“That I understand. It had been a year since my breakup with my fiancée,” Kal offered. He looked into her eyes and continued, “I, too, wanted to hold a woman and be held.”
“So both of our needs were satisfied. I guess you were just looking for a one-night stand?” Shana asked directly.
“Why do you say that?”
“Well, I never heard from you again.”
“You gave me your business card, remember?” Kal asked.
“Yes.”
“I called your work place; however you were no longer employed there.” Kal recalled his disappointment that day.
“I wrote my home number on the card,” Shana said waiting for his reply.
“When I got back from conference, I called but it was disconnected.”
“Sorry, I forgot I was moving that same weekend.”
“I know. I came over to your apartment and they said you moved, and they couldn’t give out any information as to where.”
“Oh,” Shana said.
Kal noticed regret on her face and wondered...“I’m going to be perfectly honest at this point. I don’t make it a habit of having one-night stands either. Initially, I intended our night to be just that—one night. Although I enjoyed our evening together, I wasn’t going to call you. However, I couldn’t stop thinking about you while I was at the conference. So I decided to call you and see if you were interested in going out again, and see where it went from there. Unfortunately you’d disappeared.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you’d tried to find me. I never heard from you so I figured you didn’t want to see me again. You never gave me your business card, or number, so I had no way of finding you with only a first name.”
Kal studied her face as she spoke, seeing the underlying pain, sensing her realization of how different things could’ve been if she’d had his number. “You have no idea how much I regretted not giving you my business card.”
“That brings me to the money you left me. Why?”
“Like I said, I initially planned on having a one-night stand with you. It’s not something I felt comfortable with so I wanted to give you something to make up for that. So you could buy yourself something.”
“It made me feel like you paid me for sex.”
“No, I didn’t mean it to be taken like that,” Kal explained, realizing what he’d done without intending to.
“It made me feel like a whore,” Shana blurted out.
Kal could see the hurt in her eyes. “I am so sorry, that was not my intention.” He could see now that he’d caused her tremendous pain at a time when she was already barely staying above her maximum pain threshold to remain at a functional level.
Their salads were set out before them and they both ate in silence.
Kal watched Shana through different eyes. She’d been hurt terribly by his actions. She’d had some difficult decisions to make all alone. Finally, he asked, “So did you find another job?” Ah shit, why’d he asked that? He knew the answer!
“Not for about a year. I got very depressed after that night with everything else that had happened.”
“You mean losing the job and your mother?” He didn’t think she’d say anything about the pregnancy still he had to see.
“Yes. I had to live on unemployment, had no money for medical so it took a while to get through the depression. I finally ended up going through counseling at a free clinic and took a part time job at Starbucks.”
Kal’s heart went out to her. Her life had been difficult. He felt quite confident she didn’t know about Kalsha though.
Her blonde hair framed her face and her golden eyes were mesmerizing. Her top was cut low and he had a nice view of her cleavage. Hell, she turned him on. There was just this huge dark cloud though that was hanging over them, and they couldn’t go anywhere until it was gone. He couldn’t tell her that he had their baby daughter, and he was damn sure she wasn’t going to tell him about the terminated pregnancy.
They ate and Kal chatted with her about the hospital and Phoenix. She talked about Minneapolis and how glad she was to be here where it was warm. The server brought the dessert tray out for them to look at.
“Go ahead and pick one,” he said.
“Oh, I don’t know. They all look so good.” Shana eyed them all.
Kal laughed, “Okay, pick two and we’ll share.”
“The chocolate indulgence and the cheesecake with fresh berries,” she said to the server.
“Good choices,” Kal said and smiled at her.
After dessert, there was a deafening silence. Shana was at a loss for words. What did one say at this point? She stared at his chiseled tan face. He was so extremely good looking, and the attraction to him was strong. Damn! She needed to leave.
“Well, I think it’s time to call it a night,” Shana said as she got up from the table.
“I know this was a bit awkward at first, but hopefully it was helpful for both of us to talk about that night. Especially since it appears, we both attempted to do that back then. For some unknown reasons, it didn’t work out.” Kal stood up and they walked to the door.
“Having my unanswered questions answered was greatly appreciated,” Shana said, stopping outside the door.
“I know we can’t go back, though maybe we can be friends, at least, since we’ll be working at the hospital together. What do you think?” Kal asked offering his hand.
“Friends,” Shana said, extended her hand and shook Kal’s. She hesitated a moment to look into his eyes.
Kal wanted to kiss her but knew he couldn’t so he released her hand and backed away.
“See you at the hospital,” Kal said and continued backing up towards the parking lot.
“Thanks for the dinner,” Shana replied.
“It was the least I could do.” Kal turned and walked away.
Shana walked to her car. Her heart felt lighter than it had in years. Her questions had been answered. She hadn’t been totally honest with him, yet sometimes it was best to not bring up something that couldn’t be undone. No matter what she said or did, it would not change the fact she’d terminated the pregnancy. Nothing could bring back the child they’d made together.
Chapter Eight
Kal got into his car and watched Shana get into hers. He knew he should’ve been a gentleman and escorted her out to the parking lot, but he couldn’t. Those luscious, alluring lips were too tempting and he almost kissed them when they shook hands. Lord only help him what might have happened if he’d walked her to the car.
What was wrong with him? He was behaving like a high school boy, barely able to keep his hormones in check. She was a beautiful, attractive woman. Sitting across the table from her, catching glimpses of firm, perfectly formed breasts when she leaned forward almost undid him. He’d had a hard on almost through the entire dinner. It took all the willpower he had to keep control of his urges so he could walk out of the restaurant without embarrassing himself. Why she had this effect on him, after all this time, he had no idea. All he knew was she did and he wanted her even more after tonight.
She’d redeemed herself some in his eyes, knowing she’d been expecting him to call. After she explained her situation at the time regarding her losses, he actually felt sorry for her. And to top it off, he felt guilty. For the first time in two years, he felt like he was partially responsible for what happened. Like the pregnancy. He really couldn’t blame her solely; he would have to accept part of the blame. They’d both drank too much, and neither had been thinking clearly.
Why hadn’t he left his business card with the fifty dollars? Because he was being controlling, that’s why. It was going to be his choice, and only his choice, if they saw each other again. That had turned out well, hadn’t it? If he hadn’t tried to be so macho, she would’ve had his number to call him and tell him she was pregnant. As for the pregnancy, wasn’t he the one who’d had unprotected sex? Hell, he was a doctor, he should have known better, except he’d been drunk. Although that was
no excuse for not using a condom. He, of course, had assumed she was on the pill. Yet had he asked? No he hadn’t. He’d assumed.
Then, of course, there was the fact that if he’d called her the next day instead of waiting a week, he’d have gotten a hold of her. God only knew, he’d wanted to call her that day. Hell, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. Making love to her. Being a guy, he’d figured it was just because he hadn’t had sex with a woman for over a year. Hand jobs in the shower simply weren’t the same as a warm blooded, sexy woman.
This could've turned out entirely different. He could’ve been married to Shana and raised their baby together. He could be a married man with a wife and baby. Having Shana as his wife wouldn’t be bad at all. Unfortunately things hadn’t happened that way, and he would have to try to steer clear of her as much as possible since this attraction was so strong, yet couldn’t go anywhere.
* * * *
“Kal, how’d it go?” Sadie asked, giving him the eye as he walked through the door.
“It was revealing,” Kal said, looking around for Kalsha.
“She’s sleeping. Now tell me how it was revealing,” Sadie demanded.
“The night I met Shana, she’d been laid off of her job of ten years a few hours earlier,” Kal stated.
“She must’ve been devastated.”
“I didn’t know. She never said anything that night.”
“Poor woman,” Sadie said sympathetically.
“That’s not all. Her mother died a couple months earlier, leaving her with huge medical bills to pay.”
“Oh my! That poor woman.”
“The following Saturday she moved. I never gave her my business card so she couldn’t call me.”
“You two are star crossed lovers,” Sadie said.
“I see now that I have to accept some of the blame for what happened. This wasn’t all her fault. And damn it, I should’ve used a condom!”
“At this point, I can’t agree with that. If you had, we wouldn’t have your beautiful daughter, Kalsha,” Sadie answered thoughtfully.
“Who happens to be the spitting image of her mother.”
“Do you have feelings for her?”
“Unfortunately, that may be the case. I am certainly attracted to her. I probably could fall in love with Shana if given the chance.”
“So what are you going to do?”
“Stay as far away from her as I can,” Kal stated emphatically.
* * * *
Shana drove home barely seeing the streets as she drove. Her mind was fully occupied with Kal. She had to admit, she didn’t actually hate him anymore. She needed to talk to someone. More than ever, she wished she could talk to her mother. They’d always been so close. Her mother would’ve known the right things to say to comfort her.
Shana was restless when she got home. She really needed to talk to someone about what just happened. Tara. Yes, she would send her an email. She turned on her laptop and started the email. After only a few sentences, she checked the time. It was a little after seven, so it was only after nine in Minneapolis. Did she dare call Tara? Tara had said she could call anytime. She needed to talk to Tara, so she picked up her cell and called.
“Hello,” Tara answered.
“Hope it’s not too late,” Shana said.
“Shana! No, it’s fine. How’d your meeting with Kal go tonight?”
“I’m glad I went. I really need to talk to you about it. Do you have time now?”
“Sure. I’m anxious to hear. So did he answer your questions?”
“Yes, he did.”
“Well, tell me what he said,” Tara prompted.
“He said initially he intended to have just a one-night stand.”
“Initially? But he never contacted you again. How does that work?” Tara asked.
“He left that morning for a conference and called when he got back.”
“Called where? You never got a call.”
“I’d given him my business card, so he called Ultimate Promotions, looking for me.”
“Oh.”
“My home phone was on the back, so he called that too, however it was disconnected because I’d moved that weekend.”
“That’s right. I’m so sorry, Shana.”
“That’s not even all of it. He went to my apartment and found I’d moved. The apartment said they couldn’t give out any forwarding information.”
“So, then he gave up,” Tara summarized.
“Yes, can’t actually blame him at that point.”
“Did you ask him about the fifty dollars?”
“Yes. He thought he only wanted a one-night stand, so he didn’t leave a business card and left the money as a gift so I could buy myself something.”
“So he was feeling guilty and it was to make himself feel better about what he’d done,” Tara evaluated, the counselor in her coming through.
“I guess so.”
“Obviously, he must’ve changed his mind since he tried to find you.”
“He said he couldn’t stop thinking about me at his conference,” Shana replied.
“Really. Do you believe him?”
“Yes, I guess so. He seemed sincere.”
“He say anything else?”
“After the discussion, there didn’t seem to be anything else to talk about. There was a lot of silence and it was rather awkward. Thankfully, the food came shortly.”
“So you had a nice meal then?” Tara asked, probing for more.
“Yes. We even ordered two desserts.”
“Did you two talk more?”
“Just talked about Minneapolis, Phoenix and the hospital. But then—”
“What?” Tara asked.
“When we were leaving, he almost kissed me.”
“Really? Are you sure?”
“Well, it certainly seemed that way,” Shana stated.
“Did you want him to kiss you?”
“I think so. He is so attractive. Such a fit body with a chiseled, tanned face. And his eyes!” Shana recalled.
“Okay, so you are attracted to him. Now what?”
“A part of me would love to pursue a relationship with him, but—”
“You’re afraid.”
“He would never understand what I did or forgive me.”
“How do you know?” Tara asked.
“I don’t. I just don’t think we could get past it so there is no point,” Shana said.
“Still you don’t know, so there is a possibility.”
“Can’t.”
“Shana, you don’t have to make any decisions tonight. You can wait and see what happens,” Tara suggested.
“We agreed to be friends,” Shana stated.
“Friends?”
“Yes. Be polite to each other around the hospital, etc.”
“Oh. That would be good since you have to work together. Or at least somewhat work together,” Tara stated.
“What do you think I should do, Tara?”
“I think you just need to take a day at a time and see what happens. It’s up to him what happens next. Unfortunately, guys always have the upper hand there. So just wait and see. That is, of course, if you want anything to happen.”
“That’s the big question, isn’t it?”
“If you don’t want anything more to do with him, simply ignore him. He’ll get the message and leave you alone.”
“Then again what if I do, but know it can’t go anywhere?” Shana asked.
“That’s a decision you may have to make. Whether you would like to find out or not,” Tara offered.
“Do you think there is any chance for us after what happened?”
“Shana, there is always a chance no matter what the odds are. Nonetheless it’s probably best to keep your expectations low and see what happens.”
“Okay, that makes sense. I’ll give it a try. It certainly helped talking to you, Tara. Thanks.”
“No problem. Keep me informed on how it is going.”
“I wi
ll. I’ll let you go now because I know it’s late there. I’ll call if anything happens,” Shana promised, and ended the call feeling much better.
* * * *
Everything was going as planned for the golf event. Only one more day until the big day, Friday. Thankfully, she hadn’t really had to talk to Kal much. Only a few emails had taken care of the information she needed from him. She knew she was a bit more stressed than usual however that was because she wanted everything to be perfect. Mainly, so Kal would see that she was good at what she did. She wanted to make a good impression. She didn’t have high hopes anything would happen between her and Kal, yet she still wanted to look good to him. Kal hadn’t approached her at the hospital since their sort of date, although she knew she would see him tomorrow. Yes, and there would be interactions then.
“I’ve got everything boxed up that we need to take to the golf course tomorrow,” Meg said.
“Great. I think we’re all set then,” Shana replied.
“I’ll drop off the list for the team tee offs at the golf course on my way home. See you in the morning then.”
“Enjoy your evening, Meg,” Shana called out as Meg left.
Shana finished turning off everything, deciding to call it a day. She wanted to get plenty of rest for the big event tomorrow. Not that the golf event was such a big event, though spending the day with Kal was. On the way home, she stopped for her nail and pedicure appointment. She had her clothes all laid out for tomorrow—a salmon Capri pantsuit and matching sandals. She was going to make sure Kal didn’t find her lacking in the visual category at the very least. It was their past history category that was an issue.
* * * *
The next morning, Shana awoke to bright sunshine, as was the usual status quo for Phoenix. She felt refreshed and eager to meet this day head on with enthusiasm. Thankfully, she’d slept well due to the Sleepy Time herbal tea she’d drank before going to bed. Phoenix had proven good for Shana. Her mood and outlook on life was elevated by simply being there. Seeing the sun each morning made a huge difference to her day.
She took extra care to be sure her eye make-up and hair were perfect before she left. Done and pleased, she took one final look in the mirror. Happy with what she saw, she left and headed out to her daylong appointment with Kal. Not really, yet it could certainly turn out that way.
Taking Chances Page 8
