by R. C. Martin
There’s also his protective side. It’s fierce and I can imagine that it’s fueled by both love and fear—that fear that comes with the knowledge that he’s responsible for the life of another human being; a human being that needs him to survive.
I think about Logan and the way I love her, the way I feel compelled to protect her. If she has my babies—when she has my babies—my God, I can’t even imagine what kind of basket-case I’ll be.
“I shouldn’t have brought it up,” she mutters, her body loosening up from around mine. “I’m sorry.”
“What—no, babe,” I begin to say, reaching up to wrap my hand around the back of her neck. I tilt my head back so I can look into her eyes. “Let’s talk about it.”
“You still want them, right?”
“Logan—I absolutely want babies with you.”
“What are you thinking, then? You want to wait some more?”
“Tell me what you want, babe.”
She shrugs before she answers. “I think that it makes sense for us to wait until you’re out of school, but it’s your last semester. In June, we’ll have been married a year and…I mean, I know that there are lots of logistics we’d have to work out. I don’t want to quit my job, and we’d have to decide if living here is our best option, and I don’t know—I’m sure there are a million other things I’m not thinking about but—but I want a family with you, Roman.
“I see Trevor and Daphne with Caroline and I want that with you. I want it so much. I want Caroline to have cousins. I want our families to grow up together. I never had that as a kid. I see you and Daphne, how close you’ve always been, and I think it’s pretty damn great. Plus, I think that our marriage is such a blessing—a blessing that’s meant to be shared. If there’s anyone I’m willing to share you with, it’s our children.”
She takes a deep breath and I can see her eyes have grown glossy with tears.
“Logan Elise Holloway—I love you. I love you so much.”
“Roman Cornelius Holloway,” she sniffs, “I love you so much, too.”
“Are you telling me you’re ready? You want to start trying?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. Soon.”
“How about this,” I whisper, pulling her closer. She touches her nose to mine and stares into my eyes. “When we hit one year, we start trying.”
“Really?” she beams.
My dick twitches, my whole body responding to the radiance that is her joy. “Really.”
She cups her hand around my cheek as she presses her lips firmly against mine. When she opens her mouth, inviting my tongue to tangle with hers, I don’t hesitate. Then she moans and I’m done for. I kiss her deeper and she clutches her legs around me. The patience I was holding onto when I got into the tub is rapidly disintegrating. When she reaches down and wraps her fingers around my hard cock, the groan that sounds from the back of my throat tells her all she needs to know.
“Roman,” she mutters, pulling away from me. I grunt my response, nipping at her jaw with my teeth. “Baby—I want you. I love you. I need you.”
I’m out of the tub in two seconds, reaching for her hands. She pulls the plug from the drain before she wraps her fingers around mine, and I help her out. The second her feet are on the floor, her arms are wrapped around me, her tits are pressed against my chest, and her lips are sucking on my neck.
“Logan,” I barely manage, my hands sliding down her back and around her hips.
“Hmmm?”
“You’ll get cold. We should—”
“You’ll keep me warm,” she insists, hooking one of her legs around my thigh, pressing her pussy against my cock. “Don’t make me wait—please, baby, don’t—”
She gasps when I grab hold of her, just below her ass, and hoist her up and around me. A moan pours from her lips as I push her up against the wall and enter her core in one, hard thrust.
“Yes! Roman—yes!”
I had every intention of taking her slow tonight, of showering her with affection and love—and I will. But right now, hearing her beg makes me weak. As I pound in and out of her pussy, the noises that come out of my mouth can’t be helped. She feels so good—hot, wet, and tight around my cock.
“Oh, baby—just like that—Roman—just like that!”
I don’t stop as I lower my mouth around her breast, sucking and biting her nipple. She squeezes her legs around me tighter as she groans. She sounds so sexy, every noise she makes leaving me wanting more. I thrust into her faster—harder.
“Are you going to come for me, babe? Huh? Are you going to strangle your cock with my pussy?”
“Mmmm,” she hums, her fingers finding their way into my hair. She grips two fistfuls as she leans her head back and arches toward me, away from the wall. The candle light flickers across her face and she’s so beautiful—so damn gorgeous. In this moment, I can’t help but think—she’s going to give me perfect babies. Absolutely perfect babies.
“More. More. More!” she demands.
I squeeze my hand in between us, pressing my thumb against her clit before I begin to rub the bundle of nerves. She responds almost immediately.
“Roman!” she gasps. “Coming—I’m—comiiiiiing!”
Her announcement is unnecessary, my dick feeling her orgasm as she clenches around me; but she sounds so hot calling my name like that, she brings me closer to the brink of my own release. Seconds later, my pleasure brings me to a halt, and I cry out as my muscles tense, my dick twitching inside my woman as I spill my seed.
She collapses against me and I lean into her, keeping her propped up against the wall. We’re both panting in a desperate attempt to catch our breath, then I feel her body jerk as she starts to cry. I draw in a deep breath, and then take her fully into my arms, pulling her away from the wall.
“I got you, babe,” I murmur, running a hand up and down her back. “I got you.”
I carry her to the shower, sliding the door open and reaching inside to turn on the water. By the time it’s hot and I get us both inside, her tears have subsided. She unlocks her legs from around me and I pull out of her before setting her on her feet. She doesn’t let me go, but clings to my middle, resting her cheek against my chest.
“I love you, babe,” I tell her, pressing a kiss against her forehead.
“I love you too, baby.”
Damn. Still love it when she calls me baby.
ROMAN LACES HIS FINGERS with mine as we make our way out of the church, fielding goodbyes from the many members of the congregation that we’ve come to know. When Roman first started bringing me to The Rock in Old Town, we attended the Saturday night service. It wasn’t until after we were engaged, after he quit working at Cooper’s Pub and picked up more hours at the studio, that we began attending Sunday mornings.
While there are many people that alternate which service they attend week to week, there were quite a few new faces that we didn’t recognize at first. Being introduced as his fiancée was quite different than being introduced as his girlfriend. It was almost as if we were welcomed differently, but not in a bad way. In fact, in a really good way. There were a handful of couples that sort of took us under their wings, having been where we were before. To be a part of a community of people that has been rooting for us, checking in on us, and guiding us for over a year now, it’s been incredible.
Before we were married, we were warned that the first year would be the hardest. While being Mrs. Holloway has definitely come with it’s challenges, as we inch closer to our one year anniversary, I’d say we’ve had far more blissful days than hard ones. Nevertheless, I cherish the relationships that we’ve made in the church. My marriage means everything to me, and building a strong one is not just something I want, or even something that Roman and I want by ourselves—we’ve got a whole church full of people who want the same for us. And, seeing as my parents haven’t always been the most outstanding example, and as Roman’s mother is still on the fence about me, I know that our connection to this congregation is ju
st one more thing that God lined up for us before we said I do.
Roman and his love for me has always been the catalyst for my faith. He’s my miracle; our relationship is my fairytale; and my connection with God is the more that makes us…us. My husband has always loved me more than I thought possible, and I love him the same. We only know how to do that because we understand what love truly is—what it feels like, what it tastes like, who it looks like. We understand that God is love. With Him, our love is complete.
I’ll never get tired of coming to church with Roman. His faith has always been so pure and beautiful. It’s the bright flame that lights up his soul, and it’s part of the reason I fell in love with him in the first place. If ever I forget that I have been blessed, if ever I forget that I have so much to be thankful for, if ever I forget that I serve a God who is worthy of my praise—all I have to do is look at my husband, really look at him, and I’ll remember.
“Hey, babe?” asks Roman, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Yeah, baby?”
“I was thinking, if we change fast, we could stop by Little Bird for some coffee before we head to the party.”
“Hmm, is someone feeling a little tired today,” I tease as he opens up the passenger door to my BMW for me to slip inside.
He smirks at me before he brushes his lips against my cheek. “Don’t mock me, beautiful. You know damn well that it was worth it,” he murmurs.
I giggle, pressing a quick kiss against his lips before I get into the car. As I watch him make his way to the driver’s side, I remember last night. He presented his dissertation to me twice. His official presentation is tomorrow, and even though he knows his stuff forward and backward, he’s still a little anxious. It was midnight by the time I convinced him that he was going to do an outstanding job. Then he told me that he needed me to do one more thing to help him relax.
We went to bed three hours later…
Now, I certainly won’t interfere with his desire to caffeinate. I could use a jolt, myself. We’ve got a full afternoon ahead of us. Today, we’re celebrating Caroline’s birthday. I can hardly believe my little baby niece and goddaughter is already a year old! While most of our friends don’t have kids, aside from Harvey and Grace, Trevor and Daphne insisted that they wanted to go all out for their firstborn. Grace and I helped her decorate for the occasion yesterday. Really, it’ll just be a bunch of the usual suspects hanging out, watching Care-Bear open presents and eat cake, but we’re all pretty excited, anyway.
Then this evening, my in-laws will be in town for dinner.
So, yeah—caffeine sounds like a great idea.
Once we get home, I head straight for the closet. It’s a beautiful spring day. May is just around the corner, and I’m itching for any excuse to start wearing some of my favorite casual dresses. Unfortunately, it’s not quite that warm out, so I slip into a pair of salmon colored skinny jeans and a simple, clingy, long-sleeved gray top. I’m digging through our dresser for my light pink, floral scarf when I feel Roman’s hands slide around my waist. I turn my head back to look at him, and he presses his lips against mine. As I hum my surprise, he shifts my body to face him, his mouth never leaving mine. I follow his lead, wrapping my arms around his neck as I push myself up on my tiptoes.
This is another thing I will never tire of. In his arms is my favorite place to be. He makes me feel so safe, protected, and loved.
When he pulls away from me, gracing my lips with small kisses before he smiles at me, I can’t help but smile back.
“What was that for?” I ask softly.
“Just wanted to. You are so hot. Did you know that? You’re way out of my league, babe.”
My smile stretches into a grin and I reach up for another kiss. “You only say that because you don’t know how hot you are.” I kiss him once more. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. You about ready?”
“Yeah. Just need my shoes.”
“Alright. Where’s Care’s gift?”
“Dining room table.”
“Got it. I’ll grab it, then we’ve got to get out of here.”
“Okay. I’m right behind you.”
True to my word, I head back to the closet for my gray, suede, ankle boots, wrapping my scarf around my neck as I go. Once I’m dressed, I grab my purse and meet Roman at the door. Forty minutes later, we both enjoy the last sip of our coffee before we get out of the car and head for the Rockwell’s front door.
We don’t bother knocking before we enter, the cars lining the street alerting us to the full house. Once inside, we’re greeted with the aroma of something delicious, and the hum of various conversations being had as people sit and chat. Their home has an open floor plan that I’m quite familiar with, having redecorated the space a little over a year ago, with the help of the friends who now fill the space. The adjoined kitchen, living room, and dining room is perfect for occasions such as this.
“Hey, guys,” greets Daphne as she emerges from the kitchen. Caroline is in her arms and she smiles when she sees us. My heart melts at the sight. “Come in. Grab some food. Grace and I may have gone a little overboard, so there’s plenty. Oh, and I’ll take that,” she says, pointing to the gift in Roman’s hand.
“Only if you let me have her,” he replies, reaching for our niece.
“Of course!”
“Come ‘ere, you,” he mutters, lifting her out of Daphne’s arms. He attacks her neck with kisses and she giggles. It’s the most adorable sound I’ve ever heard. For a moment, I’m transfixed as I watch them. He extends his arms, holding her up above him and then brings her back down, going for her neck again, eliciting another round of giggles.
Good God, I love him. He is, without a doubt, a DILF in training.
Fifty more days, I think with a small, knowing smile. Fifty more days until we hit the one year mark and we start trying to make our own little one.
I can hardly wait.
I could listen to Caroline’s little giggle all day. It’s the most joyful noise. Though, when she starts to hiccup, I think twice about thrusting her in the air again. She doesn’t seem to mind. Propped up against my chest, she chats with me in her incomprehensible language. I’m distracted from her conversation when Logan slides her hand across my lower back.
“I’m going to get some food. Do you want me to make you a plate?”
“Please,” I reply, leaning over to kiss her cheek. She nods and then disappears into the kitchen.
As I make my way further into the house, I see Axel, Harvey and Grace’s son, playing contentedly in the middle of the living room floor. Caroline spots him, too, twisting and practically launching herself out of my arms as she reaches for him. I laugh and then set her down on the blanket full of toys.
“Hey, Rome. Long time, no see, man,” says Pete as he gets up from the couch. He extends his hand and I accept the gesture before bumping my shoulder against his and offering him a pat on the back. Pretty soon, all the Generation Ink crew is up, greeting me warmly.
Pete, Harvey, Trevor and I used to see each other once a week when we met up to play three on three basketball with my roommates. It feels like we haven’t gotten together in forever. As I sit between Coder and Harvey, catching up with the guys, Logan comes over and hands me a plate. “Thanks, babe,” I say with a wink. She winks back at me, a small smile curling her perfect lips, and then she goes back to the kitchen to hang out with Grace, Willow, and Daphne.
“So, how’s that going?” Harvey asks, nodding after her.
“Good,” I reply with a smirk. Good doesn’t even begin to describe it. “We’re doing great.”
“You’re coming up on a year, right?”
“Yup. In June.”
“You poppin’ out any kids anytime soon?” asks Pete around a bite of food.
I cough out a laugh, looking over at Axel and Caroline, remembering the promise I made to Logan. I know she’s counting down the days until our anniversary, until the day we start trying. We aren’t telling a
nyone yet, though. So I shake my head before I say, “We’ll see. Right now, I’m focusing on finishing up school. I graduate in a couple weeks.”
“Oh, wow. Congrats, man.”
I manage to steer the conversation away from me just as Brandon and Sarah arrive. I assume they are the last of the expected guests as Daphne claps her hands and announces that the baby festivities are about to begin. She passes out an assortment of birthday cone hats, insisting that everyone has to wear it until after presents and cake. We all oblige, some more reluctantly than others, as we gather in the living room.
Trevor and Daphne sit in the middle of the floor with Caroline and all of her gifts. Grace sits in Harvey’s lap and Willow sits at Pete’s feet as she plays photographer. Coder offers to move to the floor so that Logan can sit beside me, but she politely declines.
“May I?” she asks Grace, pointing at Axel.
“Yeah, absolutely.”
She then sits cross-legged on the floor, picking him up and setting him in her lap as Caroline—or rather, her parents—open up her gifts. I miss most of it, my attention glued to my wife. I watch as she coos in Axel’s ear and kisses his cheeks, entertaining him while Care’s in the spotlight. I’ve seen her with both Care and Ax plenty of times, but lately—every time she’s got a baby in her arms—I can’t help but imagine what she’ll be like with our baby. I have no doubt she’s going to be a wonderful mom. I married a woman with this huge heart, and I know she’ll love our children fiercely.
I look over and watch Trevor with Caroline—I see the way he dotes on her, the way he looks at her like she’s the sun, the moon, and the stars. She lights his world, and I can’t even imagine what that’s like. What that bond feels like. It’s daunting, to say the least. I know that that kind of love comes with an insane amount of responsibility, the kind of responsibility that’s scary as all hell. Except, Trevor doesn’t carry himself like a man terrified by the reality of fatherhood. Looking at my sister, I think I understand why. He’s not in this alone. Neither is she. They’re a team. Together, they’re the best damn parents Caroline could ever ask for.
