Casey reached for her hand. The touch was gentle, reassuring, and probably platonic. But Olivia felt the pull of her attraction, her body craving more contact than Casey was offering.
“Turns out there’s nothing you can do. I mean, you can spend a lot on injunctions to keep a video like that off the main sharing sites, but people think it’s fun to send it to friends, and then the people they know share it and killing it becomes impossible. Like trying to catch the wind.”
“That’s awful.”
“We’d been together for six months. Six months.” Olivia took a breath. “Everyone told me to just ignore it, that people would soon forget about it, but I couldn’t. I had absolutely no cool about it. I tried to have her arrested. It wasn’t just that it was us having sex. It was that it was filmed without my consent, released without my consent. It violated my privacy, and as far as I was concerned, it was an assault—and a complete betrayal by someone I trusted. I felt so vengeful, so full of hate. Not my finest hour.”
“I think most people would have felt like that.” Casey cast her eyes down as she spoke and Olivia sensed, from her body language, that she seemed uncomfortable, but she needed to say it, to make sure—however bad it was—that she heard it from her.
“It turned out I was what they call an unsympathetic complainant.” She wrapped the words in speech marks with her fingers. “The police came to the conclusion that someone who stripped naked and had sex with women on television as a job probably wasn’t in a strong position to argue that their privacy had been violated by a sex tape.” She measured out the words, feeling the weight of the awful memories press heavily on her chest.
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah.”
Of all the things people had said to her, that had been the worst. Even in her darkest moment, people couldn’t tell the difference between the pretending that Susie did and Olivia’s actual life.
“She claimed the recording was consensual of course, and because of my ‘lifestyle,’ everyone said I wouldn’t get any sympathy in court, so I was persuaded to drop it.” Olivia couldn’t stop her voice from breaking.
“Olivia, that’s horrible. I’m so sorry.”
“And exploiting me in that way, got her exactly the break she’d been wanting. Instead of a criminal record, she got a new career as a journalist for some shitty entertainment website. And I got bruised to the point of never trusting anyone’s intentions—no matter how sweet and sincere they seem.”
“Not everyone is—”
“What?”
“Nothing. I was going to give you some platitude about how not everyone is like that, but it’s stupid. It doesn’t take ‘everyone’ to do damage, just one person.” Casey looked right at her. “But you can trust me. I hope you know that.”
Olivia’s mind had drifted into the past, but her body brought her back to the here and now. Casey still had hold of her hand and was grazing a thumb across the back of it. Their knees were touching. Olivia felt the effect of it low down in her belly. They were talking about things—sad, hurtful things. Things she had to accept she would never fully escape from. But in this bar, in the present, Casey was sitting beside her, looking like a cool drink on a hot and thirsty day, and the feel of Casey’s hand on hers, of their bodies touching, was exactly what she needed. She did trust Casey and she liked her—a lot. And in that moment, she wanted her more than she’d ever wanted anyone.
She sipped at her drink—the sweet, smoky heat of it in her throat feeling wonderful.
“I loved that you had no idea who I was, no idea who Susie was. You just got to know me—plain old Olivia. And when you smiled at me, or laughed at my joke, I knew it was Olivia who was responsible. And when I annoyed you—and I know I did,” she was gratified to see Casey smile, “I annoyed you because I was being Olivia. Maybe that’s why I like spending time with you. I mean, apart from the fact that you’re gorgeous and funny and have an accent that makes me go weak at the knees.”
Casey’s eyes widened in surprise. Olivia felt no embarrassment though. The drink was helping her to say it, but it was also the truth.
Casey leaned in. “I’ve had a few drinks. I’m not sure I’m going to be able to brush off you giving me compliments like that in the way I might when I’m sober.”
Olivia felt Casey’s breath against her cheek. She shivered before letting her hand drop to Casey’s thigh, leaving it there for a moment before spreading her fingers possessively. Casey didn’t move, but she swallowed, and the eyes looking back at Olivia had darkened. It was exactly the effect that Olivia had been hoping for.
“What would you do if you didn’t know me and you came back from your dinner and saw me in the bar?” Olivia could feel the giddy intensity of the alcohol, letting her—making her—say what was on her mind, what she needed to say. It didn’t seem to matter whether or not it was the right thing to say. She needed something from Casey, even if she didn’t know exactly what it was.
“I’d offer to buy you a drink, I’d bore you about the kind of whiskey you should be drinking and then I’d pay you a lavish compliment or two, because…well, because you look amazing tonight. And I might try to slide onto this very stool and hope you’d let me spend some time getting to know you.”
Hearing Casey speak to her that way was entrancing.
“Do it then. Pay me the compliment, buy me the drink. Act like you don’t know me, but really want to.” Even to her own ears, Olivia’s voice sounded a little husky. It was part alcohol and part arousal. She felt so turned on by the idea of Casey coming on to her in a bar. The arousal shouldn’t have been a surprise—Casey was attractive and charming—but they hadn’t known each other for long, and Olivia wasn’t someone who usually found this kind of thing easy.
“What’s a beautiful woman like you doing sitting here drinking all alone?” Casey frowned before leaning in again, her mouth close to Olivia’s ear. “I’m sorry. I should do better than that, but I’ve been drinking, and being this close to you is making me tongue-tied.” The words—and Casey’s hot breath—made Olivia feel weak with desire. She made herself concentrate. This was a game she wanted to play.
“I guess I’m partly drinking to forget.” Olivia leaned closer. “And I’m partly drinking to make things seem more interesting.” She brushed her lips across Casey’s ear as she spoke. “And things just got a lot more interesting.”
Olivia softly pressed down with the hand resting on Casey’s thigh, feeling the hardness of the muscle through the fabric of her jeans and feeling overwhelmed by how much she wanted Casey.
Casey didn’t move. She kept her attention focused on Olivia’s face. Her eyes occasionally dropping to Olivia’s lips. And when she didn’t stop Olivia’s hand from moving along her thigh, closer to her center, Olivia grew even bolder.
“Let’s go upstairs.” Olivia took Casey’s hand and stood, weaving a little unsteadily on her feet. Casey snaked an arm around her waist to steady her in much the same way she had done days before at the elevator—except this time, aware of Casey’s strength, feeling Casey’s arm holding her tightly, there was no feeling of gratitude. Instead, every nerve in Olivia’s body was vibrating with desire.
“Can you send two more of those up to my room please?” Olivia addressed the bartender, knowing she sounded a little slurry, but not caring. She waited for him to nod in her direction before turning and pulling Casey with her toward the elevator.
* * *
“We shouldn’t do this.” Casey was standing in the open doorway, her arms braced against the doorframe as Olivia—her arms threaded around her waist—tried to pull her into the room. Casey held firm, knowing that if she gave in, there would be no way she would be able to resist Olivia in the presence of a bed when she so obviously wanted exactly what Casey wanted—what Casey had to admit she wanted since the moment she first set eyes on her.
When Casey refused to budg
e, not allowing Olivia to pull her inside, Olivia leaned in, her eyes giving away what she was craving, as much as the hands that were now under Casey’s shirt, the nails raking across her back. Olivia finally touched her lips to Casey’s. They were warm and soft, but the kiss was hard and hot, and Casey felt the power of it in the heat, in the throb, between her legs. She couldn’t stop herself from responding. She reached her hand into the hair at the nape of her neck and crushed her mouth against Olivia’s. And when Olivia parted her lips, she deepened the kiss, dipping her tongue into Olivia’s mouth. The warm wet softness of Olivia’s tongue mixing with the taste of the bourbon caused the throbbing between her legs to grow stronger.
Casey pulled Olivia closer, wanting to feel her body, her breasts, pressed against her own. She bit down softly on Olivia’s lower lip and was rewarded with a low moan and an even more demanding kiss. Olivia’s hands were on her behind, pressing their bodies together at the waist, and Casey kissed Olivia again and again. Her tongue teasing Olivia, their kisses hard and wanting.
Not quite senseless, Casey heard a door open and close. She still hadn’t crossed the threshold into Olivia’s room, and she realized how reckless they were being, how visible they were to anyone using the corridor, or coming out of their room. She’d agreed to come upstairs with Olivia because she didn’t want her to run into trouble or get photographed downstairs while she was drunk. But it would be much worse if someone caught them doing this.
The easiest thing would be to let Olivia pull her into the room, to lay Olivia down on the big bed and do everything they clearly both wanted. Instead, she heard herself speaking.
“Olivia, we can’t do this.” She pulled away from Olivia, taking a step back into the corridor.
“We can. You want to. I can see it in your eyes.” Olivia stepped into the corridor to kiss Casey again. “I can feel it in your kisses.” She ran a hand down Casey’s abdomen, stopping halfway down the zip of her jeans. “I can feel it in your muscles.”
Casey couldn’t stop herself from tensing under her touch, proving Olivia right.
“It’s not about how much I want to—that’s not what matters.” Casey moved Olivia’s hand. “I’m still someone who works for you. And in the morning, sober and annoyed with yourself for getting drunk enough to fuck your driver, you’re not going to want me around to remind you. And I need this job. You know how much I need this job.”
Olivia stepped backward into the room. Casey could see the hurt on her face, see the slump of her shoulders. They looked at each other for a beat. Casey wanted to reassure Olivia somehow, but she didn’t know what else to say, how to make the truth of their situation any different.
“I’m sorry, I’m just saying what we both need to hear.” She was omitting the part about the feelings she had already caught for Olivia and how she didn’t want to cheapen those feelings by letting herself do what she absolutely most definitely wanted to do to Olivia right then.
“It matters.” Olivia spoke softly.
“What matters?”
“It matters that you want to. That you’re only saying no because of the job and not because of me. Assuming that’s the truth.” Olivia backed farther into the room, putting more distance between them. Casey wanted to move forward and give her a hug. But hugging her would not be where things would stop.
She stepped into the doorway, forcing herself to relax, trying to chase away the arousal she was still feeling. She put her hands in her pockets, hoping it would stop her from reaching for Olivia, willing herself not to follow her into the room, as badly as she wanted to.
“I’m saying no because of the job. I’m also saying no because you’re drunk and I don’t take advantage of women who are drunk, no matter how attractive they are, how much I like them, and, yes, how much I might want to.” She sighed and ran a hand down her stomach, realizing that her shirt had become untucked from her trousers. A flash of sense memory of Olivia pulling at the fabric and scratching her nails across Casey’s bare back made her swallow. “And for what it’s worth, I really, really want to. But I also want to be able to look you in the eye in the morning, and I don’t want to get fired and I—”
“I wouldn’t have you fired. Can you please stop saying that?” Olivia’s eyes flashed with annoyance. Even annoyed, she was glorious.
“Okay, okay. I was just going to say that I want you hydrated and not too hungover to slay them at your TV thing in the morning.”
Casey was trying to get them back to where they should be. She was trying to minimize the damage. Maybe in the morning, Olivia would view this as a missed opportunity—or even a bullet dodged—but for her, because of her feelings, this was so much more. And if she wasn’t careful, she was going to get herself hurt.
“I’m trying to seduce you, and all you wanna do is hydrate me. Great.” Olivia sat on the edge of the bed with a sigh. “Maybe Kristin was right and I do need to learn a thing or two from Susie. I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t be saying no to her.” She sounded petulant, but underneath Casey could hear the upset.
“Your ex is even more of a jerk than I figured if she thinks for a second that Susie has anything to teach you.”
Olivia gave her a small, shy smile, followed by a huge yawn. She looked down at her shoes. She reached down to unstrap them, but her fingers fumbled with the tiny buckles.
Casey looked around the room as if assessing the danger to the both of them if she crossed the threshold. “Let me.” She went inside, crouched down at Olivia’s feet, and began to unbuckle her shoes. She’d had a lot to drink and the arousal was still thrumming through her body. Casey was showing a lot of trust in herself to be this close to Olivia and to resist kissing those lips. The lips that she now knew tasted as good as they looked.
“You don’t even know Susie. How can you say that? Maybe if I was Susie…” Olivia’s voice trailed off. Casey looked up at her. “I mean, if I had Susie’s moves, I’d know how to make it impossible for you to say no. But,” she sighed, “I’m clearly not Susie.”
She sounded so defeated, so sad, that Casey couldn’t stop herself from responding.
“Olivia.” She looked up at her. “If you were Susie, I wouldn’t even be here. I wouldn’t have taken you to the Shard today. I wouldn’t have been so happy to see you sitting there when I got back to the hotel, and I wouldn’t be sitting here helping you take off your shoes while thinking about how cool and smart and sexy you are. And…” She waited for Olivia to properly meet her gaze. “If you were Susie, I wouldn’t be contemplating pushing you back onto that bed to taste those damn lips of yours one more time, leaving myself unemployed and my mom homeless.” She was taking a risk being so honest, but Olivia needed to hear it right then.
Olivia covered her face with her hands and moaned—and the sound of it, low in her throat, made Casey aroused all over again. She placed Olivia’s shoes next to the bed side by side and got up, needing to be a little farther away. “I don’t know Susie, but I know you. And I can’t believe she’s anywhere near as amazing as you are, Olivia.”
She recognized her own voice but couldn’t quite believe she was the one saying all of this to Olivia. What happened to that buttoned up English reserve she’d relied on to protect her heart for so long? She turned and walked to the door.
“Now, make sure you order up some water and coffee. We both have an early start tomorrow. And I don’t suppose it’s any consolation, but because of you—Olivia Lang—I’m going back to my room now for a very long, very cold, shower.” Casey left the room, letting the door close behind her, not trusting herself to keep resisting Olivia.
“Fuck.” She let the curse out softly as she leaned with her back to the corridor wall.
Falling for Olivia was ridiculous—and a total fucking cliché. She was the driver—the hired help—and even if she wasn’t, Casey didn’t feel ready for anything like this. Letting herself get used by an actress who was lookin
g for comfort and reassurance about her sex appeal was the last thing her own self-esteem needed right now.
Gina would tell her to stop looking for love, to stop being so cautious and go back and simply enjoy what was on offer. To let herself have the pleasure of undressing Olivia, of putting her mouth on the soft skin and feeling that gorgeous body beneath her, without worrying about what tomorrow might bring. But that was Gina, not Casey. Casey had always loved with her heart first.
She pushed herself off the wall. A cold shower. She’d called it right. It was exactly what she needed.
Chapter Fifteen
Olivia lay sprawled on Liam’s bed, scrolling through her phone. She was in a bad mood—capital B, capital M. It wasn’t just the throbbing headache that the Tylenol hadn’t shifted. It wasn’t even the regret and embarrassment she felt about letting her feelings—and the alcohol—get the better of her and coming on to Casey like a bimbo in heat. Her mood was off because she’d wanted to see Casey this morning to apologize and to make sure everything was okay between them. But Casey had already gone, driving Billie and Louise to their morning appointments, instead of Olivia and Liam as had been the plan.
The change of schedule seemed deliberate. Olivia wasn’t surprised. She had told Casey everything—every grubby detail of what had happened with Kristin—and then tried to drag her into bed. Shame coursed through her body, chased close behind by waves of nausea. Her hangover wasn’t being gentle.
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