Stuck here? She felt stuck here? God, I was such an idiot. This whole time I thought Charlie was blissfully content serving coffee, working as one of my baristas, basically because I was blissfully content having her so close to me. But even that was a lie. I wasn’t blissfully content because I didn’t have her. I just loved the fact that I got see to her every day.
How could I have thought so little of her?
Six months ago she said she wanted to work on herself, focus on what she needed. And I assumed she just meant no more sleeping around. Like a total shallow dick that I was, I didn’t think beyond my own basic needs. The thought Charlie might also want to improve her career prospects hadn’t even crossed my mind. Whenever I dreamt of my future with Charlie, it was the standard pregnant and naked kind of dream. With delicious baked goods all around us.
Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, I guided her out the back door and walked her to my car.
“What are you doing? I can drive myself home. I’m just upset, Ford. That’s all. I’ll be fine in a few minutes. I can take care of myself.”
“No, Charlie. You’re not fine. You’re disappointed, upset, and you need a friend to talk to. For once in your life, just let someone be there for you. We’re going to my house, we’re ordering really good Chinese food, and you’re showing me your business plan.” She looked up me, her face a red, wet mess from having been shoved against my chest, and yet she was still the most beautiful, fascinating creature I’d ever come across. “Please, Charlie. For me. I can’t in good conscious let you go home when you’re this upset.” I stroked her cheek, lingering a bit longer than I probably should.
“Okay, Ford. That actually sounds great.”
“Cool, belt up and I’ll just go finish locking up.” I turned and headed across the parking lot, my keys in my hand.
“Ford,” she called out, before I was halfway across the lot. I looked back and she gave me a watery smile. “Thanks for being such a good friend.”
There it was.
The fucking friend-zone.
Chapter Four
Charlie
Despite having known Ford for a few years, I’d never been to his house. I mean, why would I? He was my boss. And my friend, but really a casual friend. To make the division even wider, we came from different worlds.
He owned his own coffee shop and ran a successful online company selling specialty coffee blends he got from sources all over the world. Coffee was his life. And he was able to make coffee his life because he knew how to handle money. And he was a Gross. Everyone knew the Gross family had money. If they didn’t know, all they had to do was a quick internet search and read about the Gross family fortune. What the hell Ford was doing, living in the middle of nowhere, running a small, albeit successful coffee shop, was beyond me. But who was I to judge? He seemed happy and that said a lot coming from me.
I’d had a crush on Ford since the day he interviewed me. His glasses gave him this slightly nerdy look but throw in his muscles, height, and reserved manner and he exuded this mysterious, intelligent alpha male thing. Like the guy could make you scream in bed from the best orgasm and then compose you a sonata and do your taxes at the same time. The whole brains and buff thing drove me crazy. But it didn’t matter. I didn’t go for guys like him because I wasn’t an idiot. We weren’t in the same league. He didn’t go for women like me. It was that simple.
What I had to offer wasn’t of any real worth to a guy like Ford.
Although I didn’t really know what kind of women he went for. The only woman in his life I knew about was his ex-girlfriend Marilyn. She was in and out of the picture and from what I could tell, Ford didn’t really care either way. I could never place my finger on what their deal was. He’d let slip once that fidelity wasn’t her strong point but then clammed up whenever I tried to broach the subject.
But either way, I wasn’t the girl for him. After all, we’d worked side by side together for two years. If he was interested he would have made a move by now. He had plenty of time before my sex ban started. We were just friends and right now I really needed a friend.
We’d been driving for over half an hour through the woods and I couldn’t help but be curious.
“Wow, I didn’t realize when you talked about your place in the woods, it was in the middle of the damn woods. How far do we have to go yet?”
“I guess it is pretty far out here.” He pushed his glasses up his nose, something he did when he was nervous and I wondered why he was nervous now.
“Hey, if I could afford to live in the middle of nowhere and just escape from the world, I’d do the same thing.”
“Really? You like being outside?”
I wrinkled my nose up, “Outside? Well, I like the idea of nature but honestly, I’ve never really spent any time doing outdoorsy stuff. Hiking, camping, all that stuff.”
He glanced over at me. “You’ve never been camping?” He seemed shocked by my passing statement.
“Nope. Not sure where my dad would have found the time to take me camping. I mean, between working at his factory job, paying alimony for his ex-wife, spending quality time with his daughter didn’t really factor into his list of priorities.”
I watched his knuckles tighten on the steering wheel as he scowled, peering out into the darkness. Whatever I’d said clearly bothered him. Was there a chance Ford didn’t know about where I’d come from? I’d kept quiet about where I’d come from, wanting to start fresh in a new town, but I hadn’t gotten far from home and I assumed he knew I was trailer trash.
Finally, we pulled into a clearing in the woods and there stood his house. It wasn’t what I expected, although I didn’t really have any idea what to expect. With the Gross name, I wouldn’t have been surprised if Ford had a mansion up here and this moderate-sized looking lodge was simply for the staff. Then again, Ford never flashed his money and part of me loved that about him.
He pulled up in front of the oversized cabin and I could feel him watching me as I got out and started up the front steps. I gave him a big smile as he opened the front door. His silence was unusual and for some reason he was obviously nervous about bringing me to his house. Ford was a lot of things—quiet, a bit goofy with his glasses, focused, but always confident and sure of himself. It was freaking me out seeing him nervous.
Stepping into the main living area was stepping into a movie set. The place was a mix of quaint mountain cabin meets modern minimalist man-cave. This was not the Ford I knew. But I guess I didn’t know him that well.
“I’m going to make us something to drink. Something with chocolate. That always makes women happy,” he half-mumbled to himself as he headed towards the open-plan kitchen. “Have a look around and I’ll be right with you.”
The large dark leather sectional couches faced a television that could pass as a movie screen. Ford obviously liked hanging out. As far as I knew, he wasn’t social though. I pictured him sitting alone on one of his huge, comfy looking couches, watching a movie. Alone. And it made me sad. Although who was I to judge? My one and only friend, Katy, have left for Paris and most of my weekends were now spent working on my business plan and watching The West Wing.
Moving on, I spied a pair of French doors leading off from the living room out onto an enormous deck. The sound of Ford making hot cocoa filtered my way and I thought about offering to help. After making coffee for other people all day, the last thing I wanted to do was make another hot beverage, and anyway, the deck was calling me.
Unlocking the doors, I walked out onto what was basically a deck the size of the house. It extended into the woods and he hadn’t cut the trees down near the back, making it feel enclosed, the dark woods looming up around me. It should have been creepy and daunting. But the overall impression was the opposite. Somehow it felt cozy and secluded. A couple of deck chairs were laid out near the end furthest away from the house.
Sitting down, I closed my eyes and just took a moment to myself. The Serena drama, missing Katy, not exactl
y loving the whole abstinence thing but knowing it was good for me, my connection with Ford I knew would only ever just be a friendship, what I was going to do with my life now. My thoughts buzzed in my head and I concentrated on pushing them out one by one and just listening to the natural noises around me. The sounds of the woods took over slowly—an owl or two, the rustle of the leaves as a soft wind fluttered through the branches.
This is what I need. Peace and quiet.
“Pretty peaceful, isn’t it?”
I yelped in surprise. So lost on my moment of calm, I hadn’t even heard Ford approaching. Balanced on one hand, Ford held a tray with our two cups of something chocolaty and in the other, his laptop. I reached up and took the tray, placing it on the small table between the chairs.
“I was just thinking that. This place is amazing. I’d live out on this deck, if I had this place.”
He smiled in appreciation. “You won’t be saying that in about twenty minutes. I ran out of candles and the mosquitos can get vicious. But we’ve got enough time before the little vampires descend and I thought you could show me your proposal.” Sitting down sideways on my chair, he propped his laptop on my knees. “I kind of assumed you had it stored in a cloud or your email, so just log in and get it.”
I bit my lip, acutely aware of Ford’s gaze. For some reason showing Ford my business plan felt more intimidating than showing the bank. He nudged my shoulder and I bent over and logged in to my email.
Once I’d opened the document, I slid it over onto his lap and waited. His eyes flitted across the page as he quickly scrolled through it. Sitting this close to him, I decided to focus on anything but the fact Ford, an heir to one of the country’s most successful businesses, was probably laughing inside at my pathetic attempt to start my own little enterprise. Instead, I decided to focus on the fact our bodies were touching.
A lot.
Sitting side by side, we were making contact essentially from our shoulders, all the way down our torsos, thighs, and then knees. Every moment, breath, sigh, fidget he made, I felt. There was something about Ford, the way he was so contained and in control, made me think underneath all that was an animal, waiting to get out. A caveman he needed to keep leashed in order to pass as a civilized man. Sure, his job wasn’t particularly masculine—selling coffee, but Ford was all man. I sometimes caught him looking at me when we worked together, his face dark and almost angry.
The first few times I thought it was because I messed up an order or dropped a bag of freshly ground beans, but then I realized it was something else. I didn’t know what it was though. At first I hoped it was lust or even longing. But he never made a move. Not once. A long time ago, a few months into working with him, I’d tried to flirt and let him know I’d be up for something but he never made his move. I’d dropped any fantasy I had of being with a man like Ford. I still caught him looking but that didn’t mean much. Maybe he just liked to look. Lots of guys looked but never touched.
But sitting here, so close, I let myself wonder if perhaps I’d given up a bit too quick with Ford. I mean, he didn’t need to invite me to his house, did he? He could have patted me on the back and sent me on my way with a sympathetic smile and it would have been just as I expected. I struggled to read him, really read him and it made applying my little rules of life virtually useless.
Chapter Five
Ford
“This looks really good, Charlie.” I nodded as I finished reading the last few numbers on the spreadsheet.
“Really? Thanks. I mean … the money guy I hired to help me did most of it.”
“Don’t do that. Don’t knock the hard work you’ve put into this. I highly doubt the guy researched the ins and outs of overheads and profit margins for blueberry cupcakes and chocolate brioche. Also, the whole description about why you even want to do this. It’s so you. Your enthusiasm seeps through. I’m not surprised the bank was ready to say yes. Until the bad credit thing.”
Her face crumbled as I stupidly reminded her of her step-sister’s credit card fraud.
Nice one, Ford, she was actually smiling for a few seconds there.
“Hey, I have an idea. Let’s take our drinks inside and watch something. Anything you want. Name your favorite show.”
“The West Wing. But I doubt you want to watch that.”
“Are you kidding? I love The West Wing. Which season is your favorite? I’ve got them all on DVD, so you pick.” I didn’t elaborate how my interest in her favorite show had developed when I happened to hear her telling Katy about it last year. On the odd chance I ever managed to get Charlie over to my place, I wanted to be ready for her. And in all honesty, I’d gotten hooked on the show.
“Are you serious?” She quickly stood up. “Okay, we’ll have to pick between season three and seven.” She continued to ramble on about Josh and Donna and plot lines I, thankfully, was pretty knowledgeable about.
“Let’s go with seven,” I announced as I got her settled on the couch before walking over the units under the mounted television where I kept my DVDs.
“Why seven? Let’s hear your arguments,” she asked quickly.
“Okay, first and foremost, there’s the kiss. You know, the one between Josh and Donna. I mean, for seven seasons we waited for the damn kiss. She wanted it. He wanted it. The sexual tension is palpable, the connection, the whole thing.” I ignored the fact that it meant starting an episode halfway through the season. Starting the DVD, I turned to face Charlie.
“That kiss.” She touched her lips for a moment. “That was something, wasn’t it?”
It didn’t require an answer, instead I sat next to her, right next to her in fact, so close she ended up leaning on me, and I pressed play on the menu system. At first she leaned stiffly against me, her hands clasped on her lap awkwardly and I wondered if this was the right thing to do.
After all I was her boss. Maybe she was afraid of losing her job. I wasn’t planning on anything happening, I was happy with just having her lush body snug against me. It was nice. Relaxed. Comfortable. Yeah, that was it. I was just keeping her comfortable.
We both focused on the screen but as the minutes ticked by I couldn’t help but focus on how much of her body was touching mine, the way her hair smelled, the subtle rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. In a classic date move that I unashamedly knew was on par with the skills of a freshman in high school, I stretched my arms over head and settled it around her shoulder, shifting our bodies until she was snuggled against my chest. She was pretty engrossed in the show and her hand settled on my chest where she started to absent-mindedly fiddle with a button on my shirt.
“How’s the whole abstinence thing working out?” I finally asked, unable to just sit in silence, pretending to watch the show.
Please say great, please say great, please say great.
Charlie shrugged. “It’s all right. I mean, it’s been really great not having to worry about all the stupid stuff I usually spend so much time worrying about when I’m into a guy. I didn’t realize how much energy I was putting into all of it until I stopped.” She didn’t elaborate and I took it as a sign she didn’t want to talk about it. Even thought my brain had about a million questions to ask. However, I knew they would mostly be questions that involved her telling me about her past boyfriends and I really didn’t want to know. I’d heard enough comments about her to paint enough of a picture that did very little but piss me off.
“What about you? What’s up with Marilyn?” she asked. The fact that she knew my ex’s name was only a good thing, I thought. It meant she noticed the women in my life. Although plural was an exaggeration. My fixation with Charlie meant the only women in my life where those my father some managed to push in my general direction.
Marilyn had been coming around a lot, despite the fact we had only been on a handful of dates. She’s was a borderline bunny-boiler my father had sent my way, who tried to get me to agree to exclusivity with her after three dinners. When I didn’t agree, she made it clear
a long line of suitable men were waiting by the phone for her and I better make my move or else. The move I made though wasn’t the one she expected when I told her our third date was our final one. It didn’t stop her from occasionally popping up at the coffee shop, trying to flirt with me but mostly just embarrassing herself. It didn’t help her cause when she told me she was in a relationship with a guy I knew but was happy to have an adult sleep-over whenever I wanted.
“Nothing. That kind of woman isn’t used to hearing ‘no’.”
“Seems like she’s really into you.”
“It was three dates. Three.” I held up my fingers. Whilst I liked how Charlie was obviously keen to find out how I felt about Marilyn, there was no way I wanted her to think I actually had an emotional or physical connection with the woman. She was rude to my staff and acted like they were beneath her. “The woman dictated which restaurants I took her to on all three of our dates. She then went on to describe her perfect wedding location, which coincidently and not weirdly at all, was my parents’ beach house. And she told me the last four places she went on vacation, just this year. Because her life is so busy, with all the energy it takes to blow her inheritance on shopping.” There was no point hiding the bitterness. Charlie didn’t like Marilyn, which was evident by the fact she always, I mean always got her order wrong. Attention to detail when it came to orders wasn’t Charlie’s strong point, but I knew when she was deliberately frustrating when it came to Marilyn and I couldn’t blame her.
“Then why does she keep coming around?”
“Honestly, I don’t know. I think it’s so when she reports back to her parents and mine, she can sound like she’s making all the right moves and I’m just being difficult. There’s a lot of matchmaking in my family and they don’t like it when I don’t play ball.”
She continued to fiddle with the buttons on my shirt as the show droned on.
Into the Woods (Lust in the Woods Book 2) Page 3
