by Glines, Abbi
By the time I had finished eating, the party had started up already. I couldn’t stay in this room one more night. Of course, I didn’t want to go out into that wild mess, either. Before it got too carried away, I locked the door to my room and went to the window to escape. I didn’t want anyone making themselves at home in my bed while I was out. I didn’t think any of them would attempt to get in the window. I’d been locked away for two weeks. Everyone knew, by now, that my room was off-limits.
Making sure no one saw my escape, I headed down to the water. Just a long walk to stretch my legs and breathe in the clean ocean air, and then I’d head back to hole up for the night. Maybe I wouldn’t be so restless. Breaking into a jog, I pushed all those memories that tended to creep in when I let my guard down to the back of mind. I imagined myself running from all of them, leaving them in the past as my hair flew out behind me. Silent tears streamed down my face as I let it go . . . one memory at a time.
SAWYER
This place was like a frat house. I didn’t like that. I didn’t like it at all. I started to knock on the door as music began to pound through the thin walls. Some bikini-clad girls leaned over the railing on the second floor and called out what they wanted to do to me if I’d just come on up. Shaking my head, I headed for the corner room that faced the ocean.
A guy had a girl pressed up against the side of the building, and I was more than positive they were having sex. This crap had surrounded Lana for two weeks. I was going to kill Ethan once I got back home. She didn’t belong here. If someone had touched her . . . I stopped myself. I couldn’t do this. I had to win her back. If I went all caveman, she would fight me.
Turning the corner, the window facing the ocean greeted me. I glanced at the other windows in the unit, and they all faced the pool. The window had to belong to Lana’s room. I knocked and waited, but there was nothing but silence. The lights were off. Could she actually be somewhere in this wild bunch of people? I reached down and thought I’d check and see if the window was locked. It wasn’t. Not smart, Lana. Didn’t she know better than to leave her windows unlocked? Anyone could have gotten in. I didn’t want to think about it. I needed to focus.
Pushing the window open, I stepped inside the room. The sweet smell of her perfume filled the room. Jewel had given me directions straight to Lana, and I’d missed the cue. The room was empty. I glanced over toward the door and realized it was locked. So she’d escaped through the window. She wasn’t at this party.
A knock on the door startled me. I froze and waited to see if they would go away. What if she’d met someone here? What if she was out with him right now? I’d kill him.
“Lana! You in there?” Jewel’s familiar voice called from the other side of the door. I didn’t respond. I didn’t want her to know I was here. She could see Lana before she returned. Then Lana might run again. I had to make her talk to me.
“Okay, fine. If you’re mad about Fence, I’m sorry. Chain told me what he said. He was kidding, Lana. That’s just the way guys like him are. They say things like that. He didn’t mean anything by it.”
Fence? Chain? And what the hell had he said to Lana? I reminded myself that I had to convince Lana to take me back. That I loved her. I couldn’t go storming out the door to beat the shit out of guys with crazy-ass names. They were probably all stoned anyway.
“Chain said you threatened Fence with a knife.” Jewel laughed approvingly. “He was impressed and maybe a little turned on. It’s best that you’re locked up in here tonight. Maybe things will be straightened out soon. Maybe Sawyer will call me again.”
A knife? What if he’d lunged for her and the knife had stabbed her? Fuck. I had to get her out of this place. Did she want me, too? Is that what Jewel meant by maybe I’d call again? God, I hoped so. I had to tell her I loved her. I’d been so stupid before.
She’d be back. I just needed to wait. I was close.
Sitting down on the bed, I reached over and took a pillow. Holding it to my nose, I inhaled. God, I’d missed that smell. Burying my face in her scent, I sat watching the window . . . waiting.
LANA
The tears were dried on my face as I made my way back to the condo. I’d run for over an hour. My lungs burned and my legs would probably feel like Jell-O tomorrow. I wasn’t big on exercise, so it was gonna hurt.
Pulling up my window, I stepped inside to find someone sitting on my bed in the dark. Naturally, I screamed.
“Lana, it’s me.” Sawyer’s hands were on my arms instantly. Sawyer . . . Sawyer was here.
I stood, frozen, trying to decide if I’d passed out from the running and it was a dream.
“I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m sorry.” The words “I’m sorry” snapped me out of my shocked haze, and I jerked out of his grasp and quickly moved away from him and toward the door.
“Lana, please don’t. Please listen to me. Don’t shut me out. You have no idea—”
“I have no idea? Me? Yes, I have an idea. I want you to leave. Do you understand me? Leave. I. Do. Not. Want. To. See. You!” I was yelling, but I knew no one would hear me over the noise outside.
“Lana, please,” Sawyer begged. He walked hesitantly toward me. I closed my eyes and crossed my arms protectively over my chest. I hated how the pleading sound in his voice pulled at me.
“If you ever felt one small amount of anything for me, you’ll leave and let me move on,” I whispered fiercely.
When he didn’t respond, I was torn between joy that he was leaving, meaning he felt something for me, no matter how small it may be, relief that he wouldn’t be here to witness me crumble to the floor, and agony, because seeing him had completely ripped me open.
I heard the faint rattle of paper, and I opened my eyes slowly to see Sawyer standing in the same spot, a worn-looking letter in his hands. He began to read:
“I made the mistake of opening my heart up to someone who clearly could never feel the same about me. I knew Sawyer loved you. I’ve known it since we were kids. I thought maybe just getting his attention for a short time would be enough. It wasn’t.”
My chest felt like it was going to explode. He had the letter I’d left Ashton. Oh, God.
He lifted his eyes from the paper and looked directly at me with so much pain, and something else, in his eyes. . . . “I loved Ashton once. She was my childhood crush. She was all I really knew. But when she left me, I didn’t cry. When you left me, I wept like a baby.”
I stopped breathing as he lowered his eyes back to the paper in his hands.
“I’ve grown up with two parents who never once thought about me in the choices they made. My emotions weren’t something they concerned themselves with, and maybe that is my fault because I didn’t speak up. I just pushed the hurt and anger deep inside me. I wanted to be strong because I knew they were weak. I’m tired of being strong. I’m tired of being second best. I need someone to love me.”
He stopped reading and lifted his eyes to stare at me once again. “You should never and I mean, never, be anyone’s second choice. Anyone who doesn’t see you for the incredible gift you are is a blind bastard.”
He lowered his eyes back to the paper and began reading again.
“Staying in Grove isn’t a possible option for me. I let myself hope for too much. I’ve been broken too many times. I can’t stay somewhere near . . . someone who will eventually destroy me.” His green eyes lifted to meet mine, and the tears glistening in them took my breath away. “If I lose you because of the blind idiot I’ve been, then I will be the one who is destroyed.”
He continued to read.
“You had the right Vincent boy all along. Don’t take him for granted this time. He loves you in a way that I hope to one day inspire in someone. He would give up the world for you. When you have someone that special, that incredible who loves you, don’t let it go. This is your second chance to treasure what you’ve had all your life. Sawyer was always the Vincent boy worth fighting for. He’s the special one.”
Sawyer slowly folded the paper and rubbed his thumb over it as if it were something precious. Then tucked it back into his pocket.
“Ashton didn’t have the right Vincent boy. I know this because I understand now what love really feels like. The kind that consumes you. Love holds the power to break you, holds the power to complete you. When I read this letter, I was standing in Ashton’s living room after fixing things for her and Beau, which was all I wanted to do. They belong together. They’ve always belonged together. I get that now. Not because she chose him, but because you chose me. Until you, I was lost. I thought Ashton was what my life was supposed to be. Letting go of the comfort zone that our relationship represented was hard. Then you came into my life like a light bursting through the darkness. You made everything make sense.” He took a step closer to me, and I fought the urge to throw myself in his arms. “Lana. I think about you every minute of every day. When I’m with you, my world is complete. When I touch you, I understand the meaning of life. When I lost you, I completely shattered. You. Own. Me.”
A tear rolled down my face and dropped from my chin. That wasn’t enough.
This time I needed more.
Sawyer reached out for my hand and pulled me closer to him.
I wanted to melt in his arms, but I couldn’t.
“I love you, Lana. I love you so much. Everything about you. The way your lips curl up slowly when you smile, the freckle right under your perfect little bottom, the way your laughter sends warmth flooding through my veins, how your touch lights me on fire. I love you, and I will spend the rest of my life making sure you know that you are my number one. You will always be my number one.”
That was it. That was enough. That was all I’d ever need to hear.
SAWYER
Lana threw her arms around my neck and let out a loud sob as she buried her face in my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and held her as my heart cracked with each sob that tore from her chest. I didn’t want her to cry. I’d made her cry too much. I wanted to make her happy. I wanted smiles and laughter. I ran my hand down her back and kissed her temple as she clung to me. At least she wasn’t pushing me away. I just wanted the crying to stop. I wanted her to feel wanted. She was my world.
“I’m so sorry,” I said through the tightness in my throat.
Lana nodded her head against my chest and her sobbing eased some as she sniffled. I just wanted to wrap her up and protect her from any and all pain. Forever. This was torture. Knowing I’d done this was killing me.
“I know. Me too.”
Me too? What the hell was she sorry for?
“You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” I told her as I kept my mouth pressed to her forehead. I needed to feel her skin under my lips. Just knowing she was here and in my arms again. I was afraid to let go.
“I should have stayed around and let you explain,” she said through a hiccup.
“I’d screwed up and hurt you before. You expected it again. It’s all my fault. Everything comes back to me and my stupid mistakes,” I assured her running my hand over her head and down the length of her hair.
“I love you, too,” she said as she pulled back to look up at me. Grabbing her face, I covered her mouth with mine. Those words weren’t something I expected to hear from her at least not this soon. As much as I wanted to savor the taste of her mouth and the softness of her lips, I was hungry. I needed more of her. Lana opened her mouth willingly and tilted her head back as she slid her tongue into my mouth and flicked it sweetly against mine. Yeah, this was home. This was mine.
Chapter 24
LANA
“Crazy Girl” by the Eli Young Band woke me up from a very good dream. Stretching, I felt Sawyer’s arms tighten around me. “Crazy girl, don’t you know that I love you?” kept playing, and I turned to look up at Sawyer, who was reaching for my phone.
“Why is my phone turned on, and why is it singing a country song?’ I asked groggily as he looked at the screen and then dropped his gaze to mine.
“It’s your mom. Talk to her or she’ll worry.”
I gaped at him. “My mom? But—”
“I got your phone out of your bag last night and turned it on. Finding you had my adrenaline pumping, so calming down was hard to do. I changed your ringtone to the song that makes me think about you.” He lowered his mouth to mine and sang, “Have I told you lately, I love you like crazy, girl?” along with my ringing phone. I couldn’t get mad at him while he was doing something like that. Early-morning, singing-Sawyer was just too freaking sweet. Even if he’d made it possible for my mom to call me.
Sighing, I took the phone from him and answered. “Hi, Mom.”
“Oh, Lana, you’ve turned your phone back on. I’m so glad. Does this mean you’re going to come home? I’m so ready to see you.”
“No, I’m not coming home. Not yet, anyway.” I met Sawyer’s gaze and wondered what I was going to do. I wasn’t sure I’d be welcomed back at Aunt Sarah’s after I’d run off like that. “I don’t really know what I’m going to do next.”
“Why are you doing this? Is it still about Sawyer? I can tell you that—”
“Mom, it isn’t about Sawyer,” I replied, reaching up and running my hand through his messy hair. “He’s perfect. I just don’t really know yet how I’m going to finish my summer.”
Sawyer frowned, and his arms tightened around me like I was going to vanish into thin air.
“Wait, did you just say Sawyer was perfect? I thought you were mad at him. I mean, I agree with you he is a lovely young man. We’ve spoken a lot over the past two weeks, and I think he really loves you. The boy has been so upset. He calls me all the time to see if I’ve heard from you, even though every time you called, I called him right away and told him what you said and that you were fine. Oh, no. I didn’t mean to tell you that. Don’t be mad at me, honey. He was just so worried.”
I smirked at him. “He can be pretty persuasive. I understand.”
“He’s a very good catch, Lana. Wealthy family and going to Florida for college too. I was so surprised when he told me he had gotten a scholarship there for football. That’s perfect.”
“No, Mom, it isn’t. Dad isn’t going to be able to help out.” Saying that never got easier.
“Nonsense. Yes, he is going to help. The alimony he gives me every month will more than pay for it. Besides, I’m selling the house and downsizing. It’s too much house for just me.”
“Mom, no, you love the house, and I don’t think you understand how much it’ll cost with books and living expenses—”
“I’m not an idiot, Lana. I checked into all of that while you’ve been gone. You’re still getting mail, and I had to pay a few more fees and get the first semester paid for. I’ve held off buying things for your dorm room until you come home to help me.”
“Lana, what’s wrong?” Sawyer sat up quickly and pulled me up in his arms.
“Is that Sawyer? Are you back in Grove?” my mother asked, and I patted Sawyer’s chest to silently calm him down. I’d become teary-eyed listening to my mother, and he’d gone into panic mode.
“Yes, that’s Sawyer. He, uh, found me last night,” I replied into the phone, while smiling at Sawyer, who was watching me carefully with frown lines between his eyebrows.
“Found you? Where are you? How did he find you?”
“I’ve been with Jewel all along. She covered for me, and honestly, I have no idea how he found me, unless . . . ” I paused before I finished that thought. I didn’t want to have to explain this all to my mother, and she would want to know. I was pretty sure who’d ratted me out. Ethan was the only one in Grove who knew where I had gone.
“Listen, Mom, I’ll call you later. I’ve got to figure some things out today, but I’ll be sure to let you know. Let me talk to Sawyer, okay, and thank you. I love you.”
“I love you, too, Lana.”
I disconnected and laid my phone down beside me before crawling on top of Sawyer. “So how’d you get my whereabouts
out of Ethan? And is he still alive?”
Sawyer chuckled and shifted me so I was straddling him. “Yes, he’s still breathing. Actually, I left him completely unharmed. I ran out of there so fast once I had your location, I didn’t even say good-bye.”
“Good, now tell me how you got it out of him,” I replied, running my hands up his bare chest. I’d missed touching him.
“He just told me,” he said in a husky whisper. His attention was focused on my hands as I traced circles around his very firm pecs.
“The guilt got to him, I guess,” I murmured before leaning down to press a kiss to the bruise just over his ribs. “Did those big mean football players hurt you?” I cooed, raining a trail of kisses across his abs and back up his chest.
“Uh-huh, I can show you a lot of other places they hurt me too.” He sighed, running his hands down my back to cup my butt.
“Mmkay, just let me finish kissing these booboos, and I’ll get to the other ones next,” I promised.
“Please, take your time,” he said with a groan, slipping his hands inside my panties.
“You still haven’t answered me about how you got my hideout location from Ethan,” I reminded him as I slid down his body so I could kiss just below his belly button.
“Gaaah, baby.” He arched into me then took a ragged breath. “Who’s Ethan?” he asked in a low deep voice.
I lifted my eyes to meet his fascinated gaze. “You remember Ethan. Your friend who told on me,” I reminded before I licked gently at the skin right above his boxers.
“Oh, fuuuuuck,” he moaned, tangling his hands in my hair.
I decided to let the Ethan thing go. I was having too much fun watching the guy I loved come apart in my arms. Slipping a finger under the top of his boxers, I leaned forward and whispered in his ear. “Any booboos down there I need to pay attention to?”
