“Okay, folks, we’re going to take a short break and when we come back, you’re going to finally hear Cherry Ryan’s side of what happened as she confronts Ari Johanson.”
Just fucking great. He didn’t know he’d be watching her with the ex. Jason couldn’t move, couldn’t tear himself away from the screen.
The proverbial train wreck.
Front-row seats.
Why don’t they at least provide beer in this place?
She looked too good with her hair falling in soft waves down the front of her, caressing those luscious breasts. Every now and then she’d move her head, and her hair would fall forward to cover part of her face, making him want to reach out and tuck it behind her ear like he’d done a hundred times. Wanted to run his fingers along her jaw, down her throat, and slide his hand into her hair, letting the silky strands tickle the back of his arm. Wanted to taste her lips, feel the weight of them against his.
The greenroom door opened and a mammoth of a man entered the room. “Mr. Valentine, you doing okay in here? Need anything?”
“Jason, please. I’m okay. How much longer until I’m on?”
The guy stepped in and closed the door. “There will be a ten-minute break from when asshat, oops, I mean Johanson leaves before we bring you out. The show’s execs were worried if you two passed in the hall we could have a situation on our hands.”
Jason immediately liked the guy. “I take it you’re not a fan?”
“After what he did to Cherry? Oh, hell no. Dude can’t sing for crap either.” The guy walked over and stuck his paw out. “Name’s Steve, I’m one of the producers here.”
“How’s she doing?”
“Homesick. Ready to move on with her life.” Steve hesitated, looked up at the screen before continuing. “I probably shouldn’t say this, and if she finds out, I’m going to be in big trouble, so you didn’t hear it from me. Got it?” He waited for Jason’s nod. “She’s not over you. I should hate you even more than asshat, because while he publicly humiliated and hurt her, you, she’s still in love with. But I didn’t say that.”
“I’m such an ass.”
“Honey, all men are to some degree, but we still love them,” Steve said.
“You know, Steve, if you’re ever in Providence, I’ve got a spare room that’s all yours, man.”
Jason turned his attention back to the screen as Ari Johanson joined Cherry and Chris Morrison on the set. Morrison ran through his spiel, doing his thing to set the mood and tension for the audience, but Jason didn’t pay attention to the king of drama, he studied the body language of the two ex-lovers. Noted how Cherry flinched as Johanson leaned in to kiss her on the cheek, saw her scoot an inch in the opposite direction when they sat down and the man rested his arm across the back of the couch. Most importantly he noticed the plastic smile, the white knuckles of her hands clasped around her knees as she leaned slightly forward, prepared to bolt, and the ultra-sweet tone to her voice.
When she said she hated the man, she wasn’t kidding. It showed in every inch of her body.
Jason never should have let her walk out his door. Should have told her to stay. Should have fought for her, for them. Well, he was here to do so now and he wouldn’t stop fighting until the lady surrendered. Whatever it took, that was the motto that he’d started this journey with and the motto he’d live by the rest of his life, whether it be work or relationships. Whatever it took—he’d get the life he deserved.
“Cherry, we’re going to start with you as we’ve all heard Ari’s take on things.” Morrison rubbed at his chin in mock confusion. “What the heck happened? One minute the two of you are on a beach in the Bahamas, happily engaged, and six weeks later . . . Well, I can only describe you as bitter enemies.”
She lifted her chin, looked directly at the camera. “I know the world thinks I’m the bad guy here, Chris. The truth is, both Ari and I made a huge mistake. I can’t speak for his motives, but I’m pretty confident when I say he didn’t love me any more than I loved him—”
“Cher, that’s not true. You were my soul mate,” Johanson whined.
The look on Cherry’s face was priceless, slicing through the ex, shutting his defense right down. “I’m not saying you didn’t think you loved me. I think it’s possible you got caught up in the hype and the romance of it and when you found yourself the last man standing, so to speak, you simply followed through.”
“I have to disagree. My intentions were true from the start,” he countered.
“Ari, please. This isn’t easy, and arguing isn’t going to help.”
“Fine, tell your story.” He sneered.
She stopped, took a moment to wipe away a silent tear, and Jason clenched his fist.
“From the start, Ari was always a favorite. I’m sure everyone saw that, as they also saw the relationship between Jake and me build over the course of the season. I never doubted Ari would be one of the men at the end. Jake surprised me, swept me off my feet. Going into the final week and the overnight dream date, I actually thought Jake would be the one. He’d be the man I’d marry.”
The show broke for commercial, leaving the audience, Jason included, wondering what was to come next.
“Do you really love her?” Steve asked.
Jason jerked his head up to look at the man he’d forgotten was in the room. “Yeah. Nothing she says here is going to change how I feel.”
“Are you sure? Because I can flip a switch and turn it off for you.”
“Thanks, but I need to hear this,” Jason said.
The show resumed with Morrison’s recap and a very tense-looking couple next to him.
“So, Cherry, you’re in the Bahamas with Jake and Ari. How did we get from you having your mind made up on Jake to picking Ari?” Morrison asked.
Cherry glanced at Ari before scooting a little farther away. She rubbed her palms on the couch, letting several seconds of silence fill the air. “Things between me and Jake took a turn I wasn’t expecting during the overnight date—”
“BLEEEEP! You slept with him.” Johanson’s outrage sent off the network censor. “For months, I’ve been thinking how wrong I was to believe that guy who claimed to be your boyfriend. I’ve missed you. Thought about calling you a million times and begging you for a second chance. I’m such a fool, because you were cheating on me.”
Tears streamed down Cherry’s cheeks. Steve laid a giant paw on Jason’s shoulder as he headed for the door and shook his head. “Don’t do it, man. She has to face the music. Still stand by how you feel about her?”
“Hell yeah. That woman is going to be my wife, and I can’t stand here and let that douche drive her to tears.”
“Give her a chance. Have some faith,” Steve said.
Faith. She’d asked for that once before. It might kill him, but he’d give it to her.
“Sit down and shut up, Ari. First, I didn’t cheat on you. Things may have gone further between Jake and me during the overnight than I had planned, but I loved him and had planned on picking him. Second, you can’t call it cheating when you came on the show knowing full well that I’d be dating more than one person. Third, and this is the last time I’m going to say this, that guy, my supposed ‘hometown boyfriend,’ I’d never seen him before in my life. As a matter of fact, he’s an actor. I’m just not sure who paid him to play the role.”
“Okay, so why didn’t you pick Jake, then?” Morrison asked.
Cherry focused on the host, ignoring Ari pouting next to her. A ghost of a smile graced her face. “Jake didn’t reciprocate my feelings. Sure, I was a lot of fun and he loved being with me. He didn’t see it ending in marriage for us, or anytime for him as he put it. Ari told me he loved me. He couldn’t wait for me to be his wife, to have kids. The whole shebang.”
“Should have listened to the rumors,” Johanson murmured.
“When it came down to it and Ari proposed, I knew that even though my feelings for him weren’t as strong as the feelings I had for Jake, they were rea
l. We could be happy together. He loved me, and I had every intention of spending the rest of my life with him. Any doubts I felt, I chalked up to the show. I’d had to make so many decisions in such a short time it was only natural to second-guess myself.”
Hearing those words from Cherry about another man cut deep through Jason’s heart. He wanted to be the only man she’d ever loved, which was stupid and childish, but there it was.
“So you left the Bahamas with the best intentions. What happened?” Morrison prodded.
Cherry refused to acknowledge Johanson, keeping her attention on Morrison. Not that Jason could blame her. Her admission couldn’t be easy for any of them to swallow. Knowing she’d already been hurt once by someone she thought she loved and who wouldn’t commit to her ripped at Jason’s gut. And he’d done the same thing to her.
“Everything fell apart. Calls got further apart. Ari got his recording contract, and then the mystery boyfriend appeared. I guess we both fooled ourselves into thinking we could make it work.”
Jason could see the pain in her eyes, hated knowing he’d put some of it there. It tore him up knowing he couldn’t reach out and comfort her, apologize.
“Ari, do you have anything you’d like to contribute?” Morrison finally brought Johanson into the conversation.
“Cher, I loved you. Still do. You weren’t the only one whose heart got broken. Mine did too. It’s all I can sing about. We were both victims of a scam artist. How could I not believe him, though? He knew so much. What else was I supposed to do but end our relationship?” Johanson fidgeted in his seat as he looked back and forth between Cherry and the camera.
“How about believe the woman you claimed to love, asshat?” Jason mumbled.
“Double douche bag,” Steve chimed in and the two of them knuckle-tapped in agreement.
Back on the show, Johanson begged Cherry to forgive him, to give him another chance.
“I’m so hollow without you, Cher. My music, it’s gone. I need my muse back.” The dude had tears at the corners of his eyes. Rage and sympathy surged through Jason. How dare he ask now, yet how could he walk away? Still, Jason curled his hands into fists, squeezing tight to ward off the urge to hit something or someone.
“The guy always did know how to milk it for the cameras,” Steve said.
Cherry patted Ari’s arm, leaving her hand resting there. Jason wanted to knock it off. She shouldn’t be touching Ari, shouldn’t be touching anyone but him. “Thank you for the apology, Ari. Once . . . upon a time . . . what you and I had, I thought it was enough. I was wrong.”
Johanson snorted. “Don’t tell me you’re still holding out for Jake? He’s hooked up with at least three other women during the reunions since then.”
Cherry laughed in response. “No, I’m not. What I’m saying is you deserve more. So do I. We both deserve that special, once-in-a-lifetime kind of love. They say that all things, good or bad, happen for a reason. I think they’re right. Granted, it’s not always fun, but generally lessons aren’t—they’re painful and we’d all rather do without pain and suffering, but it’s what causes us to grow and hopefully become better people. Let’s call what happened between us one of life’s lessons and move on. I’m flattered you’d like to go out again. However, I’m choosing at this time in my life to be on my own, to work on those lessons learned.”
The producers escorted Ari from the stage as he ranted his true opinions of her, and none of them had anything to do with being his muse now that she’d shot him down on national TV. She would have felt bad, but she was sure somewhere out there he had some PR person telling him that any publicity was good publicity, especially after his last release had tanked so horribly.
They moved her over to a stage chair, where makeup and hair went to work. Chris wanted to do a follow-up segment. Really, she didn’t know if she had any more in her to talk about her emotions. At this point, she simply wanted to hear those magical words “it’s a wrap” and be free. Over the past few weeks the allure of Los Angeles had faded, and was now simply another big city. Tomorrow she’d go to the beach one last time, go walk the pier at Santa Monica or cruise the boardwalk in Malibu. She would love to go to Disneyland for the day. She’d have to see if Steve or Jerry was free and could go with her. Before she left she’d have to make a trip to Grauman’s Chinese Theatre and take her picture with Jimmy Stewart’s handprints. Hard to believe she’d been here for eight weeks and in that time hadn’t done any of the fun stuff she loved.
“Ready for this final scene, Cherry?” Chris asked.
Nodding, she blinked the bittersweet mist from her eyes. “Let’s wrap this baby up and call it a day.”
They took their respective seats on the chair and love seat again, and the lights dimmed, giving the set the romantic atmosphere usually reserved for Finding Mr. Right scenes. The director yelled “action.” Chris started speaking, but Cherry didn’t hear the words. A man stood by the edge of the set with his back to her. Her heart skipped a beat, then another one. Forcing herself to sit still, she slowed her breathing down, or rather tried. Dressed in a suit, he wouldn’t be a crew member.
The man was tall, dark, and spiky.
And arrogant.
He turned toward her, the smile hesitant, his fingers tapping their restless beat against his leg.
Impatient.
Chris’s words finally sank in as he introduced Jason to all of America.
What? She’d obviously missed something important . . . like what in the hell Jason was doing here. He hated the media and TV and being in the spotlight. Not to mention they’d broken up.
His long legs ate up the space and he took the spot next to her on the love seat. He looked scrumptious dressed once again in his tux. Yet it didn’t hide the stress lines at the corners of his eyes or the smudges under them. She knew he’d been putting in long hours, longer than he should, and stayed way past when he’d sent the rest of the crew home. It was good to have spies. She wanted to reach out, soothe the worry lines from his forehead. Fear held her back. She would not allow herself to be publicly humiliated again.
“What are you doing here?” she whispered.
“I missed you.”
So did I, God, don’t do this to me now.
“Jason, welcome. I know that our viewers are very curious as to who you are and why we’ve brought you here today. So let’s tell them.”
Sitting back in her seat, she tried not to go into a defensive position, fought not to cross her arms or scowl. Knowing how much the producers liked her didn’t help, because in the end it was all about the ratings, and creating a déjà-freaking-vu would send theirs through the roof.
Jason rubbed his hands together, another sure sign of his nerves. “Thanks, Chris. I’m not really sure how to say it other than I’m the idiot who let Cherry get away, and I’m here to change that.”
Glancing up, Cherry caught sight of herself in the monitors. To say she looked like a deer caught in headlights was an understatement. A more accurate description would be a gladiator thrown in the pits with the lions, and she was the lion. She was not doing this again. Not letting anyone do this to her again.
Turning to Jason, she said, “Before you say anything, I need to apologize to you. I should never have doubted you or your integrity. I was wrong and I’m truly sorry. However, it doesn’t change anything between us. Don’t do this, not here. Go home. You said everything I needed to hear before I left. Nothing’s changed.”
“Everything’s changed. I’ve changed. Hear me out, please?”
Like she had a choice. Admittedly, a part of her wanted to know what would make Jason spill his guts in front of millions.
Jason turned to her, taking her hand in his. “You look beautiful. You take my breath away.”
“Thanks. I’d say the same, except you kind of look like crap, Valentine. When was the last time you slept a solid eight?” She laughed it off so the viewing audience would take it as a joke, but she meant it. She couldn’t help it, because
after everything, she still loved him.
“Eight weeks. The last night I held you in my arms. I’ve wanted to tell you every day since then that I’m sorry. I should never have let you walk out my door.”
If only he knew how much she’d wanted to hear those words these past weeks.
She smiled up at him. “You know they have these cool inventions called cell phones. You could have called.” He had her attention now, and for a moment she forgot about the cameras.
He shook his head. “Should have known you wouldn’t make this easy. You don’t call the woman you love to say you’re sorry over a phone, that’s like sending a text or an e-mail. I was a jerk, Cherry, not seeing what I had for fear of what might come.”
She put her fingers across his lips, stopping him from going any further. Screw the show. Jason hated this, the whole idea of strangers sharing their most intimate thoughts with millions. She couldn’t let him make the same mistake she had. “Jase, stop. Everything you say here will be heard by complete strangers, taken out of context and used against you at times. This isn’t the place to air your feelings.”
Gently he moved her hand, but not before kissing her fingertips. “These past weeks I’ve had time to do a lot of soul searching or, as Brody put it, growing up and letting go. I’ve never told you about my ex, Stephanie. We dated from the eighth grade. I thought we’d spend the rest of our lives together. We had a plan. Once the business was solid we’d get married. Then it changed. It was her idea to wait. She said she didn’t want to rush me.”
“Jason, you don’t have to tell me. Your past is the past, it doesn’t matter now.”
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