Judging by the rough growl of his voice, I suspected very agitated.
As another one of those little whines rose in my throat, I swallowed it down.
Go, me.
I managed to stop whimpering.
“Kit?”
He eased back enough to look down at me and I found myself staring into glowing, shifting eyes. Yeah. I’d say he was in an agitated state.
“I…I think I’m okay,” I whispered, jerking my eyes away. Fear danced on the back of my tongue, but I was going to deal with that, too. I didn’t know what happened. Needed to understand that before I had another break with reality.
Es was still in the room. So was Kori. At some point, Jo, Tate and the other one had left. My hair was drying and my skin felt tight and itchy. How much time had passed?
Licking my lips, I darted a look at the mother. The calm look on her face should have been reassuring, but in that moment, nothing could reassure me. The bones in my legs felt like they had dissolved, but I needed to move. I eased away from Damon and some part of my brain told me he wasn’t going to let me.
He’s going to kill me—
I twitched under the memory. It didn’t feel right. Even now. But the terror. Shit, that terror.
His arms fell away and when I had a hard time standing, he eased me upright and his hands didn’t move until I was steady. Shame crawled up my throat, a nasty, awful thing that just wouldn’t go away. Scratching at my arm, I looked at Es, at Kori, glanced at him from the corner of my eye. “What happened?”
Es and Kori shared a look, but then they looked at Damon.
I followed their glance, because it seemed if I wanted answers, he was the one who had them.
“You were under the water,” he said flatly. He had moved to stand over the fireplace, staring down into it. The dancing flames cast him into light and shadow as he stood there, eerily reflecting off eyes that had yet to return to normal. Lids drooped low, shielding his gaze from me. He rolled his neck, his shoulders—it was like he had too much energy trapped inside him and I realized something. All of that power he normally had dancing above him, he had it locked down. I couldn’t see any of it.
I flexed my wrist, absently.
He looked at me. “Your sword is on the bed. You were thrashing around and it was…”
Instead of finishing, he just shrugged.
I nodded. “The water. What happened? You said…”
“I walked in.” He turned away from me. “Es was getting Doyle settled down. Said he might do better with no outside stimulation and she had a room where she sometimes puts…damaged people. She could keep him safe there. Unchained, unrestrained, and safe. He wouldn’t hurt anybody else, and he wouldn’t have to be chained up either. The way he was going…fuck. Anyway, once we had him in there, I came up here. It’s night. I worried. The leech…”
Jude—
Immediately, my brain screeched to a blank stop and my heart started to race. Panic, thick and hot, churned inside me. I could hear Es, but only vaguely. The heat in my palm was too much and then she was there. My blade. Damn it, I could fight this time.
Fight what—somebody who is trying to sneak into your mind?
“Kit, damn it, calm down!”
I swung out and felt the blade connect. Somebody—a woman—shouted. Something hot glanced off my hip.
A thunderous snarl echoed through the room.
None of it mattered.
Had to fight.
Had to get away—
“Kit…”
I struck out again. Blood. I smelled blood.
“Kit.”
Hands caught my face.
Wet hands.
The smell of blood—thick with magic, alive with it—flooded my senses and somehow snapped me back to myself.
Dazed, I struggled to think past the panic.
“Damon, you need to let me calm her down.”
“Es, the next one of you to try and throw magic at her is going to be digging my claws out of their gut, you understand me?”
Damon. Damon’s voice.
I blinked and blinked, struggling to focus my eyes. Red. That was all I could see. A wash of it—
“Kit.” Something under that red moved…
Oh, hell.
It wasn’t red.
It was blood.
His neck. His chest. Healing, slowly, but covered in blood…because I had sliced into him.
“Damon?”
A harsh groan escaped him and then his lips touched my brow. “Yeah. It’s me, baby girl. You’re okay. You hear me? You’re okay. Nothing hurts you when I’m here, got it?”
A hysterical laugh bubbled up out of me. Okay? I’d just damn near lost my mind and torn into somebody who could kill me as easily I could breathe. And he’s telling me that I’m okay?
No. I really, really wasn’t.
Damon kicked Kori out.
She went, bleeding and grudgingly. I didn’t know what had happened and just then, I didn’t care.
The mother wouldn’t leave. She brought me a cup of tea. “Drink it. Please. It’s just a special mix of mine—no magic—” She gave Damon a narrow look. “But it will calm your nerves.”
I didn’t think that was possible. I could smell chamomile, strawberry leaves and other familiar things in it, plus other herbs that I couldn’t identify, but nothing would calm me down tonight. To make her quit hovering, though, I took a sip. “Somebody needs to explain what happened,” I said after I tried the tea.
“As your cat said…he found you in the water.”
I swallowed and looked at Damon. He was holding me in his lap. His blood was drying on him, on me, but just then, there was nothing either of us could do about it. I had to know what was going on before I went insane. “Did I…?” I licked my lips. “I fell asleep. I remember being tired. I must have fallen asleep.”
Damon stroked a hand up my back. “I came in. You were under the water. Your eyes were open. I tried to pull you up and you fought me, Kit. You didn’t let me pull you up and you felt a hell of a lot stronger than I think you are.”
Shuddering, I shook my head.
He rubbed the back of my neck, staring at the wall in front of us. “I yelled for Es—I…” He paused, clenched his jaw. “She was in here almost right away and I was still trying to pull you out of the water. She hit the drain and said something…”
“I could feel an unnatural pull on your mind,” Es said quietly.
Damon shrugged. “She did something. I felt the magic, but I don’t understand it. I was able to get you out—you weren’t breathing. Starting pushing on your chest and then you started coughing up the water.”
Closing my eyes, I buried my face against his chest, wishing I could just…stay there. Blood and all. Right here, I almost felt safe, as long as I didn’t have to think.
But Damon’s stock in trade was being an asshole and he wasn’t going to let me hide, it seemed. “It was him, wasn’t it?”
I cringed.
“Kit. We can’t fix this until we know what happened,” he whispered against my temple. Gentle, soothing strokes up and down my back.
Tears leaked out of my eyes.
“I fell asleep. And he was there. I told him to get out and he was just being…himself.” The panic tried to crowd in.
“Stop.” Damon gripped my shoulder. “Listen. Fight it back, you stubborn little bitch, you hear me?”
I saw his eyes—green eyes, that smile. Wake up…hands shoving me down.
“Kit. Where’s your fucking sword?”
My palm itched. I popped my wrist.
“That’s it,” Damon whispered. “Call her.”
I groaned and listened to the whispering of the blade at the back of my mind. Just that was enough to ground me. Gave me the strength to think past the fear. “I…I think I’m okay.”
“Hold your sword, Kit,” Damon said quietly. “You’re steadier when you have it.”
I closed my eyes. There had been a time in m
y life when I had gone to sleep cradling her next to me. Times when I couldn’t sleep without her, when I wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t leave the house for anything unless I had that damn blade. I didn’t want to go back to being that scared again.
“I want her sheathed,” I whispered.
Distantly, I heard the soft brush of fabric. The creak of leather. And then Damon said, “Thanks.” Then he pushed the sheathed blade into my hands. “She’s here. Now get this done. Hiding won’t make it easier.”
Hiding might not. But running could, I thought absently. Gripping the leather, I swallowed back the panic and made myself talk.
“He was in my dreams, talked about my…” I swallowed back the bitter taste of fear. “Talked about my energy, how it made him feel alive. Then he said how much better it was since he’d fed from me. It freaked me out. I told him to leave. I remember that. Then there was…something. I don’t know if somebody else was in the room, or if he wanted me to think somebody was. I don’t know what happened. He told me to wake up, and I wanted to, just to get away from him, but I couldn’t. Then…something shoved me under.”
I gripped the sword to me and closed my eyes.
“He told me you were killing me, Damon. I’d done the job and the Alpha was done with me so you were going to kill me.”
I finished the tea.
I can’t much say it calmed my nerves, but I finished it.
Es took the cup and continued to stand there, studying me critically.
“What?” I asked wearily. I needed to get the blood off of me. I needed to sleep, but I was terrified. I needed…shit. I didn’t know what I needed.
“You said he mentioned your energy.”
I gave a short, jerky nod.
A troubled look into her eyes. “And he’s fed from you.”
“Yes.”
“How many times?”
“Just the once,” I said quietly. Never again—I’ll die before I let him feed from me again. I’d rather be dead than let him deepen this…whatever. Maybe Damon had been right, after all, and death was better than fucking with a vampire.
Es rubbed her brow. “Not all vampires are like Jude, child. Some are just more…apt, we’ll say, to feeding from a psychic vein. It appears that’s what Jude was doing and he’s found a vein he very much likes in you. The blood feed deepened his connection to you. And it likely gave him a taste for more.” She lifted her head and the pale gray of her eyes glinted with warning. “He’ll try again,” she said, her voice blunt.
“I know that.” And that’s when my chaotic, jumping brain finally settled and I knew what I needed to do. I needed to figure out how to kill Jude. Tall order. I wondered if I could get my hands on a small range missile. It could maybe do the job.
“Why did you let him bite you, Kit?”
I glared at her. “At the time, I didn’t think I had much of a choice.”
“Well, that’s understandable.” A faint smile curled her lips. “Life happens that way at times, doesn’t it? But you have options now. Choices. But the fact is…he bit you and there’s a bond. Jude is old. He’s not ancient, but he’s got some years on him, so he’s strong. He’s also ruthless and something of a…well.” She pursed her lips and then said, “To be blunt, he’s a dick.”
I stared at her and then nodded. “I can agree with that.”
“He occasionally has his moments where he isn’t a total bastard, but even those moments are usually fueled by some innate drive to manipulate. He is always scheming.” She studied my face. “I heard he aided you once. Years ago. Even then, he was likely scheming. Don’t believe he has any innate sense of decency. Many vampires do. Jude does not.”
“We just established he’s a dick, right?”
Es chuckled. “Indeed we did.” She reached out and caught my wrist.
I tensed as she traced over the path where he had bitten me. I couldn’t see where he had bitten me and there was no way anything lingered.
“It leaves a mark.” She looked up at me. “A healer can see it. It will fade in time, but the mark is there. Just as the bond is there. Bonds are odd things, though. If a stronger bond is set in place…or if a new bond is formed, he won’t have the ability to call you.”
I jerked my wrist back. “Meaning…what? I should find a local vamp to bite me?”
“It’s an option.” She smiled. “Kori’s lover is a vampire, and a lovely lady. A kind one. Plus, she’s a friend of the house, meaning she would have our protection should Jude decide to get…pissy. I’d rather enjoy that,” she said. The grin on her face took on a devious slant. “I’d enjoy it quite a lot, actually.”
I just stared at her.
“Not all vampires are of Jude’s ilk, Kit. As I said. It’s an option.”
“Not a good one,” Damon growled.
He had taken up residence over by the fire again.
I shot him a nervous glance.
Es made an odd little humming noise under her breath. “Well, there are other options, other bonds. Stronger ones.”
“Quiet, witch.” He bit each word off like he’d rather be biting into something.
Sighing, Es said, “Another option—I can offer you a spell. A charm of sorts, like what I did earlier that knocked him out of your mind. It will only last while you are in my home and I’ll have to do it again every day at sunset. It will work. But it’s only a short-term option. If that’s what you choose to do, the best choice might be for you to buy a plane ticket and then lose yourself somewhere very, very far away from here, Kit. If you stay away from him for a few months, the bond will fade and then he won’t be able to call you like this again. I’d recommend you have the local house spell your home against him and you should keep your distance from him in the future.”
“I’m not running.” Even as I said it, I wanted to kick myself. Damn it, I’d run before and done very well with it. What was wrong with me? “I’m not running away from that bastard.”
A soft smile curved her lips. “Then you need to think through the other options.” She brushed my hair back. “You could try approaching the Assembly. He did bite you without explaining all that would happen as a result and that is an ethical violation. But I wouldn’t recommend that.”
“Bad idea.” I shook my head. “Makes me look weak in their eyes and I’d rather not look any weaker than I already do.”
“Kitasa…” She chuckled as she turned away. “The Assembly hardly sees you as weak. Not as physically strong as some, but you’re impossibly clever, incredibly quick and you managed on your own in this world. It’s a singular sort of strength, but strength nonetheless. You should rest. You can think this through in the morning.”
Chapter Twenty One
I stood in the bathroom, staring at the shower.
I needed to get in there and get clean.
I couldn’t even manage to let go of the blanket wrapped around me, though.
I am aneira. My heart is strong. My aim is true. And I’m now scared of water.
There was a knock at the door.
The sound of it made me flinch.
When I didn’t answer, Damon just came inside. One look at me made him sigh and he tugged the blanket out of my death grip. He didn’t take it away, just held it steady, ready to lower it. “It won’t get better if you don’t face it,” he said quietly. “Sooner is better.”
“I just drowned, what, a couple hours ago?” I said. I sounded like a bitch. I didn’t care. “I think I can have a day or two to freak about it. It’s totally understandable that I have a few moments about water right now. I should be allowed to freak out a little.”
“You can freak about it for the next hundred years.” He looked down at me and brushed my hair back from my face. I could see the blood on his hand. “I’m going to. I know that.”
“Why are we all bloody?” I spread my hand over his chest. There weren’t any wounds left, but earlier, his chest had looked like somebody had tried to carve him up like a Thanksgiving turkey.
&n
bsp; He grimaced. “Well, I got to see firsthand how good you are with your sword. And you’re good. Very good.”
I closed my eyes. “I did this.”
“You were panicking—thinking about that fucking leech.”
Fear tried to crowd in again, but I gamely shoved it back. I couldn’t panic every time I thought of him. Especially not since I was still thinking about killing him.
“I’m sorry.”
“No reason.” He laid a hand on my throat and then grinned at me. “Maybe we can call it even now. I think, inch for inch, you did a lot more damage in the long run. You definitely got a pound of flesh and quart of blood.”
I surprised myself by laughing. “Hey, I can’t heal in the blink of an eye.” Staring past him to the shower, I swallowed. “Will…will you get in there with me? Please?”
The glow in his eyes flashed. A growl broke free—for just a second and then it was gone. He gave me a single, short nod then he caught my wrist, guided it up to the blanket. “Hold it a minute, kitten.”
The sound of the water coming up shouldn’t make me quake. It did.
I thought, oddly, of my grandmother.
Closing my eyes, I thought, She didn’t break me, damn it. I won’t let him do it, either.
Distantly, I heard the quiet whisper of him stripping off his jeans. “These things are wasted,” he muttered. The thud of them hitting the ground. Think about mundane things. Maybe even not mundane—I popped open one eye and stared at him.
Wow.
Very, very, wow.
Not mundane at all.
Blood streaked his chest, his arms. The lines of his tattoo shone through the dry red. I laid a hand on it. “How were you able to get this done?” I asked softly.
“Before I spiked. Healing is still close to human rate then.” He studied me. “You ready?” he asked, his voice quiet, soft. Gentle, I decided.
The world’s biggest asshole was gentling me into the shower.
And I wasn’t going to start crying again.
With a jerky nod, I let go of the blanket. My legs didn’t want to work. Nothing did. But I finally managed to climb in. I tensed at the feel of the water. Panic—
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