by Combs, Sasha
Brian Masterson’s. And you are in my office crying because…” She paused as she looked at Estelle inquisitively. To the outside observer, Estelle’s whole situation reeked of absurdity, but Carolyn knew that it wasn’t. They’d both entered the world of Alexandra Ivan; and in her world the impossible became possible. She didn’t mean to be uncaring towards Estelle, but she did want to convey the uniqueness of the situation. The tears, now completely unabated, streamed from Estelle’s eyes, as she dwindled even further into the leather chair. Carolyn knew that the time for reason had come.
“Estelle, I know you are feeling a little overwhelmed right now; but you shouldn’t see this as wholly bad. I do believe that your emotions are largely fueled by the hormones that were in your fertility injection and once you do get pregnant and your hormones level out, I’m sure you’ll feel much differently about this whole ordeal. Just remember that this is something that you and Brian both want. And once you’re staring down into your baby’s eyes, you’ll know that every tear you shed, and every pound you gain made it all worth while.” Estelle laugh as she sniffled and dried her tear stained face.
“Thank you Carolyn. I’m so glad I have you to talk to. Especially since you’ve married Misha. I know you understand my situation.” Carolyn smiled at her friend as she thought to herself; yeah we belong to the sisterhood of Alexandra Ivan.
Carolyn let Estelle leave early that day. Between the tears and laughter, Estelle was one large ball of emotional dichotomy. She couldn’t imagine what nine months of pregnancy would be like working with her and she knew that once she started a family, she’d probably want to resign her position with the law firm. Carolyn didn’t know if she was prepared to deal with all of the inevitable changes that were to come but she surmised that she was a survivor and she’d muddle through as best as she could.
As Carolyn began to clear her desk, satisfied that she’d done as much as she could do for the day; she placed a few files in her attaché case then slipped on her burgundy leather pumps. As she began to turn off the lights in her office, her cellular phone rang. It was Misha.
“Hey honey, I was just turning off the lights and locking up. Are you at home?”
“Yes, I got in about an hour ago. I was worried when you still had not gotten home.”
“I didn’t intend on staying so late. I sent Estelle home early today, so I had to carry her work load as well as my own.”
“I spoke to Alexandra today.” Carolyn’s forehead wrinkled as she lifted one eyebrow, hands and feet busy, as she continued to scurry around the office; gathering her belongings as she turned off computers and lights. She’d tried calling Alex earlier that morning when she first arrived at the office with no response.
“Is she okay? I tried calling her earlier today.”
“She wants to come by the condo this evening.”
“That’s fine. I’ll be home in about half an hour. Why don’t you call her and tell her to meet me there.”
“That’s fine.” Carolyn detected a note of apprehension in Misha’s voice. “It is okay that Alexandra comes to the house tonight isn’t it Misha?”
“Yes. I don’t have a problem with that. It’s just that…” Misha suddenly got quiet. The hospitals surgical schedule had been typically busy for a Monday, and he’d not gotten a chance to talk to Alexandra in length. He didn’t know how she planned on explaining things to Carolyn and more importantly he didn’t know how her trip to Russia had been.
“Misha, is everything alright between you and Alexandra?”
“Carolyn, I’ll talk with you when you get home. Don’t worry about bringing food. I already took care of that.” Carolyn was happy that Misha had the foresight to provide food for them and their guest but her joy was downplayed by his obvious attempts to evade her questions regarding him and Alexandra.
“Misha we can invite Alexandra over another time if tonight isn’t a good time. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable regarding her and our friendship.”
“Carolyn, I don’t have a problem with Alexandra. As a matter of fact I’m looking forward to seeing her. It’s been over a week since we last saw each other and I’d like to know how she’s been. So please don’t worry yourself. Just be careful and hurry home.” His voice sounded contrite yet calmer…more like himself. Carolyn put on her coat and locked the door; entering the security code to arm the alarm systems, she walked to her car and settled in.
“I’m safely in my car and I’ll be home soon.”
“I’ll be looking out for you Carolyn. I love you.” Each time she heard him say I love you, it never sounded like a fleeting thought. Misha meant it; it was as if all of his feelings and emotions converged on each other to convey one single point; he was in love.
Carolyn pulled her silver grey SLK Mercedes Benz into her Birmingham Condo driveway; the garage door began to rise simultaneously as her eyes spotted Alexandra’s long black CTS Cadillac parked on the street in front of her house. Misha stood at the back door smiling; as Carolyn pulled her car into the garage and parked. He opened the driver’s side door and offered her his hand. Gently pulling her out of the vehicle; she stood in front of him. Snaking his arms around her waist, he lovingly pulled her into his body. As his eyes gazed upon her beauty and her aroma filled his nostrils; he lowered his head and his mouth hungrily grabbed her lips. As his kiss intensified, her body began to respond, as her tongue dueled and twirled with his. His hands roamed her body as his fingers pointlessly sought after her flesh. With his manhood swollen and his fingers annoyed; Misha reluctantly released her from his embrace. Carolyn hearts pumped rapidly as she wrestled with her lungs to deliver much needed breathes. Looking up into his eyes, she spoke.
“You can plan on me coming home late every night if this is the kind of greeting I’ll get.” Misha smiled as he placed a soft petal kiss on her cheek. When she’d arrived he wanted desperately to take her right to their bed; but with guest waiting in their living room he’d have to settle for a quick show of affection. When her kiss reciprocated his; every cell in his body sensed the overwhelming joy that welled up in his heart because her actions were better than the spoken words I love you.
“Alexandra’s here.”
“Yes, I know. I saw her car parked out front. Has she been here long?” Misha reached into her car and removed her attaché case and her purse. Clutching the attaché under his arm and handing her the purse, they walked into the house holding hands.
“Not long. I gave her a cocktail.”
“Cocktail? Alex doesn’t drink.” Eyebrows furrowed and forehead wrinkled; Carolyn looked at Misha with a puzzled look, as she folded her arms and leaded against the island in her kitchen.
“Okay Misha, I’ve been patient enough. It’s time for you to fess up. What’s going on between you and Alexandra?”
Misha knew that Carolyn had growing suspicions regarding him and Alexandra. He’d not been forthcoming regarding the true nature of their relationship due to Alexandra’s wishes; but he’d also not completely refrained from revealing partial pieces to the puzzle. Misha stepped towards Carolyn, closing the distance that separated them, unfolded her arms and wrapped them around his waist. Embracing her, he nuzzled his nose into her hair as the fruity aroma of her shampoo soothed his tangled nerves. As his fingers released the hair pins that bound her long hair in her trade mark French twist, he began to speak.
“Carolyn, Alexandra and I have a history that spans back further than when I first arrived in this country nearly 9 months ago.”
“I figured that much Misha. Did you two meet in Germany?”
“Yes; I first met Alexandra at a U.S. Hospital Base in Germany. It was just after I had accepted the position at Beaumont Hospital here in the United States. A friend of mines, General K.C. West, invited me to the base hospital for a farewell party. I had made a lot of friends there and we were exchanging contact information so that when they returned to the States we could reconnect and catch up on each others lives.” Misha continued to f
inger comb Carolyn’s hair as he recounted his story.
“As the party was rapping up, the General pulled me aside and told me that someone from the States had flown in special today to meet me. It was Alexandra. We went to his office to talk. I thought that she was someone from the hospital or perhaps a representative of a rival hospital from the States wanting to put their bid in for my services. Alexandra was very blunt and to the point. Once we were alone she introduced herself as Alexandra Ivanova; estranged wife of Yuri Petrov and absentee mother of Misha Petrov.”
Carolyn pushed Misha back as she widened the distance between them. Her eyes were saucer size; as she explored Misha’s face for clarity. She looked down at the floor as her mind began to replay his word. Her thought’s whirled his mother…he said Alexandra is his mother. Carolyn struggled to find the tiniest bit of reason; as Misha stood helplessly watching unable to justify his decision to withhold this important disclosure.
“Why didn’t you tell me Misha? What did you think…I wouldn’t be able to handle the fact that the woman that put us together is your mother?”
‘No Carolyn…I just…” Interrupting him, before he could finish his thought… “Because if you thought I’d have difficulty dealing with this situation, you damn well would have been right.” Body clenched, and steps determined, Carolyn walked towards the doorway to find Alexandra. Misha, anticipating her move, reached the doorway before her and blocked the exit.
“Move out of my way Misha.” Carolyn was beyond angry. She had embraced her situation, even though it had been forced upon her. But now elements were surfacing that added a hue that didn’t quite settled well with her. The fact that Misha and Alexandra schemed to get her to marry him, infuriated her; and to what end. As Carolyn lifted her hand, she tried to forcibly move Misha from the doorway, it was tantamount to pushing on a solid wall; he didn’t budge. Misha reached out to Carolyn, but she stepped back, folded her arms and peered through narrow eyes at him as her posture resembled an angry bull.
“Carolyn would you please listen. You never allowed me to finish.”
“I don’t care to hear any more Misha. I can’t trust you. How do I know where lies end and the truth begins.”
“I never lied to you Carolyn.”
“What would you call it Misha? Please don’t say you don’t know the English word’s for by the way. Alexandra is my mother.”
Fuming she belted out “How could you Misha? I trusted you. I allowed myself to fall in love with you. Why didn’t you just tell me in the very beginning?”
“Because I told him not to darling.” The unmistakable voice, with its rich Russian accent, came from behind Misha. As Misha moved aside, Alexandra squeezed in between him and the door frame to enter the room. Alexandra’s eyes were swollen, red and puffy. She had noticeably been crying and Carolyn knew why. As she stared at Alexandra, Carolyn’s facial expressions spoke louder than words, why…how could you, I trusted you…I love you. Each time Carolyn tried to speak her words were muffled by her thoughts, as her mind replayed Alexandra‘s words; word’s that she’d heard countless number of times; you’re like a daughter to me. Alexandra knew her friend all to well and as her body began to fold in on itself, she stepped forward and embraced Carolyn within her arms before she imploded. Alexandra had been a mother to Carolyn, so she wasn’t surprised when Carolyn allowed her to come nearer and embrace her. Carolyn needed someone to hold her because her life long struggle with issues surrounding trust and acceptance were a continuous battle. And the thought that she’d been betrayed or worst forced on Alexandra’s son because no other man would accept her; more than daunted her pride, it laid waste to her very being.
As Alexandra comforted Carolyn, she began to tearfully speak. “Carolyn, please don’t be angry at Misha. He wanted to tell you the moment he found out how close we are. I told him not to tell you until I had a chance to right the wrongs that have happened in my life.”
Carolyn’s sniffing allowed her nearly unrecognizable words to spill from her mouth. “How long has he known Alex?”
Alexandra knew Carolyn very well. They’d been friends for over seven years and Carolyn had shared every deep dark secret, every hang up and all of her fears. She knew that the one thing Carolyn wanted more than anything was to be accepted and loved. She knew that if Carolyn found out that Misha was her son, she’d interpret the match as a mercy match. Alex wanted their relationship to merge first before his identity was revealed. She had no doubts that they were meant for each other but she needed the natural course of merging and melding to take place first, before the truth could be revealed.
“Misha didn’t find out about our relationship until after he’d already signed your marriage contract. He wanted to tell you the first night he met you but I encouraged him not to. I knew that if you found out to soon, your little mind would betray you and you would not have given your relationship a chance.” Carolyn felt a warm presence behind her as a hand began rubbing and caressing her back. Misha’s body ached and he wanted to take her into his arms.
“Carolyn you must forgive Misha. He is as much a victim in all of this as you are. From the moment I first met Misha, I knew that he was your life mate. I never shared that with him or you. I just encouraged him to let me find his wife. When he agreed, the next step was convincing you to let me find your Mr. Right. General West and I have been friends for many years. He helped me convince Misha to come to the States, after he found out that I was his mother.”
“Who is this General West and what does he have to do with Misha?”
“He wasn’t a General when I first met him. He was a friend of Misha’s father, Nicholas. He promised me that if he could ever help when it came to Misha, he’d do whatever he could, because Nick was one of his best friends.” The strain in Alexandra’s voice was evident when she said the name Nicholas. His memory still tugged at her heart.
“You see Carolyn…Misha didn’t know about us…he signed the marriage contract because West had told him about the many people that I’ve helped over the years. But after he signed the contract, he had doubts just like you.”
“What do you mean Alex?” Searching her friends face for clues and finding none, she impatiently waited for her to reply.
“Misha thought that I was trying to make up for not being in his life as a mother. So he believed that I matched my best and most loved friend to make up for my many years of absence. That wasn’t wholly true. I matched you two because I just knew that you both were right for each other.” Realizing that Misha’s thoughts mirrored her own in this situation; Carolyn turned around to look at him. His sorrowful face panged at her heart; as his endearing masculine features drew her nearer to him. Resting her hands on his chest, she surveys his face as she prepared herself to cross exam him.
“Our weekend…” She paused as she steadied herself for her questions and his answers. “Did it really mean something to you? All of the things we shared…everything that we said…did it really mean something to you…did you mean everything that you said?” Tears began to gather in her eyes as her lower lip trembled and her hands involuntarily shivered as they rested on his chest. Misha looked down onto Carolyn’s face. His mind replayed every moment they’d spent together. His body whirled as he recalled their days and nights at the cabin. He tingled as his fingers recalled the touch of her. His nostrils flared as he reminisced about her aroma. His mouth savored and his mind lingered as he recollected the taste of her. Wrapping one arm around her waist and tilting her chin up; leaning in he whispered across her lips … “I love you, but it appears that I still have some convincing to do.” As he explored her hazel eyes, he watched as her countenance softened and her body began to relax in his arms. Lowering his head he gently placed a soft deep sensuous kiss upon her lips. Tilting his head to the side and planting a sexy half smile on his face, he spoke.
“Why don’t we go to the living room and finish talking in there. Alexandra has a lot to share with us regarding her trip to Russia.” Caro
lyn leaned into his body and rested her head on his chest. Misha looked over her head as Alexandra stood embracing herself, openly expressing her delight as her two most favorite people in the world demonstrated her most coveted emotion; love.
Chapter Eleven
The calm after the storm
Carolyn and Alexandra sat in the living room, enjoying mint herbal tea, as they basked near the serene flames emitted from the natural gas fire place. After calmly, clearly and succinctly stating her case, Alexandra weaved a tale filled with spies, espionage, covert missions, mistaken identifies and sorrowful regrets. By the time she’d finished regaling her tale, Carolyn was in no position to place blame or site any wrongs. She forgave Misha for withholding information as she digested the complicated summation of Alexandra’s life.
Due to a nine car pile up on the I-75 Interstate, Misha had been called into the hospital to assist with pain management and surgical procedures; leaving Carolyn and Alexandra alone to talk openly; unabashed due to Misha’s absence.
“Alexandra, we’ve know each other for over seven years; why didn’t you ever tell me about this side of your life?”
“I couldn’t darling. I was silenced by the government.” She said as she sipped from her tea cup; settling on the chase lounge.
“I agreed to remain silent, as long as they would promise to grant Misha citizenship, because his father was an American. We all knew that communism would eventually fall; and when it did I wanted Misha to have better choices and opportunities for his life. That was the reason for my silence.” Alexandra calmly stated her reasoning. But Carolyn knew better; leaving Misha in Russia to be raised by Yuri had been the most difficult decision in Alexandra’s life.
“Alex, what happened to Misha’s father?” Alex focused her gaze on the golden yellow flames, as her attention waned. Her lower jaw tensed, as the muscles in her face became prominent and strained. Carolyn didn’t need an answer. She surmised by her posture that Nicholas did not survive his injury, and Alexandra saw this as one of the many regrets from that period in her life.
