by Sara V. Zook
“What the—?” The jealous feeling I had had the night before intensified by a hundred. My heart pumped wildly within my chest, and before I knew what I was doing, I was crawling out of my car, leaving the door wide open, as I sprinted down the side of the street still wearing that black dress and heels from the night before.
Mark’s eyes grew wide when he saw me coming. My hair was now almost fully dried. It was frizzy and unkempt. Mark stepped in front of the Hispanic woman. She didn’t even see me coming as I immediately attacked Mark. I slapped at him, clawed him, spit at him.
“How dare you do this to me!” I shrieked. “You fucking asshole! I hate you! I hate you!”
He struggled to grab onto my wrists as I continued to thrash my arms around, even kicking him now with my pointy shoes in his shins as he cried out in pain. The Hispanic woman was now hysterically yelling at me in Spanish as she tried to get a few hits in on me around Mark’s back.
“Stop!” Mark yelled as he pushed me backward. The heel of my shoe caught a hole in the cracked cement of the sidewalk and broke. It sent me sprawling onto my butt. I could barely feel the pain though as the adrenaline and rage still persisted. “What the hell is the matter with you?”
I glared up at him as I got back to my feet. Unbalanced by the broken heel, I fumbled to undo the straps of the shoes and remove them completely. “Who’s she?” I asked, glaring at the woman.
“Me?” She flipped her long hair angrily behind her back as she put her hands on her wide hips. “Who are you?”
Mark looked between us both, pressing his lips together without knowing what to say.
“I’m his wife!” I screamed out.
“What?” the woman asked, her eyes looking to Mark also for an explanation. “Your wife, Mark? You’re married?”
“That’s his baby, isn’t it?” I huffed with the shoes in my hands, my bare feet on the cruddy cement as I gestured toward her protruding stomach.
Her hands moved protectively in front of her as her eyebrows lowered.
“Listen,” Mark began, a sly smirk crossing his lips, “she has a doctor’s appointment this morning. I was just helping her out by taking her.”
“That’s your baby, isn’t it, Mark?” I repeated.
The woman frowned as she rubbed her belly. “Why did you keep this from me, Mark?”
I shook my head as laughter now overcame me, belted out from me as I threw up my hands in surrender toward the sky. “You’ve never slept with anyone else since you’ve been with me,” I reiterated to him.
He didn’t know what to say. He had no excuse for this one.
“You’re such a dick.” I pointed the shoes his way. “This is what you spend my money on, isn’t it, this fat Spanish whore?”
“You call me a whore?” The woman spit at me.
“Me and you—we’re done,” I said. “Don’t even think about coming home.”
“Everything’s half mine, Lilah,” he reminded me, his voice threatening. “I’ll clean you out. You’ll have nothing.”
“Oh, you did that a long time ago.” I started to head back to my car as I continued to laugh at how funny this situation was. Mark got some Hispanic woman knocked up. All this time he’d been with her—and me. I felt even more disgusting. What an idiot I was. I tossed my shoes into my car and started the engine. I pushed down the accelerator and sped past the pale yellow house. Mark was still standing there, holding the pregnant woman tight and comforting her with his lies, both of their eyes on me as I went by. Yeah, I was definitely going to get that STD screening now.
13
CAIN
I pulled my cousin’s car up to Carmine’s house. I had picked it up this morning from the auto shop. Last night, I had been handed a cell phone from Seton. He said it was mine to keep, to always keep it on me. Then I had gotten a text to meet Remmy here at Carmine’s at 9:00 sharp. I glanced down at the cell phone. I was right on time. I still wasn’t sure about this whole thing they wanted me involved with. I saw Remmy was waiting for me outside. I had planned on telling him I was headed back to Lazerne today and to take their cell phone back.
Remmy headed my way as I got out of the car.
“This yours?” he asked, raising his eyebrows at the piece of crap car.
“My cousin’s.”
Remmy nodded and kept his distance from the vehicle as if he’d catch some disease if he got too close. “You ready to take the dive, Cain?”
I cocked my head to the side. “What dive is that?” I looked up to a large window in the mansion. There stood Carmine, puffing on a cigar as he stared back at me.
“I handle the finances around here.” Remmy pulled his suit jacket closer around him as the wind picked up a little. “So I need to know your decision, Cain.”
I ran a hand through my brown hair and sighed. “Yeah, Seton mentioned that to me last night. I just think I should head back to Lazerne, check in on my mom and stuff.”
“In this car?” Remmy asked, wrinkling up his nose once again at Stan’s vehicle.
“Yeah, this car,” I replied, starting to get a little pissed off at the way he was snubbing it. It was just a car. It could get you from point A to point B. That’s all that mattered to me right now.
“Wouldn’t you rather be driving something…dependable?”
“Well, yeah, who wouldn’t?” I frowned. “But not all of us can be rich.”
Remmy snorted. “Really? You don’t have the opportunity to be rich? Carmine invited you in with open arms. He doesn’t just do that with everyone. Actually, he doesn’t do that with anyone,” he explained, as if I should be kissing the ground and thanking the gods that Carmine had found such favor in me.
My eyes shifted back to the window where Carmine had been standing. He wasn’t there anymore. “I don’t know why everyone is making such a big deal about that, and I don’t know why he’s doing it anyway. Doesn’t make sense.”
Remmy’s face grew angry. “You know who Carmine is?”
“Some powerful rich dude,” I listed off.
“Yeah, a powerful rich dude,” Remmy repeated in a snide tone as he mocked me. “He owns this city. He owns us all. If he takes interest in you, you should be fuckin’ grateful, and yeah, I have no idea either why he wants a bratty nobody like you.”
“Bratty?” I raised my eyebrows. That was the first time anyone had ever used that word to describe me. It took me off guard. I didn’t have shit in my life to be considered bratty.
“You look down your nose at us.”
I chuckled. “Listen, you have it all wrong, man. It’s just not the lifestyle for me.”
“Carmine not only can make you rich, Cain, he can make you somebody in this city. Who wouldn’t want that? But hey, if you want to get back into that shitty car and drive back to Lazerne, go right ahead. I’ll go in and tell Carmine that you’re not interested in buying a new house today or a new car.” Remmy crossed his arms in front of him, his stare intense and still full of anger toward me.
I still hadn’t gotten over the fact he had called me bratty. “What kind of new car?” I blurted out, my heart rate spiking at the idea of having something like that of my own.
Remmy rolled his eyes. “Any new car would be better than this.” He gestured again to Stan’s car.
“True.” I laughed, crossing my arms in front of my chest.
He tapped his glossy black shoes on the blacktop. “Well? What do I tell Carmine?”
I bit my bottom lip. This was it. I had all intentions of rejecting any offers today. I didn’t want involved, but I had to admit, the words new house and new car sounded pretty damn good. That jealousy that had always filled me, overwhelmed me, could disappear. “Why me? Why does he want me?”
“No idea.” Remmy was blunt. He didn’t know. Seton didn’t know. Only Carmine knew.
I sighed. “Fine.”
Remmy raised his eyebrows.
“I’m in. Tell Carmine I’m in.” My stomach did little flip-flops. I had no idea why I
didn’t have the willpower to say no, but Carmine did have money, he did have power, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t want a little taste of all that. I had nothing in Lazerne but a past, and other than my mom, there was nothing there waiting for me to get back to. I knew what I had just accepted. I wasn’t stupid. I had just taken on the life. Guns and parties were now a part of my immediate future. I was scared, but only a little, because right now all I could feel was the excitement of sliding into the seat of a brand new sports car and knowing it was all mine.
Remmy picked up his briefcase that had been sitting on the blacktop. “I’ll let Carmine know you’ve accepted a place among us.”
A place among us. The words ran through my mind, but then that image of a new car flashed in front of it.
Remmy got out his cell phone from the inside pocket of his jacket and put it up to his ear. He walked away from me as he talked. I guessed he was speaking to Carmine.
The front door of the mansion opened up and out strolled a robust woman with black leather pants and a long-sleeved shirt covered with a scarf. Her gray-streaked hair blew back in the breeze as she walked while puffing on a cigarette—Lola, Remmy’s wife. Her eyes skimmed over her husband, who had his back facing us, as she stepped up beside me.
“You’re Nicky, right?” she asked, smoke pouring out from her nostrils.
“That’s me.”
“Lola.” She extended her hand out to me to shake, every finger covered in multiple rings.
I shook her hand as Remmy placed his phone back in his jacket and came over to us.
“What’s going on?” Lola asked him.
“Looks like I’m taking Mr. Cain here house and car shopping today,” Remmy replied.
Lola smiled. “Wow.” She seemed impressed. “Mind if I tag along?”
“This doesn’t involve you,” Remmy scolded her.
Lola ignored him. She looked at me and gave me a large smile exposing that huge dimple in her cheek.
I shrugged, smiling back. “Doesn’t matter to me.”
“He said it doesn’t matter to him, Remmy,” she told him as if he hadn’t heard it for himself.
Remmy sighed. “Fine. I’ll go get a car.” He stomped off.
It was a short drive to the house Remmy had chosen for me. It wasn’t bought yet, but he thought it suited all my needs. I thought it was way beyond my needs. It had four bedrooms and even its own indoor heated swimming pool and Jacuzzi.
“It’s fully furnished already,” Remmy explained, as if he were a real estate agent showing me around, as Lola trailed behind. “Furniture is brand new. I had a designer come in.”
“A designer? Really?” I asked.
Remmy glanced my way.
“No,” I said, grinning. “I mean, that’s awesome.” My eyes skimmed the huge master bed that had a million pillows on it. It looked so comfortable. I wanted to lay down and take a nap there right now.
Lola watched me. She walked in front of me as her hand skimmed over the bedpost. “You have a girl to share all this with?”
Remmy opened and shut drawers, inspecting everything, making sure everything was put together correctly.
“No girl,” I answered.
Remmy turned around and our eyes met. I belonged to this house now more than it belonged to me. I could feel it. I wanted to be the owner of this house so badly. I wanted others to know it was mine. I liked the way it felt to be standing here and not just lusting over a physical item but knowing it was within reach. For the first time in my life, I felt satisfaction, and I never wanted that to go away. I was becoming part of Haven as the city sucked me in even more with its grandeur. My eyes shifted between Remmy and Lola and I sighed, wondering what the hell I had just agreed to with Carmine.
14
CROSS
I was relieved when I saw Shayna walking toward me. She was awkwardly tugging at the bottom of her short purple dress that seemed to creep up on her thighs with each step. It fitted snuggly around her hips and middle, which seemed so much curvier since she’d given birth to those two boys. She was wearing high heels and just looked uncomfortable, but flashed me a smile as she wrapped her arms around me in an embrace.
“Lilah, wow, you look hot.” She pulled back to get a better look at me and the sparkly red dress with the low cut front I’d chosen.
I smiled. “Thanks. You look pretty amazing yourself.”
“Me?” She swatted her hand in the air like I was crazy. “I just threw this old thing on. Barely fits anymore.” She once again tugged at the bottom of the dress to bring it back down her thighs. She looked up at the sign of the club, The Salty Dawg. “So, this is the place, huh?”
I laughed. “Yeah, lame name, I know, but I heard it’s a blast in there.”
She nodded. “When was the last time we did this, got together and hung out just us two, I mean?”
“It’s been forever,” I agreed.
Shayna linked her arm into mine. “Let’s go work on getting you drunk and forgetting about Mark.”
I cocked an eyebrow at her. “Mark who?”
She grinned. “Exactly!”
Shayna and I headed straight to the upstairs bar as the music blared and people of all ages danced. It was already crowded and still early in the evening.
“I told you this place was good!” I shouted out over the music.
“What?” Shayna pointed to her ears to let me know she couldn’t hear me.
I smiled as I grabbed our drinks and headed to a nearby table.
“So, you still haven’t given me the details on Rich,” Shayna said as she took her first sip.
I downed half of my glass. I crossed my legs and looked out over the dance floor. “I don’t want to talk about it right now. I’m so done with all guys right now.”
Shayna nodded in understanding.
“Hello, miss?” I felt a hand graze over my bare shoulder as I turned around to see an older man with dark hair and light eyes approach me. His eyes wrinkled at the edges as he smiled. “Can I buy you a drink?”
I turned around and glanced at Shayna. She shrugged her shoulders and grinned.
“Sure,” I told him.
“What’ll it be?” he asked.
I pressed my lips together. “I’ll take a beer.”
He nodded. “And your friend?”
“Shayna?”
“Oh, no, I’m good. Nothing for me,” she answered.
He turned to leave to get my drink. I watched him go. He was dressed nicely in a dark shirt and black slacks.
“Know that guy?” Shayna asked.
“Nope.”
“Hmm…” Shayna placed her fingers to her lips.
“What?” I laughed.
“Thought you were so done with guys,” she said, quoting me.
I grinned. “Well, a girl can’t refuse a free drink, right?”
She chuckled.
The guy returned and asked if he could sit. I gestured for him to go right ahead.
“Daniel,” he introduced himself.
“Lilah,” I told him. “This is Shayna.”
“Night out?” he asked us.
“A much-needed girls’ night out,” Shayna explained.
He smiled, sliding the beer my way. “I didn’t know what beer you wanted, and it’s kind of hard to hear in here, so I hope that’s okay.”
“Thank you.” I glanced down at my left hand where I had removed my wedding ring and engagement ring earlier in the day. It felt strange to not be wearing them.
Daniel reached over and placed his hand on top of mine. “You look beautiful tonight, Lilah,” he whispered in my ear.
I smiled as I removed my hand from underneath his and reached for my drink.
His eyes met mine as he winked at me. I could already tell he was a slime ball.
“Maybe we could go somewhere after this. What do you say? You look like a chick who’s looking for a good time tonight.”
“That’s right,” I told him. “I doubt I could have a
good time with you.”
Daniel jerked back his head and chuckled. “Games, huh? I can handle games.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Want another drink?” he asked.
I glanced over at Shayna and then back to the slime ball. “Just one more,” I told him. “This time a shot.”
15
CAIN
“Hey, Mom.” I pressed the phone against my ear as I plopped down on my new couch in my new house. The walls were too white. I’d have to get some paint and change that when I got a chance, or better yet, hire somebody.
“Oh, Nicky, I’m so glad to hear your voice. I miss you,” she whispered.
I pressed my lips together in a smile as I propped up my feet and leaned back. “Miss you, too.”
“I don’t think you’ve ever been away from me this long.” She laughed lightly.
“I know. It’s been crazy here.”
“Tell me about Haven and everything going on. Do you like it?”
I reached for the TV remote and began flipping through the stations. “I have my own place.”
“You do?”
“Yeah, it’s huge, Mom. As soon as you’re feeling better, I’m going to drive you out here to see it. Maybe you’ll want to move in here. There’s plenty of room. It even has its own pool—inside,” I told her.
“Wow, fancy. What else?”
“I have a new car.”
“What color?”
“Black. It’s a sports car and goes so fast.”
“Don’t be getting yourself into trouble with that car,” she joked. Her voice sounded so faint, though. This conversation was using up energy she didn’t have to spare.
I sighed. “I’m starting to get to know Carmine’s guys.”
“I figured you were. I’m glad you’re there, Nicky. It’s time you made your own path in this world and didn’t have me tying you down.”
