‘No, Andrew,’ she replied, moving towards the window. ‘I can’t deny it—it was good between us for a time. But that was then. There is no us now.’
‘But there could be,’ he argued. ‘If it was good once, it could be again!’
‘No, Andrew. It couldn’t because I don’t trust you any more.’
‘But you would, Lindsay—’
‘No, I wouldn’t. I would always be wondering where you were, who you were with and whether or not you’d do it again. I’m sorry, Andrew, but it really is over.’
‘But I thought you loved me.’
‘So did I.’
He stared at her in apparent exasperation. ‘I still say this whole thing is ridiculous,’ he said at last. ‘If you were only to stop all this nonsense and come right back to London with me now then we could start again.’
For one moment Lindsay almost felt sorry for him, but she knew she had to make him understand. Taking a deep breath, she said, ‘I’m sorry you’ve come all this way for nothing, Andrew—’
‘It needn’t be that way.’ He persisted.
‘But, you see,’ she carried on, not giving him a chance to say any more, ‘there’s something you don’t know…’
‘Are you all right, Lindsay?’ It was some time later and Henry had come into the study after seeing Andrew out to his car.
‘Yes,’ she replied with a sigh, ‘I’m OK.’ She felt exhausted really but at the same time curiously satisfied, as if some unfinished issue had finally been resolved.
‘He’s gone,’ said Henry.
‘I hope he doesn’t intend driving all the way back to London tonight,’ Lindsay replied wearily.
‘No, I persuaded him to check into a hotel I know in Llangollen.’
‘I told him it was over before I came here, Henry.’
‘Yes, I know you did. It seems he just wasn’t prepared to take no for an answer.’
‘I think it was more a case of injured pride. I doubt if Andrew Barlow has ever been turned down before in his life. But at least it’s proved one thing to me.’
‘Oh?’ said Henry, ‘and what’s that?’
‘I really am over him,’ Lindsay replied. ‘When I first came here, although I knew in my heart that the relationship was over, I wasn’t sure I was over him, if you know what I mean.’
‘Ah,’ said Henry knowingly. ‘In my experience, the only cure for a broken heart is to love again.’
Lindsay smiled and turned towards the door. ‘Where’s Aidan, Henry?’ she asked.
‘He’s gone home, Lindsay. He left as soon as he knew who your visitor was. I told him I would take you home.’
‘Thank you, Henry. But I don’t want to go the flat.’
‘Now, how did I know that was what you were going to say? Come on, we’ll go now. Megan will be all right for a while.’
Together they left the house, and almost in silence Henry drove her to Aidan’s cottage. When they were nearly there he threw Lindsay a sidelong glance. ‘I never did get around to asking Aidan the purpose of your visit. Somehow I can’t imagine it was simply to tell me that Clarrie had given birth to a daughter, delightful as that news is, of course.’
‘You’re quite right, Henry—that wasn’t the reason for our visit,’ Lindsay replied.
‘So are you going to tell me what it was?’
She took a deep breath. ‘Yes, all right,’ she said at last. ‘Although somehow I have the feeling you know anyway…’
Henry dropped her off on the road above the cottage, at the top of the steps. It was twilight by this time and in spite of a single lamp that burned on the wall she had to take care of the steep steps so as not to lose her footing. By the time she reached the door the dogs had heralded her approach. She lifted her hand and knocked. The dogs continued to bark from inside the cottage and for a moment she thought Aidan wasn’t there. It was true that his Land Rover hadn’t been up on the road but she knew that at night he usually parked it in the lane at the front of the cottage.
He had to be there, she thought in growing desperation. She had to see him. Now, tonight, she had to see him. God only knew what he was thinking, with Andrew turning up like that out of the blue. Why, he might even now be thinking that she was preparing to return to London and pick up the threads of her old life. Frantically she hammered again on the door and inside the dogs almost went demented.
Lindsay had just about given up, convinced that he wasn’t there, when she heard a sound behind her and she spun round. He was walking towards her up through the tangled darkness of the garden.
‘Aidan. Oh, Aidan,’ she gasped in relief. ‘I didn’t think you were here.’
‘I went for a walk.’ He spoke abruptly, before growling a single command to the dogs who instantly fell silent.
‘Without the dogs?’ she said incredulously. It was unheard of for Aidan to go anywhere, especially for a walk, without his dogs.
‘I needed some space to think.’ He stopped in front of her, his gaze meeting hers in the eerie light. A moth fluttered above their heads and darted around the lamp on the wall.
‘Did you come to any conclusions?’ she asked softly.
‘I didn’t know what to think.’ His voice was hoarse, gruff.
‘And now?’
‘I still don’t know what to think.’ He inhaled sharply. ‘If you’ve come to tell me you’ve changed your mind, can we get it over quickly?’
‘Oh, Aidan. Is that what you think?’ Reaching out her hand, she touched his cheek. It felt rough, the stubble reminding her that it had been a long day.
‘I told you, I don’t know what to think.’ Grasping Lindsay’s hand in his, he held it against his face, the gesture somehow both tender and desperate.
‘But I told you before that that particular relationship was over.’
‘You also said you weren’t sure you were over him…so when he turns up here how am I to know what to think?’
‘But when I told you that, it was before…before you and I…’
‘What are you saying, Lindsay?’ He gripped both her hands tightly.
‘That I love you, Aidan. I love you and I want to be with you. I thought I was in love with Andrew once, but he killed that love and since I’ve met you I’ve realised the love I feel for you is so much more.’
He continued to stare at her in the half-light then with a sort of groan of desperation he stepped forward and roughly pulled her into his arms.
In the moment before his mouth covered hers she told herself that this was truly where she was meant to be, and the shaft of desire deep inside, which was now becoming very familiar, simply confirmed that fact.
When at last they drew apart it was Lindsay who spoke first. ‘Henry knows about us, Aidan.’ Her voice sounded shaky.
‘Yes, I rather gathered he knew by his manner towards me when you went in with…with him…’ Aidan obviously had difficulty in saying Andrew’s name.
‘His manner?’
‘Yes, sort of fatherly.’
‘Bless him.’ Lindsay smiled in the darkness. ‘I got the impression he’s known all along. In fact, I would go so far as to say that it was what he and Megan were hoping might happen. I dare say they’re celebrating at this very moment.’
‘So you don’t think there’ll be any objections about me being your trainer?’
‘I asked him that and he said, no, not as far as he was concerned, and as long as we carried out our duties properly he couldn’t see that anyone else would be bothered either.’
‘We’ll do that, won’t we?’ Drawing her into his arms again, he kissed her forehead, then the tip of her nose.
‘But of course.’
They were silent for a moment, safe in each other’s arms. The only sounds around them were those of a summer’s night—small scurryings in the undergrowth and the distant call of an owl. For Lindsay it seemed a million miles away from her old life in London, but at the same time it felt utterly right. She knew she’d never been so sure about anythin
g or anyone in her whole life as she was at this moment, in this garden, with this man.
‘I don’t know why we’re standing out here,’ said Aidan at last.
‘I think it’s rather romantic,’ Lindsay replied softly.
‘Maybe,’ Aidan agreed. ‘But I can think of somewhere even more romantic.’ Turning, he opened the cottage door. Taking Lindsay’s hand, he drew her inside, before closing the door firmly behind them.
ISBN: 978-1-4603-5646-3
MEDIC ON APPROVAL
First North American Publication 2001
Copyright © 2001 by Laura MacDonald
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