‘I know I won’t fall in love with them,’ Amber yelled back, ‘because I’m already in love with someone, Matka!’
Slava fell back, stunned. ‘You’re in love? Who is it?’
‘It doesn’t matter,’ Amber said, beginning to feel a throbbing at her temples that indicated a massive headache was on its way. ‘He’s engaged to someone else.’
‘He’s going to marry someone else?’ Slava screamed. ‘And for this you turn down Joe Jeffreys, and Tony, who gives us this house to live in? For a man who’s going to marry another woman? Bo e môj!’ She hit her chest with both fists now, her rings clinking against the heavy chains of her necklace. ‘I kill myself! I kill myself! My daughter is crazy!’
Amber walked towards the staircase, her head pounding. ‘I’m going to go and lie down,’ she said, as calmly as she could. ‘I have a terrible headache.’
‘Good!’ Slava yelled. ‘You lie down! And when you wake up, you come back down here and you tell me you know you were crazy and you’re not crazy any more, OK? You tell me you pick Joe or Tony and you let them take you out, you go to dinner, you see what happens! You tell me you stop thinking about this man who marries someone else!’
Every stair up to her bedroom felt three feet high. Amber leaned heavily on the banister, dragging herself upstairs, vividly aware of Slava standing in the atrium, staring up at her, watching her go.
I meant it, Matka. Every word. I know you don’t believe it yet, but you will. I’ll convince you, no matter what it takes.
Amber wasn’t just bracing herself to climb the stairs. She knew she was in for the fight of her life.
Once and for all, she was going to have to stand up to her mother.
Petal
‘Amber! What’re you doing here?’ Petal said, throwing the door open, dumbfounded to see who was standing on the doorstep of Linda’s house.
‘Can I come in?’ Amber pushed up her sunglasses to the crown of her head so that she could look Petal directly in the eyes. Her expression was so serious that Petal got butterflies in her stomach.
Uh-oh.
‘Okay,’ Petal said nervously, stepping back to let Amber come in. ‘Um, want to come out to the pool? My mum’s in the living room and she’s waiting for a phone call – she’s in a bit of a state at the moment, you might want to steer clear of her.’
‘All right,’ Amber said, following Petal through the kitchen, outside into the scraggy garden, across the dry brownish grass verge of the pool.
‘I hang out here a lot,’ Petal said, stepping up onto the covered sitting area in front of the pool house. ‘It’s shady, and I can’t take the sun.’ She gestured at her white skin as she flopped into one of the lounge chairs.
‘Sorry, it’s all a bit shabby,’ she said, looking around her at the sun-damaged wood, the peeling paint of the pool house, the fraying canvas pulling away from the aluminium frames of the lounge chairs. ‘You want a drink or something? Water, I mean,’ she added hurriedly. ‘Or Coke.’
Amber shook her head.
‘This is about yesterday,’ Petal said, sighing. ‘I really fucked up. I’m sorry. Brian read me the riot act, and he was totally right. Dr Lucy just pressed my buttons.’ She grimaced. ‘As Mitch would say, she triggers me like mad.’
Petal curled up like a ball in her chair, pulling up her legs. She looked frankly at Amber.
‘I really resented you at Cascabel,’ she confessed. ‘You’re so beautiful, and everyone was so sorry for you. They all wanted to take care of you.’
Amber rolled her eyes. ‘I’m pretty sick of that,’ she said. ‘I need to start taking care of myself.’
‘Yeah. Me too,’ Petal said. ‘I’m not sure I know how.’
‘Let me know when you work it out,’ Amber said, only half-joking. ‘I could do with all the suggestions I can get.’
‘Ditto.’ Petal pulled a face. ‘Well, this is weird,’ she said, looking down at her knees as she wrapped her arms around them. ‘I’ve, like, been resenting you for ages, and now we’ve sort of got this stuff in common. I feel a bit of an idiot.’
‘Petal—’ Amber leaned forward, fixing Petal with an intense stare.
She doesn’t look like she did at Cascabel, Petal realized. She’s usually all dressed up like she’s going out somewhere posh – makeup, hair, jewellery, everything perfect.
Amber didn’t look scruffy – she probably wouldn’t know how, Petal reflected drily – but her hair was pulled off her face in a ponytail, her skin looked bare of makeup, and, though her clothes fit her like a glove, they were a simple pair of jeans and a grey marl T-shirt.
I get it, Petal thought. She’s not messing around.
‘Did you already talk to the Investigator about what you said yesterday?’ Amber continued. ‘About me and Dr Raf?’
Petal stared at her, taken aback. ‘No,’ she said. ‘I—’
‘You mustn’t!’ Amber’s eyes were huge as they focused on Petal. ‘It’s totally not true! But you could get Dr Raf in so much trouble . . .’
‘Look, I—’
‘Nothing happened,’ Amber insisted, riding over her. ‘At least, Dr Raf did nothing wrong. You have to believe that. I did have a crush on him –’ she blushed – ‘but then, who doesn’t?’
Petal found herself nodding in agreement. It’s true. Everyone sort of had a crush on Dr Raf. Even Daniyel would go all soft and mushy-eyed when she talked to him, and Daniyel was hard as nails.
‘I pretty much threw myself at him,’ Amber admitted. A blush rose again in her cheeks. ‘You were right, there was something.’
‘I knew it,’ Petal said complacently. ‘I’m not an idiot. I mean, I saw my dad with women going after him all the time. I knew there was that –’ she searched briefly for the word, and then came up with it – ‘atmosphere at the end of your sessions.’
‘Well,’ Amber said, ‘I had a huge crush on him and I did my best to get him to – you know. But he turned me down.’
‘It probably happens all the time,’ Petal said wisely. ‘I mean, he’s so gorgeous. And he really understands what you’re going through.’ She fiddled with a thread that was coming off the canvas of her chair, looking sad. ‘I miss my sessions with him. I wish I hadn’t fucked up like that and got kicked out.’
She looked at Amber. ‘You shouldn’t feel bad about it,’ she advised kindly. ‘I’m sure he’s really used to women trying to get off with him.’
Amber’s expression was unreadable. ‘So you see,’ she said insistently,‘you mustn’t go to the Investigator. On top of what happened before, it would be a terrible scandal. Dr Raf would be in real trouble. Everyone would say “no smoke without fire”.’
She reached out and pressed Petal’s knee. ‘He was so nice to you,’ she said. ‘I know Dr Lucy’s a total bitch—’
Petal snorted. ‘Understatement of the fucking year,’ she said.
‘But Dr Raf doesn’t deserve you dragging him through the mud, just to get back at Dr Lucy,’ Amber finished, her voice passionate.
‘Honestly,’ Petal said, ‘I never actually meant to go to the Investigator. I mean, I’ve done enough damage. I just threw it out to get back at Dr Lucy.’
Amber’s shoulders sagged in relief. ‘Oh, thank God,’ she said fervently.
‘You must think I’m a real bitch,’ Petal said, rather sadly.
‘No!’ Amber looked embarrassed.
‘Hey, I fucked up once,’ Petal finished. ‘Give a dog a bad name. It’s OK.’ She grimaced again. ‘I know it’s my own fault.’
‘Petal!’ came a scream from inside the main house.
‘Oh God,’ Petal said, hunching up.
Petal had got to know her mother’s moods fairly well, even though she hadn’t been staying with her that long: just from the way Linda had yelled her name, Petal had the sense that bad news was just about to be delivered. Sure enough, a second later, Linda burst out of the kitchen door, looking around her wildly.
‘Petal!’ she screeched. ‘Where
the hell are you?’
‘I’m here, Mum! Where I always am!’ Petal called, rolling her eyes.
‘Don’t talk to me like that!’ Linda stormed around the pool. Her breasts bounced inside her skimpy white halter top so violently that Petal almost expected one of them to detach itself and come flying off.
‘I wish she’d wear a bra,’ Petal said sotto voce to Amber. ‘It’s really embarrassing when she doesn’t.’
Linda caught the kitten heel of her diamanté-studded flip-flop on a loose tile, and stumbled.
‘Fucking piece of crap!’ she wailed furiously. ‘Everything’s just fucking falling apart! And all you do is sit around all day – I thought your father was going to send some money for your keep, but he’s always been a tight bastard – all those millions and he’s as tight as a bloody virgin’s arsehole – bloody s—’
‘Oh God, here we go,’ Petal said wearily to Amber. ‘Sorry about this.’
‘VH1 called!’ Linda had reached the pool house, and stopped, hands on hips, staring furiously at her daughter. ‘They don’t want the series! Can you believe it? I thought that meeting went so well!’
Petal stared at her, genuinely taken aback. ‘So did I,’ she said, biting her lip. ‘God, I really thought they liked us.’
‘Well, they didn’t! They didn’t fucking like us!’ Linda wept. ‘I was counting on that!’
Her breasts heaved terrifyingly as she said suddenly: ‘Do you think if I told them your father would make a guest appearance—’
‘Mum.’ Petal shook her head. ‘He won’t. You know he won’t do some shitty little show on VH1.’
‘The Osbournes did!’ Linda said angrily.
‘Yeah, but Ozzy’s the star and he was out of it the whole time,’ Petal pointed out. ‘One thing you can’t say about Dad, he isn’t exactly out of it. Unless he’s meditating, I suppose.’
‘Ugh!’ Linda dragged on one of her bleached-blonde plaits.
I hate when she does her hair like that, Petal thought, writhing. It’s like she’s trying to pretend that she’s my age. Which she totally isn’t.
‘I should just take my fucking clothes off!’ Linda said, sighing and collapsing to the grass.
‘Mum!’ Petal said in shock. ‘There’s someone else here!’ She gestured frantically at Amber, hoping her presence would prevent her mother from stripping off and running round the pool naked, or whatever she was planning to do.
‘No, I mean for Playboy!’ Linda said crossly. ‘They used to ask me all the time!’ She sighed. ‘Offered me a ton of money too! But I was trying to act, and I thought I shouldn’t do nude shots if people were going to take me seriously. God, the world’s changed. Nowadays you do sex tapes if you want people to notice you.’ She brightened. ‘Maybe I should—’
‘No, Mum!’ Petal said in panic.
‘Bobby and I made some,’ Linda said. ‘And he didn’t take them when he left.’
‘Oh God.’ Petal got up. ‘I can’t listen to this, Mum.’
‘I should probably be going,’ Amber said, standing up too.
‘Wow,’ Linda said, her heavily made-up eyes widening as she took in Amber’s appearance. ‘You done Playboy yet, honey? You should.’
‘Mum, please!’ Petal said. ‘Amber’s, like, a supermodel. She’s done Vogue and Harper’s and everything.’
‘She’d make a damn sight more posing for straight men than the gay guys who read Vogue,’ Linda sniffed. ‘Hey! I meant to tell you! That stripper girl, the one you caught at rehab fucking Joe Jeffreys?’ She snorted. ‘I watched that online. Christ. Did you see it? She’s got some imagination.’
‘She isn’t even drunk,’ Petal muttered miserably to Amber. ‘She talks like this when she’s sober. Can you believe it?’
‘What?’ Linda yelled. ‘Don’t whisper! It’s rude!’
‘What were you saying about Skye?’ Amber asked her urgently. ‘The stripper from rehab?’
‘Oh, yeah! She’s doing a shoot for Hustler, I heard. Smart girl. Get it while you can, I say.’ Linda sighed. ‘You think I’d be too old for Playboy?’ She put her hands under her breasts and weighed them thoughtfully.
‘Hustler?’ Amber said in horror. ‘That’s much worse than Playboy!’
‘Hey,’ Linda said, shrugging. ‘She’s already got her coochie out on film for the world to see.’
‘Yeah, but that’s different from letting someone put a camera between your legs, Mum,’ Petal said, wincing. ‘That’s just disgusting. It’s like you’re a bit of meat in a butcher’s shop.’
‘You wait till you get old and no one wants you any more, Little Miss Snob!’ Linda said, hauling herself to her feet. ‘You’ll be happy for someone to offer you a nude shoot! You wait till your bastard ex-husband dumps your daughter on you without even giving you any money for her room and board!’
She stormed back to the house, slamming the door behind her.
‘I’ve got to get out of here,’ Petal said miserably, collapsing back into her chair. ‘Can you believe, Dr Raf actually thought it would be good for me to get to know my mother? “Build some bridges”, he said.’ She sighed deeply. ‘That’s going really well, isn’t it?’
But Amber was already heading for the door through which Linda had just disappeared.
Skye
I’m going to puke, Skye thought, putting her hands over her stomach as she felt a heaving in her guts.
‘Hey!’ The girl who was spray-tanning Skye knocked her hands away. ‘I gotta get it even.’ On her knees in front of Skye, she glanced up. ‘You don’t need to worry,’ she added in a friendly voice. ‘I’m contouring you a bit, but you don’t need it. You’re in great shape. Can you open your legs a bit more?’
Skye obeyed, taking a deep breath to make the nausea recede.
‘Cool. They waxed you already, right?’ the girl said, sticking her thumb into the inner crease of one of Skye’s legs and opening her up to take a look. ‘Oh yeah. Nice and smooth. Your backside should be dry by now. You wanna sit down on that chair and let me touch up your pussy?’
Well, this is classy, Skye thought, trying to cheer herself up as she duly sat down on the chair (an old wooden one that wouldn’t show stains from the self-tanner) and splayed her legs wide so the girl could make sure the fake tan round her crotch was even.
I guess for them it’s just like those women who do waxing. Or doctors. Seen one pussy, seen ’em all.
‘Sometimes they like the natural look,’ the girl observed as she sprayed and wiped Skye’s most sensitive area. ‘Well, not, like, really natural.’ She giggled. ‘’Cause that would be gross. But, you know, a landing strip, or a little triangle or something. But for this one they want you all glossy, don’t they? We’ll oil you up once the tan’s dry. You’re on the plastic furniture, aren’t you?’
‘Yeah,’ Skye said, as the girl seemed to expect a response.
‘I saw that! Super-sexy! They might want us to pour some more oil on you too. You know, while you’re posing.’ She giggled again. ‘I’ll be standing by.’
The set for Skye’s Hustler shoot was like a grown-up version of a kids’ playroom. Blue plastic gym mats laid side by side and end to end on the floor of the studio, like gigantic tiles. A big yellow plastic chair, which the photographer was making his assistant bend over in various poses, to get the lighting right. A bright red Pilates ball, over which they wanted Skye to do a nude backbend. And a green vinyl sofa – fresh from a porn shoot, apparently.
Skye’s blonde hair was fluffed into bunches, layers of fake lashes so thickly applied that it was hard to keep her eyes open. Her only costume would be a pair of clear plastic heels, five inches high.
Oh, wait, she thought sarcastically. Don’t forget the litres of baby oil.
She looked down at the girl between her legs, who was nudging them still further apart, her head inches from Skye’s naked crotch.
‘They missed a couple of hairs,’ she said, clucking her tongue. ‘Lucky I spotted that – retouching
costs a fucking fortune. Hang on, I’ll just get the tweezers.’
It’s just like stripping, Skye observed. In the end, everyone’s paying way more attention to your pussy than to your face.
She took another deep breath. Thirty grand, she said to herself. Thirty grand after the agent’s cut. Just for opening your legs. Thirty grand’s a deposit on an apartment rental here in LA. A cheap car, so you can get to auditions. And enough to float you for a couple of months, while you try to snag some acting gigs.
‘Hey! Looking great!’ the photographer said, sticking his head round the corner of the scrim. ‘They’re gonna oil you up, right?’
Should I close my legs? Or is that totally dumb? It’s not like I’m not going to be spreading them in a few minutes anyway . . .
In a split-second decision, Skye compromised by sliding her legs half shut – not completely closed, because that would look weirdly prudish, but enough so that her knees were pointed towards him.
‘Yeah,’ she said. ‘When my tan’s dry.’
‘Cool! Can’t wait to get bending you over some furniture!’ He grinned at her lasciviously. ‘Hey, those tits. They real?’
‘They had a bit of help,’ Skye admitted.
‘Great! They’ll stand up nicely when we get you over that ball. Wow.’ He waggled his eyebrows. ‘Take this as a big compliment, OK! I’m getting a boner. And believe me, that doesn’t always happen.’
‘Uh, thanks,’ Skye said, trying as hard not to stare at his crotch area as he was ogling hers.
‘I got the tweezers,’ said the makeup girl, appearing with them.
‘Great! And baby, lots of oil on her pussy, okay?’ He licked his lips. ‘I wanna see that thing shining like fucking glass.’
‘You got it.’
Thirty grand, Skye said to herself, really loudly now. THIRTY GRAND.
Joe hadn’t been in touch. Of course he hadn’t. It had been three days since the reunion at Cascabel, and this time she’d really thought she had a shot at him. The way he looked at me, the way he kissed me – the way he teased me – I know we had a real connection. But not enough of one, I guess.
Bad Girls Page 40
