“Not siren,” I finished.
“Yes, and she was trying to save your unworthy butt in there. Besides, she doesn’t even use her ability.”
“Mmmffffllllaaaahhhh,” he got out.
“It really isn’t my fault,” I put in, ignoring the fact that I was the one who pissed off Max to start with. Why rehash tiny details at a time like this?
Mia said something, and Vance’s face relaxed into a normal state.
“That is a neat spell. Does it work on kids?” I couldn’t resist asking. I could think of lots of practical applications for that particular spell, but Vance spoke over me.
“What is to stop her from doing it again? Not to mention, if I don’t kill her, every other vampire out there is going to try.”
“Well, they don’t know she is here, so why would they?” Mia’s tone was so logical, it was hard to refute her.
“They are all dead! We killed them off!”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t think vampires were real. How did you word it? ‘Every so often, in life, we find that things are not as we thought them to be?’ Well, lookie here. Back at ya, buddy.” I waved my arm in anger and light followed it in a streamer. I furrowed my brow, for once not worrying about wrinkles. “Uh, what the hell was that?” I waved it again. Nothing happened. I looked to Mia.
She shrugged. “Have you ever fed the hunger before?”
She had her clinical, let’s-learn-something-new tone. I kind of hated when she used that one on me. “No, why the hell would I?”
“Quit swearing. If this is the first time you fed it, then who knows what you gained from it. And you fed it good. I mean a bar full of people and a vampire—”
“Speaking of me, let me go Mia or I swear—”
She ignored him. “No one really tracked what all you guys can do. I mean, in all my reading—”
“You read up on sirens?”
“Well, yeah, why not? Didn’t you?”
I glared at her. “Because there aren’t any.”
“Well, there is you—”
I brushed off my pants. It was really snowing good and the cold seemed penetrate my very bones. I just noticed that I was only wearing the leather halter top and jeans in a snow storm. All the power seemed to have thrown off my natural senses. “I told you and my mother, I am not going to be a siren.”
“What? That’s like me saying, oh, I am not going to be a vampire. You don’t really get to choose what you are.” Vance looked at me like I was crazy. It was kind of comical, really. His body was still stuck in ready-to-attack pose, but his head was tilted and his expression incredulous.
“I choose what I am and am not going to do with my life. I am a normal woman.” I stomped my foot and the entire sidewalk shook. The sign above my head flickered and waved a little more furiously.
I blinked balefully.
“Yeah, cause that seems to be working out great,” muttered Vance. “Let me go, Mia. I won’t try to kill her…now.”
“Whatever.” Mia waived her hand, mumbling something.
He dropped to his knees and sighed. “You are one bitchy witch.” Vance brushed snow off himself meticulously.
“And you are one arrogant son of a bitch.” Rounding on Vance I had to resist stomping my foot in anger.
“Children, if we are going to fight, Mama Mia is going to put you back in time out.”
We both glared at Mia. “Between the two of us, we could take her, Vance.”
“Tempting,” he muttered.
“So, Vance, you aren’t going to try to kill Janie?”
“Nope. Tempting.” He looked at me, and I felt a flash of anger. “But no, I won’t kill her. And I did feed off her, so I guess we are almost equal, for the moment.”
I glared at him. “Don’t expect a repeat performance. I don’t do encores.”
“What in the hell is wrong with me? I go hundreds of years sane, and then meet some bimbo siren—”
“Hey!”
“In denial and it all goes down the can,” he finished.
“I am not a bimbo,” I defended. “Or in denial. We choose our fates and I choose to be normal.”
“Right, like a snail chooses to be a snail, or a flea chooses to be a flea. Honey, the free choice thing only gets you so far. The rest is nature.”
“I choose not to use that portion,” I filled in.
“You might not have as much of a choice, now.” Mia said it quietly, while spinning her car keys on her finger.
“What?” Vance narrowed his eyes.
“What is that supposed to mean?” My heart raced, as if I knew she was about to say something important.
She looked away in an evasive gesture. “I am not sure about anything. I mean, like I said, I really haven’t found out that much about what sirens were supposed to be like.”
“But—” I sputtered in frustration.
“Okay, Vance, before you were a vampire, did you ever want to drink blood?”
“No.”
“Before my powers awakened, do you remember me doing anything magical?” Mia continued to twirl the keys and didn’t quite meet my eyes.
“No. Get to the point.” I tried hard not to grit my teeth in frustration.
“I think I see where this is going.” Vance did not look happy. “I may want to rethink that whole promise not to kill her if this is going where I think it is.”
“Too late,” ordered the witch. “Anyway—”
“You don’t think I can go back to ignoring it.” My voice was flat and barely above a whisper. My palms sweated and I could hardly breathe.
“Well, you might be able to…” But she still didn’t meet my eyes.
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Look, it’s like this. Before, you kept that part of you in a kind of deep sleep. Like cancer—”
“I really don’t like the analogy.”
“It was in, like, siren-remission. Well you cut it open and let it out. Now it spread, and I don’t know if you can put it back where you had it put away.”
“And yet, you are the one who told me to use it?” Disbelief and anger pulsed equally in my voice.
“Well, you sang before and kept it put away. How was I to know that you would loose it and start draining the bar tonight?” Mia answered.
“Wait, which parts can’t she, theoretically, put back?” Vance asked.
“Well, she might be as trapped in what she is as, for instance, you are.”
“Meaning?” I tilted my head.
Mia sighed and wiped snow off her car with a finger. She had parked in front of the diner, which was probably why she brought us over there. The diner was across the road from the Galley, which looked like it’d slipped back to business as usual. “She may have to feed it regularly, now.”
“By feed it, you mean—?”
“Drink auras. The essence of life.”
“No.” I shook my head for emphasis. “There is no way I am making a habit of that.” I waved at the bar.
“Not that, not exactly. You can probably take a lot less if you get on a schedule. I mean, you starved it for almost thirty years.”
Looking at her, I could feel my mouth hanging open, so I snapped it closed. I turned away to look at my reflection in the glass of the window of Stutzman’s. The crack from Vance hitting the building ran through my reflection.
The face in the glass was a stranger—a creature of weird ethereal beauty. The hair and skin shone with an almost pearly sheen while the eyes glowed more green than blue, even past the contacts—fitting as I felt a little green with nausea. My bone structure even seemed different somehow, but that could be from the shadows or a trick of broken glass. The face was almost predatory, altered somehow from being my face. I didn’t look too human, more I appeared to be something that preyed on humans. The crack bisected my reflection in a way that summed up my life. My world torn by a jagged slice, ripping me, and who I thought I was, in two.
I pinched my eyes closed as if I could erase the memory
of that face in the broken glass.
Mia’s hand landed gently on my shoulder. “The look should wear off as long as you don’t take so much next time.” She meant it to be comforting and I knew that. I wasn’t feeling comforted.
“There won’t be a next time,” I hissed. Even my hiss was…hissier.
“Then you will starve and die. I think,” she added.
I glared at her. Waves of guilt for what I had done to those people washed over me. Where they crashed, I felt like sobbing.
“Well, let’s stop hypothesizing and wait and see, shall we?”
Rounding on Vance, I blinked fast, willing myself not to cry. “You think this is funny, don’t you?”
“Not in those words, but I must admit amusement is one of the things I’m feeling.”
“How would I feed it, if I was going to? Not that I am, but—”
“Same way Vance does. Find donors, I would suppose.”
I shut my eyes. I took her arms and whispered, “I am not going to be able to do this.”
“You do what you have to do to survive.”
“Not me. I can’t be this.” Fear looked back at me from Mia’s eyes, but then it was like she decided I was wrong and patted my arms back, before she hugged me.
“Welcome to my world.” Vance’s voice came from behind me. I spun to face him.
“You know, that is the second time you have said basically the same thing, and every time I hear it, I get deeper and deeper in trouble.”
“Sorry.” He didn’t sound sorry.
“Well, I gotta get out of here and try to find Chance.” Mia had gone back to her key twirling.
“Right.” I nodded.
She hugged me again, and I stood watching her leave. I leaned on the building, alone with the vampire again. We watched her taillights as she came to a stop at the light in the center of town. Then she turned right and disappeared into the night.
The only sounds were the trickle of the fountain in the courthouse yard, the soft patter of snow hitting the ground and the faint sound of music and laughter coming from the Galley.
I shivered. What am I supposed to do now?
“Come on.” The vampire sighed. “No use freezing. I have a few more ideas about how we can figure this mess out and the night is young. Let’s get on it.”
I wondered briefly how we could fix me being a siren, and realized he meant the stake murders. Having nothing better to do with my night, and feeling still powerful enough to fly, I figured, why not? I mean, I already crossed the line from normal to weird, why not finish what I started?
“Okay.” I took a deep breath and we crossed the road and got back in my car. We sat in silence, the vampire’s presence a dull roar in my head.
I turned the heater on high and prayed it would stop blowing cold air.
“Let’s get one thing straight.”
“Okay,” I said to the car the vent.
“You don’t sing to me, and I won’t try to alter your thinking.”
“Fair enough.” I still didn’t look at him, focused on my pal, vent.
“Good, because that makes us equal on that level.”
“Okay.” Warm air hit me, and I put my hand on the fan.
“And I won’t drink from you as long as you don’t drain me. If we do, we both do it.”
I looked at him finally. “Say again?”
“Look, we can pretend tonight didn’t happen or get past it.”
“I almost killed you,” I pointed out.
“Yeah, well, if I was starving, I would probably have done the same to you.”
I flicked up a brow. “So what you are saying is…?”
“If you want to drain some aura or whatever off me, fine. But you had better be ready to replace it with some of your blood.”
“I am not going to feed it…off you or anybody.” I sputtered.
“Yeah, you are good at the denial thing. No, really, it would be balanced then. I need a donor as my food supply was cut off, or staked as the case may be. You need donors because you have not established—”
“I am not going to!” I yelped.
“Yeah, well here’s the thing. You drained more off me than I got from nicking your lip.”
I stared at him agape. “Are you suggesting—”
“Yeah. You owe me some more of your blood. Then we are even and can go on about our lives, only taking evenly from here on out.”
“You want to bite me?” My voice came out thready.
“Yeah. I am low, and you are juiced up. It won’t hurt, promise.”
“You are insane. Get out of my car.”
“Are you in denial about it feeling good, too?” He sounded serious.
A shiver ran up my spine, and I couldn’t even blame it on the heat, as the car was now blowing out enough heat for even me in the leather top. “I thought we were going to figure out about the murders—”
“Yeah, we are. But I am weak as a kitten and if we get jumped that leaves you to defend us.”
I looked at him, brows arched. “So, we go home and call it a night.”
“And then tomorrow Max sends more people after me, and probably you, now that she knows you are part of this.”
Okay, valid point. Chalk one up for the bloodsucker.
“You don’t have to be so snide about the bloodsucker thing. You aren’t much better.”
“Quit reading my mind.” I narrowed my eyes at him. I thought for a minute and then offered my arm. “Fine, bite me.”
Here was my logic—I deserved to be bit. I had just gone completely bonkers in a club and drained them, and him, of a good chunk of aura. That was not my way. I basically robbed from everyone in that bar. The guilt of thinking only of myself and nearly killing a lot of people because of my needs was immeasurable to me. There was no way to give it back what I’d taken or fix my own weakness. Not to mention I might have to do something similar according to Mia, all because of one night’s stupidity. I deserved to pay in some way. Feeding a vampire was penance, of a sort, as he was one of the people I violated.
Could you categorize vampires with people?
Anyway, I deserved it, I owed him. His reasoning might be selfish, but I had to make amends. So be it.
I made a silent vow to never sing and drain anyone anymore. I wasn’t going to be one of the monsters. I was a mom, a person, not a freaking weirdo monster who ate people’s energy. I wouldn’t be. If it killed me, well, I deserved that, too.
He took my offered hand, coincidentally the same one that he’d nicked with his teeth on the street. He licked gently at the abrasion, and I watched the extremely disconcerting sight of the wound healing. “How did you do that?” I stared at my hand, trying desperately not to be turned on by the hunk licking my hand.
“Anti-coagulants aren’t the only perks of vampire saliva,” he replied. I decided I didn’t want to know, closed my eyes, looked away and waited.
Nothing happened. I glanced back to see him waiting. “What?” I narrowed my eyes at him. He bent in the seat, moving toward me. I backed into the door.
“I don’t really get off on arms,” was his husky response.
“You getting off really isn’t my concern.” I ignored the heat pooling in my belly.
“No, but it’s so much more fun to do it my way.”
He caught my head and kissed me. I sat still, not responding.
He changed his angle, all softness, gentleness and temptation.
I began to melt. When I succumbed and kissed him back, he trailed his lips across my cheek to nibble at my ear. Delicious tingles raced across my skin as he moved to tug at my neck. I tensed, expecting teeth tearing into my skin.
When his lips traveled lower, I sucked in a surprised breath. Don’t vampires usually bite necks? When his lips stopped just over my breast he rolled his eyes up to meet mine.
“See, my way is a lot more fun,” he growled.
I watched in mute horror as his canines distended. My, they are large. This is not going
to feel good. Then he sank his fangs into my breast.
Okay, here is my version of it. When the vampire bit my ass—through jeans, mind you—in the strip club parking lot, it was nearly orgasmic. And I didn’t even know him.
Vance bit me in, shall we say, a more sensitive region. Also, the man could make me tremble with a touch and writhe with a kiss.
The moment his teeth pierced my skin, it was like he pierced a far more intimate place with a far larger portion of his anatomy. I threw my head back and gasped. My entire body bowed, tense and unable to move.
One handed, he hit the lever to recline the seat. I think he knew any advanced motor skills—like the ability to move seats, or breathe—were beyond me at that particular juncture. My eyes closed and yet he just sat, still as a corpseha, hateeth inside my body, lips barely touching my flesh.
I looked at him, and he looked back. I just figured out how to breathe again, when he closed his lips over his teeth and sucked.
I cannot begin to describe how that felt in mere words. A hundred orgasms have nothing on it? My hands closed over his head and I held him, while my body rocked with the blast of sensation. As he continued his slow sucking, I continued to crest, riding wave after wave of sheer sexual pleasure.
His hands roved my body. I think he knew what I felt and that I would pretty much be okay with anything he wanted to do right then. He slid over my body, somehow, between it and the steering wheel which stopped my useless bucking and turned it into fun for everyone involved. He pressed me into the seat with his hips and took my useless, flailing arms and held them over my head. And still he drew from my breast.
I writhed against him, and his breathing labored as we struggled against the restraints of being in a car, driver’s side, fully clothed, during one of the most sexually fulfilling moments of my life. I think, actually, if he had taken me then and there, it would have been less personal than the drawing of my life’s essence. Finally, he gently licked my breast, likely to close the wounds, and kissed my neck. “See why we don’t usually take straight from people?” His voice sounded rusty and breathless.
“Mmm.” I held him. I kissed his forehead. I felt like a cat full of cream. I stretched against him, and he held me close. “It is a very intimate act…”
“Yeah.” I blinked at the ceiling. “You aren’t kidding.”
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