I tried to push up from the ground but was still having a hell of a time filling my lungs with oxygen.
“Shall I assume you are so pleased to see me that you have lost the ability to form words?” he asked, stretching out a hand that I struggled to take. As soon as I touched him, I could feel the coldness of his hand, as well as his soft skin.
Sinjin was real! I wasn’t imagining him! Which meant he wasn’t dead! He was safe! The words rang through me like chiming bells announcing something wonderful.
He yanked me up, but my knees immediately buckled because I was still struggling to breathe. Maybe my brief magical stint drained all the energy I had left. As soon as I started to wilt, Sinjin wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against his barrel chest.
I usually detested it when anyone tried to touch me, but I immediately collapsed into Sinjin’s embrace, allowing him to hold me upright. Somehow, he just felt so safe. But cold. Really damn cold. But as long as he was real and he was here, suddenly nothing else mattered.
“Sin,” I started to say as I took a shallow breath and my lungs burned with the effort. I closed my eyes before the vertigo started to make my head spin.
“Shh, my pet, you have taken quite a fall.” His smile returned. “Perhaps you have learned not to parry with opponents that are forged from iron.”
All the relief and joy I previously felt fled in an instant, only to be replaced with anger. How could he have ever been so stupid as to take on Luce by himself? Did he know that his actions made me worry about him night and day? Now I was even madder that I had worried about him night and day.
“What,” I started as I pulled away from him. Growing dizzy again, I thrust my hands onto my thighs and leaned over, trying to catch my breath long enough to dispel the stars in front of my eyes. “What the hell? What’s wrong with you?”
“Wrong with me?” he repeated as he shook his head, feigning innocence. “Why, nothing is the matter with me, my little tempest. But sadly, you appear slightly impaired after your inadequate attempt to assault me.”
“It wasn’t any attempt,” I barked back at him. I was still hunched over and trying to catch my breath which made speech difficult. “I did assault you.”
“Really? Yet you appear to be the handicapped victim while I am happily no worse for the wear.”
“You’re bleeding,” I pointed out with a bit more vitriol as my breathing was being slowly restored. When he doubted my observation, I reached my hand toward his mouth and wiped the blood onto my finger. “See?”
Licking his lips, a split second later, the wound was fully healed and vanished as if I’d never hit him.
“Touché, my dear, although I still believe that you fared worse than I.”
“Beside the point,” I quipped as I straightened up and took another deep breath, stretching my arms over my head. “The most important thing that happened is that I sensed you in the air and defended myself.”
“Yes, I suppose you did,” he answered. He seemed overcome with ennui. “Though I was certainly expecting quite a different homecoming.”
His words burned through me when I reminded myself of where he’d been all this time and what he was doing without my blessing or approval. “You have a lot of nerve, you know that?” I spat at him as I took a few steps away. I was trying to work the pins and needles out of my extremities.
“Yes, I have always possessed vast amounts of nerve, or courage, as it were,” he answered with a playful shrug and a smile. “Why do you bother to point out the obvious, Princess?”
“Because there should be no welcoming party for you at all!” I unloaded my anger on him, my voice as harsh as my narrowed eyes. “What you did was complete idiocy, and you’re lucky you didn’t get yourself killed in the process!”
“I am afraid it required quite a bit more than luck,” he grumbled. He seemed put out by my annoyance.
“Whatever it was, it was stupid.”
“A simple ‘thank you’ would suffice,” he responded with a frown. Crossing his large arms over his chest, he regarded me coolly.
“A thank you?” I shook my head. “You expect me to thank you for removing the only opportunity I had to avenge myself?” I roared at him, and he frowned, clearly surprised to hear this. “Yeah, you heard me right! This was my pain and my fight, not yours!”
“I did what any respectable man would have done in the same situation.”
“No!” I yelled at him. “You did what you thought could earn you some glory points in front of the queen!” Taking a deep breath, I glared at him. “Not to mention that I’ve been worrying about you every second, and wondering if you were even still alive!”
His frustration with me disappeared and a wide grin took its place. “You were worried about me, pet?”
“Yes!” I screamed at him before shaking my head. “I mean, no!” I threw my hands into the air. “Not worried about you like … like that! So wipe that smirk off your face because I’m fucking pissed off!”
I was beyond exhausted and not really in any mood to argue with him. That and I also couldn’t deny the relief that overcame me as soon as I realized he was alive. Well, as alive as any vampire could be. But for some reason, my feelings of relief were even annoying me. Now that I knew Sinjin was alive, I didn’t want to be relieved any longer. I wanted to rage at him. I wanted him to realize that his actions were selfish and stupid.
I glanced at the ground and huffed out a deep breath before bringing my eyes back to his. He was staring at me in an endearing sort of way, like he didn’t mind me lambasting him at all. And that bugged me even more. “Do me a favor?” I started.
“Anything, madam.” He stretched out an arm, wrapping it around his waist and then bowing deeply as though he were back in Victorian England and a member of the king’s court.
I glared at him. “Stop looking at me like I’m your next meal.”
Releasing a robust laugh, I have to say that it soothed me as much as it annoyed me. God, there was just something special about Sinjin. He was equally infuriating as he was charming.
“I will admit that your blood was the best I have ever tasted, but I had no intention of making you my next meal, my paramour.”
I stepped away from him and narrowed my eyes, feeling like I needed more personal space. I was trying to focus on anything other than the ice blue of his eyes, which almost faded to white in the moonlight. He moved in close beside me as we slowly navigated our way farther into the forest.
“I am pleased to see you, bête noire,” he whispered, and I ignored the butterflies that started in my stomach. I refused to let him affect me this way, not when there was so many more important considerations on my mind. I had so many questions to ask him.
“We need to talk, Sinjin.” I didn’t bother glancing at him but kept my face forward.
“Words from the mouth of a woman which always cause a man to shudder.”
“I’m serious.”
“As am I.”
I gave him a look which said I wasn’t in the mood to play games, and he raised his brows slightly, trying his best to look virtuous. He reached out and took my hand. As soon as his skin touched mine, my heartbeat increased and my breath hitched. I couldn’t tell you why I didn’t pull my hand away. It was almost as if I needed to feel his touch and rejoice in the realization that he was no longer Luce’s prisoner or, worse, dead. There was something rich and fulfilling while being together, walking hand-in-hand into the forest. I loved knowing Sinjin was right there, next to me … and best of all, he was safe.
“You had no right to avenge me,” I repeated, this time more softly.
“Exactly what did Betta tell you?” he asked as he glanced down at me with arched brows. “Or perhaps I should ask how much she told you?”
“Everything, I think.” I narrowed my eyes and pursed my lips. “Why did you go to the compound when I specifically asked you not to?”
“You are not my queen, Princess, and therefore, I do not obey orders fr
om you.”
“You don’t obey orders from anyone, Jolie included.”
He shook his head. “If the queen forbids any action, I will not do it.”
I frowned up at him. “Anyway,” I said with a groan, “you had no right to avenge me without my permission!” Crossing my arms over my chest, I stared directly into his eyes. They changed from vibrant blue to stark white as he studied my obviously irritated demeanor.
“I intended to avenge Kinloch Kirk.”
“What does that even mean?” I barked back at him, flustered at his enigmatic response. Nothing happened to Kinloch Kirk. “Avenge Kinloch Kirk? That makes no sense.”
“It makes perfect sense,” he argued. “When one of our own is attacked, the perpetrators have also offended our entire kingdom.”
Was it presumptuous of me to assume that his attack was only to avenge me? The more I thought about it, the more convinced I became that even if the attack happened to anyone else at Kinloch Kirk, Sinjin would have done the same thing. Was I just the variable?
I swallowed down the acidic bile that suddenly started climbing up my throat. I didn’t want to be the variable, or know that whatever happened to me made no difference than if it happened to someone else. Well, in Sinjin’s eyes anyway.
I dropped his hand and shoved both of my hands into my pockets. “So whom did you attack exactly?”
“Only those who attacked us, Bryn.” He clasped his hands in front of himself and appeared stoic, not his usual playful self.
I felt my cheeks coloring at the mention of “us.” There was no “us.” It was only me that got attacked, and me who suffered. It was me alone.
“It didn’t feel like us when it was happening to me.”
Sinjin didn’t say anything. He glanced around the forest and remained silent. When he finally spoke again, his voice was low. “I thought perhaps it would be easier for you to accept my involvement if you regarded the attack as one against our people rather than just yourself,” he explained, and his expression was serious. “Then it becomes less personal.” He glanced down at me and his eyes were full of something. Regret?
“I apologize for my choice of words if they were insensitive or in any way downplayed your experience. That was not my intention.”
His apology surprised me. A lot. In general, Sinjin didn’t apologize for anything. And, prior to that moment, I would have wagered he was incapable of it.
“Well, I appreciate the fact that you’re treating this whole thing with kid gloves, but you don’t have to,” I responded as I looked up at him earnestly. “I’m not weak. I know what happened to me. You know what happened to me. So let’s just call it like it is?”
“Very well,” he answered with a clipped nod.
“Did you accomplish what you set out to do?” I asked him, my heartbeat increasing as I awaited his response.
“Partially,” he answered, his lips suddenly pressing into a tight line. “But I will not rest until my mission is fully accomplished.”
“Consider yourself damn lucky you escaped,” I replied icily. “If you go back, you’d only be tempting fate, and I doubt you’d be so lucky the second time around.” I gulped down my anger as images of my nightmare suddenly ransacked my mind. “There’s something else you should know.”
“And that is?” he asked, eyeing me with visible interest.
This was the moment of truth. Looking up at Sinjin now, I knew I had to share my dream with him. The need was almost burning inside me. Even if Jolie and Mathilda wanted to drop it, I couldn’t. I still wasn’t convinced that the nightmare wasn’t some sort of warning. And maybe Sinjin obtained some information during his time at Luce’s camp that could prove or disprove what I’d seen. That was my sincere hope anyway.
I slowed down and turned to face him. There was something inside me that wanted to reach out and touch him, if only to fully convince myself that he was really there, but I didn’t.
“The other night,” I started to say as I exhaled, suddenly getting worried that he would relegate me to no more than a frightened, silly child afraid of the dark. Reminding myself I didn’t care what he thought because I knew what I’d seen, I began, “I had a bad nightmare that I fear could be a vision of what’s to come.”
“Go on.”
I cleared my throat and felt my body shuddering as the images started to invade my overwhelmed mind. “Did you see Luce while you were at the camp?” I asked him, staring straight ahead, slightly afraid to hear his answer.
“I did.”
I stopped walking and turned to Sinjin. He reached out and ran his fingers down the side of my face. I knew he could see the fear in my eyes.
“Why are you so afraid?” he asked, and his tone was deep and rich. “I can hear your heart thundering inside your chest.” He gripped me by both of my arms and forced me to face him. His eyes were searching when they found mine. “No one will ever harm you again,” he crooned. “No man will ever touch you against your will. Not while I am here.”
“No, Sinjin,” I said, wanting to tell him he didn’t understand.
“You are safe with me; do you not believe that?”
I nodded but quickly shook my head as I relived the scenes from my nightmare. If it were true, no one was safe.
“Was there a fight between you and Luce?” I inquired as I stared up at him. My heart was pounding against my ribs while I waited for his response.
“Yes.”
“What happened, Sinjin? I need to know what happened.”
“It is not something for you to worry about, pet.” He glanced down and I instantly realized he was hiding something. Sinjin was, by definition, confident. But the man standing in front of me now seemed hesitant and nervous.
“What happened with Luce, Sinjin?” I insisted.
Sinjin brought his eyes back to mine and, without any warning, pulled me closer to him. I was startled but didn’t react. I allowed him to touch me, and stare down at me until only two inches of air separated us. I felt a trembling inside me that was making it hard to breathe again. But I held his gaze and, for a moment, we stood in the forest completely silent, just staring into each other’s eyes, neither of us speaking.
Sinjin broke the silence when he leaned closer to my ear, brushing his soft lips across the skin of my cheek as he whispered, “What does this have to do with your nightmare?”
“It has everything to do with it,” I answered.
He narrowed his eyes at me and released my arms, crossing his over his chest. “And I was in the dream?”
“You and Luce … along with … others.” I wanted to blurt it all out, but I was trying to ease into the graphic nature of what I saw while I slept. Even though it was silly, since Sinjin didn’t need to be protected from anything. After all, he was the darkness itself.
“And?” he asked.
“You tore off Luce’s arm, Sinjin. And he came after you for revenge,” I said as I watched him closely and carefully, waiting to see how he would respond.
Sinjin stepped away from me. His face was a blank canvas that was impossible to read. But in that vacancy, I saw the truth.
“It’s true?” I asked, sounding shell-shocked. He didn’t say anything, but his silence was answer enough. If Sinjin really had ripped Luce’s arm clean off, that meant the dream wasn’t a dream at all!
“Oh my God,” I whispered as the realization dawned on me. “It was true,” I continued. “All of it was … true.”
“What was true?” he demanded.
I couldn’t face him as my emotions suddenly flooded me. “All of it. The attack on the kingdom and all those deaths! It wasn’t a nightmare at all! It was a premonition …” I started to shake my head as I covered my hand with my mouth. “No,” I whispered. “Please tell me it didn’t happen,” I said as I glanced up at him. His face was still as veiled and masked as before. “Tell me you didn’t initiate the flood of death and destruction that lies in our future.” I felt my hands fisting at my sides. “Tell me you di
dn’t do it.”
“I did what I had to.”
I pushed him, slamming my open palms into his chest and shoving hard, but he went nowhere. He was like pushing a brick wall. He didn’t move. My heart ached. “You’ve killed everyone in this kingdom including yourself,” I said as my voice broke and hot tears filled my eyes. “Everyone is going to die because of you!”
“No one is going to die.” He grabbed both my shoulders and pulled me into his chest. I didn’t struggle. I was done with that. I just wanted to protect everyone, but I had no way of knowing how.
Sinjin’s body felt strong and sure. He held me tightly, his hand running down the length of my golden brown hair. I pushed back because I needed more air … I had to think and remember every part of my vision. And then I needed time to devise a plan. We needed a plan. We had to defend ourselves, but I didn’t even know where to start.
“Luce will attack Kinloch Kirk,” I said as I glanced up at him. “He’ll kill my sister, Rand, and the princess.” Sinjin’s eyes narrowed as I focused on him. “And although he’ll save you for last, he will kill you,” I told him.
He grabbed my upper arms again and brought me to him. This time, he was fierce and aggressive. “You have my word that I will never allow anything to happen to the queen, or the princess.” His eyes narrowed on mine. “And I will protect you with my own life.”
“There’s nothing you will be able to do,” I argued, because I already knew the truth.
SEVEN
Sinjin
As far as the Lady Bryn’s nightmare was concerned, which she insisted was a vision, I did not know what to think. Granted, I found it interesting and possibly coincidental that she should know of Luce’s lost appendage before I ever divulged the information, but that did not mean I was convinced that her dream was a forewarning of what was still to come.
In my lifetime of centuries, I came to know many witches and warlocks who shared the gift of possessing extracurricular knowledge about things they could not otherwise know. People refer to it as clairvoyance, metaphysical understanding, psychic communication … but there is a definite difference between knowing something as a fact and assuming one’s nightmare could possibly foretell a known truth.
The Gentleman: A Vampire Romance Series (The Bryn and Sinjin Series Book 4) Page 14
