by Suzi Davis
“Will you join me, my beautiful Yankee girl?”
“Ha-ha,” I replied sarcastically. I smiled a little as I let my bag drop down beside his and took his hand, allowing him to help me up onto the rock where we both sat down facing one another cross-legged.
I was surprised by how comfortable a seat the smooth, hard rock made. It still felt as if it were vibrating with life, an energy radiating out from it that trembled throughout my bones and made my amber necklace feel almost as if it were throbbing with a similar energy. I could tell we were sitting at the focal point of the ring’s power and magic and I began to feel slightly doubtful and afraid. As always, Sebastian distracted me.
“What are you doing?” I asked as he began sliding his arms out of his thin, cotton shirt.
He pulled the shirt over his head and off before answering, his hair ruffled from the action.
“You’ll need to be able to see the designs of my tattoos if you’re going to attempt to decipher them,” he pointed out. He shivered slightly as he spoke, goose bumps already appearing on his lean, muscled arms as his skin was exposed to the cool evening air.
“You’re going to freeze.”
“I don’t want to freeze so I won’t. I don’t actually really want to be cold but I thought it might motivate you if I were a little uncomfortable,” he added with a cheeky grin. He leant forward and lightly kissed the tip of my nose. “Just try, Caoilinn. I want you to succeed.”
Sebastian shifted his body around so that his back was facing me. It was probably best that he missed seeing my expression after calling me by the wrong name. It concerned and scared me when he confused me with Caoilinn – I worried sometimes that he was losing his grip on reality, on the present. But even more than that, it hurt me when he called me by her name. It was a reminder that he still loved her, that he still saw us as one person when we were definitely not. I was not Caoilinn and I didn’t want to be her but I was afraid that was exactly what Sebastian might want.
I raked my fingers through my short, curly hair and squeezed my eyes tightly shut. How could I do this? How could I save us and keep Sebastian safe from the Others when I didn’t truly want to remember how to use my magic? I didn’t want to remember being Caoilinn. I was afraid to control my magic, afraid that I would become Caoilinn again and that I might lose what I thought to be my true self.
Sebastian sat up straighter and glanced over his shoulder at me.
“Gracelynn, are you alright?” he asked, his eyes softened with concern.
“I’m fine,” I quickly dismissed, brushing my hair back from my face with my fingers. “I just… I don’t know if I can do this. But I’ll try.”
Sebastian reached back to gently squeeze my hand, his touch warm and familiar, calming my soul.
“You can do it,” he quietly encouraged before slowly turning back around.
I wasn’t certain that I could but I knew I would have to try. There was no way I could disappoint Sebastian. And so I began studying the designs of the tattoo on his back, tracing the lines and curves with my fingers, committing each tiny and detailed part of the pattern to my memory until I felt like his tattoo had been burnt into the backs of my eyes. And still nothing happened.
“This isn’t working,” I announced after what felt like hours. The sky was black now, its emptiness filled with millions of pinpoints of flickering, bright white stars.
“Not entirely,” Sebastian agreed. He began tugging his shirt back over his head as he turned around. “I stayed reasonably warm the whole time.”
“Really?”
“Yes, but that might have been because I became numb after the first half hour or so.” He grinned cheekily at me. I tried to narrow my eyes into a glare but found myself smiling and entirely running the effect.
“You’re impossible,” I complained.
“I won’t deny it. Did you want to climb down?”
“We might as well.”
Sebastian helped me down from the capstone and then he retrieved our bags. I was surprised when he opened his and began pulling out our blankets and some of our sleeping things, as well as the sandwiches and snacks we’d forgotten to eat.
“What are you doing?”
“It’s late. I thought we should eat something and then get some rest. We’ll want to be up early if we’re going to take advantage of the last few hours of daylight before the Others arrive. And I think we’ll probably awake with the sun here,” he added, glancing around the large, open landscape, broken only by the gently, rolling hills and small pockets of trees.
“We’re going to sleep here?”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know.” I fumbled for words. “We only have a few hours before the Others catch up to us – shouldn’t we be doing something? Didn’t you say something about staying up all night?”
“What do you suggest we do?”
“Shouldn’t we be searching for more clues or running away or just doing… something?”
“We both want to be safe and we want to stop the Others, so we will. It’s all going to work out – it has to.”
“But‒”
“This is all we can do, Gracelynn.” Sebastian’s expression grew more serious. I was once again aware of the heavy weight in his eyes.
It felt like we were sitting around just waiting for our deaths but I knew he was right – what else could we do? I tried my best to have faith in his words but it was a lot more difficult to have faith in myself. I tried to calm the sense of panic creeping down upon me as I took a blanket and spread it out on the ground just a few feet away from the ancient henge.
I felt a bit calmer once I had eaten and was lying curled up against Sebastian’s side, a warm blanket tucked up under my chin and another blanket of stars spread out above me as far as I could see. I was tired but not sleepy. I tried to relax in Sebastian’s arms but my pulse began to slowly increase, my breath quickening as I became very aware of the sweet smell of his skin and the pounding of his own heart as my ear pressed against his chest. When he suddenly began to speak, it made me jump a little.
“Do you know why I love you?” He turned to look at me as he spoke, his face suddenly inches from mine. My breath caught in my chest, my heart pounding now as his handsome face filled my world and I felt myself becoming lost within his eyes. I found I couldn’t speak and when I didn’t answer, he slowly broke his eyes from mine, turning to gaze back at the never-ending sky stretched out above us.
“I love you for a million reasons – for every amazing and tiny part of you that makes you, you. I love your passion for life. I love how you’re unable to love with anything less than your whole heart. I love how complicated you are, how dependable and how unpredictable you are to me still. I love your quiet strength and your stubborn, strong-will. I love your good-nature. I love how sensitive you are and how good you think you are at hiding it. I love how pure your joy is over the smallest and simplest of things – a sunny day, a smile, a starry, moonlit night…”
I gasped in wonder as each and every one of the stars above us began to swell at his words. The stars glowed and sparkled even brighter as they bathed the night in a magical, silvery light.
Sebastian slowly sat up, pulling me along with him. And despite the absolutely breath-taking starlit sky and the night full of magic and wonders around us, I could look nowhere but at him. His expression was tender but serious, his eyes full of emotions so complex there were no words that existed to describe them. He reached out to take both my hands in his. I was surprised and confused to notice the slight tremble to his touch.
“I love how important family is to you, despite the way your own has treated you. I love how you try to see the good in everyone and how unconditional your love is, once earned.” He squeezed my hands tightly as his voice ever-so-slightly trembled. “I know how much your father’s approval means to you still, and that’s why I waited until I could do this with his permission. So that I could ask you properly, as you requested.”
&n
bsp; I watched in wonder as he let go of my hands and reached into his jeans pocket. My mind wasn’t really processing what he was saying and what he was doing until he pulled out the tiny, shimmering, silver ring.
He held it before me almost uncertainly, his eyes studying every expression on my face.
I stared at the ring in complete shock. It was beautiful. It was a thin, silver band that twisted in and around itself to form a simple yet beautiful Celtic love knot, almost identical in design to the ring that I already wore but this one was smaller, more delicate and definitely more feminine. Several small diamonds were trapped within the twists of the knot, sparkling as brightly as the stars in the heavens above as they appeared to be braided into the ring’s intricate twists.
My heart pounded in my chest, my breath caught in my throat, my hands began to tremble as the night wind slowly rose and swelled, stirring my hair and sending shivers down my spine. The ancient magic in the air swirled all around me, rushing through my heart and soul and bringing shimmering tears to my eyes.
I met Sebastian’s gaze and a sudden calm settled over me. I could see the thousands of words on his lips, the millions of promises in his eyes as he took a slow, shaky breath and reached for my hand.
“Marry me?”
Those two simple words conveyed a thousand different things. The world hung on my response, the night suddenly silent, the wind still, the stars pausing in their flickering. Sebastian seemed to be holding his breath.
Wordlessly, I slid his heavy, amber ring off my finger and carefully handed it back to him. There was only one possible answer. And as I spoke the word, I felt it carry through the air on an ancient magic, older and quite possibly more powerful than our own. The word reverberated from my lips throughout The Giant’s Ring, my solemn vow witnessed by the sky, the earth, the air.
“Yes.”
Shooting stars exploded throughout the sky, a sudden warm gust of wind swirled around us and spiraled up to the heavens, catching and intertwining our breaths. And Sebastian’s joyful laugh joined my own as he slid the beautiful silver band onto my finger and we tumbled to the ground in each other’s arms, the magic of The Giant’s Ring and the night itself, alive and flowing through us both.
Chapter Eight – Mistaken
Sebastian and I spent most of the night talking, our discussions ranging from idle to intense. Despite the seriousness of our situation, I felt surprisingly light-hearted, laughing - even giggling, and enjoying myself in a way that I hadn’t in a long time. Sebastian appeared more relaxed and happier than I had seen in a while too. It reminded me of the early days of our friendship and it was a happy reminder that I definitely needed.
It was a night of joy and celebration, and a night of passion. At times I became so lost in the ecstasy of his touch that I could barely speak or breathe. I clung to him, never wanting his kisses to end, never wanting to let go. These intoxicating moments stretched into forever, until I remembered a little self-control. It was a strange sensation to have to remind myself that I wanted to wait until after we were married to give myself to him entirely and in the back of my mind, I found myself beginning to question why?
Eventually we fell asleep, tangled in our blankets and each other’s arms. We must have both wanted a peaceful rest as Sebastian slept soundly without any of his nightmare disturbances and my dreams were both lucid and calm.
I woke just before dawn, warm and safe, at peace in Sebastian’s embrace. The sweet scent of grass hovered in the early morning air as the eastern sky began to lighten. I watched in wonder as the night’s stars winked out one by one, enchanted by this magical moment in the calm before dawn. As the sky and day awakened, I admired my engagement ring, hardly believing how perfect and magical a night it had been. I became lost in pleasant, sleepy thoughts as the world around me began to stir – birds called out their happy trills, the sky shifted from midnight blue to a pure and clear azure, and the silvery dew that clung to the blades of grass around us began to slide down towards the awaiting earth. I closed my eyes and sighed happily, smiling as Sebastian’s arm gently tightened around my waist.
“Good morning beautiful wife,” he whispered sleepily in my ear, his warm, gentle breath tickling my skin.
I giggled, a happy joy bubbling up within me at his words. “Not yet – but soon.”
“You’re worth waiting forever for.”
I turned my head to meet his lips and for a short time, I became lost in oblivion again. I found myself light-headed and breathless when we finally broke apart. We were lying face to face now, staring into each other’s eyes. Sebastian gently stroked the side of my face, his touch so careful and thrilling.
“The sun is rising, we should go.” It was his suggestion but I could clearly hear and sense his reluctance. A small quiver of fear hit me as I realized that our magical night was over, and I remembered what dangers today might bring. I had somehow managed to thoroughly forget about the Others, because I had wanted to forget I supposed. But now reality was returning like the crack of a whip. I wanted to flinch back from the truth and hide but hiding was obviously no longer an option.
“Where will we go?” I sat up as I spoke and began shaking out and folding the blankets. I felt the definite need to keep my hands busy in an attempt to distract myself from the panic hovering at the edges of my thoughts.
“I don’t know,” he admitted. He caught my hand and waited until I met his gaze, his eyes steady and calm. “It’s going to be okay, Gracelynn, I promise. They don’t outnumber us yet, our wants still overpower theirs. There’s still time to find the answer.”
“Not much time,” I pointed out and it was true. I could feel the seconds ticking away now with each fraction of an inch the sun rose higher, its bright warmth and fiery rays cracking the sky open in a blaze of glowing color along the horizon.
“True,” he agreed. “Let’s get moving then.”
We packed up the rest of our things then walked across the ring to the closest path up the outer bank. I wanted to change my clothes and freshen up but it had felt decidedly wrong to do so within the ring’s sacred boundaries. Luckily there were public bathrooms set up near the parking lot that we went to use. I dressed in lighter clothes than the day before, sensing that it was going to be hotter. I still chose a thin, long-sleeved t-shirt to accompany my shorts, wanting to hide the tattoo that snaked up and around my arm as much as possible. I pulled my hair up and back into a tight ponytail, quickly scrubbed my teeth with my toothbrush and splashed the remaining water in my water bottle on my face. I felt refreshed but only slightly calmer as I came out of the washroom and rejoined Sebastian. He grinned at me as I approached and pointed towards the far end of the parking lot.
“Look.”
A large green tour bus was unexpectedly approaching the parking lot, speeding along the straight and narrow road between the farmers’ fields. I couldn’t imagine what a tour bus was doing at The Giant’s Ring so early in the morning. I jogged after Sebastian as he went to find out.
As soon as the bus stopped, its doors opened and sleepy-looking tourists began slowly coming down the steps. Sebastian greeted the tourists with polite smiles and murmured greetings but it was obvious the driver was his real interest. The minute the tall, thin man began descending, Sebastian launched into a friendly-sounding babble. The driver’s greenish-blue eyes darted my way several times as Sebastian spoke and his laughter boomed out over the parking lot, a surprisingly loud sound for such a thin man. They were both grinning like long-lost friends within minutes and the driver finally said something in English as he stepped away from the bus and lit a cigarette.
“Your welcome t’join us. We’ll be takin’ off again in an hour once this lot’s had their fill of the ring at dawn,” he told us both, speaking around the cigarette that hung from his lips.
“My thanks, sir,” Sebastian held out his hand and shook the other man’s hand vigorously. “Would you mind if we wait on the bus? We’ve seen enough of the ring.”
; “Sure, sure.”
The driver waved us towards the still-open bus door and began slowly walking away, taking long, slow draughts of his smoke.
I followed Sebastian up the steps and onto the cool bus, sliding into one of the front seats beside him.
“What was that all about?”
He grinned at me, cheerfully. “Well, apparently this bus of tourists is on its way north to the coast of Antrim and specifically, The Giant’s Causeway. There’s room on board and since we’re newly engaged, the driver wanted to help us celebrate by offering us a free ride.”
“What? Really?” I could hardly believe it was going to be that easy.
“Yes, and since our wants are still controlling our destiny, what we want to find must be further north. It makes sense to go to Clochan na bhFomharach - The Giant’s Causeway,” he translated, when he realized he’d slipped back into Irish. “The rock formations there are millions of years old and virtually unchanged from our time. It’s not a sacred place but a place of legends and natural wonder, and it’s not too far from where my village and the Sisters’ temple once stood.”
“Are there any remnants of the temple?” I asked, picking up on his excitement. To my disappointment, he shook his head.
“No, the village and temple were lost many centuries ago – not a trace remains of either,” he told me, a touch of sadness to his voice. “The tree that marked Caoilinn’s grave is long gone too… it’s all been lost to time.”
A forlorn silence settled over us both. I wondered at what it would be like for your birth place, your home to slowly vanish and be completely forgotten. In a way, I hoped I would never find out.
“Tell me about The Giant’s Causeway,” I requested, hoping to distract both Sebastian and myself. He smiled at me in amusement as if he knew exactly what I was trying to do but he answered anyway.
