Not Even for Love

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Not Even for Love Page 8

by Sandra Brown


  Henri, the chauffeur, was waiting with the limousine at the cog railroad station. “Oh, I was hoping we could go back on one of the ferries,” Jordan said with disappointment. The ferries did a thriving business on the Lake of Lucerne. They were used by commuters and tourists alike. “I know it takes a long time with all of the stops, but it is always such fun.”

  “Then by all means take Reeves with you if you want to ride on one of the ferries,” Helmut said generously. “For myself, I prefer the luxury of the automobile and Henri’s driving. I’ve had enough tourism for the day.” He turned to Reeves. “What do you think? Would you enjoy taking one of the boats? It will be at least an hour until you return to Lucerne.”

  “Fine,” Reeves said. “What time are you meeting with that Italian manufacturer?”

  “Four o’clock.”

  “I’d like to sit in on that if you don’t mind, just for some background information.”

  “I don’t mind at all. Why don’t you and Jordan take the ferry, see her home, and then come to the offices. You’ll have plenty of time.”

  “Won’t you please come, too, Helmut?” Jordan asked. She didn’t want to appear to be too happy over being alone with Reeves.

  “No, my dear. As much as I’ve enjoyed having Reeves with us, I have neglected some things on my desk. This will give me an opportunity to see to them. Au revoir,” he said, and kissed her tenderly on the lips.

  His lips were cool and firm, so different from Reeves’s warm, moist, yielding lips. Helmut’s kiss didn’t transport her into another sphere where she slowly, but inevitably, lost touch with the one she lived in. It didn’t cause tiny ripples, like the aftershocks of an earthquake, to make her insides tremble.

  He pulled away from her. “I’ll call you later, darling.”

  “All right. Thank you for a lovely morning,” she said, and was ashamed for being so insincere. Helmut had had nothing to do with the loveliness of the day.

  He waved them good-bye as Henri held open the door to the sleek Mercedes. They were alone. Reeves stood in the queue to buy their tickets. They were jostled by the crowd, who waited while the ferry docked and disembarked its passengers. And they were unaware of everything except each other. Only the stampeding throng that scrambled aboard the ferry brought them out of their shared trance.

  They were scurrying and laughing amidst the crowd when they found a small table on the upper open-air deck and claimed it as their own. They piled their coats in one of the extra chairs and Reeves’s camera equipment in the other to discourage anyone from joining them.

  Reeves bought them sandwiches and candy out of vending machines and they sipped coffee that was served at the snack bar on the lower deck.

  They sat together at the small table, unconscious of the milling tourists, the frequent stops for passenger exchanges, the chattering of several languages, aware only of each other. The day was gorgeous. The lake was azure placidity. But had the climate not been optimum, neither would have noticed, for they basked in the sunny glow of each other.

  “Tell me all there is to know about Jordan Hadlock. What was your maiden name, by the way?” Reeves asked as he leaned forward and took her hand where it lay on the Formica table top.

  “Simms. Why?” she asked, laughing.

  He shrugged and smiled that boyish grin that by now she knew well. “I don’t know. Just curious. I want to know everything about you.”

  Self-consciously, she looked down at their clasped hands. She thought of the exciting life he led and the other women he must meet every day and her life seemed to pale to insignificance. “There isn’t much to tell. I think you know all there is to know.”

  “Tell me about your family.”

  She smiled. “My parents are lovely. Dad is a regional representative for a publishing house. Mother has always been a homemaker.”

  “Siblings?”

  “One who died at birth a few years after I was born. No others.”

  “You told me that you were married for four years.” She nodded. “Why didn’t you have any children?”

  “Charles didn’t want any.”

  “But you did.”

  Was he clairvoyant? She ducked her head in self-consciousness. “Yes, I wanted children. Now I see that it wasn’t meant to be.”

  Her wanting a family had been a source of contention between Charles and her. He hadn’t wanted children to “slow him down.” “When my ship comes in and we’re on easy street, there’ll be plenty of time for kids.” But that time had never come and neither had the family that Jordan so longed for. In retrospect, she supposed that it was just as well. She wouldn’t have wanted a child to grow up in the impermanence that existed in her marriage. She raised her eyes and met Reeves’s intent stare.

  He was acutely aware of the sadness that had settled in her eyes, so he directed the conversation elsewhere. “Did your parents mind your coming over here?”

  She pondered the question as her thumb stroked the light brown hairs that sprinkled the back of his hand. “Yes, they did, I’m sure. But they made no arguments to stop me. I think they understood why I had to leave. For a while anyway. Too, there had never been an excess of money in our house. I wasn’t deprived, by any means, but I think they always felt guilty because they couldn’t afford to send me to Europe when some of my schoolmates went after graduation. I even worked to help put myself through college. They wanted me to have this opportunity.”

  She glanced out over the lake with its sparkling blue water. The foothills rose around it, still green and dotted with quaint chalets. As charming as it was, she felt a wave of homesickness for her parents and her homeland. One couldn’t stay away too long without missing it terribly. She roused herself and brought her eyes back to Reeves, who was watching her closely. “What about you? Do you have a family?”

  “Dad is deceased. Mother is remarried to a wonderful gentleman, a retired grocer, who treats her like a queen. I have one kid sister who is in law school. God help the judicial system when she is let loose in it,” he chuckled.

  And so the hour flew by while they revealed aspects of their lives, past and present. Anyone watching might have thought they were lovers, for they never looked at anyone else. Indeed, they seemed unaware of anyone else.

  During a break in their conversation, Reeves said, “Jordan, I just want to know one thing.”

  His tone was so serious that she felt a prickle of alarm. “Yes?” she asked hesitantly.

  “Do you know when we’re supposed to get off this boat?”

  She burst into laughter. He joined her and they laughed just for the sheer joy of doing it together. Her gray eyes were swimming with tears of mirth when she answered, “The next stop is ours. We’d better start gathering up our things.”

  They walked down the gangplank arm in arm, still talking privately. Jordan happened to glance up and saw Henri, Helmut’s chauffeur, scanning the crowd. She stepped away from the arm across her shoulders just as Henri spotted them.

  “Mrs. Hadlock, I have a message for you from Mr. Eckherdt,” the uniformed man said in halting English when he stood before them. “Mr. Eckherdt asked me to see you home. He has been invited to dinner this evening by a business associate and he wishes you to accompany him. He said to dress semiformally. He’ll pick you up at seven-thirty.”

  As he spoke, he had been escorting them through the crowd toward the parked car. Now he held the back door open for her and Reeves. Not knowing what to do, she turned toward Reeves with a bewildered, helpless expression on her face. They had planned that he would come to her apartment after his meeting with Helmut since she had no plans for the evening. What was she to do?

  “Reeves…?”

  She wanted him to say that it was all right, that he understood. Instead she watched as his eyes, which had been lit up with laughter, turn icy. His mouth thinned into a grim line as he stood there and stared at her.

  Nervously she licked her lips and said, “I…I have to go. He… Maybe sometime toni
ght I’ll be able to talk to him. I…”

  “Never mind, Jordan. It doesn’t matter,” he said in a cold, hard voice. “I understand perfectly.” His tone indicated that he didn’t understand at all. He was furious. The tight set of his facial muscles testified to that.

  Henri stepped forward and bowed slightly. “Mr. Grant, I’m to take you to Mr. Eckherdt’s offices as soon as I’ve dropped Mrs. Hadlock at her apartment.”

  “No thank you, Henri,” Reeves said, declining the offer. He wasn’t looking at the chauffeur, however. He was still glaring at Jordan. “I always make my own decisions.”

  Without another word, but with a scathing look at Jordan, he stalked away through the stragglers, who were trying to get to the ferry before it was launched again.

  CHAPTER 6

  The evening dragged on interminably. The dinner party was hosted by a businessman from Stockholm and his wife. Only two other couples besides Jordan and Helmut had been invited. It was touted as a social occasion, but business was the underlying reason for the gathering.

  As soon as dinner was concluded in one of the private dining rooms of the Palace Hotel, the group retired to their hosts’ suite, where the men sat around a game table and discussed a merger proposition. The women, having nothing in common—not even a language—sat in a small cluster on the formal furniture and tried not to bore each other to death. Jordan had a rudimentary knowledge of German, which the other women spoke, but some of the nuances of the conversation eluded her. It didn’t really bother her. Her mind wasn’t on the dull conversation anyway.

  By the time Helmut finally shook hands all around and prepared to leave, Jordan didn’t think she could have stood one more minute in the room. Helmut’s varied business pursuits didn’t interest her. Strange that she had urged Reeves to talk about his career this afternoon on the ferry. Wanting to share his experiences with him, she had clung to every word.

  Now she was bored, tired, cranky—and abysmally miserable whenever she thought about the angry stride with which Reeves had stalked away from her.

  She wavered between disappointment and fury. The time they had spent together on the mountaintop and on the ferry had been enchanting. Admittedly, she had regretted that this special day couldn’t have carried over into the evening. She couldn’t deny that Reeves Grant stirred her, shook her reserve, made her more vulnerable than any other man ever had.

  But it was that very susceptibility to him that made him dangerous. Already he was assuming a dominance over her. Hadn’t he expected her to break her date with Helmut? At Reeves’s whim was she supposed to tell Helmut that she wasn’t going to have dinner with him when he had already accepted the invitation on her behalf?

  She was angry, but the direction of her anger was hard to pinpoint. Was she angry at Helmut for decreeing a command performance? Or was she mad at Reeves for presuming that he had any right to be possessive of her time? Or was she angry at herself for suddenly becoming a pawn for two very determined, headstrong men—something she had averred she would never be again? Not even for love!

  In the elevator Helmut expounded upon the pros and cons of the possible merger, and she thought she might very well start screaming if he didn’t shut up. What did she care about the business transaction? It meant nothing to her or her life. Up until a few days ago, she had lived tranquilly with very few hurdles in her way. Now it seemed that her world had turned upside down. Nothing was stable anymore. Everything was unclear. Her decisions weren’t concrete. Her life had been plunged into chaos ever since the emergence of Reeves Grant into it.

  Helmut ushered her out of the elevator as it came to a silent stop on the lobby floor of the hotel. He was helping her with her wrap when she saw the man and woman come through the wide front doors.

  The woman was in her mid-twenties, red-haired, svelte, and gorgeous. Her long, slender legs were encased—shockingly so—in tight green satin pants. A loose, blousy sequin top of the same color dipped decidedly low over her pert breasts.

  Tacky, Jordan thought. Yes, definitely tacky and tasteless.

  Reeves, on the other hand, looked wonderful. He wore gray flannel slacks and a navy blue blazer. His white silk shirt was opened down to the middle of his chest. Black Bally loafers peeked shinily from beneath the crease of his trousers. He was expensively dressed, but with enough casualness to say, I don’t give a damn about Old World tradition.

  Jordan couldn’t help the slight flutter in her throat. Angry as she was at him, she was more so with herself for responding to his bold sexuality. Even as she admired the well-tailored clothes, she was thinking of the body underneath them and of how it ignited her with consuming flames of passion.

  The couple were on their way into the bar when Helmut spotted them. “Reeves,” he called across the posh lobby of the famous hotel. “Reeves Grant.” Jordan quailed. Vainly she had hoped they could leave without being seen.

  Reeves jerked his head around and his face lit up in a disarming smile. “Hello, Helmut, Jordan.” He didn’t take his arm from its firm position around the redhead’s waspish waist. “My favorite subjects. What are you two up to?”

  “We were invited to a dinner party,” Helmut said.

  “Oh, yes.” Reeves snapped his fingers. “I remember now you saying something to that effect.”

  He’s lying, Jordan thought. He knew exactly what they were doing here. He hadn’t looked her in the eye since Helmut had caught their attention.

  “I want you to meet…uh… Diane? Yes, Diane… uh…?”

  “Moffett,” the woman supplied, and dug into Reeves’s ribs with her elbow as though to say, You naughty boy. Jordan clenched her fists. Couldn’t the woman stand upright? Must she recline against Reeves that way?

  “Yes, Diane Moffett,” Reeves said, and now he looked at Jordan with a triumphant gleam in his eyes. “Diane, this is Mrs. Jordan Hadlock and Mr. Helmut Eckherdt. Diane’s practically a neighbor of mine. She’s from Los Angeles. Isn’t it lucky we ran into each other this afternoon?”

  Jordan couldn’t bear to look at his gloating expression any longer and shifted her eyes to the woman, who she thought seemed incredibly stupid. “Hello, Miss Moffett,” she said with cold politeness.

  “Hi. I like your dress,” the woman replied cheekily.

  “Thank you.” Jordan was glad she had worn this particular dress because she knew it was flattering. It was black sleeveless satin with a ruffled collar that plunged deeply between her breasts. Her waist was cinched with a shocking pink cummerbund. She had pulled her hair into a sleek knot at the back of her neck. Diamond studs in her ears were her only jewelry. Except for Helmut’s ring.

  “We were on our way to the bar for a nightcap. We’d love for you to join us,” Reeves said.

  Jordan almost gasped at his audacity. Rage boiled up in her chest until the pressure was painful. The man was totally without morals. How could he? How could he pick up another woman so soon after leaving her? Or was that his custom? Out of sight, out of mind? And he had had the gall to play the injured party just a few hours ago!

  Helmut turned to her and asked, “Jordan?”

  “I really don’t think so, Helmut. We’ve had such a full day, with this morning on the mountain …” Her voice trailed off, seemingly with a regretful declination. Actually, the memory of the intimacy she and Reeves had shared in the cable car and at the summit of the mountain had clogged her throat with remorse, and speech was rendered impossible.

  “Please excuse us, Reeves, Miss Moffett.” Helmut bowed to them. “It seems that my lady is tired. I’d better take her home.” He smiled graciously and shook hands with Reeves. He raised the back of Diane Moffett’s hand to his lips and kissed it lightly. She giggled.

  “Good night then, Helmut, Jordan,” Reeves said.

  “Good night,” Jordan mumbled, and risked looking at him. That was a mistake. His lips were curled derisively and his eyes mocked her. Clearly he was saying, Coward.

  She raised her chin haughtily as she walk
ed away under the protective guidance of Helmut’s arm. But on the inside her heart was breaking. She had been right all along. He was out for thrills. Their night together during the storm had meant no more to him than this redhaired pickup did tonight.

  Jordan all but crumpled into the back seat of the limousine and was silent during the ride home. She was amazed at her own absolute despondency. Had this man come to mean so much to her that the idea of him with another woman could reduce her to this stratum of misery?

  Even when Helmut escorted her the few remaining blocks through the alleys of the old town, she didn’t feel inclined to speak. He attributed her silence to fatigue.

  While her lips remained sealed, her mind was working furiously. She argued with herself. She really should tell Helmut now that she didn’t intend to marry him. He had asked her earlier in the evening if she had notified her parents yet of their engagement. Evasively, she had reminded him of how busy they had been the past couple of days. He was anxious to make their engagement public.

  Somehow, though, she didn’t have the energy for such an encounter tonight. He wouldn’t take her refusal lying down. There would be arguments to meet, and she didn’t think she could manage them. When she felt stronger, when Reeves was banished from her mind, then she would talk to Helmut. Until then…

  At her door she listlessly endured his good-night embraces. He was a handsome, virile man. His love affairs were legion. Why didn’t his mouth excite her? His hands didn’t touch her with the same gentle strength that bespoke passion and tenderness at the same time. When he held her, her body didn’t seem to fit against his like the second half of a whole.

  After he had left her and was dispiritedly climbing the dark stairs, she chided herself for not feeling more affection for Helmut. He had never shown her anything but kindness. Now he had rescued her from further involvement with an unscrupulous man like Reeves Grant. She should be grateful to Helmut for that. Shouldn’t she?

  As she got into bed, she tried forcibly to concentrate on Helmut and his generosity. Her brain refused. All she could think of was Reeves with that Diane person and how the silly creature had clung to him. Was he touching her, kissing her? Were his lips whispering those same words he had breathed into her ear as they made love? No! She couldn’t bear it. She’d go crazy if she thought of him loving that woman. She’d think of something else.

 

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