While the Dom checks his sub, I try to remember how the spare room at the flat has been set up. It should be as it always is. I must have her tonight. Completely. For us to go forward, I must have her acceptance and submission. In Oxwich, she intentionally played to my watching eyes, encouraging me to reveal all my base desires. I must know if that woman was left behind in the white house. Bringing her to the club and then home tonight is the final step to determine if she is the woman I hope she is—if she is my woman.
In spite of the distractions around us, she captures my gaze. I only see her now and the thought of leaving her in London tears a fucking hole in my heart.
Simple. My life is simple and uncomplicated and I have never wished to change it. But us? Why can’t she see it? She is my match in every way, yet she has determined we have an expiry date and is stubbornly sticking to it.
I try to re-focus on the scene and see that the sub is about to come. I risk a glance at Tori. The scene playing out on stage entrances her. I picture Tori in my mind’s eye. I picture her beautiful body bowing to my command, my control. My balls ache. The piercing scream from the little sub signals her climax and Tori squirms with arousal next to me. I count to ten in an effort to calm my beating heart and subdue my raging hard-on. I grab her hand and rise to leave, my attention focused on the exit at the back of the club. She trots behind me as I pull her along. I don’t have the patience to wait for my car.
“Keys,” I snap at the valet and hold out my hand. Silent desire stifles the air inside the Jag as I race home. I struggle to keep my eyes on the road. A peek at her reveals my own arousal mirrored in her eyes. I don’t stop when we enter the living room. I whisk her straight up to the spare room. I open the door and walk in, pulling her after me. A mosaic of mirrors covers all the walls of the room. I designed them for the sole purpose of watching. Wherever I am in the room, my greedy eyes devour each glistening lip, peaked nipple, every inch of flushed, needy and swollen flesh.
“Stand at the foot of the bed. Face the chair. Don’t move until I’m sat.” She obeys my command. No hesitation. No question. My self control is waning. “Do you know how hard I was watching that scene with you next to me, squirming in your seat because you couldn’t control what was happening to your body? I wanted the woman on the stage to be you. I wanted to watch you climax helplessly at my touch. I wanted to watch you.” I can’t help the aggression in my tone. Tonight has been a challenge for both of us. I want to see how she will react to the darker part of me - the more intense side. Her response now is the final answer I need.
I take my seat. “I want to watch you. Show me what tonight did for you. Show me how you feel, how your body craves me. Don’t hold back. I know you can put on a show, Tori. You did that the first night in my bedroom. For tonight, I want to see you let go. I can see every angle of your delectable body from this chair, Tori, and I am going to enjoy it.”
* * *
Tori
As he tells me what he wants, relief mixes with satisfaction. I want him to want to watch me. I look at the hundred reflections of me on the walls. I hardly recognise myself. The superior, self-righteous and emotionally isolated woman seems to have grown into someone else.
I turn to Aeron. His eyes burn through my clothes. I can’t wait to show him how turned on I am, how erotic I feel when he watches. Seeing the man on stage dominate his woman earlier has me thinking about how far I would go with Aeron. I see his aggression, his personal storm physically gathering within him, a prelude to the amazing sex necessary to reach the calm on the other side.
My reflection catches my eye again. My pink cheeks betray my arousal. Desire pounds in my chest. My body fills with insatiable need. Emotions rip through me, and I close my eyes and drown in the emotion. I’m in love with this man. I will do whatever Aeron asks of me, regardless of tomorrow. This week, the regret and sorrow I felt about Mum make me want to take my opportunities.
I open my eyes and walk to stand in front of Aeron. A strange, almost blissful feeling settles over me as I find an internal rhythm and with a gentle sway of my hips, begin to undress for him. I hold his gaze. I see the passion, lust and even love that I feel reflected back at me. He watches me. He feels what I feel. Does he love me, too? The heady thought serves to heighten my previous state of arousal.
My dress slinks to the floor and I begin to take my own pleasure. My hands travel surely across my skin and tease my nipples, pinching and tweaking them to firm peaks. One hand travels down between my spread thighs to explore my drenched lips and rub my clit.
“I could make myself come, right now. But I want to do as you asked.” I push my finger inside my pussy and moan as the satisfaction burns through me. Aeron’s jaw ticks but he doesn’t respond. My other hand keeps my nipples firm and plays with my breasts. I can feel his eyes drawing me to him. I want to give myself over, to be his fantasy. I push my fingers deeper and moan as the feelings start to pull me under. “Please... I want you to fill me up, Aeron.” His breathing labours at my carnal words.
I glance at the mirror closest to me. An erotic vixen looks back, enjoying her body and its delights in an erotic display. Is that really me? I move my hips and my hand and see the mirrored action as proof. It sends a shiver of...something through me, flooding my pussy with desire. Tearing my eyes away, I focus back on Aeron. His hand wraps his cock, freed from his trousers. He gently pumps his hand along the shaft. His eyes, pinpoint lasers of hunger and desire, stare at me.
His desire gives me confidence beyond measure. Withdrawing my fingers, I step close and offer them to him. The hot interior of his mouth echoes the hot interior of my pussy. It spasms as his tongue swirls around my fingers, licking off the proof of my need. I drop to my knees in front of him and pull his cock into my mouth. My other fingers push back into my pussy and mimic the actions of my mouth as I slide my lips down to the base of his cock, up the smooth underside and thrust back down. I groan around his cock at the sensations coiling between my legs. Aeron finally rewards me with a hiss. I look up at him. His gaze is transfixed by the action reflected in the two mirrors near us. I imagine the explicit images he sees in the reflection as I finger fuck myself and suck his cock deep into my mouth. My orgasm pools in my stomach. My limbs ache and twitch to let go. I quicken my pace.
“Shit!”
Aeron’s body tenses and it tips me over. My hand cups my pussy as my hips take over and I swallow frantically around his cock. Bucking into my hand, my orgasm sweeps through me.
“God, Tori, yes!”
Hot spurts of come fill my mouth and I swallow it before collapsing onto his lap.
I’m distantly aware of being lifted and again, like that first night, I’m laid out on his bed. I’m drifting. My eyes are heavy and I’m secure, feeling Aeron’s body pressing into mine.
* * *
“Come on, baby.” I hear Aeron’s voice creep into the recesses of my mind.
“Ahh!” He pinches my nipple, waking me up. My eyes open to him and hold his gaze.
“I want to be in you. Fuck, your mouth was spectacular and watching your fingers push inside your hot pussy was beyond my imagination. But I need this. I can’t wait any longer.” He pushes deep inside of me.
The stretch of him filling me wakes my tired body and has it buzzing again. Aeron is lazy with his movements, though, taking his time to pull out and push into me. It’s sinfully good and I slip further under his spell. The tingling sensation builds and my pussy pulses with growing need at every stroke of his hard shaft past my clit. I cling to Aeron’s body as he takes control. My eyes drift back to the darkness and I am lost to sensation. Aeron, me, us... it’s almost too much. I didn’t know that I could feel so deeply or that being with someone could be this intense and spark such passion.
Pulling him to me, my kisses consume us as my body shatters in a blinding orgasm. I moan into his mouth as I shudder through my climax. Aeron follows, grinding into me and thrusting his tongue in my mouth as my pussy milks his cock. We both
breathe through the kiss, trying to catch our breath as our hearts slow. Sleep drags me back down, stronger than before, and I let myself drift.
“Utterly beautiful, remarkable. You’ve given everything I asked of you so completely. Can’t you see? You need this as much as I do.”
His whispered words drift in, but sleep claims me.
Chapter Ten
My eyes flutter open and I allow absolute joy to fill my body. I am wrapped in Aeron. As I come to, I remember what today must bring. The joy turns to stone in my veins.
“Good morning, baby.” His eyes are still closed but his voice is filled with such warmth my heart swells.
“Morning.”
He stretches out and props himself up next to me. His stare makes me nervous and my heart rate accelerates.
“Tori, I know we said this would only be a one week thing, but that’s not enough for me. Last night everything clicked and I want you in my life. Not an occasional visit, but every day. Please, think about it. Come back to Wales with me. Be with me. The white house can be yours with me.”
His words would make any other woman fall at his feet, but they send panic through me. I’d have to give up my London job and my London home to go back with him. I can’t do that. It would make a mockery of everything I’ve already given up. My job is everything. What would I be without it? I’d be reduced to being a dependent woman, beholden to Aeron with nothing to fill my time. Could I trust anyone that much? Be that dependent?
“Aeron, I’m sorry. I just...” I try and think of the words to explain my feelings. “I can’t.”
He moves away from me to sit on the bed but he doesn’t settle. He begins pacing around the room.
“Why? Why not? You know we’re perfect for each other. Hell, I’ve never connected with anyone like I have with you and I know you feel the same.”
“I know, but this... It isn’t reality. It won’t last. I can’t.”
“Stop it, Tori. I’m not your ex-husband. I won’t resent you for your success. You can still have your career. Nothing has to change. ”
“Yes, I would have to change. I can’t do my job in Oxwich. What will I do there? I can’t be locked away in your tower like you, week after week. That’s not my reality.”
“Is that how you see me? You think I lock myself away?”
“Well don’t you? You hardly ever leave. You only come to the city when you have to. You don’t go out with friends. I don’t even know if you have any friends. You just spend your time locked on that cliff, watching.”
“Nothing’s changed then. After this week, getting to know you, spending time with you, letting you in, I really thought...”
“Would you give up Oxwich, the white house, and move to London?” His eyes narrow at me and fury explodes from them. I shake my head. “I’m sorry. You are no more ready to leave Oxwich and the white house behind than I am London. You want me to make all the sacrifices and I won’t do that for anyone.”
The storm in him is back and raw aggression is evident in every part of his posture. I can’t look him in the eye. I’m afraid if I do I’ll break. Why can’t I follow my heart instead of my head? Would giving in be so bad? I could walk away from my job. I don’t need the money. I stop twisting my hands in my lap and risk a glance at Aeron. He’s watching me. Fear slices through me at the thought that this is it. If I walk out, he’ll never look at me again. I’ll never feel his focus on me again. Yet even that can’t make me say the words that are lodged in my throat. This week with Aeron has been incredible, eye-opening, but I need my career. What would I be without that?
“I’m sorry, too. A car from my office will be outside in fifteen minutes to take you home. Goodbye, Tori.”
He leaves the room quietly, shutting the door behind him. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him that maybe we could work something out. But he’s as stubborn as I am. He will never leave his home yet he expects me to, and I would be giving up far more than a physical place. I would be giving up my job. I cling to this fact, drawing strength from it being his fault as much as mine. As I dress and fix my hair, my hollow, pale face stares back at me from a hundred mirrors. Gone is the confident vixen from last night. I watch the tears tumble from my eyes, wetting my cheeks. I’ve cried so much this week - more than I have in years - and a lonely mist creeps into my bones.
Who have I got in my life? Who will be there for me if I’m sad or upset? Closing my eyes, I remember Aeron’s strong arms enveloping me in a simple hug and I ache for him to do that now. But I pushed that away, didn’t I? I wipe my eyes, stand erect and pull my shoulders back. I’ve never needed anyone before. I don’t now.
I collect my bags from last night. There’s no sign of Aeron so I head down the hall and leave. A sleek black saloon car is waiting at the curb and a smartly dressed woman appears and opens my door as I approach.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Where would you like to go, Ms. Abbott?”
“Chelsea Park Gardens, please.”
“Yes, Ms. Abbott.”
I look out of the window as we pull into traffic but I don’t see Aeron. Part of me wishes I could see him and start this morning over. But would I change my mind? Would I have the courage to act for my heart and what it wants instead of what I have always convinced myself is more important? Staring out into the bleak day, I close my eyes again and take myself back to the beach. Memories of Aeron and our time together co-mingle with memories of my mum and my childhood. Feelings of warmth and happiness push back the darkening haze that has been growing since Aeron left me in the mirror room.
Memories. Such powerful things. I’ve never really given any thought to them before going back to the beach last week. Now I want to cling to them as if my life depends on it.
Chapter Eleven
On Monday morning, I walk into my building, my armour back in place in the guise of my favourite pencil dress and Alexander McQueen jacket. It doesn’t stop the receptionist flying to my side as I head directly to the lift up to my floor.
“Ms. Abbott, thank heavens you’re back. Penny has been trying to get through to you all week.”
“Thank you, Jessica.” I dismiss her, ignoring the buzzing of my phone in my hand. It stops as I wait for my floor. The doors open onto Penny, blocking my exit.
“Tori, finally. I have a stack of messages for you and these papers needed your signature last week.”
“Penny, at least let me get to my office.” I brush past her. What used to be my retreat now holds nothing but dread as I open the door and sit down at my desk. Penny follows me in and dumps the stack of files and papers to the side of me.
“The VP from New York will be here at eleven for the quarterly update. I have the presentation finalised from your notes, and John wants to run through it at nine.”
“Stop. Just stop a minute.” I can’t listen to her anymore. “Please, can you grab me a large latte and then give me a few minutes. Leave everything for a minute.”
“Yes, Tori.” She scuttles out and I immediately feel guilty for snapping. I don’t want to be here, but it’s not Penny’s fault. Nothing has been able to stop the heartache I’ve felt every second since leaving Aeron. Last night, I attempted to catch up on the mountainous paperwork I neglected this week, with abject failure. I couldn’t even lose myself in my work. I’ve always been able to shut out the world and submerge myself in my job. Regret at my own stupidity hung around my neck until I’d done nothing but stare unseeing at the papers in front of me.
I dismissed the best thing that ever happened to me because of my own insecurities and hang-ups. My career has come above everything – my marriage, my family. And what have I gotten in return? A sixty-hour week and no time to spend the money I earn. What’s the point?
As I open up my laptop and wait for the emails to load, I ignore my phone still buzzing across my desk. The light on my desk phone is flashing incessantly but I block that out as well.
“Here’s your coffee, Tori.”
>
“Thank you, Penny.”
“Is everything alright, Tori? You don’t seem like your usual self.”
“No, Penny. Nothing is all right.” I sigh as I sip the creamy coffee.
“I’m sorry about your mother. I hope you got everything sorted out. It’s been a mess without you here.”
“Thank you... And, Penny, I’m sorry I snapped at you.”
She leaves and I sit back in the leather chair and stare at the monitor. Black, bold text fills the screen and something breaks inside of me. I don’t want this.
“Tori, good. Glad you’re back. I need your signature on the Adamson proposal and I hope you’re ready for the quarterly presentation to the New York office. ” John strolls into my office. The placating tone in his voice sends a chill across my skin.
“No, John.”
“No? What do you mean, no?”
“I mean no. I’m not signing the Adamson proposal. I’m not presenting the quarterly to the New York team, and as of right now, I no longer work for you. I quit!”
John frowned. “Tori, you can’t quit. You’re the finance director.”
Energized for the first time since walking out of Aeron’s apartment, I stand abruptly. My chair hits the wall behind me. “Watch me.”
With a rush of adrenaline, I grab my bag and glide past him and out of the building.
* * *
A week later
As soon as I set foot on the beach, a weight lifts from my shoulders. A sense of calm washes over me. This is the right thing to do, even if it took me a while to figure it out. The spring day has heated the sand and my toes wiggle into the grains before I walk out toward the white house. My light sun dress hugs my curves. I shed the power suits I’ve always clung to like a shield and allowed myself be a little more free, a little flirty. I thought about what Aeron might like to see.
Undertow: A compilation of short beach stories Page 15
