by Diana Duncan
Why didn’t he phone for help? A horrible suspicion assailed her. Unless he knew there was no time. He was coming? How? He was a resourceful guy, but he didn’t have wings.
Suspended over the bustling city, she muffled her panic. She didn’t dare move. Barely breathed. Aside from the breeze, the world from on high was eerily quiet. To keep her mind off plunging to her death, she studied the stars. As a girl, she used to stare out her window and wish. Starlight, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might…
She closed her eyes to blot out the stars’ mocking gleam. She no longer believed wishes came true.
It was windier away from the shelter of the building. The breeze picked up, rocking her swing. She bit her lip and clutched the harness. “Hurry, Liam,” she whispered.
A clink sounded overhead, and the shard of metal fell, tumbling end over end until it disappeared in the darkened sky, far below. Uhoh! That can’t be good.
Suddenly, the connection popped, and she flipped backward. Her shriek abruptly cut off as the underside of the harness caught, and the breath was slammed out of her lungs. She dangled upside down a thousand feet in the air. “Liam!”
“I’m coming!” He sounded far, far away. “Hang on!”
Hysteria bubbled in her throat. She sure wasn’t about to let go. Blood rushed to her head, making her woozy. The strained harness creaked. “Hurry!”
An aeon ground past before he shouted, “I’m below you!”
Hope collided with disbelief. “How?”
“I commandeered the hot air balloon.”
“Thank heaven! Get me out of here!”
“I can’t come directly to you. The swing will tangle in the balloon’s ropes. You have to open the harness and fall to me.”
Say what? “I can’t see you.” She couldn’t see anything but vast, black sky. “I don’t know which direction to go.”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m right beneath you. Unbuckle the harness and let yourself fall.”
“Are you insane?” Her sweaty fingers dug into the straps. “Never mind, redundant question. No way!”
“Do it. I’ll catch you.”
Nausea churned in her stomach. She might hurl all over the Strip anyway. “What if you miss?”
“I won’t.” His tone was deadly calm. “Kate, listen to me. You feel safe because you have something to hang on to. But what you’re clinging to isn’t solid. It’s broken. Faulty. It can’t hold you up much longer. When it breaks, it will fling you into a free fall…in a random direction.” His low voice caressed her, wrapped her in a warm cloak of reassurance. “Sweetheart, you have to let go in order to survive.”
“I c-cant!”
“You can. I won’t let you down. I’ll catch you, I promise. Trust me enough to let go, Kate.”
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. Deliberately releasing the harness and plummeting blindly into nothingness warred with every survival instinct she possessed. How did he boldly walk up to bombs every day and unflinchingly stare death in the face?
“C’mon, Kate,” he urged. “I’ve wanted you to fall for me in a big way since we met.”
Humor. He coped by using humor. Hey, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. “O-okay. But if you let me go splat, I’m going to come back and haunt you forever.”
“Deal.” His laugh was strained. “Now unbuckle the straps and let yourself fall.”
Amazing how finding a small shred of humor helped to make the situation less dire. She struggled to get free. Her handicap and suspended weight worked against her. The buckles wouldn’t release. The stressed metal groaned, and she pried harder. At last, the catch snicked open, and she hurtled through space.
She didn’t have time to say an entire prayer before Liam’s arms closed around her. He grabbed her and swung her inside the basket. The balloon dipped sharply, and she gasped.
“I’ve got you.” He adjusted his grip, slid her down the length of his body. Her knees buckled, and he held her tight.
Breathless and shaking, she flung her arms around him and choked back a flood of tears. No use blubbering now.
“Easy.” He rubbed her back. “You’re all right, Kate.”
He was warm, solid, strong. She never wanted to let go. Her emotions were as fragile as the shredded harness. And just as apt to spin her into a deadly free fall.
He opened the burner jets. Flames hissed out, and the balloon drifted skyward. “Great night for a balloon ride.”
She strove to regain composure. “W-when did you learn to pilot a hot air balloon?”
“I’ve never actually flown one, but I’ve ridden in a balloon race with Grady piloting. Couldn’t be simpler. They operate with propane switches—just like a gas barbecue.”
“I’m glad I didn’t know your amateur status when I was dangling upside down nearly a quarter mile above terra firma.”
He eased her into a sitting position and then sat beside her. Their shoulders touched in the small basket, and he had to bend his long legs at the knees. Trembling, she leaned against him. “Where are we headed?”
“As soon as we clear the populated areas, I’ll bring her down. Until then, we fly where the wind takes us.” He held out his hand. “I brought your purse. Pass the phone, please.”
“Who are you calling?”
“Air O’Rourke.” He dialed. “Con? Why are you answering Grady’s phone? Yeah, I’ve heard of call forwarding, Neanderthal. I have a message for him.” He frowned. “You’re where?” A huge, goofy grin broke over his face. “Way to go!” He chuckled. “When you come down, inform Grady that we’re in a hot air balloon headed northeast. We’ll need an extraction. Hang tough, bro.”
Still grinning, he hung up. “Bailey passed out, and Con took her to the E.R. They thought it was the climate.” He laughed. “Different kind of heat. I’m going to be an uncle.” He slapped his knee. “Man, Mom and Letty, our adopted grandma, are gonna wig out.”
She remembered how torn she’d felt when she’d discovered Aubrey was on the way. The news had been bittersweet, heavy on the bitter. His delight was contagious. “Congratulations.”
“Yeah. I love rug rats. I want at least half a dozen.”
Then he must anticipate eventually making a commitment. Maybe he was just waiting for the right woman. A lump formed in her throat. Obviously, he hadn’t found her yet. “That’s pretty ambitious. Maybe you should start with one and work your way up.” He’d be a great dad. Loads of fun, but also caring, protective and responsible. Liam’s children would never doubt they were loved. At the thought of another woman sharing that special intimacy with him, her heart ached. Was she destined to be always on the outside, looking in on the happiness of others? “What about Murphy? Won’t he be jealous?”
“Nah, he adores kids. He’ll be a big ole mama sheepdog and herd them into line.” His green eyes sparkled, and she wished him that much joy always. She longed to be the one who brought the glow to his face, the light into his eyes. “What about you?”
What she wanted didn’t matter. She had to settle for what fate had dished out. And be satisfied. No matter how much it hurt. “We’ve already had this discussion.”
His brows lowered. “Nice step-ball-change, but you know exactly what I meant. You have a lot to give, Kate. You can’t tell me that loving someone else’s child is enough for you.”
She stared down at her leg and saw blood snaking down her calf. “I’m bleeding.” And not just on the outside.
He started. “How did you get cut?”
“I was hit by shrapnel. It’s not bad.”
His fingertips brushed her thigh. “It needs to be cleaned.”
“I carry antibacterial wipes and bandages in my purse for Aubrey. She’s klutzy like her auntie.” She dug for supplies. He took the package of wipes, and she scowled. “I can do it.”
He ignored her. One big hand closed gently over her thigh, and the other dabbed the blood on her leg.
“Have a hearing problem, Ace?”
His impish grin f
lashed. “Beg your pardon?”
She winced as the antiseptic burned. “Youch! Have mercy!”
“Sorry.” He pursed his full lips, bent and blew softly on the wound. “Better?”
Pain was displaced by tingling warmth. Substituting one torture for another. Better was relative. “Sort of.”
He carefully positioned two cartoon bandages over the cut. His concerned green gaze examined her from head to toe. He gently raised her arm. “Your shoulder is bleeding, too.”
“It’s fine.”
“Now you sound like a SWAT cop.” He chuckled. “Turn around.” Not that she had a choice. His insistent hands on her shoulders positioned her back to him. He shifted behind her, and the zipper on her dress hummed. He skimmed the black linen down her arm, baring her shoulder. “Does it hurt?”
“Not yet.” The adrenaline thrumming in her system dulled the pain. Cool wetness stroked her shoulder blade, followed quickly by the sting. She flinched, and Liam’s breath immediately feathered over her skin. Though his caress was as warm as the desert breeze, she shivered.
His tender fingers smoothed adhesive strips on her shoulder. She tipped her head back, soaked up the reassuring heat from his body, breathed in his clean, woodsy scent.
His fingers combed through her tangled hair. The gentle massage felt like heaven. “Sure you’re okay?”
He felt like a safe haven. If only she could curl up in his arms and ride out life’s storms. He’d stayed steadfastly by her side through the entire, horrible ordeal today. Constantly put himself in harm’s way to protect her. But was it the illusion of safety, like the damaged harness? She trusted him with her well-being. Could she trust him with her heart?
Or was he another person who would eventually let her fall?
She blurted out the truth. “I have no idea.”
Vivid neon colors glowed below, city noises silenced by distance. Stars glittered overhead. The basket swayed in the desert breeze, ropes gently creaking. Peaceful moments were so rare, she could count them on one hand. She soaked in contentment, like the desert soaked in rare, precious raindrops. Snuggled close and steeped in quiet companionship, they floated through the air in a serene waltz.
If only the dance would never end.
Liam gathered her hair to one side and zipped up her dress. His fingers curled around her neck, and he leaned forward and brushed a soft kiss across her nape. “Kate?” His murmur tingled down her spine. “We started something two years ago. Don’t you want to see how the story ends?”
She turned to face him. “I know how it ends. With you angry and disillusioned, and me with a broken heart.” She released a slow, sad sigh. “Armageddon.”
“That’s bullcrap.”
The waltz was over. Time to pay the piper. He’d finally recognized her handicap. She was obligated to complete the reality check. “I’m not capable of sustaining a relationship. I’m not just physically disabled. I’m emotionally disabled.”
His forehead creased. “Translate that into guy-speak.”
“My ability to trust has been damaged. I don’t trust anyone. And I…I’m…” It was hard beyond belief to confess her failings to this warm, open, sexy man. But if she didn’t, he might have expectations she’d only disappoint. “I’m…frigid.”
Shock blanked his features. His mouth opened and closed several times before words emerged. “I’ve held you, kissed you. Made love to you.” He snorted. “No way in hell.”
“You don’t understand.” She shook her head. “I…I’m all right at the beginning. But I can’t finish what I start.”
Anger stamped out his bewilderment. “Some impatient jerk has been feeding you a line, sweetheart.”
“It’s true.” She ducked her chin, wouldn’t meet his gaze.
“Kate, you are warm, vibrant and responsive.”
“No.” Tears welled in her eyes. “I’m cold and dead inside.”
He swore. “Honey, look at me.” He cupped her face in his hands. “I don’t know who’s made you so confused. But there is no such thing as a frigid woman—just incompetent men.”
“Well, the only man I’ve really been with is you.”
Horror rammed a spiked fist into his gut. He couldn’t speak. Couldn’t breathe. How could he have been so stupid, so insensitive? So freaking clueless. “That’s why you ran,” he whispered. “I rushed it. I hurt you. Scared you.” He’d rather be gelded than have caused her that kind of damage. He went hot and then cold, fought the urge to be sick. “Words aren’t adequate, but I’m sorry. I’ll find a way to make it up to you. To fix it.”
She gasped. “No, Liam!” She rose to her knees, gripped his shoulders. “It wasn’t you. I had a bad experience before.”
“Stop trying to salvage my feelings. I know damn well I was your first. And you said I was the only one.” He clenched his jaw. “I should be shot.”
“Now you listen to me.” She shook him. “I didn’t go through with it before. With the other guy.”
He battled for footing in the eye of the hurricane. Rage at himself. Fear for her. A blast of relief that her distress wasn’t his fault. “Tell me what happened.”
She stared at the horizon. “I’ve been geeky all my life. Unlike my pretty, popular sister, I never dated much.”
“What was wrong with those guys?”
“Most of them were afraid of intelligent, ‘artsy’ women.”
“I would have dated you in a hot second. I happen to love smart, creative women.” Of course, he hadn’t realized it until he’d met Kate. He’d been content with superficial party girls until she’d come along. He hadn’t known what he was missing.
“People bandy that word around all the time, don’t they? Like, ‘I love chocolate.’”
Torn, he hesitated. Though he longed to tell her how he felt, she didn’t want to hear it right now. As leery as she was about emotional involvement, she’d leap out of the balloon. He had to disarm her fears as carefully as a ticking time bomb. Or his hopes and dreams would get blown straight to hell.
She continued. “I was totally naive, a disaster waiting to happen. And boy, did it ever.” She grimaced. “Shortly before the dog attack, I attended a presentation at the restoration firm I worked for on reducing ecological harm from artists’ chemicals. The man who gave it invited me to lunch, and we started dating. Before long, I thought I was madly in love with him.”
So, she’d once believed herself capable of love. A cautiously positive sign. “You thought?”
“In hindsight, I was more in love with his attention and compliments than him. But after a lifetime of coming in last to my sister, I was starving for it. Stupid, I know. Now.”
“When you’re mired in a deeply emotional situation, it’s tough to step back and analyze.”
“Exactly my point.” She frowned. “After a few months, he asked me to marry him, but I wanted to wait. He insisted my qualms resulted from poor self-image, and he could help. When I got hurt, he was there for me one hundred and ten percent.”
“Good, he stepped up to the plate.”
“At first, it was great. I was terribly wounded, physically and mentally. Family support was sporadic, and I clung to him. He urged me to marry him, and I agreed. I was so relieved he still wanted me—even with an ugly deformity. Who else would?”
He touched her cheek. “I do, Kate.”
“A temporary bout of lust. It will fade in time.”
The cynicism in her eyes lanced his heart. He swore. “Time will prove you wrong.”
Her lips trembled, and she pressed them firmly together—as if she wanted to accept his challenge, but didn’t dare take the risk. “Do you want to hear the rest?”
“You know I do.”
“After I got out of the hospital, his concern became overbearing. He treated me like a helpless cripple. We had a huge fight.” Lost in the past, she absentmindedly rested her hand on his thigh, and his muscles tightened. “I was devastated. The next day, he sent a lavish bouquet of flowers and
an invitation to a ‘romantic makeup dinner’ at his apartment.”
“Smooth.”
“Very. One thing led to another, and we ended up in bed.”
His stomach cramped. The thought of her with another man made him want to tear the guy’s limbs off and feed them to him.
“Our misunderstandings kept compiling, like a car crash on the freeway that expands into a massive pileup. My scars bothered him more than he admitted. He didn’t say anything, but I saw the disgust in his eyes when my arm brushed against him.”
Liam covered her hand with his and gave her fingers a gentle squeeze. “He’s an idiot.”
“I felt like the idiot. It was like a switch flipped inside me and shut everything down. I couldn’t go through with it. He was hurt and angry.”
He battened down his rapidly rising temper. “Shallow, stupid and selfish. Not a winning combo.”
“And yet he insisted he still wanted to get married. Believe me, I didn’t need more pity. I got plenty from friends and coworkers.” She sighed. “I questioned his motives. We had another fight, and I yelled that I didn’t need a mercy…um…” She flushed. “Anyway, I threw his engagement ring in his face and slammed out in a righteous huff.”
“Good for you.”
“No, I reacted emotionally, instead of acting logically.” She scowled again. “He may have tried his best to adjust to my injury, but wasn’t capable of accepting it. The scars are ugly even after they’ve faded. They were really horrifying at first. Freddy Kruger had nothing on me.”
His heart fisted. “Nothing about you is ugly, honey.”
“Don’t blow sunshine up my skirt. I have twenty-twenty vision.” When he started to argue, she jumped in. “Anyway, I went back to apologize the next day. By then, I knew I couldn’t marry him. I wasn’t sure whether it was him or me, but I had too many doubts. However, he’d stuck by me through an incredibly difficult time. I owed him a civilized discussion.”
“You were more forgiving than I would have been.”
“You have the most generous heart I’ve ever known.” She gave him a wobbly smile. “He wouldn’t let me in. He told me at the front door he’d realized overnight that I was right. We’d stayed together for the wrong reasons. That it was over, and he was fine with it.”
