Mary tugged a tiny stocking cap over A.J.’s head and swaddled him in a receiving blanket dotted with green, yellow and purple swirls and squiggles. Kate flexed her fingers, anticipating how soft his skin would feel, yearning to breathe in that first scent of baby. “Is he okay?”
“Absolutely. Excellent Apgar scores. You did a great job, Kate.” Mary answered, though her attention was still on the baby. Biggest cliché in the world, but Kate longed to count his fingers and toes.
Her hand came off the bed as Mary picked up the baby and started forward. But she stopped beside Rio, gave him a few instructions about supporting an infant’s head then placed the baby in the crook of his arm.
Her arms aching and empty, Kate closed her eyes and turned her head away. Mary had tried to warn her with the job comment, but she hadn’t wanted to hear it. Even when abandoned by her own mother, she’d never felt so utterly alone.
* * * * *
The sun was streaking the sky when Rio rose from the waiting room sofa to check on Kate for the third time. The vinyl-covered contraption might work as seating, but it sucked as a bed.
As he approached the nurse’s station, there was a slight flurry of activity, the rustle of a newspaper hastily tucked away and guilty looks on two faces before the male busied himself at a computer. “Would you tell Kate Morrissey that Rio Hawthorne would like to see her, please? And that it’s important.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Hawthorne,” the pretty brunette with an exaggerated pear shape answered. “Like I told you before, she’s resting and asked not to be disturbed.”
This was frustrating as hell. If he knew which room was hers and in which hallway, he would simply go there and wait until she woke up or felt like talking. He’d only gotten an hour of sleep after calling his mom to tell her A.J. had arrived. In return, he’d gotten an irritating report and had been forced to make a decision Kate wasn’t going to care for. His patience was growing thin in a hurry. “And your name is ...”
“Shawna.”
“Did she specifically say she didn’t want to see me, Shawna?”
She shook her head. “No, sir. Not specifically.”
“Then would you please tell her I’d like to see her, and I’m not going away.” He could understand Kate needing to distance herself from A.J., but him? This concerned her too. He deliberately looked at the spot where the newspaper had disappeared. “She shouldn’t have to hear this from someone else.”
Her gaze fell away from his. “Hey, Tim, I’ll be right back.”
Tim barely lifted his chin.
In a couple minutes, Shawna returned. “Room 503, on the left.”
“Thanks.” Rio headed in the direction she’d indicated before she could take it back or tack on conditions. Several doors stood open and Rio could see a variety of male and female patients of varying ages. No maternity floor. Dr. Krieger had seen to it that Kate was away from the mothers being brought their babies for feedings.
He pushed open the door to 503 and almost apologized for intruding until he realized the sad-faced woman lying on her side staring at the wall was Kate. He approached the bed. “Hey. How are you doing?”
“Tired. Go away.”
“Yeah. I figured. I won’t stay long, but there’s something you should know.”
She shrugged one shoulder, then her eyes widened and her gaze shot to his face. “Is it the baby?”
“No. He’s fine. Sorry. I’m a little punchy. I should’ve led with that.” Was he supposed to have checked on the baby again? Rio assumed the little guy would sleep for awhile. Getting born was quite the ordeal.
A mask of indifference replaced her concern. “Look, I really need to rest. No sleep and a night of labor is an exhausting combination.”
“You did great, Kate. Really great. I didn’t think I wanted to be there for the delivery, but it was ...” He shook his head and cleared a clog in his throat, unable to find the words.
There was an awkwardness between them now. They’d kissed and more. Since then, he’d held her hand, bathed her face and supported her during labor. The situation had catapulted them into a kind of intimacy usually experienced by those who’d planned a life together.
Not seeing any clear path, Rio squared his shoulders and set those thoughts aside. “Anyway, we’ve got a situation.”
“What kind of situation?” Annoyance colored the question.
“There’s a story in the paper this morning with the picture from last night. The press is back in full force. Worse than before.” Rio intended to keep a copy of the picture to show A.J. someday, if the little guy ever got curious about who’d given him life. Not the one with Kate looking at him as if he were some kind of savior, that one he’d keep for other reasons, but the one of her leaning her forehead on his chest, her face scrunched with sudden pain. A kid with no real parents might need proof someone cared enough to suffer while giving him life.
“It has nothing to do with me now. I’ve done my part. My contracted duties are complete.”
“True, but that doesn’t mean that the photographers and reporters have forgotten about you. This time they’re saying we’re a couple. You and me.”
Kate blinked, but her eyes remained dull and uninterested. “They’ve been circling that from day one. They’ll be proven wrong when we go our separate ways. I wouldn’t worry about it.”
“Maybe so, if that’s all there was to it, but ...”
She closed her eyes and sighed. “What, no pop stars sans panties this week, no presidential party crashers, so we’re it? Let me guess. Now I’m an alien from Mars and A.J. a mutant child with superpowers.”
Man, he hated this part. Why had Hank crawled out from whatever rock he’d been under all these years? “My biological father is behind this. In the article he says a man knows his son, and I’ve got the look of love.” Rio couldn’t quite keep the disgust out of his voice. “The article also says Hank and I have a relationship, that he has more pictures of us together, and Celebrities magazine will run those along with the insiders view from Hank.”
“I’ve never met your father. When did he take pictures of us?”
“Biological father. He’s nothing but a bad memory to me. I haven’t seen him since I was in fifth grade, so my guess is he didn’t come by them without greasing someone’s palm to take them. And if that happened, he stands to gain a lot more than he paid out. Hank never does anything unless there’s something in it for him.”
Her gaze remained steady on his face with a gleam of interest. “I get that you’re angry, but if you had nothing to do with it, why do you look so guilty?”
“As much as it pains me, he and I share genes. I could live the rest of my life without anyone else knowing that and wondering if I’m like my old man. Now the whole world will know. Guilt by association.”
“If it bothers you that much, do the press conference you talked about. Remind them you were raised by a man who was well respected and loved. We’re shaped by more than our DNA, Rio.”
“You really believe that?” He stuffed his hands in his pockets and drew his shoulders in.
“I know it. I could never, not even in a million years be like my mother.” Her voice was stronger now.
“I get that we have choices, but it’s not as simple as that. Didn’t you just push your brothers away. And now with —”
“Don’t you dare go there. It’s not the same with your nephew and you know it.”
She’d been right to shut him down. Why he’d gone there, he didn’t know, except he craved some indication that she found it difficult to leave him behind. After all, they’d developed a rapport, a friendship of sorts. And exchanged some really hot — as in sexually scorching — activity. “Yeah, okay. It was a stretch, but in my case, there’s some pretty nasty DNA at play. For A.J.’s sake, I can’t dismiss the possibility I’m like him. A.J.’s my responsibility now. I have to do right by him.”
Feeling the tiny, fragile body in his big hands earlier had reinforced in a big way
how careful he’d have to be to protect Bear Hawthorne’s namesake and only grandchild. But what really threw him was the lack of any overwhelming feelings after the first contact with a child he would raise. Shouldn’t he have felt something besides protectiveness? Wasn’t that proof he had some of Hank in him? Little had he known then that protecting an innocent would involve admitting his connection to a man who didn’t deserve the title of father. That was messed up.
“Rio, I appreciate the head’s up on the press, but I think this should be goodbye. I’ll get Zach to pick me up and beg hospital personnel to let me sneak out a back door.”
“And how will you evade them at your place? This could go on for weeks.”
“I don’t see as I have a choice. When they don’t get a story —”
“They’ll make one up. Look, I have to keep the Foxe twins with me for A.J.’s sake, so I called the agency about adding more security this morning. Todd Bridgerton doesn’t have anyone else he can spare for at least another three weeks.”
“It’s not your problem. The contract terms have been satisfied.”
“Will you stop with that contract stuff? Allie and James didn’t go strictly by the book on this thing, or they never would have bought you a safer car or befriended you and invited you into their home. Hell, we threw the book out the window when we —” The hurt on her face shut him down, evaporated his ire. “I talked to Mom earlier. She agrees we should all hide out together until this blows over. It’s for your safety too.”
“Go into seclusion with you and the baby? No. Absolutely not.” She white-knuckled the bed covers.
“Hear me out. We all need to drop out of sight for awhile. If we do it separately there are security issues. They’ll cry break-up and hound us individually for statements anyway. If we stick together, the Foxe twins can make sure we’re all protected.”
“That’ll just feed the rumor that we’re a couple.”
“So what? It’s better than having microphones shoved in our faces for weeks. We’ll go to my condo in Winter Park. It’s secluded and private and has a workout room. You could do whatever activity Krieger approves. In a few weeks, I’m sure some scandal will have replaced any interest in us.”
Kate was fully engaged now. No more of that dead look he’d seen in her eyes. “Do you not get it? I carried that child inside me for nearly nine months. My body nourished him and made it possible for him to grow. A.J. may not carry my genes, but I do feel a connection to him. I have to cut ties with him for my own good and for his.”
He’d expected this. His mom had sputtered identical reservations with the same incredulous tone before admitting it made sense from a safety standpoint. He couldn’t let his sympathy for Kate carry more weight than his obligation to A.J., so Rio ruthlessly squelched the cautions in his head as fast as they appeared. Desperate situations drove men to do crazy things. “Despite my best efforts, I’ve got nothing but a book to help me learn how to care for an infant. I need your help, and I’m willing to double your bonus to get it.”
“Get out.”
He almost turned to go but remembered the voice of the woman he’d arranged an interview with. How likely was it that an elderly woman would pack up and head high into the Rockies with him and an infant at this time of year? “Listen to me, Kate. That kind of money means you wouldn’t have to work for awhile. If you’re careful, maybe not at all while you’re in school. You’d have more time to study and enjoy college life or carry a heavier class load and finish early. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“Stop. I can’t do what you’re asking.” She shook her head for emphasis.
“And I don’t want to do something stupid and hurt him, even if it’s unintentional. What if I promise to minimize your exposure to the baby?” How that would even be possible, Rio wasn’t sure. But he thought he saw a flicker of uncertainty on Kate’s face and pressed harder. “Please.”
* * * * *
More than anything else, it was the memory of Rio’s ashen face headed toward the floor that had Kate wondering if she could do what he proposed and come through it relatively unscathed. The man standing beside her hospital bed right now, the same man who’d been in close proximity to lions, hyenas, wildebeests and who knew how many poisonous snakes was afraid of his tiny nephew. That much was evident in the way his throat bobbed every time the subject arose and a tiny furrow appeared between his brows. Like now.
Another factor making her consider his crazy scheme was his insinuation that he found her actions reflective of her mother’s. That stung. Though she’d vehemently denied it, a tiny grain of doubt burrowed into her soul and began to fester. She couldn’t stand the thought of being like that. “I’ll help you, but only if you agree to my conditions.”
Had she said that aloud? The strain of childbirth must have addled her brain.
Rio didn’t even blink. “Name it.”
Oh, boy. He was good, catching her at a low point and shoving the educational equivalent of her favorite chocolate truffles within reach. She couldn’t even fault his motives. “You have to allow me to protect myself and help me keep my distance. My role is to instruct and observe and offer advice. Period. The more you do, the faster you’ll learn, so all baby care is your responsibility. Just so you know, that includes diapering, bathing and feeding. I won’t have any physical contact with the baby and close proximity with him is kept to a minimum.”
“Agreed.”
Wow. He really was desperate if he’d agreed to do all the care with only her supervision. Then again, it was likely he had no idea what he’d taken on. “At least we have a little time to prepare ourselves. Get all the instruction you can from the nursery staff while we’re here.”
“That won’t amount to much. I’ve got a press conference to give, and I understand they’re releasing you tomorrow morning. I’ve asked A.J.’s doctor to release him at the same time, if he continues to check out okay. That way we can elude the press all around, if we plan right and are lucky.”
Now it was her turn with the throat-bobbing gulp. Panic spurred her to tack on an addendum. “You should know that the minute I think you can handle things on your own, I’m gone. Regardless, I’ll be leaving soon so I can get settled in before the new semester starts.”
“Understood.” Rio’s bland expression gave nothing away. He nodded and gestured toward the door. “I have arrangements to make.”
* * * * *
Kate took a few moments to even out her emotions after Rio left. She tried convincing herself that it was solely the situation she’d agreed to that caused her anxiety, but Rio’s face kept taunting her over and above that concern. His face, resolute with guilt, embarrassment making him look elsewhere while telling of his father’s scheme.
She knew both those emotions, had experienced them because of her mother. How many times had she wished for a more maternal, less self-centered, caring version of her mother to return and rescue them from social services hell? She’d exchanged an overburdened school backpack for dire warnings from officials to tow the line. There hadn’t been a day, after Kate had been awarded custody, that the weight of all their welfare and safety hadn’t hung heavy on her young shoulders.
Wishing didn’t change her reality. If she hadn’t already survived that harrowing part of her life, she’d never have agreed to Rio’s plea for help. His face haunting her was due to her own experiences and empathy. That was all. She couldn’t allow herself to care in any other way.
She reached for her cell to call Dean but her door opened again, and in ambled Zach.
Her lips parted in surprise. “Zach. What are you doing here?”
His gaze glanced off her still pudgy belly to the remnants of a recent meal still on her bedside table, then around the room. One shoulder hitched. “Figured it was boring laying around waiting to be sprung. Thought I’d check on you.”
“Aww. You care.” She deliberately teased him and got the eye roll she’d expected. All totally normal for them, yet there was tens
ion in the room. She chewed her bottom lip.
He crammed his hands in the back pockets of his skinny jeans and exhaled.
She gripped the bedcovers. “What is it, Zach? Has something happened?”
“I owe you an apology, Kate. I don’t know why I compared you to mom. That was low. If you were like her, Dean and I would’ve been separated and in foster care years ago.”
Kate released her hold and smoothed the sheet where it turned back over the blanket. “Apology accepted. I hate that we’ve been at odds, Zach. Can we call a truce?”
“Thought we just did that.” He strolled over to the window, parted the curtains with one finger and shook his head. “I expected the excitement would be over now, but the vultures are still circling. What gives?”
“I was about to phone you and Dean about that. There’s a situation, so I won’t be going home just yet.” She reiterated the circumstances, as explained by Rio. Her own misgivings, she kept to herself.
“Huh. I guess I hadn’t thought much about folks with money having parental issues. Kinda makes me feel solidarity for the guy, you know?” He’d perched on the end of her bed during her explanation, half sitting with one knee bent across the bed, one foot on the floor. “Are you sure about this, Kate? I get the empathy, but you don’t owe this family anything else. You’ve done the job you hired on for.”
She was grateful that Zach saw the situation as she did. A job. “I know. This is sort of a … separate contract. I’ve protected myself the best I can.”
“You sure it’s not about more than the cash cushion? The two of you seem to have a lot in common.”
“Seriously? Now you sound like the reporters. This whole surrogacy idea was so I’d have money for college. This will mean more financial security.” Her indignation sounded genuine, even if her heart called her a liar.
“Just sayin.’ You two don’t look at each other like you’re in a business arrangement.”
“You’re imagining things.” She pushed aside the stirring memory of Rio’s touch and raised a determined chin. “I’m going to college, no matter what.”
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