“If you’re offering sex after lunch I won’t turn you down, but only because I want to get to know you better, want to get closer to you. I don’t intend to walk out of your life, Harmony. I can find a way to make money no matter where I live, and I’m sure you’ve verified I broke all ties with the Chattanooga RTMC. For now, I’m officially part of the Atlanta chapter, but Bud will give me nomad status, should I want to move so far away he can’t keep claiming me as one of his.”
I shook my head again. “You’re jumping to a lot of conclusions and taking too much for granted, Brain. We aren’t an item, and you aren’t moving to another city with me.”
He gave me a cocky grin. “Free country. I can move pretty much wherever I want.”
“Good to know. I’ll make sure I end up in a city where RTMC rivals are in control. It would be a shame for someone to tip them off a nomad, or an ex-Rolling Thunder member was living in their city.”
His eyes narrowed. “Don’t take well to threats, Ice, but I’ll handle whatever you throw at me.”
“Even if I fuck every one of ‘em?”
His eyes went dark, my stomach jumped into my chest, and I took a few steps back, forcing myself not to run in terror. “This meeting’s over. I’m not hungry.”
“I’m sorry, Ice. Sorry. You aren’t mine and… damn, I’m fucking this up.” He put his hands in his pockets, lifted his shoulders towards his ears. “How about Chinese? It’s just across the street, and it’s pretty good.” He let his shoulders down, but still looked tense, his hands still in his pockets as if he were trying not to look threatening.
“Don’t call me Ice.”
“What should I call you?” His voice soft, his eyes wary, but probing.
I’d always felt as if he knew more about what I was thinking and feeling than he should, and today was no different.
“I’m not ready to be Harmony yet.” I shook my head. “I don’t know what to tell you to call me. I’d settled on Destiny before I met you, but then I had to give up all of the ID’s I’d been using, to get you off my tail, and…” Shit, I wasn’t going to get fucking emotional in front of Brain. Once again, when confronted with sadness, I drew upon my inner anger. I remembered Brain with the needle, giving me a shot, knocking me out so he could take me to the cabin… and then Duke giving me a shot. Remembered waking up in the cell, naked, with Gonzo watching me. And remembered having to shit in the floor.
Brain turned and walked ten feet to the steps surrounding the fountain, and sat on the second one. I could see despair in his eyes, and for the first time, I believed he had true feelings for me.
I’m not sure exactly what I’d thought before… stupid stalkerish behavior, or the fact I’d walked away and told him no when he wasn’t likely used to women refusing him, or maybe guilt induced feelings because he hadn’t been able to look after me when he’d captured me.
I hadn’t expected to see real feelings, though. I walked closer but still stopped about six feet away. He’d have to stand up and step towards me to touch me.
With him sitting, we were closer to eye level, and this was easier, not having to look so far up to have a conversation.
“I don’t know what to do with you,” I told him.
“Start by having lunch with me?”
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “Fine. Chinese is okay. Get your ass up and c’mon.”
He walked beside me, and I saw his arm move towards me twice, as if to touch me, or make sure I was safe as I walked across the street, but he dropped it and didn’t.
We were seated almost immediately, even though there was a lobby full of people waiting. They put us at a cozy little table for two, with a half-divider so we had some privacy from the rest of the room.
“Did they put us here so we don’t scare the other patrons, or did you pay them for privacy?” With Brain in his RTMC vest, and me in my shit-kicker boots and fatigues, people had given us plenty of room on the sidewalk.
He ignored my question and said, “Thanks for agreeing to lunch. Have you been to the Georgia Aquarium? I’d love to take you, whether you’ve already been or not.”
I wasn’t about to agree to more than lunch. “I thought you and Duke were best friends. You aren’t talking to him at all?”
He shook his head. “Haven’t seen him in months. Haven’t talked to anyone from the Chattanooga chapter.” He seemed to remember something, and added, “Well, except for Duke’s wife. She emails me, checks in on me to be sure I’m okay. I don’t have a beef with her, and she’s nice.” He shook his head. “Not the kind of woman you’d expect Duke to end up with, but they work together. Anyway, she doesn’t talk about Duke or the club too much, mostly tells me what’s going on in her life apart from Duke — work and family stuff. I don’t tell her anything I don’t want Duke knowing, but it’s nice to keep in touch with her.”
“You like her. I mean, as a person. You like and respect her.”
He nodded. “Yeah. She’s strong, and doesn’t take shit from Duke. She’s exactly what and who he needs in his life, but it’s a two way street. He’s good for her, too.” He shook his head again, his eyes sad as he told me, “If I don’t think I can be good for you, I’ll walk away.”
“You have to know bringing someone from the past into my new future puts me at risk.”
He lowered his voice. “They aren’t going to place the cute little Harmony who’s dating an Atlanta RTMC member as the old, male, Ice. And for those who knew you were female? There’s still no reason for them to put it together you’re the girl dating the biker.”
When I didn’t respond, he said, “I’m serious, Buttercup. I want you in my life, but only if we’re good for each other. If I can’t make you as happy as Duke makes Gen, I’ll bow out… though, not right away. You have to give me a chance. They weren’t happy right off the bat, either. Took Gen a while to get used to Duke, and took him a while to trust she could handle all of him.”
“Do you miss him?”
“I miss the friend I had who’d never turned on me. Don’t miss the one who fucked me over.”
I sighed, and couldn’t believe I was about to defend him, but said, “Duke seemed to me to be more of a general, in charge of his troops. And, as a general, looking out for the entire club, he probably had a point, Brain. You were too close to me. It turns out you were right, and the best way to get what you wanted from me was to work with me instead of against me, but… Duke had no way of knowing for sure.”
“Yeah, he did. We have a history, and I’ve never been wrong about the best way to proceed in… that kind of situation. We worked so well because he trusted me, trusted my strategies.” He paused a second, as if figuring out how to explain. “I think politically, and you’re right about him thinking like a general. For battle plans, we went with his recommendations, but when it came to handling things politically, he deferred to me. However, in this case, he was convinced I was thinking with my dick, putting you ahead of the club.” Brain shrugged. “I found a way to take care of both you and the club. He shoulda trusted me.”
“Were you really only thirty minutes behind my escape?”
He nodded and told me how he’d spent the night and day looking for me, starting by taking a few swings at Duke before hiding out in his control room so he could figure out where they’d taken me, and who was watching me. I grinned when he got to the part about Gonzo sitting on the front porch without a vehicle when he arrived.
But still, I’d been able to tell how close he and Duke were, and my research had told me they’d pretty much run the club as a unit.
“I’m sorry I came between you and Duke.”
He shook his head. “No, Duke came between us, not you. I supported him throughout his initial problems with his Duchess, and then he chose to turn his back on me, and put you in danger.” He gave a half smile as he said, “I told’em you’d be gone before daylight. They didn’t believe me.”
I laughed and smiled in spite of my intention to be unhappy in his
presence. “Would you’ve known I could get the Master lock off with my nail, though? Really?”
“I wouldn’t have trusted the cell. It was a no brainer you could squeeze through the bars. The damned thing was built to hold big, burly, motorcycle dudes, not a little wisp of a woman. Also, I’d know better than to use a combination lock. Takes me anywhere from three to thirty minutes to open one, so I wouldn’t use one on you. Not to say you couldn’t use a shim on a keyed lock, and no, I probably wouldn’t have thought of you using your nail as a shim, but I’d have put other precautions in place. Gonzo thought he had the shackles, the cell, his guarding you, and the upstairs alarm, but once he was asleep, all he had was the shackles and upstairs alarm, and you were fast enough hotwiring the car…” He grew more serious and said, “If he hadn’t pissed you off, humiliated you, would you’ve run?”
I shook my head. “No. I liked the idea of a fresh start, a permanent identity, and a way to walk away from a life of running, but nothing was worth what Gonzo made me do. I have too much self-respect to let anyone treat me like an animal. You know the Russians had me a while, and I’m guessing you know it was bad, but you have no idea what I survived. Gonzo didn’t come close, but I refused to let him treat me as less than human. When I had an opportunity to escape, I took it.”
“I’m glad you’re working the fresh start on your own. Anything I can do to help? Do you have a plastic surgeon lined up? Someone to take care of you after the surgery?”
“Yes.” Okay, so it was a private nurse, but the auction house had recommended her, and she knew her care of me had to be good or I wouldn’t hire her to take care of Harmony in her final weeks.
“Someone you aren’t paying? Who’ll be there because he wants to make sure you’re taken care of?”
I shook my head. “My lifestyle hasn’t let me have relationships. Over the years, I’ve fucked a few guys for a couple of months, but when they started asking too many questions I had to publicly pick a fight with them, so I could break up with them and disappear, and they couldn’t claim I’d have never have voluntarily left like that and get the police involved when I disappeared.”
“Yeah, but things can be different, now, and you do have a guy in your life who’d be happy to take care of you. What are you having done?”
“It isn’t as big of a deal as it would’ve been with the other girl. I’m doing a chin implant, and some slight work on my eyelids, and he’ll pull the skin at my forehead, so my eyebrows are a different shape. He’s going to do something to the piece of skin between my nostrils, to make my nose look a little perkier, but that’s nothing like a full nose job. Since she’s so much heavier, the fact she’s lost weight will be enough to make people believe I’m her, apparently, without too much surgery. So, we just need to do enough so the facial recognition won’t ping as the old me.”
I sighed and said, “The hacker community doesn’t know Ice is a girl, but the Russians and NSA do, and I’ll always have to watch my back to be sure they don’t figure out the new Harmony is the chick they’re after. No one can ever see me without my contacts. You, Duke, Gonzo, and Bash know about my eyes. If I come back into your life as Harmony, and they mention my eyes to the wrong person?” I looked at him a few seconds, let it sink in, and said, “It’s too big of a risk.”
“Then we’ll move far, far away, so they don’t know I’m with you.”
I’d finished eating, but he still needed to pay, so it was the perfect opportunity for me to lose him. He’d find me again, sure, but I needed to get away from him long enough to pull my thoughts together.
“No, Brain. I’m sorry for being the catalyst of your break with Duke, and the rest of your friends in Chattanooga. I know you’re sorry for the way things worked out, too, and I accept your apology. I didn’t know about the identity auctions before, and now I do, so thanks for that. I screwed your MC, but then I did what I could to make it right. Drop your guilt, you don’t have to take care of me, or atone for anything. We’re square.”
I let the piece of hair go back across my face before I left the restaurant, and walked straight to the CNN center, pulling an employee badge from a pocket of my fatigues before I entered the building. I swiped it to gain entrance to the employee section, nodded at a guard as if I belonged, and kept walking. I had the map of the area in my head, and in five minutes I was walking through the overhead enclosed walkway to the hotel across the street, and in another three minutes I was in a cab.
The idea he was a werewolf was ridiculous, but when I thought back to the ways he’d found me when he chased me before, I’d only lost him when I got into a vehicle not on rails. I didn’t really think he could track me by smell, but if thinking of him in those terms would help me stay away from him…
I took three cabs, and then walked the final couple of blocks to my hotel, knowing for sure I’d lost him.
Imagine my surprise when he was sitting in the hallway floor across from my room, busy doing something on his phone.
He smiled when he saw me, as if I shouldn’t be freaked. As if I should’ve expected him to be waiting for me. “Ah, there you are. I thought maybe we could finish our conversation?”
Chapter Twenty-One
Brain
Showing up at her hotel had been a risk, but I hoped by waiting outside instead of breaking in, I’d show her I was respecting some of her boundaries.
“How’d you find me?”
I let an eyebrow lift as I asked, “Really?”
She rolled her eyes, turned away from me, and walked towards the elevator. “You aren’t welcome in my room. You want to talk, we’ll go downstairs to the bar.”
We rode down the elevator in silence, and I followed her to the bar. She sat at a booth away from the others, her back in a corner, and I sat opposite her, though I wanted to push her farther into the booth and sit beside her.
The waitress was still a half dozen steps away when Ice told her, “Long Island, extra long, and keep ’em coming.”
I lifted a brow at her, but asked the waitress, “You got anything from Sweetwater?”
She nodded and rattled off a few, but since I didn’t hear what I wanted, I told her, “Darkest thing you have from them.”
When she was gone, I eyed Ice a few minutes before saying, “I’d begun to wonder if you even drank, Buttercup. Never known you to, before.”
She shook her head. “Not when someone’s chasing me, and I’m careful when I do, because I have to make sure I’m safe and there’s no chance I’ll need a clear head, later. You seem dead set on treating me with kid gloves, even though you won’t just go the fuck away. I don’t want to deal with you sober, and if I fall captive again while you’re supposed to be taking care of my drunk ass, I’ll never forgive you. So… fuckitall. I’m drinking.”
My heart warmed, and I told her, “Thanks for trusting me.”
She shook her head, “Fuck me over and I’ll fuck you over, Thurston. The media seems to have forgotten about the black sheep of the family, and while your family might be able to make the mainstream media keep quiet, if the tabloids and gossip blogs got the right kind of juicy info, even the main news outlets would have to say something about you.”
My wolf wanted to lash out at her for the threat, but I knew she just needed to be sure I knew she had leverage. I’m bigger, stronger, faster, and just as smart — she needed to even the playing field. So, I merely nodded and said, “Not going to fuck you over, so it won’t be a problem. I’ll warn you, though, if you decide to go that route, cover your ass so my father and big brother can’t find you. They can be brutal, and I don’t want you hurt.”
“Even if I get hurt by going after you and your family?”
I nodded, and hoped she could see the sincerity in my eyes. “Even if.”
She sighed and asked, “Buttercup?”
“You aren’t sure what I should call you, I’ll come up with something on my own. Deal with it.”
I grinned at her mock glare, but searched my head fo
r a way to change the subject. She needed to be reminded of what we had in common, and I wanted to lighten the mood, so I brought up some of the latest hardware advances, and what I thought I could do with them when they hit the market. We talked for an hour, and she had three Long Island Iced Teas during our spirited, geek-infused, barely-English conversation.
As I noted she was getting too tipsy and should probably back off, she ordered yet another, and I asked, “You sure?”
She nodded, and I told the waitress, “I’ve got her. Bring her what she wants, and get me another beer, please.”
With my werewolf metabolism, I couldn’t even get a buzz from beer, no matter how much I drank, so I was safe to imbibe and still take care of her — and I had a feeling I’d be holding her while she puked before much longer.
When I finally got Ice into her room, she sat in a chair, held a foot in the air, and said, “Take it off. I’m hot.”
Deliberately misunderstanding her, I took my vest off, draped it over the back of the sofa, and then pulled my t-shirt off.
I smelled her arousal, and… something else. This drunk, she shouldn’t be wary and concerned, but she was. I’d need to go slow, find out what she was worried about before I pushed somewhere I shouldn’t.
When she’d told me the Russians knew she was a girl, her smell had been acrid, bitter. Not fear so much as a horrible memory, something deep in her psyche. The memory of unimaginable pain, agony, humiliation, and utter desolation.
Now, she rolled her eyes and said, “No, fuckwad. Take my boots off. Sheesh, do I have to spell everything out for you? Thought you were s’posed to be smart.”
I grinned and went to one knee, bracing her shoe against my leg as I unlaced her kick-ass boots. She’d worn feminine clothes when she didn’t think I was watching. The fact she’d felt the need to look tough, and not girly, should probably tell me something.
Hell, I knew what it said. She didn’t want me to see her as a weak girl, but a strong, smart, hacker who was my equal. I worried it might say more, though.
Brain Page 10
