by McAdams, Mia
He leans into me so his nose is just inches from mine. “And you don’t get to walk away from me and show up three days later, acting as if you didn’t completely fucking ruin me.”
A tear slips out, and I can’t help it; I throw my arms around his waist and meet his fierce gaze with a soft, fearful one of my own. “You know I didn’t have a choice, but I am sorry for the way I left. You need to trust me. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than where you are.”
He glares down at me. “Does that mean you’re ready to talk? Tell me what the big secret is, Lyric. What’s worth more to you than us?”
I’m lost for words. Nothing, is the simple answer. Nothing is worth more than being with Wolf. Do I want to tell him everything? Yes. Am I ready to reveal my every insecurity and resentment toward my parents so he can understand the effect they’ve had on my life? Yes, I think so. “I’ll tell you everything. Just . . . give me—”
“What, Lyric? Give you more time?”
“Yes!”
With a shake of his head he opens the door again. “We’ll talk later. We’ve both got work to do. Until you’re ready, I think that’s all this should be. Work.”
Stunned into silence, I release my grip from his waist and move through the door. “Sure,” I answer him without turning around. I won’t let him see the pain I feel. “Business as usual. I can do that.”
Wolf
Why am I the one standing here, feeling like the biggest dick, when I’m just protecting my heart? Lyric is long gone, and I’m still standing half in the hallway, half in my room. Wanting to go after her but making myself wait for her to come around. We can’t just jump back into what we were before. Things have changed. If we’re going to do this, we need to trust each other.
Maybe I shouldn’t have let her fuck my brains out, but I needed it just as much as she did. And I still love her. I may not have said those words, but if she was paying any attention at all, my mouth, my hands, my eyes—they all spoke to her. I didn’t expect her to go all out on me, though. Lyric has always been a rock star in the sack. She loves the control. But I’ve never seen her like that. Unbridled. Ravenous. Completely lost in the feel of me. I loved every second of it, and just thinking about this morning will make it difficult for me to stay away from her. But I need to try.
I can’t just give into her. How do I know she won’t pull that shit again and leave? I don’t. Not until she knows she can trust me with whatever she keeps hidden. So that’s what needs to happen. We’ll work on trusting each other. I’ll be here, waiting. She’s worth the wait. And when she’s ready, we can make this thing really work because there’s no denying what we have is incredible.
“Wolf, hurry your lazy ass up, man. We’ve got sound check in five minutes, and Crawley’s got not one, but a few sticks up his ass today.”
Derrick’s on his phone in the lobby. I can see him as I walk down the stairs. I hang up on my end of the line and chuckle as I watch him get pissed, thinking I’m ignoring him. We make eye contact, and he glares at me.
I roll my eyes, following him through the sliding glass door of the hotel. “When does he not have a stick up his ass?”
“Hey, sugar.” Derrick is distracted by a smiling Terese just outside the doors. He swoops in and kisses her before letting her catch a ride on his back for the rest of the walk to our waiting van. He turns back to me. “I think Lyric’s got Crawley all riled up. She’s already making arrangements for Europe and emailed him some stuff, but he’s giving her shit. And you know her. She’s not taking it.”
Terese giggles. “Lyric’s a badass. When’s Crawley going to learn not to mess with her.”
I smirk, agreeing with Terese. “I’ve got plans for that douchebag. Don’t let him get to you. Where’s Lyric?”
“I’m covering for her,” Doug replies as he comes up behind me.
“What? Why?” I’m surprised by my anger, and it takes me a second to realize I’m angry because I was looking forward to seeing her. “She just got back on tour and she’s already bailing?”
Doug chuckles and holds the van door open for me. He eyes Crawley and then leans in. “Dickhead over there has her working on some things for Europe. They went at it this morning in the lobby, so I figured I’d help keep them apart since it’s my last day anyway.”
I nod. “Fine. Tell me about it later. I’d like to know what he’s got her doing.”
“Sure thing.”
We spend less than an hour at our sound check. Everyone’s hungover from the night before and starving, so we grab a bite to eat the moment we’re back at the hotel. We’re all crowded into four tables pulled together near the back of the restaurant, acting loud and boisterous as always. That’s when Lyric walks in, and all eyes turn to her.
She smiles and pulls out the only remaining chair left on the other side of the table. I shift, feeling the anger from earlier bubble up within me. Not because she’s in the room. If this were a week ago, there would be no question whom Lyric was going to sit next to.
Hedge, who’s chugging down a mimosa next to me, must notice my discomfort. He stands. “Switch with me, Lyric. I need to talk to Stryder.”
Lyric looks from me to Hedge and then comes around the table without arguing. There was obviously hesitation there, but she’s acting like a professional. It doesn’t matter. Everyone’s witness to our tension, probably wondering what happened after our fight last night.
She sits down beside me and immediately turns toward Terese, who is now on her other side. They giggle about something, and then Lyric’s phone starts vibrating. At this point, I’m the only one paying attention to Lyric besides Terese. Everyone else has gone back to their loud chatter. But I can’t stop looking at her.
Her phone vibrates again, and she glances at it. Destiny’s name is lit up on her screen, but the message is hidden. Lyric ignores it and turns back to Terese.
Interesting. I wonder what’s going on there. When it goes off again, I lean in casually to ask Lyric about it, but she swipes it from the table and shoves it in her pocket. I frown. More secrets.
Lunch is awkward. Lyric and I don’t speak at all, and when lunch is over, she’s the first one to get up and head back to her room. In typical Lyric and Wolf fashion, I follow her to the elevator. There are a few crew members lining up beside them, but I gesture to them to take another elevator, pulling the dick card, full and visible. I’ll apologize later. When the doors close, we’re alone, and I breathe a sigh of relief.
“Is this a coincidence or are you following me?”
I look at her, wondering if she’s flirting or angry. Definitely angry. “Following you.”
She turns to face me. “Why?”
I turn toward her. “Because I wonder why Destiny’s been blowing up your phone and you aren’t responding to her.”
Lyric narrows her eyes and a flush spreads on her cheeks. “I . . . I don’t know. She wants something from me, so I’m ignoring her.”
“What does she want from you?”
This is it. The moment of truth. Lyric is either about to change the subject or divulge something she’d rather keep hidden. When she takes a deep breath and releases it slowly, I know she’s about to let me in.
“My mom wants me to work with her. To write for her. Her label is rebranding her image, and they need fresh songs. She thinks I can help, but I don’t want to. So I’m avoiding her.”
I know better than to take Lyric’s explanation as the entire story. What she says doesn’t sound so bad, but there’s anger behind her calm exterior. “Well, I’m sure your mom will get her songs elsewhere. Or maybe she can write her own. She is Destiny Lane. She’ll figure it out.”
Lyric snorts. I’m surprised to hear the sound come from her. My look of shock doesn’t get past her. She laughs hard at my reaction and wipes a tear from her eye. “Destiny’s sure resourceful, but not in the way you would imagine. She’s not the most ethical person when it comes to getting what
she wants.”
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
The ding of the elevator brings us to our floor, and I step back to let her out first. Like always, a feeling of yearning tugs at me, and I want to pull Lyric into my room and make love to her. We had our sexcapades down pat before she left. Every moment we could steal to be alone we were rolling around naked together. I miss it. Even after our best-ever sex this morning, I want her.
She must read my mind because she smiles when we reach her door. “This is me,” she says with none of the enthusiasm she just showed. “I’ll see you tonight, Wolf.”
She inserts her key card into the slot, and a dull ache hits my chest as she pushes open the door and steps inside her room.
“Lyric,” I call, not wanting her to leave.
She swivels around, her eyes lighting up with hope.
“Thank you for telling me that.”
She smiles now, and this time it reaches her eyes. “It’s not easy, you know. I’ve kept it all locked up for as long as I can remember. Just give me time, Wolf. It’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s just . . . there’s a lot of shit I need to let go of and don’t know how.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
As her door shuts behind her, I know nothing will keep me from forgiving Lyric . . . when she’s ready.
Lyric
I’m exhausted by the time the show ends and Wolf is escorted from the stage to his dressing room. The band still has a meet and greet with select fans, and then we head to the airport to catch the private plane that will take us to Miami. The guys have to be in the recording studio tomorrow afternoon, so delaying our flight isn’t an option.
I groan as I make my way to the bus. Terese catches up to me and slings an arm around my shoulders. “Ready for Florida, sexy?”
I smile at her, loving that she’ll be in Florida with us, even though she is constantly sucking face with Derrick. “I guess.” Then I frown. “I wish I was more excited, but with things so awkward between Wolf and me, I’m just not sure. I have a hotel booked, but now that even seems weird.”
Terese gives me a sympathetic expression and links my arm with hers. “You and Wolf will be okay. He’s looking for something you’re not ready to give, but you’ll get there. He’s crazy about you, Lyric. And no arguments, you’re staying in that house with us. Don’t leave me stranded.”
I want to laugh and keep the conversation light, but my heart has been so heavy since I left Wolf’s room this morning. Even after our short talk this afternoon, not being with him feels wrong. And I’m afraid that every second we’re apart only widens the divide between us.
“C’mon, let’s get our bags transferred. I can’t wait to pass out on the plane.”
Terese groans. “Me, too. But I think Derrick has other ideas in mind. That boy is constantly trying to get in my pants.”
I can’t hold back my laughter. “You two are ridiculously cute. It kind of makes me jealous. Wolf and I need to get back together fast. I miss him.”
“Then get over your shit and talk to him about whatever’s bothering you. You know you can trust him.”
“I know I can. I’m telling him everything.”
“Good.” She smiles. “And then maybe you’ll tell me.” She winks and then tugs on my arm. “C’mon, let’s go get our bags.”
Once our bags are loaded into the van, we wait for the boys to finish up with the signing. It occurs to me that when I left for San Diego a few days ago, I was in such a rush I didn’t grab my things from Wolf’s room. I should probably grab everything now before we take off.
As I walk toward Bus #1, I’m surprised to see Rex standing near the entrance of the bus in a heated exchange with Rory, the band’s bus driver. They don’t look like they’re fighting, just talking, but I’ve never seen Rex so angry. He’s a huge guy, capable of taking down an entire football team if given the opportunity, but he never shows anger. He just looks threatening.
A voice catches my attention, and I turn to see Derrick approaching Terese, a wide smile on his face.
“The signing’s over?” I call out to him. “Where’s Wolf?”
He’s already pulling Terese in for a kiss, but he stops to respond. “Said he had to grab his shit from the bus.”
That’s all I get before he devours Terese’s mouth. My stomach rolls, and I’m not sure why. As I look back at the bus, it hits me that Wolf must already be inside.
I rush the last few steps and reach for the door. I jump when Rex and Rory practically lunge for me to stop me. That only makes me climb the steps faster, my heart pounding like crazy in my chest.
What the fuck is going on?
I stalk to the back of the bus. Behind me, the voices screaming for me to stop are barely audible. Then I’m at Wolf’s door. It’s closed, but that’s not unusual. That’s not what makes my stomach churn to the point I think I might lose my lunch all over the floor.
It’s the moaning. The moaning is loud. The screaming is louder. There’s even a female voice pleading to “Fuck me harder” in there somewhere.
I completely lose my shit. I’m beating on the door without trying to open it, and my shouting is filled with incoherent strings of curse words. I don’t actually want to see what’s on the other side. I just I want him to hear me. To know that I’m here. That I can hear him.
As I’m being dragged away from Wolf’s door by a strong pair of arms—probably Rex—my words are clearer. “What the fuck are you doing?” I scream the question over and over while the tears flow. My heart feels as if it’s been stabbed while still inside my chest.
The arms keeping me from thrashing all over the place are too strong. I need to thrash. I need to get my hands on Wolf and rip his heart out of his chest the way he just did to mine. “What is he doing?” I’m not asking Wolf the questions anymore. He can’t hear me where he’s at. I’m on asphalt when whoever was holding me finally lets me go. I swivel to find Rex staring down at me sympathetically. It looks like he’s about to speak when a voice from behind me cuts him off.
“Lyric.” The voice doesn’t belong to anyone I’d expect. It sounds like Wolf, but that must be my imagination. Wolf is fucking some rocker slut in his room. The sobs come harder, and I fall to the ground, completely drained.
Arms lift me and wrap around me. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
Baby? I look up, but I’m blinded by tears. The man with the familiar voice wipes them away, and he must be a mirage. Wolf stands before me, concern etched into every line on his face. He pushes my hair away from my face and over my ears. “What the fuck happened?”
He grips my face with his palms, pleading for me to speak, but I’m still reeling from seeing him standing here. “It wasn’t you?”
“Who? What are you talking about?”
I take a shaky breath and look up at the bus. “In your room. Where were you?”
“I was backstage with some VIPs. They were congratulating me on the tour and wanted to have a drink before we took off. Why did you think I was in my room?”
I pull away from him long enough to wipe my eyes and stare back up at the bus. Then I turn to Rory and Rex, still shaking and confused. “Who’s on the bus?”
The men look at each other as if they don’t know if they should answer my question, and Wolf gets pissed.
“Answer her question. Who the fuck is on the bus?”
Just then, the door to the bus opens, and out stumbles the older version of me I’ve grown to hate. Crawley’s behind her, zipping up his jeans. Both look wasted and are cackling with laughter as if sharing an inside joke. Destiny looks complete strung out. I’ve seen that look in her eyes before as she snorted lines right in front of me. Coke was always her weakness, but I thought rehab fixed her the last time. It’s been years since I’ve heard any rumors of her addiction resurfacing, but here it is, in the flesh.
My eyes are fixed on Destiny’s bugged-out eyes, her swaying body flying high. A
loud thud catches my attention. Wolf has Crawley by the collar and against the bus in seconds. “What the fuck are you doing, you shit stick? Were you just fucking her in my room?” He slams him into the bus once more.
Crawley already has blood running down his face, but he’s laughing through it all.
“You piece of shit.” Wolf looks over at Destiny in Rex’s arms. She looks like she’s about to topple over without him. “Is that Destiny?” Wolf doesn’t wait for a response before his fist slams into Crawley’s face, and I can hear the crunch before blood sprays from his nose.
Oh my God. I run to Wolf, but someone yanks me away. I can’t see who it is, so I shout, “Let him go, Wolf. He’s not worth it.”
I’m not sure if he hears me or if he knows he’s done enough damage to the old prick, but Wolf slams a dazed Crawley into the bus again and then throws him onto the ground before coming to my side. “You’re fired, asshole. We’ll mail you your shit.”
“What is that dick doing with your mother?” he shouts, but I know his anger isn’t directed at me. Not this time.
I shake my head, overcome with embarrassment. I’m just as bewildered as Wolf is. He looks around and must find who he’s looking for because he takes off, approaching Doug and security. The next thing I know, Destiny and Crawley are being hauled away from the scene into a private car. There’s no time to think about what’s going to happen next. I don’t even have a chance to say a word to my mother, not that she’d be aware of the conversation, before the car is pulling away.
Wolf wraps his arms around me and leans toward my ear. “I’ve been waiting to fire his ass. It’s done.” I can feel his body shaking, probably still surging with adrenaline. It reminds me of sex after his shows. How amped up he’d get. How ready he was to fill me with every ounce of his need. But I know this isn’t that kind of energy.
“You don’t know what your mother was doing here with Crawley?”
