But Mitch, having once started to talk in group, was now unstoppable. It was like a dammed-up fountain suddenly breaking its bonds and pouring itself out in an endlessly flowing gush of water.
‘I thought about it all the time,’ he continued, his eyes darting restlessly around the room. ‘Coke and strippers! All the time! Shit, you wouldn’t believe the amount of money I blew on that, back in the day! And then we heard they were actually doing it! Those two!’
His finger wobbled between Skye and Joe, as if anyone in the room needed precise indications about who he was referring to.
‘And then I went off the deep end!’ he said, snatching his hand back and using it to grate his cheek again. ‘I mean, they were actually doing it! In here! I thought I was gonna go nuts! And then I thought, shit, I’m actually a sex addict as well! Because I just kept having all these pictures in my head – of her—’
‘Eew,’ Skye said, wriggling uncomfortably in her seat as Mitch stared at her beadily.
‘Mitch—’ Dr Lucy tried again.
‘But I don’t even blame you two!’ Mitch went on, looking from Joe to Skye. ‘I don’t blame you, man!’ he said to Joe, giggling in a way that made Skye even more uncomfortable. ‘I’d totally hit that! Are you kidding me? You know who messed this all up? Who put all these thoughts in my head? You!’ He pointed accusingly at Petal, who jumped in shock.
‘What the hell were you doing,’ he continued, ‘sneaking around and taking photos of them? You put all these ideas in my head! All these pictures! I mean, before I was just imagining stuff, but after I knew they’d actually been doing it, I couldn’t stop picturing it! It was like I was going insane!’
You are freaking insane, Skye thought, her eyes meeting Joe’s for an agonized moment of embarrassment. Even Joe, who never lost his cool, had squinched up his face in an expression that said, louder than words, how much he wished to be somewhere else, anywhere but here.
‘Mitch, do you need to take a break?’ Dr Raf said.
‘She needs to take a break!’ Mitch said, narrowing his eyes at Petal, his finger never wavering from her. ‘She shouldn’t be here! I don’t blame them.’ His head wobbled again between Skye and Joe. ‘They were just doing what comes naturally! But her – sneaking around, spying on them, taking photos, showing them to the papers—’
Skye realized suddenly what this was about: Mitch was dying of frustration that he hadn’t been the one to spy on her and Joe. He couldn’t bear it that Petal had seen them, and he hadn’t.
‘You – this is all your fault!’ Mitch was almost sobbing now as he accused Petal. ‘You ruined everything! You got them kicked out . . . we were such a nice group . . . you, sneaking around, spying on them . . . you spoiled little rich kid with nothing better to do! You and all your daddy issues!’
‘Mitch, please,’ Amber said. ‘You’re really picking on her—’
Petal’s head was ducked, her cheeks flushed red with anger and embarrassment.
‘What are you! Some sort of peeping Tom?’ Mitch snapped at Petal. ‘You should be ashamed of yourself!’
‘Mitch!’ Dr Lucy leaned forward and held up a hand right in Mitch’s face, which actually had the effect of silencing him. ‘Please respect the rules of the session!’
Oh, thank God, Skye thought, relaxing slightly in her chair. Finally, things are calming down. I never thought I’d be grateful to Dr Lucy . . .
‘Having said that,’ Dr Lucy said, looking around the circle of chairs, ‘I think Mitch is vocalizing an important outstanding issue for the group, which we do need to resolve to give everyone some closure. Particularly as it’s Brian’s final day. We want to send him out into the world with no unfinished business here.’
She smiled smugly at Petal.
‘It’s true that Skye and Joe went behind everyone’s backs,’ Dr Lucy went on, ‘and they’ve apologized for that. But the real issue of betrayal is when someone takes private business in rehab to the outside world, and that is what Mitch is confronting Petal about.’ Dr Lucy folded her arms across her chest. ‘I think we all feel betrayed by you, Petal, don’t we? This would be a really good opportunity for you to talk about what you did, and apologize to the group. I’m concerned that you may be underestimating the seriousness of your action. This is the worst betrayal of group trust we’ve ever had in Cascabel history.’
‘Lucy, this is neither the time nor the place—’ Dr Raf said urgently, twisting to try to look her in the face.
Good luck with that, Skye thought, staring wide-eyed at the scene developing in front of her. She’s got the bit between her teeth now.
‘This whole situation has been very difficult for all of us!’ Dr Lucy was saying, her tone as bright and sharp as the diamond on her finger. ‘Very difficult indeed! And you, Petal, are the one who’s let us down the most!’
Petal raised her head. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, taking quantities of her eyeliner with them. Her swollen eyes were as red as her cheeks, and just as angry.
‘I said sorry!’ she said furiously. ‘I said I was sorry, and I didn’t mean those photos to be published, and you’re still going on at me, which is totally unfair!’ She narrowed her eyes at Dr Lucy. ‘I’m not the person betraying everyone round here! You’ve been flashing your ring at us like it’s a sodding torch – well, you should look at your own fiancé!’
Across the circle, Skye saw Amber jump as Petal continued: ‘I know he and Amber were doing something! I had my session with Dr Raf after Amber, and I know something was going on between them! You should have seen how they looked afterwards!’
Petal was panting now in anger. ‘You think you’re so above us all!’ she said, jumping up, hands on hips, staring down at Dr Lucy. ‘Well, you’re not, you smug cow! You’re not! How dare you lecture me about betrayal, like I was the worst person in this room – while your fiancé’s been cheating on you with a patient!’
Practically everyone gasped in shock. Skye heard her own near-yelp of surprise; she couldn’t believe Petal had gone this far, had actually accused Dr Raf and Amber of getting it on.
‘OK, I’m calling time out,’ Joe said, standing up too. ‘This is out of control. I’m sure no one actually believes what Petal just said. I sure as hell don’t—’
‘You bitch!’ Dr Lucy shrieked, coming out of her seat as if she’d been ejected from a plane.
Petal squared up to her, but she wasn’t Dr Lucy’s target.
‘I knew something was going on!’ Dr Lucy screamed, launching herself at Amber.
Amber didn’t have time to get out of the armchair: it was Brian, sitting next to her, who lunged forward and tackled Dr Lucy, dragging her back. Dr Lucy landed awkwardly on Brian’s lap, his arms around her waist in a parody of an embrace.
‘You bitch!’ she yelled at Amber, kicking at Brian. ‘I saw you making eyes at him! I saw you doing that whole poor-little-me routine!’
‘I did not!’ Amber yelled back, shoving back her chair and standing up. ‘I did not do that! Believe me, if there’s one man I’ve met in my life who doesn’t think I’m some poor little thing who needs to be rescued, it’s Dr Raf! He respects me! He taught me how to think of myself as a grown woman!’
‘Oh, I bet he did!’ Dr Lucy snarled, elbowing Brian in the stomach to make him let her go. With a desperate whooping sound, Brian slackened his grip, and Dr Lucy was on her feet again.
‘Ladies!’ Joe got between her and Amber, all six foot three of him, wide as a brick wall. ‘Please! Let’s all calm down here!’
Skye had pushed her chair back a little, to avoid getting trampled or fallen on. Glancing over, she caught Petal’s eye.
‘You really stirred up the shit this time!’ she mouthed.
‘She deserved it!’ Petal muttered back.
Yeah, but did Amber and Dr Raf? Skye thought. She caught Mitch’s eye again – he was staring at her very creepily, as if he were imagining her and Joe together. Well, I guess not all the guys here fell for Amber. I got the weirdo freak crushing on m
e.
‘Hey, lady—’ Dr Lucy flailed at Joe, who caught her shoulders and held her away from him. ‘Calm down, OK? Petal was just running her mouth. You were pretty hard on her.’
‘Lucy,’ Dr Raf said, coming up next to Joe, ‘this is totally inappropriate—’
‘Don’t you talk to me about appropriate, you bastard!’
Dr Lucy wrenched free of Joe and swung round on Dr Raf, her eyes glittering angrily.
‘We need to stop this session,’ Dr Raf said very calmly and quietly, raising his hands to waist level and making a pushing motion down. ‘This is doing no good. Lucy, we need to stop this session right now, OK?’
Dr Lucy took a deep breath, getting herself back under control.
‘We obviously need to talk,’ Dr Raf said. ‘But this isn’t exactly the forum.’ He even managed a wry smile. ‘This was supposed to be all about Brian – Brian, I can’t apologize to you enough—’
Everyone swivelled to look at Brian, who was still clutching his stomach and coughing from the blow Dr Lucy had landed with her elbow.
‘Dude, no need,’ Brian wheezed, holding up one hand. ‘That was the best last day in rehab ever.’
‘Lucy, let’s take a moment,’ Dr Raf said, reaching out and taking hold of his fiancée’s upper arm.
Everyone caught their breath, but Dr Lucy didn’t swing round and punch him in the face; instead, her shoulders sagged, as if in defeat, and she let him lead her away to the windows at the far side of the meeting room.
‘Whooh,’ Joe said, letting out his breath in a long rush. ‘Intense.’
‘I’m overloaded!’ Mitch announced loudly to no one in particular, getting up from his chair. ‘I’m overloaded!’ He stumped across the room, head ducked, and slammed his way through the door, disappearing from sight.
‘Damn, I’m glad I didn’t have to share with him,’ Joe said. ‘What a nutcase.’
‘Brian . . .’ Petal went over to Brian’s chair and ducked down beside him. ‘I’m really sorry about all this. I didn’t mean to mess up your leaving day—’
‘You do like to be the centre of attention,’ Brian said, grinning at her. ‘Can you get me some water?’
As Petal went to find Brian a bottle of water, Skye was taken completely aback to realize that Joe had approached her.
‘Come out into the garden with me, willya?’ he asked.
She looked around quickly, but, for the first time that afternoon, no one was paying any attention to them. No one stopped them as they left the meeting room; there was no staff member in the corridor to ask them what they were doing.
A couple of people Skye didn’t recognize were lying on the loungers, smoking, at the far end of the garden. Her heart beating fast with nerves and excitement, Skye went over to the fountain and sat down on the wide stone rim. Joe followed, propping his hips against it, pulling out a pack of cigarettes from the back pocket of his trousers.
‘So,’ he began, and then fell silent, staring past her.
What’s going on? Skye thought frantically. He can’t have asked me out here just to have someone to smoke with! She glanced up at him under her lashes. He looked . . . Confused, she realized. This is the first time I’ve ever seen Joe looking less than sure of himself.
‘Why didn’t you try to find me after we got kicked out of here?’ she blurted out, her voice wistful. ‘You didn’t bother to track me down, but you got in touch with Amber . . .’ She could have kicked herself for sounding needy as soon as the words were out. But she couldn’t help it. She cared about him, a lot, and she’d thought she’d never see him again.
Joe looked down at her, seeing the naked imploring expression in her eyes. ‘Babe,’ he said gently, ‘I bumped into Amber in a restaurant, OK? Yeah, I got my assistant to get her number, but it wasn’t like I got some PI to find out where she was.’
‘Really?’ Skye’s face brightened at once.
It’s ridiculous how much this means to me, she thought. But I can’t help it. When I’m around Joe, I’m like a sixteen-year-old with her first crush.
‘Sure it is,’ Joe said reassuringly. ‘I was happy to see her. But I had enough shit of my own to be sorting out after everything that went down here, you know?’ Joe shrugged his wide shoulders. ‘You wouldn’t believe the hell Carmen and Jen put me through. Carmen yells and Jen sort of shrills at you. It’s like being attacked by an Alsatian and a Chihuahua.’
Skye couldn’t help smiling.
‘That’s better,’ Joe said approvingly, reaching down to trace her lips with his thumb. ‘And hon,’ he added ruefully, ‘it’s not like you just wanted me for my blue eyes, is it?’ He tapped a cigarette out of the packet. ‘You were filming me all the time. That hurt a bit, I have to tell you.’
Skye bit her lip. ‘I wish I hadn’t,’ she said sadly. ‘I really wish I hadn’t. And I was just going to keep it for myself. If Petal hadn’t gone to the papers, I’d never have shown that film to anyone.’ She managed a little grin. ‘Except you.’
‘Well, it was hot,’ Joe admitted, lighting up his cigarette. ‘I watched it a few times on the net.’ He grinned as he blew a smoke ring. ‘We put on a damn good show, didn’t we?’
Skye took a deep breath. ‘Joe, I’m going to tell you everything,’ she said.
‘OK,’ he said, twisting to look at her fully. ‘Fire away.’
This is my last shot, Skye knew with cold clear certainty. If he walks out of here without feeling any connection between us, I’ll never see him again.
‘The National Investigator did hire me,’ she said, putting her hand on his big thigh, as if to hold him there, make sure he couldn’t leave till she’d finished. ‘There was this journalist I knew from the club I worked at in New York. He picked me out and flew me to LA to set you up. They gave me the bag with the camera, everything. Paid Dave to get it past the intake search.’
‘Huh,’ Joe said, taken aback. ‘So when I thought I was being so cute, bribing Dave to get us somewhere to be alone, he was already on the payroll?’ He shook his head. ‘I guess I’m not quite as sneaky as I thought.’
‘But then,’ Skye pressed on, ‘then I realized I was really attracted to you. And I don’t mean just sex.’ She couldn’t help smiling. ‘I mean, everyone must want to have sex with you.’
‘Back atcha, babe,’ Joe said amiably.
‘I like you,’ Skye insisted. ‘I really like you. I like talking to you. I like hanging out with you. I like just – being with you, even when we’re not saying anything at all.’
Then she realized that she had Joe’s full attention. He was looking down at her, a genuine smile sparking in his eyes.
‘That’s it?’ he asked, taking another drag of his cigarette, his eyes never leaving her face. ‘You like me?’
‘What am I supposed to say?’ Skye said crossly. ‘That I’m madly in love with you? Well, I’m not! I don’t know you that well! I’m not going to bullshit you!’
‘I guess you’re not,’ Joe said, smiling. ‘Well, hey. I can live with being liked.’
‘Don’t make fun of me!’ Skye pulled away from him, really angry now. ‘I know I should never have sold that video to the Investigator, and I’m really sorry I did! Not just for you, for me. I shouldn’t have done it. But I was out in LA without any money, I didn’t want to go back to stripping –’ all her resentment burst out now – ‘and it wasn’t me you were helping with jobs! I got some auditions, and the only one I nailed without the director asking me to blow him, you’d fixed up with Amber to go in, and he picked her because she was a “friend” of yours! I lost that part because of you!’
‘That sucks,’ Joe said sincerely, covering her hand on his leg with his own, squeezing it gently. ‘I’m really sorry about that.’
Skye refused to look at him.
‘You took care of Amber,’ she said resentfully, trailing her fingers in the water, sounding more than ever like a sixteen-year-old. ‘You didn’t even think about me. You didn’t think about what I’d do, k
icked out of here like that, all the way across the country from where I live . . .’
‘You know what? You’re right,’ Joe admitted. ‘I should’ve thought about that. We got busted together. I should’ve done something to make sure you were OK afterwards. Believe me, that point’s already been made to me, loud and clear.’ He grinned. ‘But I did enjoy reading your tell-all about what it was like having sex with me in a store cupboard.’
Skye writhed with humiliation. ‘They wrote most of that themselves,’ she mumbled.
‘As long as it was you that told ’em to put in that story I have a big dick,’ Joe said. ‘’Cause I do, right? You weren’t just making that up ’cause it sounded better for the Investigator?’
‘Of course you have a big dick!’ Skye snapped at him, swinging round to look at him. ‘You’re just trying to embarrass me now!’ She made a face at him. ‘Well, let me tell you something – you can’t embarrass a stripper. We’ve seen everything there is to see.’
‘You know, that shouldn’t be a turn-on, but it is,’ Joe drawled. ‘Maybe I am a sex addict after all.’
‘I hate you!’ Skye snapped at him.
‘Really, babe? I thought you liked me,’ Joe said teasingly.
Skye raised her hand to slap the smirk off his face, but Joe batted it away as easily as swatting a fly; he leaned into her in countermotion, and the next thing she knew, he was kissing her.
I should push him away, she thought swiftly. I should make it harder for him – not just kiss him back straight away, make him work for it, at least a little bit longer—
Oh, who am I kidding?
Her arms wrapped round his neck, pulling him closer. His hands slid down to her waist, picking her up as if she weighed nothing, settling her on his lap. Skye could have burst out crying in sheer relief at being back in Joe’s arms again, kissing him, his mouth hard and eager on hers. He was so confident, so sure of himself; it was one of the things she loved most about him.
‘Ah, baby,’ Joe said against her mouth, ‘I forgot how good you feel – how come I forgot how damn good you feel?’
‘Back atcha,’ she said, curling even tighter into him, feeling the rumble of his laughter in his chest as she echoed his earlier words.
Bad Girls Page 38
