"A minute or two to let it brew," intoned Inspector Springer. In an aside, he told Jherek: "It's what I've been missing most of all."
Jherek could not guess if he meant the tea itself or the ritual involved.
From a box at her side, Mrs. Underwood made a selection of biscuits, arranging them in a pattern upon a tin plate.
And at length the tea was poured. The milk was added. The sugar was added.
Inspector Springer was the first to sip.
"Ah!" The sense of occasion remained. "That's better, eh?"
Mrs. Underwood handed the large bowl to Captain Mubbers. He sniffed it, blew at it, then sucked up half the contents in a single inhalation.
"Gurp?" he enquired.
"Tea," she told him. "I hope it's to your taste. We have nothing stronger."
"Tee-ee!" Captain Mubbers, quick to mine innuendo from the least promising vein, glanced sidelong (with two of his pupils) at his companions. They sniggered. "Kroofrudi." He held out the cup for more.
"That's for all of you to share," she said firmly. She waved, to indicate his men. "All of you."
"Frit hrunti?" He seemed unwilling.
She took the bowl from him and gave it to the man next to him.
"Grotchit snirt." Captain Mubbers snorted and touched his comrade's elbow with his own. "Nootchoo?"
The Lat was amused. The tea burbled as he exploded with laughter.
Inspector Springer cleared his throat. Mrs. Underwood averted her eyes. Jherek, feeling a need to extend some sort of friendship to the Lat, bubbled his tea and laughed with them.
"Not you, Mr. Carnelian," she said. "You, surely, know better. Whatever else, you are not a savage"
"They offend your morality?"
"Morality, no. Merely my sensibilities."
"It strikes you as unaesthetic."
"Your analysis is accurate."
She had withdrawn from him again. He swallowed the stuff down. To him, it seemed crude, in taste and texture. But he accepted her standard; to serve it, and to win her approval, was all he desired.
The biscuits, one by one, were consumed.
Inspector Springer was the first to finish; he withdrew a large white handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed at his moustache. He was thoughtful. He voiced Jherek's concern of a short while before:
"Of course," he said, "this grub isn't going to last for ever now, is it?"
"It will not last very long at all," said Mrs. Underwood.
"And the Lat will try to steal it," added Jherek.
"They'll 'ave a job there." Inspector Springer spoke with the quiet confidence of the professional protector of property. "Being English, we're more fair-minded, and therefore we'll keep strict control of the supplies. Not, I suppose, that we can let them starve. We shall 'ave to eke 'em out — learn to live off the land. Fish and stuff."
"Fish?" Mrs. Underwood was uncertain. "Are there fish?"
"Monsters!" he told her. " 'Aven't you seen 'em? Sort of sharks, though a bit smaller. Catch one o' those beggars and we could eat for a fortnight. I'll put me mind to it." He had brightened again and seemed to be enjoying the challenges offered by the Lower Devonian. "I think I spotted a bit o' line in the 'amper. We could try using snails for bait."
Captain Mubbers indicated that his bowl was empty.
"Crotchnuk," he said ingratiatingly.
"No more," she said firmly. "Tea-time is over, Captain Mubbers."
"Crotchnuk mibix?"
"All gone," she said, as if to a child. She took the lid from the pot and showed him the sodden leaves. "See?"
His hand was swift. It seized the pot. The other dived into the opening, scooping out the tea-leaves, cramming them into his mouth. "Glop-pib!" he spluttered approvingly. "Drexy glop-pib!"
Fatalistically, Mrs. Underwood allowed him to complete his feast.
4. A Fresh Quest — On the Trail of the Hamper
"But, Inspector, you told us that the hamper could not be removed without bringing you instantly to wakefulness!" Mrs. Amelia Underwood was within an ace of tapping her foot; there was a note to her voice which Jherek recognized.
Inspector Springer also recognized it. He blushed as he held up the wrist to which was attached a severed thong. "I tied it to the 'amper," he said lamely. "They must o' cut it."
"How long have you been asleep, Inspector?" Jherek asked.
" 'Ardly at all. A few winks 'ere, a few there. Nothin' to speak of."
"They were hearty winks!" She drew in a sharp breath as she stared around her in the grey pre-dawn. "Judging by your snores. I heard them all night."
"Oh, come now, ma'am…"
"They could be miles away," said Jherek. "You should see them run, when they want to. You did not sleep well either, Mrs. Underwood?"
"Only the inspector, it seems, enjoyed a satisfying rest." She glared at the policeman. "If you want your house burgled, tell the police you're going on holiday. That's what my brother always used to say."
"That's 'ardly fair, ma'am…" he began, but he knew he was on shaky ground. "I took every precaution. But these foreigners — with their knives —" again he displayed the severed thong — "well, 'ow can you anticipate…?"
She inspected the surrounding sand, saying mournfully. " Look at all these footprints. Do you remember, Mr. Carnelian, when we would rise in the morning and go down to the sea and there wouldn't be a mark on the beach? Not a sign of another soul! It's so spoiled now." She was pointing. "There — a fresh trail. Leading inland."
Certainly, the ground was disturbed. Jherek detected the broad footprints of the departing Lat.
"They'll be carrying the 'amper," offered Inspector Springer, "so they'll be slowed down a bit." He clutched his midriff. "Ooh, I 'ate to start the day on an empty stomach."
"That," she said with satisfaction, "is entirely your fault, Inspector!"
She led the way forward while Jherek and Inspector Springer, tugging on their coats, did their best to keep pace with her.
Even before they had entered a large stretch of frond-forest and were labouring uphill, Mrs. Underwood's quick eye detecting a broken branch or a crushed leaf as sign-posts to the route of the thieves, the sun had risen, splendid and golden, and begun to beat its hottest. Inspector Springer made much use of his handkerchief on the back of his neck and his forehead, but Mrs. Underwood would not let them pause.
The hill grew steeper. It was virtually sheer. Still she led; still she allowed them no rest. They panted — Jherek cheerfully and Inspector Springer with loud resentment. At two stages he was heard to breathe the word "Women" in a desperate, incantatory fashion, and at a third he appended another word, in a voice which was entirely inaudible. Jherek, in contrast, was enjoying the exertion, the sense of adventure, though he had no belief that they could catch Captain Mubbers and his men.
She was a score of yards ahead of them, and higher. "Nearly at the top," she called.
Inspector Springer was not encouraged. He stopped, leaning against the stem of a fern which rose fifteen feet over his head and rustled as it took the weight of his bulky frame.
"It would be best," Jherek said, passing him, "if we were to remain as close together as possible. We could so easily become separated."
"She's a bloomin' mad woman," grunted the inspector. "I knew it all along." But he laboured after Jherek, even catching him up as he clambered over a fallen trunk which left a smear of green on the knees of his trousers. Jherek sniffed. "Your smell! I wondered — I haven't quite smelt anything like it before? It is you. Very odd. Pleasant, I suppose…"
"Gur!" said Inspector Springer.
Jherek sniffed again, but continued to climb, now using his hands and his feet, virtually on all fours. "Certainly pungent…"
"Cor! You cheeky little b—"
"Excelsior!" It was Mrs. Underwood's voice, though she could no longer be seen. "Oh, it's magnificent!"
Inspector Springer caught hold of Jherek's ankle. "If you've any further personal comments, I'd be m
ore than grateful if you'd keep them to yourself."
"I'm sorry, Inspector." Jherek tried to free his foot. He frowned. "I certainly meant no offence. It's simply that such smells — perspiration, is it? — are uncommon at the End of Time. I love it. Really."
"Ugh!" Inspector Springer let go of Jherek's foot. "I 'ad you marked right from the start, too. Bloomin' cream puff. Cafe Royal — Oscar Wilde — should 'ave trusted me own judgement…"
"I can see them!" Mrs. Underwood's voice again. "The quarry's in sight!"
Jherek pressed past a low branch and saw her through the dappled fronds.
"Ouch!" said Inspector Springer from behind him. "Cor! If I ever get back to London and if I ever lay 'ands on you…"
The belligerence seemed to give him energy, enabling him, once more, to catch up. They arrived, shoulder to shoulder, to stand at Mrs. Underwood's side. She was flushed. Her eyes shone. She pointed.
They stood on the edge of a cliff that was almost sheer, its sides dotted with clumps of vegetation. Some hundreds of feet below them the cliff levelled out to a broad, stony beach, touching the wide, placid waters of a creek whose brilliant blue, reflecting the sky, was in beautiful and harmonious contrast with the browns, greens and yellows of the flanking cliffs.
"It is simple," she said, "and it is magnificent! Look, Mr. Carnelian! It goes on forever. It is the world! So much of it. All virgin. Not even a wild beast to disturb its vast serenity. Imagine what Mr. Ruskin would say to all this. Switzerland cannot compare…" She was smiling now at Jherek. "Oh, Mr. Carnelian — it is Eden. It is!"
"Hm," said Inspector Springer. "It's pretty enough scenery. But where's our little friends? You said —"
"There!"
Tiny figures could be seen on the beach. There was activity. They were at work.
"Making something, by the look of it," murmured Inspector Springer. "But what?"
"A boat, probably." She spread an arm. "You'll observe there is just a small area of beach — a sort of cove, really. The only way to continue is across the water. They will not turn back, for fear of our pursuit."
"Aha!" Inspector Springer rubbed his hands together. "So we've got 'em, ripe. We'll nab 'em before they can ever —"
"They are seven," she reminded him. "We are three. And one of us a woman."
"Yes," he said. "That's true." He lifted his bowler between thumb and forefinger, scratching his head with his little finger. "But we're bigger. And we 'ave the advantage of surprise. Surprise is often worth more than any amount of 'eavy artillery…"
"So I gather from the Boys' Own Paper ," she said sourly. "But I would give much, at this moment, for a single revolver."
"Not allowed to carry them in the ordinary way, ma'am," he said portentously. "If we had received information…"
"Oh, really, Inspector!" She was exasperated. "Mr. Carnelian? Have you any suggestions?"
"We might frighten them off, Mrs. Underwood, long enough for us to regain the hamper."
"And have them chase and overwhelm us? No. Captain Mubbers must be captured. With a hostage, we can hope to return to our camp and bargain with them. I had hoped to maintain civilized behaviour. However…"
She inspected the cliff edge. "They descended here. We shall do the same."
"I've never 'ad much of an 'ead for 'eights." Inspector Springer watched dubiously as she swung herself over the edge and, clinging to tufts of foliage and outcroppings of rock, began to climb downwards. Jherek, concerned for her safety, yet acknowledging her leadership, watched her carefully, then he followed her. Grumbling, Inspector Springer blundered in the rear. Little showers of stones and loose earth fell on Jherek's head.
The cliff was not so steep as Jherek had imagined, and the descent became noticeably easier after the first thirty feet so that at times they could stand upright and walk.
It seemed to Jherek that the Lat had seen them, for their activity became more frenetic. They were building a large raft, from the stems of the bigger ferns which grew near the water, using strips of their torn up pyjamas to hold the rather fleshy trunks together. Jherek knew little of such matters, but it seemed to him that the raft would become waterlogged and sink. He wondered if the Lat could swim. Certainly, he could not.
"Ah! We are too late!" Mrs. Underwood began to let herself slide down the cliff, ripping her already tattered dress in several places, careless of modesty, as she saw Captain Mubbers order their hamper placed in the middle of the raft. The six Lat, under the command of their captain, lifted the raft and began to bear it towards the brackish waters of the creek.
Jherek, anxious to remain close to her, copied her example, and was soon sliding without control after her.
"Stop!" she cried, forgetting her plans to capture Captain Mubbers. "We wish to bargain!"
Startled, perhaps, by the wild descent, the Lat began to run with their raft until they were up to their waists in water. Captain Mubbers jumped aboard. The raft tilted. He flung himself upon the hamper, to save it. The raft swung out at an angle and the Lat began to flounder after it, pulling themselves aboard as best they could, but two were left behind. Their shrieks could be heard by the human beings, who had almost reached the bottom of the cliff.
"Ferkit!"
"Kroofrudi!"
"Nukgnursh!"
Captain Mubbers and his men had left their paddles on the beach. With their hands, they tried to force the raft back towards the land.
"Quickly!" cried Mrs. Underwood, a general still. "Seize them. There are our hostages!"
The raft was now many yards from the shore, though Captain Mubbers seemed determined not to abandon his men.
Jherek and Inspector Springer waded into the shallows and grabbed at the two Lat, who were now almost up to their necks in the waters of the creek. They splashed; they tried to kick, but were gradually herded back to where Mrs. Underwood, blazing and determined, awaited them (it was evident that they were much more nervous of Mrs. Underwood than of those they recognized as her minions).
"Knuxfelp!" cried Captain Mubbers to his men. "Groo hrunt bookra!" His voice grew fainter.
The two Lat reached the beach, dodged past Mrs. Underwood, and began to make for the cliff. They were in a state of panic.
"Blett mibix gurp!" screamed one of the hysterical Lat as he fell over a stone. His comrade helped him to his feet, glaring behind him at the drifting raft. It was then that he suddenly transfixed — all three pupils focussed on the raft. He ignored Jherek and Inspector Springer as they ran up and laid hands on him. Jherek was the first to look back.
There was something in the water, besides the raft. A glittering green, insect-like body, moving very rapidly.
"Gawd!" breathed Inspector Springer. "It must be over six feet long!"
Jherek glimpsed antennae, white-grey claws, spiny and savage, a rearing, curling tail, armed with brown tusks, paddle-shaped back legs, all leaping half-out of the thick waters, attacking the raft.
There were two loud snapping noises, close together, and the front claws had each grasped a Lat. They struggled and screamed. The tusky tail swung up and round clubbing them unconscious. Then the gigantic scorpion (for it resembled nothing else) had returned to the depths, leaving debris behind, a bobbing wickerwork hamper, green pulpy logs to which the surviving Lat clung.
Jherek saw a trail in the distant water, near the middle of the creek. He knew that this must be another such beast; he waded forward, offering his arms to the desperate Lat and shouting:
"Oh, what a jolly adventure, after all! The Duke of Queens could not have arranged a more sensational display! Just think, Mrs. Underwood — none of this was engineered. It is all happening spontaneously — quite naturally. The scorpions! Aren't they superbly sinister, sweet sister of the sphinx!"
"Mr. Carnelian!" Her voice was more than urgent. "Save yourself. More of the creatures come from all sides!"
It was true. The surrounding water was thick with gigantic scorpions. They converged.
Jherek drew Cap
tain Mubbers and another Lat back to the shore. But a third was too slow. He had time to cry one last "Ferkit!" before the claws contracted and the great tail thumped and he became a subject of contention between the scorpion who had caught him and those of the scorpion's comrades who were disappointed at their own lack of success.
Mrs. Underwood reached his side. There was alarm and disapproval on her features. "Mr. Carnelian — you frightened me so. But your bravery…"
He raised both eyebrows.
"It was superb," she said. Her voice had softened, but only momentarily. She remembered the hamper. It was the only thing left afloat, and apparently was without interest for the scorpions, who continued to dispute the ownership of the rapidly disintegrating corpse which occasionally emerged above the surface of the creek. There was foam, and there was blood.
The hamper bobbed up and down in the eddy created by the warring water scorpions; it had almost reached the middle of the creek.
"We must follow its drift," she said, "and hope to catch up with it later. Is there a current? Inward or outward? Where is the sea?"
"We must watch," said Jherek. "With luck, we can plot its general course at least."
Something fishy appeared above the surface near the hamper. A brown, glistening back, with fins, slid from view almost immediately.
"The sharks," said Inspector Springer. "I told you about them."
The hamper, which made this world a true Eden, rose under the back of at least one large finny creature. It turned over.
"Oh! " cried Mrs. Underwood.
They saw the hamper sink. They saw it rise again. The lid had swung open, but still it bobbed.
Quite suddenly, Mrs. Underwood sat down on the shingle and began to cry. To Jherek, the sound diminished all those which still issued from that savage Lower Devonian creek. He went to her. He seated himself beside her and he put a slim arm around her lonely shoulders.
It was then that a small power-boat, its motor whining, rounded the headland. It contained two black-clad figures, one seated at the wheel, the other standing up with a boathook in its hands. The craft made purposefully for the hamper.
The End of All Songs dateot-3 Page 3
