a fox will be a big point in our favour,” Seán mused.

  “Well, it’s bound to generate some spiritual sympathy in God’s eyes.” Nole sympathised, and continued, “We didn’t even live half our natural lifetime, didn’t get married (although you were close to that, Seán), and didn’t have children to live on in. I suppose it was a shame that our lives came to an abrupt end. We might have done great things in life had we survived, but then on the other hand we might have made a right mess of our lives instead. It’s a good thing our emotional feelings died with our bodies, otherwise I’d be spilling bucketfuls of tears here.”

  “True, yes, but we’ve reached the end of that existence now, and what might have been is water under the bridge. We are now awaiting the beginning of our next existence and must accept whatever destiny demands.” Seán spoke philosophically.

  “Well, whatever it might be I hope it’s spiritually interestin’ - that is if we qualify for entrance into heaven,” Nole telepathically pondered.

  “Agreed! We are two sinners at the crossroads of heaven and earth and... Look out there, Nole, something standing up there is gesturing to us.”

  “Yeah, you’re right, Seán. It looks like a ghost dressed in a white glowing robe - an angel no doubt, if ever I saw one - and it’s beckoning us to come forward,” Nole remarked.

  “It must be the heavenly messenger,” Seán decided.

  “We’d better go out and greet it and receive our instructions,” Seán stated.

  “Well, since we have no other choice we’d better do exactly that. Farewell, Tom, wherever you may be. We hope to meet you again sometime in the future and hopefully in heaven.” Nole made his spiritual wish.

  “Yes, and it’s only fair that Tom survived since he has a wife and two children to support,” Seán respectfully added.

  Both their spiritual selves, just like the ghost-like apparition outside, left their silent bodies in the van and passed through the broken windscreen effortlessly to meet the angel.

  “Greetings, Brothers. I am Azrael, the Angel of Death. I release the spiritual souls from their mortal bodies at the moment of death,” the angel telepathically informed. “You, Brother Seán and Brother Nole, are spiritual clones of your spiritual selves that hover in the twilight zone between life and death until judgement by Brother Peter on the threshold of heaven, where you will meet after your journey along the crooked road to heaven.”

  Both Seán and Nole expressed their thanks spiritually to the angel, Azrael, and Seán enquired about purgatory. “Will we have to visit purgatory as well?”

  “The crooked road to heaven is also the purgatory road, where the soul is purged of sin, Brother Seán,” the angel revealed.

  “Yes, I see. That is self-explanatory and quite interesting, Brother Azrael. Thank you.”

  “So we might have to spend a long time walking, Brother Azrael?” Nole suggested.

  “There is no time in the spiritual realm of heaven, Brother Nole. It’s always day here and the sun never sets, so you will both walk through continuous day, contemplate on your earthly sins and feel remorse for them, and when you do they will be deleted from your souls until none are left. At that moment you will arrive at the Serene Palace of Heavenly Justice, where you will meet Brother Peter, who will decide your fate.”

  “Well, Brother Azrael that is easily understandable and appropriately simplistic,” Seán congratulated.

  “True reality is the essence of simplicity, Brother Seán,” the angel replied.

  “This timeless spiritual zone might take a bit of getting used to, Brother Azrael. I’m not complainin’ now, just makin’ an observation, you understand.” Nole expressed his spiritual lack.

  “You will soon get used to it, Brother Nole, and both of you will find enlightenment,” the angel, Azrael, assured him.

  “That is something to look forward to, Brother,” Seán enthused.

  “There is another piece of information that will please you,” the angel remarked. “After your judgement you will not need to be spiritually self-conscious of anything you say as you will then be free of your earthly burden of sin.”

  “Oh, that will be a great relief, Brother Azrael. I’m feelin’ some kind of spiritual delight already at the very thought of it and I’m lookin’ forward to the moment.” Nole expressed his telepathic joy.

  “T
hank you for meeting and informing us, Brother Azrael. I believe we are ready to begin our journey along the crooked road to heaven now.” Seán made his feelings known.

  “And that is regardless of how difficult it might be, Brother Azrael,” Nole concluded.

  Brother Azrael, communicating telepathically, pointed to a sphere of light hovering nearby and said, “Your journey begins when you enter the sphere of light over there, when you will find yourselves on the crooked road to heaven. At the end stands the Serene Palace of Heavenly Justice, the judgement seat of Brother Peter, where you will be either accepted into the realm of heaven or sent back to earth to continue your existence there. Is that understood, Brothers?”

  Both Seán and Nole spiritually voiced their comprehension and Seán remarked, “Forgive my deviation, Brother Azrael. You spoke of the crooked road to heaven a little earlier and now again. We grew up on earth being taught that the road to heaven was straight and narrow, so could you please explain how the two sayings differ?”

  “Yes, Brother Seán. I know that during your mortal life you were always instructed to keep on the straight and narrow in order to be sure of entering the kingdom of heaven at life’s end, but that was merely a simple expression to remind you to keep your concentration fixed on the righteous journey through life on earth and not to stray beyond the mental and moral confines of righteousness. Earth is the tangible counterpart of heaven or heaven’s physical reflection, and heaven is the spiritual essence from which earth was created. All roads on earth are winding, and even if some seem straight it’s only for a short distance. So heaven in that sense is a reflective form of earth. Does that clarify the confusion, Brother Seán?”

  “Oh yes, Brother Azrael. That’s a very intriguing explanation,” Seán replied, and he asked Nole if he understood.

  “So much so that I can hardly wait to get started,” Nole enthused.

  “I’m pleased that your curiosity is aroused, and all that remains for me to do is to inform you that you will encounter other helpful angels on your journey. I bid you both farewell, Brothers,” the angel, Azrael, concluded.

  Seán and Nole expressed their spiritual gratitude, said their farewells and moved towards the sphere of light.

  “Well, you have to admit, Seán, Brother Azrael was very friendly and helpful. Not the slightest hint of an ‘I’m a saint and you’re a sinner’ attitude - yeah, a real gentleman.”

  Seán spiritually smiled and reminded Nole, “You mean a real gentle spirit.”

  “Ah well, it was just a slip of the tongue. I think it’s goin’ to be a bit of a problem comin’ to terms with this spiritual existence.”

  “It might be easier than you think,” Seán suggested and added, “well, here we are, Nole. Are you ready to enter the sphere of light?”

  “Since we have no choice, let’s take the plunge.”

  And they both entered the sphere of light together.

  Chapter Three

  “Well, here we are on the crooked road to heaven. Do you notice anything familiar about it, Nole?”

  “Yeah, I do. It looks exactly like one of the hedgerowed byways we often travelled along when we lived on earth.”

  “Yes, that’s right, but the hedgerows with their accompanying trees and foliage are spiritual, silvery grey, just like our spiritual selves.”

  “Yeah! That’s right. The only difference for us is that we haven’t got physical bodies to walk in,” Nole reminded.

  “True, but on the other hand we won’t suffer from physical tiredness because we are not burdened by tangibility and gravity any more.”

  “Yeah, well, you were always the scientific one, Seán, and - Hold it there now a minute. I’ve just thought about somethin’. Seein’ as we have no bodies, how are we managin’ to make the sound of footsteps when we’re walking?”

  “I believe it’s our memory of the sounds that we hear, or at least that’s my explanation, Nole. Remember what Brother Azrael said: we shall retain our earthly mental faculties until we are judged.”

  “Yeah, yeah, so he did indeed.” And after a pause Nole continued, “This spiritual world is becomin’ as complicated as the livin’ one below. I suppose these roadside hedges are just reflections as well?”

  “Correct. This crooked road and those hedges are spiritual reflections of the earth’s realities just as we now are.”

  “I must admit it’s beginning to take on the appearance of a home-from-home situation to me.”

  “I think you struck the right note there, Nole. We are in transit from our earthly home to our heavenly home - I hope so anyway.”

  “Yeah, who knows! Dyin’ might not be such a bad thing after all.” And after a brief pensive moment Nole continued, “And there’s somethin’ else: since we have no bodies we won’t have to eat anything, so we’ll never feel hungry. Isn’t that a fact now?”

  “It certainly is. We don’t have to worry about food and drink or getting tired and needing rest and sleep, and the invisible particles of our spiritual selves will be nourished by the energy of the sun,” Seán added.

  “I suppose all that will take a bit of getting used to as well. No eatin’, no drinkin’, no restin’, no sleepin’. Yeah, I’m going to find that very strange.”

  “It shouldn’t be a big problem really, because it was our physical bodies that demanded all those needs when we existed on earth. When our bodies died our spiritual selves had to abandon them and our physical emotions that died with them. So we are now released from all those physical constraints, but our souls still bear the burden of our sins and how that is going to affect us remains to be discovered.” Seán elaborated, and added, “We will just have to be patient until we arrive at the Serene Palace of Heavenly Justice.”

  “Yeah, I have to keep remindin’ myself about that. I find all this spirituality very confusin’ and I don’t like confusion.” And after a lull in the telepathic conversation Nole asked, “Do you think there’s any chance of us endin’ up in hell, Seán? God forbid the thought! Servants of the devil we would be. I’d rather commit suicide than go down there.”

  Seán spiritually smiled and reminded, “But you are already dead, Nole.”

  “Oh yeah, so I am. I’ll have to keep remindin’ myself of that fact too. We had a lot of things to think about on earth and that habit seems to have followed me to this spiritual existence.”

  “If hell’s the judgement, Nole, you’ll just have to accept it. Besides, it might not be as bad as we have been led to believe. It certainly won’t be cold there.” And he spiritually laughed.

  “There’s nothin’ funny about goin’ to hell, Seán. You won’t be laughing if you’re sent there, will you now?”

  “That’s true, Nole, I wouldn’t, but I have a feeling - a spiritual feeling, that is - that I will not be going in that direction.”

  “And what makes you so sure about that?”

  “Simply because I have never committed a mortal sin. Have you, Nole?”

  “Ah, no... well, I don’t think so anyway.”

  “Have you ever murdered anybody, Nole?”

  “God forbid! No, that would be unforgivable.”

  “That’s right, because murder is a mortal sin, but self-murder, or suicide, in my opinion couldn’t merit the same punishment as the murdering of another person since suicide is a desperate act committed whilst in a state of despair - so ‘not guilty’ would be my verdict,” Seán explained.

  “Yeah, I agree - compassion not condemnation,” Nole suggested, and he confessed, “I’ve committed lots of venial sins. How many of them would it take to equal a mortal sin?”

  “No amount of venial sins could equal a mortal sin, just like no amount of prayers could equal a sacrifice,” Seán assured.

  “So does that mean that we can forget about hell, then, Seán?”

  “I
believe, Nole, that hell is not on the agenda for us and we can be certain of entering heaven sooner or later depending on the burden of sin on our souls.”

  Nole felt spiritually relieved and fell silent for a timeless moment before commenting, “The thought has just struck me, Seán, where is hell? Can you answer that question?”

  “Well, I must admit I did think of it from time to time during my lifetime, but the only logical answer I always came up with was the sun. It is the nearest fiery mass we know of beyond the earth, and the strange thing about it is it provides all the energy in the form of light and heat that generates all life systems on earth, but only from an acceptable distance from it. If the earth were to drift too close to the sun all life would be baked to death, and if it moved too far in the opposite direction all life would be frozen to death. So I came to the conclusion that the sun couldn’t be hell, simply because I don’t believe that even the invisible spiritual self could survive the heat generated by the sun’s fiery mass.”

  “Yeah, I understand what you mean. So where do you think hell is, then, Seán?” Nole probed.

  “Since nobody knows anything about hell or its existence I can only give you my own logical theory, which is that hell is a state of mental despair a human being descends into, but we might learn something more about it on our journey along this purging, crooked road to heaven,” Seán explained.

  “Yeah, yeah, I believe you’re right, Seán. Brother Azrael told us we would find the journey enlightenin’.”