Marriage by Proxy

by Combs, Sasha

  “Let’s go to bed. I want you to make love to me.” Misha had no words. All he’d ever wanted from her was slowly and delightfully manifesting before his eyes. He wanted her to want him; not just physically but in every way. And as she recounted her childhood story he felt her release a part of herself to him; binding her even closer to his heart. He knew that when they entered their bedroom their union would not just be a sexual act; but instead their act of love would be a binding of promises. Promises to love and obey. Promises to stay with each other in sickness and in health. Promises to forsake all others and cleave to each other. This union would be about promises which would seal them for life.

  As they entered the bedroom Carolyn asked Misha to start a fire. She grabbed her overnight bag and went into the bathroom. Carolyn knew that her flannel wardrobe would in no way entice her waiting husband but she had enough fragrant lotions and oils to excite a eunuch. After showing she prepared her body with the floral scents. Wrapping a large bath towel around her body she entered the bedroom. Misha had already disrobed and he laid waiting for her in the bed. The firelight danced off the walls as the wood popped and crackled in the room. Misha turned too looked at her as she entered the room. His eyes always betrayed him. He licked his lips and smiled as he said

  “Carolyn you look so beautiful.” Reaching his hand out to her he said “Come join me. Let me warm you up.” Carolyn reached out to take his hand as her towel fell to the floor and lay as a mound of fabric at her feet. Stepping over the towel, she climbed into the bed. She lay on top of him hungrily kissing and probing his mouth with her tongue. In a sultry voice she whispered across his lips.

  “Show me how much you love me.” Misha’s gaze became hot, piercing and hungry. He recalled seeing her for the first time as she and Alexandra entered the restaurant. He’d only arrived moments before them but is was just long enough to allow him the opportunity to watch her long shapely legs and her perfectly toned body as she sashayed across the restaurant to their reserved table. He knew then that he was hooked. And from that very moment his attraction had grown by leaps and bounds each day. Misha grabbed Carolyn as he switched positions with her. He wanted to have her but he wanted to take his time. He wanted to love every inch of her body yet still have Carolyn begging for more. He wanted to be so tender that it would drive her to the very brink of insanity. As he sucked on her bottom lip he grabbed her hands and placed them above her head. Holding them captive with one hand, he allowed his free hand to caress her face, neck and chest. As he played with her mound of curls he dared to demand something else from her. His Russian accent deep and rich floated over her lips “I love you Carolyn. I truly and sincerely love you.” She released moans of pleasure as his hand continued to tease and taunt her. Misha continued

  ”Tell me how you feel Carolyn...I want to hear you.” Carolyn couldn’t speak; her heart was racing as her mind battled to distinguish emotion from reason. “Tell me baby…I need to hear you.” He flitted his tongue along her ear as he demanded to hear the words that his heart longed for. Carolyn felt drunk with pleasure and she knew that whatever she said would either seal them permanently or ripped them apart. But she couldn’t think. Misha was rubbing, kissing, speaking to her in Russian; it was almost more than she could physically take. Just as she thought she had composed herself enough to respond; he climbed on top of her and entered with a forced that caused her to scream out his name. “Misha…I love you. Yes, yes I love you.” As her words echoed through the room it was tantamount to an out of body experience. Misha’s rhythm became fast and furious.

  “Release yourself to me Carolyn. Give yourself to me.” As he bound her hands she wiggled as she tried to get free. Carolyn wanted to wrap her arms around him; but he wouldn’t let her.

  “Tell me what you want Carolyn. Talk to me.” Misha was pushing Carolyn to reveal her feelings not only about him but what she desired of him. Carolyn knew one thing and only one thing and that is what her words conveyed.

  “I want you Misha. I want all of you.” With that said, he released her hands and they both entered a passionate realm of satisfying relief.

  The log cabin had cooled off due to the chilly night air but the body heat that had been produced by Misha and Carolyn caused them to lay on top of the thick quilts drenched in perspiration. As Carolyn lay wrapped in his arms she felt a need to clarify her words.

  “Misha, you know sometimes people say things in the heat of the moment and they don’t really mean it.”

  “Yes I know this. And sometimes people say things that they really want to conceal and it is the heat of the moment that causes those things to be revealed.”

  Smiling she said “Touché’.”

  “Carolyn, I hope you aren’t angry at me for asking you those questions.”

  “How could I be? I meant what I said. I do love you Misha and it was your insistence that caused me to realize that.” Misha closed his eyes as he released a sigh. He knew that from this point on their marriage would be about fine tuning the imperfections and navigating around the quirks and difficulties. They were truly a couple now and he vowed to do everything in his power to nurture their relationship and prove his love to Carolyn everyday.

  Chapter Seven

  Unexpected revelations

  Misha woke to find Carolyn quietly sleeping in his arms. After sharing the most intimate, unencumbered and sexually satisfying encounter with Carolyn, Misha felt a great need to reveal every building block of his life. Carolyn had shared so much of herself with him; in the bedroom and out. She had begun to peal back layer upon layer and unselfishly reveal her true self. He didn’t want to hide anything from her, yet he knew that there were some things he had no right to reveal. There were aspects of his life that until recently had eluded him as well. Gently moving Carolyn from his chest, he rested her head upon the king size goose feather filled pillow. As she released a heart warming sigh, he picked up the pile of clothing, that he had hurriedly deposited on the floor earlier that evening, and left the room. Dressing in the great room, Misha leaned against the wall as he put on his Chochorua Trail Timberland Hiking Boots. As he stepped outside onto the porch, the Canadian Arctic winds were making an early appearance this year. He welcomed the brisk cold air because it reminded him of his childhood in Russia. As he looked to the horizon, the sun had not begun to rise and he wondered what this new day would bring. When he suggested the cabin to Carolyn, he had every intention of seducing her with every trick that he had up his sleeve. He had no intentions of playing fair because he knew that they were a perfect match and he’d do whatever it took to convince her of the same. But the one thing he had not counted on was her sudden change of heart. Once Carolyn saw the futility in fighting her attraction towards Misha, she gave in hook, line and sinker. And it was this very thought that tugged at Misha’s heart. He believed that Carolyn guarded her heart like Fort Knox, yet this weekend she freely opened the doors and let him in. They had both lost so much as children, yet fate seemed to balance out the odds in their favor by granting educational opportunities and favors.

  Misha’s mind began to wander back to Russia as he recounted a conversation with his father.

  “I received this letter in the mail from the Charite University Hospital in Berlin. They want you to come and start your studies in medicine.” Yuri Petrov was a proud tall thick burly man. His wide steady gait with its characteristic limp, complements of the KBG, never was interpreted as a sign of weakness. Yuri had a strong will and everyone that knew him respected him for his courage and determination. Much of his life had been spent outdoors yet his ambitions for Misha leaned towards the academics. He had intercepted the letter and immediately recognized the content as being honorable, filled with opportunities for advancement.

  “Why can’t I stay here, I’ve never been to Germany before. My German isn’t that great and my English isn’t any better. How will I communicate with anyone?”

  “You will learn Misha. Now that things are changing in our countr
y it is time for you to make some changes as well. People are noticing you and I will not let you pass up this opportunity.”

  “How did they find out about me? There must be thousands of students that scored just as high on their exams as I did. Why aren’t they going to the Charite?”

  “Misha, there will be times in your life that you should not ask questions. You should just accept your fortune and make the best of it. This is one of those times. Don’t ask too many questions. Just accept this opportunity and become the best doctor humanly possible. You never know; this may lead to greater opportunities. You might end up in the United States.” Misha frowned as he recalled the endless coincidences, and circumstances that landed him in the United States. He had felt like a pawn in an elaborate game of espionage. He had never asked to participate but unbeknownst to him; his future had already been laid out. It had taken him weeks to accept the world he had become to know, but if it were not for the hard work, countless exams, and endless studying, Misha would have seen his entire career as an elaborate hoax.

  Carolyn woke finding herself alone in the bed. She looked out of the bedroom window and noticed that the dawn was approaching. Reaching for her thick velour red robe, she got out of bed and went in search of Misha. Slipping on a pair of thick socks Carolyn walked through the cold cabin. Their physical need was so great that night; Misha did not have the opportunity to light a fire to break the chill in the house. As she looked around Misha was nowhere to be found. Carolyn surmised that he probably went outside to check the generator, or on the porch to gather more wood. Peering through the front window, Carolyn saw what appeared to be a figure standing in the front of the cabin, near a large arborvitae. As she tried to adjust her eyes to the darkness, Carolyn watched as her brain tried to interpret what she was seeing. Suddenly the figure moved and Carolyn realized that it was a person. As she went to open the front door, the cold autumn air caused her to pull her robe up around her face as she reluctantly proceeded out the door. In a soft voice, just a pitch above a whisper she called out. “Misha.” The figure did not move. Carolyn paused as she began to reevaluate her situation. Looking around she saw darkness and trees masquerading as shadows. The highway was miles away and the nearest road was not a road by definition. The cabin had no telephone and her cellular phone had no bars. And to make matters worse, she didn’t know were Misha was or if he’d succumb to some horrible fate compliments of the dark figure standing next to the large evergreen. As Carolyn began to walk backwards towards the house, she wanted to keep the dark figure in her sights before she made a mad dash for the front door. Miscalculating her steps she fell backwards onto the porch, knocking over the large pile of logs that had been neatly piled on the porch. Struggling to get to her feet; as her robes belt lay entangled with the logs, Carolyn tried to return to the cabin, which had become her sanctum. Misha, hearing the commotion, turned and watched as Carolyn dueled and tangled with the logs on the front porch. Concerned that she’d injured herself, he ran in her direction, which only caused her fear to intensify. Carolyn screamed out in terror. “Misha!” As she continued to struggled to get free. As Misha neared the house he called out her name. “Carolyn, I'm coming.” Carolyn’s mind had gone into complete overdrive. She’d envisioned the absolute worse scenario, so she didn’t realized that when Misha replied, the voice came from the dark stranger. As Misha reached the porch he reached out to steady Carolyn; not seeing his face, she swung with all of her might, nearly missing his head and landing her on her derriere. “Carolyn are you all right? Here…give me your hand. Let me help you up.” Misha was completely taken by surprise due to the turn of events. He wanted to get her inside of the cabin so that he could check her for any cuts or bruises.

  “Didn’t you hear me when I called your name?”

  “No Carolyn…I’m so sorry. I was thinking. I didn’t hear you.”

  “What are you doing out here so early? It’s freezing. You don’t even have on a jacket.”

  “Carolyn we can talk about that later. Please let me get you inside. I want to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself?” Freeing Carolyn from her entanglement, Misha picked her up into his arms and carried her into the cabin. Laying her on the couch, he began to assess her legs and arms.

  “I thought you told me that you’re an anesthesiologist.”

  “I am…I’m fully capable of assessing you for injuries and taking care of them if I have to.” Misha examined every inch of her body and was surprised to find one two inch scratch on her left forearm. He surmised that this injury was the result of her Mike Tyson punch; as she fell to the ground bracing her fall on the logs. After Misha had cleaned and bandaged her cut from a first aid kit, which he’d found in the cabin, Carolyn went into the bathroom to clean up and change her clothes. When she returned the sun had began to peak over the horizon and Misha had prepared breakfast. Still frazzled by her morning adventure, Carolyn limped into the kitchen, still sore from her fall.

  “I found a few pain pills in the first aid box if you think you need them.” He smiles at her as he recalled the events of that morning.

  “No, I’ll live.” Carolyn stood in the kitchen; staring at Misha. He had not told her his reasoning for being outdoors and she was still puzzled by this behavior.

  “Why don’t you go sit in front of the fireplace. Breakfast is almost ready.”

  Carolyn tilted her head as she smiled; lingering in the kitchen for a few seconds more, then she turned and left the room. She knew that there was a time and a place for questions; and now was not the time. She’d get Misha to explain his peculiar behavior when she felt that the time was right.

  After eating breakfast, Misha cleared the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. Carolyn was amazed at how domesticated he was. Her hectic schedule didn’t afford her the time or luxury to maintain her own condo; so she hired a cleaning service to take care of the menial housekeeping chores Monday through Friday, in the morning after she’d leave to go to the office. With her new living arrangements, she knew that she’d have to notify her cleaning staff about Misha. With his on-call schedules, there may come a time when he wouldn’t want to be disturbed, due to his 24 hour over night shifts. As quickly as her mind allowed that question to surface, another abruptly followed. What if Misha wouldn’t want to give up his townhouse? Carolyn’s growing attraction towards Misha had led her to believe that her previous suggestions regarding their living arrangements would no longer be practical. Since that was now the case, Misha would have every right to suggest his place as their primary residence, leaving Carolyn with the task of managing or disposing of her condo. Carolyn had so many questions that would need immediate answers, and others that she simply would deal with as they surfaced. But her overriding concerns were presently focusing on Misha and his early morning jaunt.

  When Misha returned from the kitchen, he sat on the floor in front of the couch near Carolyn. She had remained on the couch, lying on her side, as instructed by Misha. Running her fingers through his hair she allowed her words to interrupt his thoughts, as he sat silently gazing into the fire.

  “Penny for your thoughts.”

  Misha smiled as he continued to lay his gaze upon the fire.

  “Just thinking about how happy I am and I don’t want anything to change.”

  “Why would you think something is going to change?”

  “Things have a way of happening.”

  “Are you speaking in general or do you have something specific in mind?” Carolyn was quickly concluding that Misha’s current thoughts had something to do with his early morning stroll. She wasn’t sure if he’d reveal all to her but she also knew that whatever had him stymied also had him concerned enough to believe its affects could jeopardize their current status. Misha remained quiet as he pondered how best to answer Carolyn. Growing up in Russian had taught him one valuable lesson; speak when spoken to and don’t offer extraneous information. He’d never questioned this golden rule whilst growing up in Russia but after the fall of communis
m and his new life in Germany, Misha quickly became repulsed by any forms of deception or repressed disclosures. He didn’t like keeping secrets; and the fact that he’d been asked to participate by withholding an important revelation, had him questioning his values and moral principles.

  “Misha is there something that you want to tell me?” Carolyn could see him struggling with his conscience. Misha wanted to do the right thing but he was having great difficulty as his mind battled with his circumstance. Carolyn’s misgivings regarding his silence caused her to be bold and direct with her line of questioning. As her fingers played with the curls in his hair, her words, stouthearted in tone, slew his thoughts.

  “Misha why were you outside this morning staring into the distance? Don’t tell me that you were just enjoying the view, because unless you just like darkness, there was no view to enjoy. I also won’t fall for the line I just wanted to be alone; because after the past few nights you lead me to believe that that’s the last thing on your mind. I know that something’s is bothering you and I believe it has something to do with us. Are you suddenly having regrets about our marriage?”