Black

by K. L. Grayson

  “Speaking of bills,” Shae adds, “you still owe me a shit ton of books.”

  Dante’s laugh booms through the room. He lifts his hand, and Shae gives him a high five.

  What am I missing? “What do you mean I owe you a ton of books?”

  “Dante said if I pull this party off, you’ll fill my Kindle with all the romance novels my little heart desires.”

  “Did he?” I look to Dante, who shrugs and turns toward his office.

  “She’s your girl. I figure if you’ll be the one reaping the benefits of all the romance novels she reads, you should be the one to buy her the books.” He disappears around the corner.

  “Romance novels?”

  She crinkles her nose. “Did I forget to mention that I love to read?”

  “Romance?”

  “And erotica,” she adds.

  Erotica. Moving closer, I erase what little distance is between us. Shae’s body relaxes against mine.

  “I think I need to hear more about these books of yours.”

  Her tongue darts out to wet her bottom lip. “Maybe if you’re good,” she whispers, “we can act a few scenes out.”

  Oh, sweet Shae, you have no idea what I have planned for you.

  She runs a finger down the front of my shirt, and her touch lingers at the waistband of my slacks. “Maybe after dinner tonight?”

  “About dinner… There’s been a small change of plans.”

  “What? No.” She pouts, jutting her bottom lip out, and I bend down, sucking the soft flesh into my mouth.

  “Don’t worry, you’re not getting rid of me that easily,” I tell her. “I’ve just switched up our plans a bit.”

  “Well, are you going to tell me what we’re going to do?”

  “No, it’s a surprise.”

  Her smile falters. “Rex, you don’t have to keep doing this.”

  I pull her in for a hug. “You don’t even know what I’m going to do. Go home, put on something comfortable, and I’ll get in touch with you a little bit later.”

  “Will you at least give me a hint?”

  “No.” I tap her nose, turn her toward the door, and smack her ass. “Now get going. I’ve got a few things to finish up here, but I’ll see you soon.”

  Dante walks out of his office as Shae is leaving. Once she’s out the door, he turns to me, lips set in a firm line.

  “We need to talk.”

  “I’m busy.” I’ve already set my plans for tonight in motion, but there are still a few things I have to get ready, so I make a beeline for my office.

  “Rex. Dude, wait up.” Dante falls in step beside me. “What the hell is going on with you?”

  “Nothing.” Pulling out my keys, I unlock my office door. Dante follows me inside.

  “Nothing,” he repeats. “What are you thinking, dating someone like Shae?”

  My good mood dissipates as fast as the words leave his mouth. “Watch your fucking mouth, Dante,” I warn, taking a step forward.

  He holds up his hands. “See? This is what I’m talking about. I’m not looking to fight with you. I like Shae. I really do, but you’ve never been like this with a woman before, let alone with a woman who—”

  I give him a look, and he sighs.

  “I was going to say a woman who doesn’t run in our circle. She doesn’t know where we come from, what we’re made of, and I don’t need to explain to you how dangerous that is.”

  Rolling my eyes, I open the bottom drawer of my desk and pull out two glasses and a bottle of scotch. I pour each of us a drink and hand a glass to Dante.

  “I don’t give a fuck if she runs in our circle; I like her,” I tell him. “I can’t remember the last time I was this happy.”

  “I can see that. But you barely know her.”

  I take a sip of my scotch. “I know enough, and isn’t that the whole point of dating? To get to know someone? You didn’t seem to have any reservations about her when we talked before.”

  “That’s because I didn’t think it would last.” Dante stares into his glass, swirling the scotch around. “She’s not like the women we’re used to.”

  “Trust me,” I laugh. “I know. That’s what I like about her.”

  “So you’re not just fucking around with her? This isn’t a game to you? Because her being a part of this life—our life—is a big fucking deal.”

  “No, it’s not a game.” Setting my glass down, I cross my arms over my chest. I have no idea where he’s going with this, but he better get there, fast. “Why don’t you say what’s really on your mind. Did she say something to piss you off?”

  “No.” His head snaps up. “That’s not it at all. She’s a cool chick, but…”

  He pauses, probably trying to arrange his words in a way that won’t end with my fist in the middle of his face.

  “She isn’t made for guys like us. She’s made for guys like that,” he says, pointing in the direction of the bar. “Guys who can afford to be members here. The kind with nine-to-five jobs who can give her two-point-five kids, a white picket fence, and a tire swing in the yard. A guy who will come home every night, a man who can provide a stable life.”

  Fucking son of a bitch.

  “We’re Ambrosis, Rex. Come on, think about this for a second. Forget everything you’re feeling, and fucking think about this.”

  Pinching my lips into a tight line, I look away. I don’t need him to explain, and I don’t need to think about it. I get it. We’re tainted. As much as we want to be like those men—clean hands and a bright future—it’ll never happen. That’s not who we are. The blood in our veins is poison, and it all but assures our destiny.

  I’ve tried to separate myself from that life—from my father’s life—but I’ll never be rid of it. The stigma of the Ambrosi name will follow me until the day I die.

  Frustrated, I push off the desk and pace across my office. Goddamn Dante for giving voice to the concerns that have been running on repeat in the back of my head.

  Tipping his head back, Dante takes the scotch in one gulp and sets the glass on my desk. “You and I, we’ve been around enough women to tell the difference between the good ones and the not-so-good ones. Some women are man-eaters, some are gold-diggers, and then there are women like Shae—perfect fucking angels we don’t touch. She’s on an entirely different scale, a scale we can’t even measure up to because whether we like it or not, we’ve already got blood on our hands, brother. And the way that girl looked at you just now? She’s all in, she’s for real, and if you’re not careful, she’s going to fall in love with your ass. Then one day she’ll expect the white picket fence and the tire swing and everything that comes along with it, and when you can’t give that to her, then what? Where does that leave her?”

  Maybe I want all those things.

  As soon as the thought passes through my head, I curse myself because it doesn’t matter what I want. That life isn’t in the cards for me.

  “Listen,” he says, running a hand over his face. His eyes blaze with determination. “I’m not telling you to walk away from her. I just want you to realize what you’re getting in to—what sort of life you’re bringing her in to—because you know as well as I do that once she’s a part of this, there’s no turning back. She deserves to know. You need to think long and hard about what you want in this life, and if she’s in that picture, you need to come clean and tell her.”

  Shit. He’s right. “I know.”

  For the first time since I’ve allowed myself to want more with Shae, doubt settles heavy in my gut. I’ve somehow convinced myself to look past my last name, to concentrate on the man I’m trying to be instead of the man my father wants me to be, and somewhere along the way I started to believe we could make this work.

  “Whatever you decide, just make sure it’s the right thing for both of you.”

  Easier said than done, because Shae is what’s right for me. I can feel that deep in my bones. But what if I’m not right for her?

  And if that isn’t
a punch to the gut, I don’t know what is.

  Dante squeezes my shoulder. “I’m here if you need to talk. And whatever you decide, I’m behind you, brother.”

  I give a noncommittal grunt as he lets himself out of my office.

  After he leaves, I pace some more, trying to clear my thoughts. But it doesn’t work, so I drive home in a haze and pace there.

  Three drinks later, my thoughts are still a jumbled mess. Adding alcohol to the mix probably wasn’t the best idea, but I’m going fucking crazy because every answer I come up with leads to walking away from Shae, and damn it, I don’t want to walk away from Shae.

  But as much as I hate to agree with him, Dante might be right. I hate it when he’s right.

  “Fuck,” I growl, shoving my fingers into my hair. Am I ready to walk away?

  No.

  Fuck no.

  But do I have a choice?

  I pour myself one more drink, only this time, as the amber liquid burns a path down my throat, my thoughts shift in a different direction, bringing on a healthy buzz and some much-needed clarity.

  “JJ,” I yell.

  “Yeah?”

  I got home from Vault thirty minutes ago, took a quick shower, tossed my hair in a knot on top of my head, and applied a light layer of mascara before stepping out of the bathroom, only I didn’t make it far because there’s a big pink box sitting on my bed, with an equally big bow, and it most certainly was not there when I got home.

  “What’s this?”

  A few seconds later he walks into my room. “That came while you were in the shower.”

  “I figured that much, but what is it? Who sent it?”

  “Really?” he admonishes, and I turn to look at him. “You have to ask? I don’t even know, and I already know.”

  “That doesn’t make sense.”

  “I’m guessing it’s from the same guy who called me at the ass crack of dawn last week and demanded I bring you a change of clothes.”

  I grin, remembering how much fun my surprise was.

  “Thank you for that.”

  JJ rolls his eyes. “I wasn’t going to do it, but he’s convincing, and I actually like the guy.”

  My smile grows, and then I remember that with JJ’s crazy work schedule, I never got to tell him about what Rex did.

  “He took me on a bike ride and had a group of strangers sing happy birthday to me.”

  “Didn’t he just have a skating party for you?”

  I nod. “He did.”

  Shaking his head, JJ sits on the edge of my bed. “The guy has it bad.”

  My eyes go all misty. “It was sweet.”

  “Disgustingly so. And you have it worse. Wipe that look off your face, and open the damn box.”

  “Maybe if you took the time to get to know one of your many conquests, you could find someone disgustingly sweet to dote on you.”

  “For your information, I enjoy my conquests,” he says, using air quotes. “When I’m ready to settle down, I will. But for now, would you open the damn box?”

  “Open what box? What are we talking about?” Erin walks into my room, chomping on a brownie.

  “There better be more where that came from,” JJ says, eyeing the gooey piece of chocolaty goodness in her hand.

  “Maybe there is, maybe there isn’t. How about you tell me the name of the girl I saw making the walk of shame through our living room at five o’clock this morning?”

  “What?” My mouth hangs open as I look from Erin to JJ. Her hip is jutted out as she waits for an answer, but JJ is tight-lipped.

  “There’s an entire pan of double fudge brownies somewhere in this house, and as soon as you tell me who the mystery woman was, I’ll tell you where to find it,” Erin says, licking chocolate from her fingers.

  JJ scowls. “You’re playing dirty.”

  She is playing dirty, and I love it. JJ has an addiction to brownies. They’re guaranteed to get him to squeal.

  Eyes locked on JJ as I wait for him to cave, I hold out a fist. Erin bumps it with hers.

  “Fine,” he growls. “Her name is Lauren, but she wasn’t making the walk of shame.”

  “Oooh, Lauren. I like that.”

  Erin lifts a brow. “Sure looked like the walk of shame to me.”

  “We work together. She came over to help me with a project, and we stayed up late talking. She fell asleep. Nothing happened. End of story.”

  I shake my head. “Nope. Sorry. Try again.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “She’s right,” Erin agrees. “You don’t bring girls home. Ever. Not with us in the house. Not to fuck and certainly not to talk.”

  “She’s different.”

  Erin and I both gasp, and he stands up, clearly frustrated.

  “I mean I don’t look at her like that. I don’t want to fuck Lauren. She’s a cool chick.”

  “Remember that whole getting-to-know-someone thing we talked about earlier?”

  “I am getting to know her,” JJ insists. “As a friend. She isn’t my type at all. I look at her the way I look at you two.”

  “Or maybe she’s exactly your type, but you’re too afraid to take a chance.”

  “Maybe you should open the goddamn box.” JJ picks up the box and shoves it at me.

  Erin sits cross-legged on the bed. “He’s right. Your love life is much more exciting. Open the box.”

  I start pulling the bow off and JJ asks, “Are you going to tell me where the brownies are?”

  “I didn’t really hide them. They’re on the kitchen counter. Now go.” Erin waves him off, and JJ scurries from the room as I lift the lid and set it aside.

  Erin tries to peek in, but I push her aside and take out the envelope that’s laying on top.

  Slipping my finger under the edge, I tear it open and pull out a note, along with a small silver key.

  Shae,

  A car will be waiting for you outside your building at seven-thirty. This key will open the door to the roof of my building. Meet me there. Bring the blanket and frosting. I have plans for both. See you soon.

  Rex

  I drop the letter, and Erin snatches it up as I reach inside the box. There’s a small purple tub with the familiar Sugar logo and a plush, white blanket.

  “You’re so lucky,” she croons, holding the letter to her chest.

  That’s pretty spot-on with how I feel. “So are you.”

  “Jacob’s amazing, but we’ve been together for years, and he hasn’t done anything remotely this sweet.” Setting the letter down, she reaches for the frosting. “A tub of icing? What’re you going to do with that?”

  “I’ll give you one guess.”

  She studies the tub and turns to me, a gleam in her eyes. “Shae Black, you dirty girl.”

  “What are we talking about?” JJ asks, returning to the bedroom, a brownie in each hand. “Oh good, you finally opened the box. Was I right? Was it from loverboy?”

  “They’re going to have a romantic evening on the roof of Rex’s building,” Erin announces. “They’ll cuddle under the stars, and he’s going to lick chocolate fudge icing off her body.”

  “Whoa, what?” JJ takes a step back. “Way too much information,” he says, continuing to step backward until he’s out of my room.

  Folding the blanket, I tuck it back in the box along with the icing and stuff the key in my pocket.

  “You better get moving.”

  I glance at the clock. “Oh, shit. I bet the car is already here.” Grabbing the box, I slip on my shoes and hurry downstairs. Sure enough, a black town car is waiting out front.

  An older gentleman sees me coming and takes a step forward. “Miss Black?”

  “That’s me.”

  He opens the door and I slide in, melting against the soft leather seats, and in a matter of seconds we’re weaving through the city traffic. It doesn’t take long to get to Rex’s, and when we arrive, the doorman smiles widely.

  “Good evening, Miss Black. Mr. Ambrosi said you’d
be coming by tonight.” He opens the door and ushers me into the quaint lobby. “You’re going to take the elevator to the fifteenth floor, and there will be a small staircase leading to the roof. Mr. Ambrosi gave you the key?”

  I pat my pocket. “Got it right here.”

  He nods, pressing the button for the elevator, and the door slides open. “Have a good evening, Miss Black.”

  I follow the directions, getting off the elevator and climbing the stairs. Using the key Rex gave me, I unlock the door, push it open, and step out onto the roof, smiling when I see what he’s done.

  The space is small, but beautiful. Strands of white lights are strung along the railings, providing enough light to see my way around. A wicker couch and chair are adorned with navy blue cushions, and there’s a round glass table with a stainless-steel bucket.

  Unsure of what’s in it, I walk across the small space and peek inside to find a bottle of sauvignon blanc buried in ice.

  For the second time in a week, my heart flutters with excitement. I place the frosting on the table next to the wine and pull the blanket from the box. Shaking it out, I curl up on the seat, my feet tucked under my butt, and wrap the cozy warmth around my legs.

  The days here are gorgeous, but the evenings can be cool, especially sitting on a roof, several stories up. Tilting my head back, I gaze up at the sky. The sun sits low in the horizon, casting the city in an array of beautiful colors. Streaks of red, orange, and pink paint the sky, and when a gentle breeze rushes past, my eyes drift shut, and I pretend I’m back at the lake on one of my birthdays.

  If I concentrate really hard, I can almost hear the movement of the water as it laps against the dock, but the sounds of crickets chirping and frogs croaking are long gone, replaced by the noise of the busy street below, and the moment passes almost as quickly as it came.

  Anxious for Rex to get here, I pull out my phone and text him so he knows I’m waiting.

  Me: I can’t believe you did this. It’s perfect. Now get up here and join me. This sunset is too magical to enjoy alone.

  I wait for a reply, but it never comes. I sit staring at my phone, wondering how I got here. When I came back to Chicago, it was to try to jog my memory—and if I was lucky, find my brother. I still want that, but somewhere along the way, my purpose changed. Rex charged his way into my life, took hold, and hasn’t let go. I don’t think I want him to.