by David Warner
‘Not about cricket,’ George said.
The bowler ran in and let the ball fly.
Mo ran forward, holding his bat as if he was playing ping pong. He swung at the ball, which sailed past him and straight into the wicket-keeper’s gloves. Mo was halfway down the pitch as the wicket-keeper casually stumped him.
He was out for a golden duck.
The Batfish jumped for joy.
Mo turned and looked behind him, then threw his bat on the ground and stormed off.
Davey sighed loudly. ‘Well, that’s it, then. All out for sixty-nine. We’re done like a dinner.’
‘At least he didn’t get a chance to say much out there,’ Sunil said.
‘He couldn’t have anyway,’ George said. ‘Check him out.’
Now only metres away, they could see that his cheeks were bulging so much he really did look like a pufferfish.
‘Whopper Chomps,’ Sunil whispered.
‘You’re my one, my only-y-y-y-y –’
Davey turned. Tay was back at it. He groaned.
Ms Maro clapped her hands. ‘Tay, quiet for a moment, please.’ She smiled. ‘Now, everyone, gather round.’
The players dragged themselves to their feet and formed a ragged circle around the teacher.
‘You all did a great job out there,’ Ms Maro said as she offered around the oranges. ‘Ivy, Tay and Davey, in particular, were wonderful!’ Ms Maro’s brown eyes sparkled as if she’d just seen a fairy at the bottom of the garden. ‘Now we need to stay focused, and remember all those things we’ve been practising around catching and throwing.’
‘Yes, Ms Maro.’ The team tried to sound enthusiastic, but everyone knew they’d need a miracle to save this one.
‘Now, Sunil, how do you want to set the field?’ Ms Maro handed the captain the shiny new ball.
Davey jumped in. ‘Can I go deep cover?’ he said, wiggling his eyebrows at Sunil. Now that Tay was out of Whopper Chomps, he most definitely wanted to be well out of range of her singing.
Sunil nodded and winked. ‘Sure. And Clouter, you’re at deep fine leg – over there.’ Sunil pointed.
Davey figured his friend was hoping to keep Mo out of earshot of the other team.
Mo nodded. His cheeks were still bulging with lollies and now Davey noticed his pockets were bulging too. There was no way he’d be able to say boo, let alone bother anyone, with those in his mouth.
Sunil quickly set the rest of his field and they all moved to their positions.
‘Just pick up your phone and make that call . . .’
As Tay took up her spot behind the batting wicket and Ivy went to stand at first slip, the two girls continued to sing that awful B4U song. But when at last Davey reached his place at deep cover, he could no longer hear them. He let out a sigh. Phew!
Batfish Beach’s opening batters wandered out to take their places. Sunil bowled first, starting with a fast good-length ball outside off stump. The batter seemed unsure whether to move forward or back and in the end let it go through to Tay, who caught it effortlessly.
Sunil’s second ball seemed to have the same effect: the batter looked fidgety, unsure, and when he tried to make a shot he missed.
By the middle of the second over, the opening batter was out.
When the next Batfish fronted up at the crease, she too seemed unable to find a rhythm. Sunil adjusted his field, ordering everyone in closer – except Davey and Mo – to put further pressure on the Batfish batters.
Soon a second batter was out, for a total of only fourteen runs. And then a third, caught in slips by Ivy Mundine for six.
Out at deep cover, Davey couldn’t really see why things were going so badly for the Batfish. Usually, they were strong in the batting department, probably more so than their bowling. But not today.
In the end, the Batfish middle order crumbled like a cupcake and, with just two batters left, they’d scored a measly thirty-two runs.
As their number ten batter came to the crease, Sunil ordered everyone closer. ‘Warner!’ he called. ‘Your turn to bowl!’
Davey raised his eyebrows. He didn’t always get a bowl in real matches, but he liked to keep his hand in if he could.
He crossed the field towards the bowler’s wicket. As he drew closer, he became aware of the sound of Tay’s voice.
‘You’re my one, my only bab-by-y-y-y.’ Clearly she hadn’t stopped for the entire time the Batfish had been batting.
Sunil tossed him the ball.
Davey glanced across at Mo, who was now standing at square leg. The great galoot was still sucking on lollies. His dentist will love him, Davey thought.
Davey paced out his run-up and marked the spot. He could still hear Tay singing, but for some reason, when he was bowling, it didn’t bother him.
He ran in and bowled a leg-spinner. The batter tried to block it and missed. Tay caught it and in a trice the ball was back with Davey.
This time, Davey put more topspin on the ball, causing it to drop quickly and bounce high. The batter misjudged it, moving forward to drive, but hitting it in the air into the covers. Sunil was there to catch it.
‘Out!’
The batter trudged off. There was one Batfish left.
‘Keep going, Warner!’ Sunil gave him the thumbs-up.
‘If you care, if you care at all . . .’
Tay was half-humming, half-singing as she once more got into position behind the wicket. It wasn’t particularly loud or annoying, Davey realised now, unless you happened to be batting! Still, he felt sorry for the Batfish team’s last batter.
Davey ran over to Tay. ‘Stop singing!’ he whispered in her ear.
Tay looked at him in surprise. ‘Oh sure! Sorry!’
Davey zipped back to the bowler’s end and walked to his mark. He turned and eyed the Batfish batter. Behind the wicket, Tay was silent.
Davey ran in and bowled a googly. The batter thought it was spinning to the off side. He played at it, but the ball had already turned in the other direction, inside the bat, and it hit the wicket. The bails tumbled.
The Batfish were all out for thirty-two.
CHAPTER 14
THE SANDHILL FLATS SINGERS
‘Three cheers for everyone!’ Ms Maro threw her arms wide, her face beaming. ‘Hip hip hooray!’ everyone shouted as enthusiastically as they could. Only Mo was silent, still sucking on a Whopper Chomp.
‘Mo, I think you’ve had enough of those lollies,’ Ms Maro said, patting him on the back. ‘They’re bad for your teeth.’
Mo gulped and swallowed. He looked a little green around the gills. Davey guessed that eighty Whopper Chomps in one afternoon would do that to you.
‘Still, you’ve been quiet as a mouse, haven’t you?’ Ms Maro flashed Mo a lovely smile.
Davey glanced at Sunil. Ms Maro really was cleverer than she let on.
Sunil made as if to wipe his brow. Davey grimaced at his friend in agreement. He still couldn’t believe they’d won. Not after everything that had gone wrong.
The team formed two straggly lines and followed Ms Maro back across the park towards school.
As they crossed Flatter Drive, Davey heard the school bell sound. ‘So, what happened to McNab, I wonder,’ he said.
‘Ask him.’
Davey looked up. Sure enough, there was Kevin, wearing dress pants and a red satin shirt.
‘How’d you go?’ Kevin called as they approached.
‘We won, no thanks to you, McNab,’ Sunil barked. ‘What happened?’
‘Spider thing didn’t work – at all! Dunno why. Mum just rolled her eyes, grabbed me by my collar and frog-marched me to the bus stop. It was weird. So I had to dance instead. Sorry.’
He held up the Vegemite jar. ‘Here’s your spider, Warner, safe and sound.’
Davey took the jar and peered into it. The spider was still playing dead. ‘Think I might let him out here. Mum doesn’t want him at home.’ Davey bent down, unscrewed the lid and shook out the jar. As soon as the spider
hit the ground, it scuttled off into the grass.
Ms Maro clapped her hands. ‘Now, grab your bags from your classroom and then off you go and have a lovely weekend. You deserve it, guys!’
Davey and his friends set off across the quadrangle towards 6M’s room.
Kevin went with them. ‘So how did Clouter go?’ he said quietly.
‘I took care of him.’ Tay was just behind them, walking with her new best friend, Ivy.
Sunil and Davey turned to stare at her. ‘You?’
‘Mo told me he was going to annoy the Batfish and lose us the match. So I gave him all the Whopper Chomps that you gave me, Sunil.’ Tay smiled. ‘That shut him up.’
Davey nodded. ‘Sure did.’ He narrowed his eyes. ‘But I thought you liked Mo . . .’
‘Nah, not really. Shania was right. He’s a bit, well, thick.’
‘Sure is,’ Ivy said. ‘For one thing, he hates cricket.’
Tay put her hand in her shorts pocket. ‘Here, I saved the last one for you, Davey,’ she said, pulling out a Whopper Chomp and handing it to him. ‘For getting you into trouble. It should have been me polishing the bowls and sorting the paperclips. Sorry.’ She flashed him a wide smile.
Davey shrugged. ‘It’s okay. Wasn’t your fault. Mr Mudge is just a total . . .’
‘Mudge!’ they all yelled at once.
‘Yes?’ Mudge had appeared out of nowhere. ‘What are you lot doing on school grounds? It’s home time. Scoot!’ The teacher’s ears were already turning magenta.
Without saying anything, everyone ran to the classroom and grabbed their bags.
‘Bye, guys!’ Tay and Ivy waved before wandering off, arm in arm, singing. ‘You’re my one, my only, b-a-a-b-b-b-y-y-y!’
‘How could anyone like that song?’ Davey frowned. ‘And what do they see in that band? Four guys in stupid clothes singing stupid songs in stupid voices. Why do girls like that stuff?’
Sunil grimaced. ‘No idea.’
‘Nah, me neither,’ George said, shrugging. ‘It’s weird.’
‘Totally weird,’ Kevin agreed.
They turned and headed for the bike racks. Davey heard a familiar bark. Max was tearing across the playground to meet them.
‘War-ner!!!’ It was Mudge. ‘What’s that dog doing on school grounds?!!’
‘So, why do you reckon the Batfish batting order collapsed like that?’ Davey looked across at his best friend. They were lying on the grass out the front, sucking on an ice-block and intermittently throwing balls for Max to chase.
‘Gotta thank Tay for that, I think.’ Sunil smiled.
Davey took a big bite out of his ice-block and sucked and crunched on it thoughtfully. ‘Yeah, well, she’s a good wicket-keeper,’ he said. ‘She’s at least as good as Dylan – probably better.’
‘She is, but that’s not why we won.’ Sunil eyed Davey. ‘You know how you hate her singing when you’re batting? Well, you’re not alone. Those Batfish couldn’t concentrate.’
‘Ah!’ Davey had suspected as much. ‘So why didn’t the umpire tell her to stop?’
‘’Cause he couldn’t really hear her from the other end. It’s only annoying if you’re batting.’
Max dropped the ball by Davey’s hand. It was covered in dog slobber. ‘Eeewww!’ He picked it up and threw it as far as he could. ‘At least Mo couldn’t annoy the Batfish,’ he said as Max ran off after the ball. ‘He was too busy sucking on lollies.’
Davey looked at Sunil. ‘And anyway, it’s okay to sing, isn’t it?’
‘Course it is! Especially if you’re good at it.’
‘Yeah, that’s what I thought.’ Davey slurped his ice-block loudly. ‘And Tay’s good at it. She should go on that TV show – Total Talent Time.’
‘She should,’ Sunil said, doing an even louder slurp. ‘And I really like that B4U song she sings. It’s great.’
‘Sure is! I’ve always liked it.’ Davey grinned.
‘Just pick up your phone and make that call!’ they sang together in their loudest, most chipmunky voices.
Max looked out from the bushes and howled.
‘See? Even Max can sing, the melodious mutt!’
Max howled again. ‘Aaahhhooo!’
‘Keep it down!’ Davey and Sunil shouted.
ALSO BY DAVID WARNER
THE KABOOM KID: THE BIG SWITCH
THE KABOOM KID: PLAYING UP
THE KABOOM KID: KEEP IT DOWN!
First published in Australia in 2015 by
Simon & Schuster (Australia) Pty Limited
Suite 19A, Level 1, 450 Miller Street, Cammeray, NSW 2062
www.SimonandSchuster.com
A CBS Company
Sydney New York London Toronto New Delhi
Visit our website at www.simonandschuster.com.au
© David Warner and J.V. McGee 2015
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission of the publisher.
National Library of Australia Cataloguing-in-Publication entry
Creator: Warner, David Andrew, author.
Title: The kaboom kid: keep it down!/David Warner and J.V. McGee.
ISBN: 9781925030822 (paperback)
9781925030839 (ebook)
Target Audience: For children.
Subjects: Warner, David Andrew.
Cricket–Australia–Juvenile literature.
Cricket players–Australia–Juvenile literature.
Cricket–Batting–Juvenile literature.
Other Authors/Contributors: McGee, J. V., author.
Dewey Number: 796.3580994
Cover and internal design by Hannah Janzen
Cover and internal illustrations by Jules Faber
Inside cover photograph of adult David Warner by © Quinn Rooney/Getty Images
