by Xyla Turner
That was how I liked it.
“Kat, you might want to get out here. I think that rally got bad. There are a few cops out here at the emergency room,” Wendy yelled.
I was around the corner, organizing the patient’s files.
Shit, I figured it would get crazy but I hoped there weren’t any casualties.
“What’s going on?” I walked around the corner and saw three police officers holding another one up. His face looked like it was smashed in since he had blood everywhere and would probably need to get stitches and some cosmetic reconstruction done.
“Hey, let’s get him over here.” I waved to the officers and signaled for Wendy to get a doctor.
They carried him into the empty room and then the intercom beeped and said, “Kat, you’re needed at the main emergency entrance.”
Shit.
“Hey, I’ll be right back.” I told the officers. “The doctor should be in shortly.”
“What’s up?” I asked Wendy.
She pointed to the main entrance; showing that there were more officers.
Holy shit.
At least five came through the door this time but no one looked as bad as the other guy. However, one of the guys was being restrained by the other four officers.
“Nurse, I think his hand is broken, but he’s, uh, he’s a little agitated.” The older officer smiled at me. “We can hold him down while you tape him up.”
“Let’s get you guys in a room first.” I nodded.
“Wait, did another cop come here. They can’t be near each other.” The other cop was shaking his head as if to say, do not do it.
“Uh, okay. Follow me.” I led them to the other side of the emergency ward.
The men nearly dragged the guy, whose face I could hardly see, and almost sat on him to stay on the bed.
“Let me the fuck go?” He roared.
I thought he sounded familiar as I called for the doctor, adding a message that he may need a sedative.
“Can you guys move out of the way, just a bit, so I can see his hand?” I asked.
“Yeah, but like I said, he’s highly agitated,” The cop warned.
When the police officer lifted up from his chest, I was able to see who it was. Although his red face was twisted in anger and pain, I knew it was him.
“Vic?” I called as his body went still and his eyes connected with mine.
I shooed the guy away so I could go to his side. “Are you alright?”
The pain in his eyes was too much for me. My eye ducts almost immediately filled as I could see he wasn’t in pain because his hand might have been broken, he was in another sort of pain.
Fuck.
His head slightly turned as if he was going to shake it to tell me that he was not okay. However, he didn’t do that. He just stared up at the ceiling.
“We’re fine, officers. He’ll be fine. Can you wait outside?” I asked.
“Sure, but are you sure?” The first guy asked.
“Yes, I’m positive. He’ll be fine.” I laid my hand on his chest.
They all let him go and piled outside the door of the examination room.
“You can’t or won’t tell me?” I asked.
He moved his head so he could hold my eyes but he said nothing.
“Okay.” I nodded. “Can you move your fingers?”
There was some movement from a few of them so I touched his hand and asked, “Do you feel this?”
He nodded.
“This.” I moved my hand up to his wrist.
He nodded.
“This.” I moved my hand to his index finger.
He nodded.
“Okay, it might be a sprain but you’ll need to get X-rays for that. I’ll have a doctor check you out.” I went to turn but his voice stopped me.
“Kat.”
My body turned to face him again, “Yeah.”
“Stay,” he cleared his throat. “For a little while, please. Can you stay?”
Shit.
“Yeah, Vic. I’ll stay for a little. They might call me away but I’ll come back. Okay?”
He nodded his head.
I grabbed a chair, moved it closer to him and sat down. He didn’t say anything and neither did I, but the room was filled with many words that probably weren’t connected for either of us. I thought about our march, DaShawn and what that boy meant to Vic and I knew it did matter to him. Whether he was self-destructing or just reached a point in his life when he didn’t care. That boy’s death mattered deeply to Victor Ritter.
Later in the evening, Don had texted me that Corey made the call for everyone to go home a little after midnight and we’d reconvene another time for the next city shut down. The good news was that everyone remained peaceful, no one was hurt but in the meantime, I knew cops were beating the shit out of each other.
I was able to stay with Vic for about forty minutes and he still hadn’t said anything. Throughout my shift, I would come by and check on him. Although he remained quiet, he acknowledged that I was in the room with a nod, a look or a head tilt.
When it was time for him to be discharged, he stayed in the waiting room.
“Hey, Vic.” I went to him since my shift was practically over. “What’d the doctor say?”
“Sprain, like you said. I’m in a cast for a few weeks and then it’ll be like new.” He spouted off with a visible effort to stay awake.
“Oh, okay. Cool. Uh, are you waiting for someone to come and get you?” I asked.
“No one’s coming to get me.” He turned his head back to staring at the wall.
“Do you want me to call an Uber or something?” I sat down so it didn’t seem like I was towering over him.
“No, no.” He shook his head. “I shouldn’t be alone right now. So, I’m going to stay here for a bit.”
“Vic, you can’t stay here,” I touched his knee which caused his gaze to shift down. “Sorry.”
I moved my hand.
“Can’t be alone, Kat. I just can’t,” he said.
“Fine, I’ll call Ryan.” I went to pull out my phone but he stopped me.
“No, he’s a D (detective) and that takes things to another level.” He stared off again. “I’m fine here.”
“You’re not fine here, Vic.”
Fuck.
I didn’t know him like that but I knew he probably wasn’t in any condition to be alone and he definitely couldn’t stay in the hospital.
“Hey, how about I take you home?”
Vic’s head turned towards me and he said, “Kat, I’m fine. Okay.”
“You’re not fine, Vic. You’re hurting physically and emotionally. That’s okay; you’re human. Life, that bitch, hurts but you can’t stay here. You don’t want to go home or to your friend’s house. Come on, work with me here.”
He stared off again and that’s when I had enough.
“Fine.” I grabbed his heavy bag and good arm. “Let’s go.”
“Where are we going?” Vic warned.
“My place.”
Now, why the hell I thought that was a good idea, beats the hell out of me.
But…I did.
When we arrived at my apartment near Chester Avenue, Vic didn't really say much of anything except that it wasn't necessary that I take him anywhere. Besides that, he stared off into his own personal hell.
“You have a nice place,” he commented after he sat down on the couch.
“Thanks, you want something to drink?” I offered.
“It's only seven in the morning,” he eyed me. “What I want to drink I shouldn't drink this early.”
My head nodded as I poured a small amount of Vodka in a glass.
“Here ya go,” I nodded towards the drink. “With the night you've had, I'm sure you could use a small drink.”
I poured myself one as well and rounded the sofa to sit.
“You want me to call anyone?” I asked again for good measure.
Vic’s eyes fell on mine and I nodded.
&n
bsp; That was a negative.
“So, who was DaShawn to you?” I figured I'd go there instead.
“Don't, Kat.” He warned as he stared at the sun coming up.
“Okay, well I'm going to go and…” I started to stand up and leave but Vic grabbed my wrist.
“Don't leave,” he said with a shake of the head. “I just don't want to, uh, talk right now. I’m not really in a good place, Kat. I, uh…”
I sat back down and said, “I get it. It's fine.”
Vic turned towards me and his eyes were weary and full of pain.
“Shit, I'm sorry,” I exclaimed. “I didn't take you to fill your prescription.”
“No, I don't mess with that shit,” he exclaimed. “I'm fine.”
Okay.
“Do you want to watch TV?” I asked, feeling like I didn't have anything for him to do except be silent; which was weird.
“No, no.” He exhaled. “Tell me about you. Who’s Kat?”
He leaned back and laid his head on the top of the sofa.
I laughed, “Okay, who am I?” I pulled my feet up under me and proceeded. “My name is Katherine Long but most call me Kat. I'm from the old Harlem; stayed there for over thirty years until I moved out here. Lived in The Trap like D’asia for a long time and had to get the fuck out.”
Vic chuckled.
“I'm the lead nurse at Mt. Sinai’s Emergency Center and that's been my title for three years. I've been a nurse for twelve years and it's something I've always wanted to do. Uh, I have an older brother named Don and our father was killed when we were young, so he raised me. I'm very finicky about food. My favorite color is pink, and my next adventure will include skydiving.”
When I peeked over, I saw that his eyes weren't open and his breathing had evened out.
He was asleep.
Damn.
I was almost certain he'd not been able to get any sleep in the past few nights, so this totally made sense.
I covered him with the throw blanket and curled up on the love seat where I started to close my eyes as well. It had been a long shift and surprisingly enough, most of that shift was spent staying in the room with Vic, including now.
“Vic is with you now?” D’asia asked for the third time.
“Yeah, uh, he didn't want me to call Ryan. I don't know any details but he's here asleep. Don't ask. But I'm not sure what to do. He didn't want to be by himself. D’asia, he doesn't look good,” I noted.
“Tell me about it,” she sighed. “DaShawn was a member of UNITE and Ryan has been in a slump too, but I can only imagine how Vic is taking it. They were tight and Vic is as loyal to the force as they come. He is one of the few that remained an officer because he wanted to. He wanted to make a difference at the ground level. He was the first one to sign up for mentoring with UNITE. But losing DaShawn probably hit home on many levels, including the fact that it was a dumb ass cop.”
Goddamn.
“Ryan is livid. He's been hell on wheels. So, my advice is to try to keep him sane, girl.” She continued.
“Wait, what do you mean? He needs to go home, right? Don't they have folks he can talk to?” I asked.
Why was she acting like I was his designated guardian or something?
D’asia laughed, then said, “Girl, you ever try to get them to see a shrink? Ha! They’re not going unless they are forced.”
“Well, I just brought him over here because I didn't want to leave him at the hospital and you know how I feel about this sort of shit. I mean, don't get me wrong, but D’asia…he's gotta go.”
“Kat, I'm sorry but I'm not sure what you want me to do. Ryan is in no position. I'm telling you. They are both hurting right now and bad. You did a good thing Kat, just keep trying. Look, I have to go, but I'll give you a call back.”
“Wait!” I yelled.
She hung up.
What the hell was I supposed to do with him?
Ain't this about a bitch.
After taking a shower, preparing something to eat and getting myself ready to tackle the duty that I brought upon myself, I went back into the living room and saw that Vic was still asleep. It was going on four o’clock in the afternoon and I knew he needed to sleep, but we also had to get a plan. Maybe he’d be okay to go home.
Standing over him but behind the couch, I poked him in the arm.
No response.
I poked him twice.
Nothing.
So, I pinched him.
He jumped up, feet first, yelling, “Oww.”
I took a step back because he looked ready to kill.
“Fuck?” He was turning around attempting to take in his surroundings.
Then his eyes laid on me and he asked, “Kat?”
“Yeah, sorry.” I put my hands up with a slight smirk. “I didn’t know if you needed to be at work or go somewhere. You’ve been asleep for over eight hours.”
“Fuck,” he said as his eyes blinked several times. “Shit, man. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. Uh, how are you feeling?” I pointed to his hand.
“Shit,” he exhaled.
It must have all started coming back like a flood because he closed his eyes for a long moment.
“I’m fine.”
My legs took me around the sofa as I watched him process everything.
“Are you hungry?” I asked. “I made some food.”
Vic blinked for a long time and said, “Yeah, sure. Can I ask you another favor?”
“Yeah, what’s up?”
“Is it possible if I can use your shower? I just um, would like to freshen up, please and get out of these clothes.” He stood.
“Uh, yeah. Just be careful to not get that wet.” I pointed to his wrapped up hand.
Vic grabbed his bag, looked to me and I pointed to the door at the end of the hall. I went into the kitchen where I could see into the living room from the open window and re-heated the salmon, asparagus and yellow rice.
If someone had told me that I’d be in a situation like this a day ago, I would have called them a goddam liar. A cop in my home, taking a shower and about to break bread with one at the same table. Shit, Don would lose his everlasting mind.
Once the food was heated enough, I put it on a plate and doubled his portions since he was a man. Well, Vic was a big, hefty man, one not to be fucked with and could ‘put a man down’ sort of man. He was handsome too, but that was not any of my business.
Twenty minutes later, Vic emerged from the mouth of the hall in a fitted black t-shirt, jeans that gave some indication of the muscles under them and white socks on his feet. He was standing in the kitchen doorway staring back at me.
“What?” He asked.
“Oh, nothing.” I turned my gaze towards the running water. “Your plate is on the table in the dining room.”
“Thank you, Kat.” He walked into the kitchen. “I really appreciate all that you’ve done.”
When I turned around, the man was standing in my physical space staring at me.
“Uh, right. Yeah, no problem,” I said as I cut the water off and took a step back.
When I thought Vic was about to approach me again, I quickly moved to the side and exited the kitchen.
“Food’s ready,” I called behind me, trying to escape the mood.
Yup, homeboy had to go after this.
Chapter Five
Refuge
VIC
Every muscle in my body had been activated as I sat and ate with Kat. I struggled to stay here with her at the moment because my mind kept wandering back to the video of seeing DaShawn get shot in cold-blooded murder by one of my brothers in blue.
Cold fucking blood.
He didn’t deserve that and he did not have that coming. Fuck, even if DaShawn did have a stash, he didn’t deserve that shit. I swear my body went into a feverish mode every time I thought about it. It was as if the steam was really coming from the top of my ears and head.
“Vic,” Kat called me back.
�
�Sorry,” I answered and ate some more food.
“I know you don’t want to talk to anyone and it’s so soon after, but it might help,” she said. “I’m just saying.”
My head nodded at her comment, even though there wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that I would. She meant well.
That was about all I could do before my mind went back to the realization that DaShawn would never talk to me again. He wouldn’t walk to my desk with some bullshit about needing to come and meet me. He came almost every day and I had no idea how I could go through that again. UNITE was a great initiative but not watching him stroll through those doors killed me internally to even fathom.
Once I had realized it was Sever who shot him, I drove to the precinct even though my Lieutenant told me to take a few days and put me on administrative leave with pay. He was sitting at a desk with the rest of the guys on leave, collecting a check. They didn’t do a thing except shoot the shit.
“Sever,” I called.
“Hey Ritter,” he smiled. “What’s going on man, you look like shit?”
He didn’t know there was any connection to him killing one of the few people who could put a smile on my face.
“Feel like shit,” I answered as I reached his desk. “Can I talk to you a minute?”
“Yeah, man. What’s up?” He stood up and walked with me to the corner. “Can’t really do shit else. I’m at the fucking desk. You hear about that shit? You believe it. We can’t even police anymore without those fucking cameras.”
My hand started to itch at that comment, but I had to know. I’m not sure why but I had to know why.
“Yeah man, what happened?” I lowered my voice.
He leaned in and said, “Man, this thug was trying to play me and act like he ain’t have a stash. They always have a goddamn stash. You know what I mean? You patrol. So then I say, get on the ground. He starts shaking his fucking head.”
Sever’s face was twisted in disbelief that he had the audacity to shake his head at him.
“Then,” Sever lowered his voice again and said, “The motherfucker had the nerve to walk away from me. Before I knew it, I shot his ass a few times. You know. I mean, I wasn’t even thinking. It just happened. I wasn’t really trying to kill him.”
