by Sara V. Zook
The doors opened and I walked toward the large office where I’d been before. There was supposed to be some kind of business meeting this morning. I glanced down at my cell phone to check the time. Damn. I was already ten minutes late from when Remmy told me to be here. The door to the office was closed. There were no windows to peek into it. I took a deep breath and tugged on the bottom of the football sweatshirt I had tossed on. I took hold of the handle and pulled the door open. Everyone was sitting around a large, rectangular table, and they all stared at me as Carmine stood with his back to me. His hands were clasped behind his back as he stared out of those enormous windows that overlooked his front lawn. I was expecting the other guys to joke around with me, call me a dumbass or something for being late, but no—no one said a word, and it was terrifying. I slid into the only empty leather seat remaining, in between two of the Triplets.
“I’m glad you could make it, Nicky,” Carmine finally said, his back still toward me.
I ran my hand nervously through my damp hair and glanced at the other guys. No one made eye contact with me. “Sorry I’m late,” I told him, folding my hands together on the table and finding it difficult to sit still.
“I’m not a difficult man.” Carmine turned around then, his eyes on me. He was dressed really sharply for it being so early in the day. Even his gray-black hair was gelled perfectly in place. I hadn’t even had time to shave. Not only did I feel singled out, I felt like I should’ve taken the time to present myself like I was going to an interview by the looks of the other guys. It wasn’t my fault. No one had given me the memo that there was a dress code. “The one thing that I will not tolerate is tardiness. I’m not a patient man. Don’t make me wait again to start my meeting. It makes me uneasy, and thus, ruins the rest of my day. It creates unbalance in my balanced world.”
I played with a loose piece of skin on my thumb as I let his words sink in.
“I’m speaking to you, Nicky,” Carmine said firmly.
I looked up and made eye contact with him for a second before returning my attention to my finger. “It won’t happen again.”
“Good.” He sat down at the head of the table. Seton was on his right. Everyone was being so well-behaved, the complete opposite of what I’d seen of them last night. “Let’s begin then, shall we? Remmy, you can start with finances.”
Remmy nodded as he glanced down at the note pad in front of him. “Finances have been steady. No decline.”
“No real increase either, though, correct?” Carmine asked.
Remmy pressed his lips together. “Correct. We’ve seen some bonuses from businesses who have needed extra TLC.”
“Good job on the TLC,” Carmine stated, his eyes shifting to the Triplets who just sat there like big lumps.
“We’ve received all payments this month,” Remmy continued. “All the local businesses have paid and were on time, so that’s a plus. We didn’t have to go out of our way to receive payments. We, in turn, have distributed payments to the policemen on our payroll. All are still willing and are genuinely happy with the contract we’ve presented to them. There have been no problems there.”
“No new authority we have to look into?” Carmine questioned him.
“No. Nothing’s been brought to my attention, and I’m sure it would’ve been if that were the case,” Remmy replied.
“There’s some rumors of some head honchos wanting to retire soon,” Hagan announced. “I think plans are being made for that, but it hasn’t been put into motion yet.”
Remmy looked across the table at him. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. I’m sure all will be fine though. I don’t have any concerns, do you?”
Hagan shrugged. “How can I answer that without knowing who will be their replacements?”
Remmy glared at him.
“What else?” Carmine asked. “What’s going on with the H?”
Seton took a sip of coffee and then cleared his throat. “You know how the H thing goes. Sometimes you have good clients, sometimes you get the bad ones that get out of line.”
“From what I’ve been told, the out-of-line ones have been taken care of,” Carmine stated.
Seton nodded. “They have.”
“Properly?” Carmine added. “I don’t want any of that falling back on us and giving us a bad rep.”
“I guarantee nothing will fall back on us,” Seton promised.
“There have been a few potential clients that have asked around. I haven’t presented any sort of contract to them because I have to check them out yet.” Remmy ran his finger down the edge of the paper of his note pad. “This is through word of mouth anyway through other clients. They know better than to directly refer us to anyone.”
“Good, good.” Carmine folded his hands together in front of him on the desk and looked around the table. “Good job, everyone. I mean it. I’m really proud at how this group of men handles things. Everything is very professional and precise.” He paused for a moment. “I like that finances are steady. Is everyone doing alright with their own personal finances?”
The men all nodded their heads. I just sat there and continued to pick at that piece of skin. I ripped it off and a little droplet of blood appeared at the surface. All of my finances were paid by Carmine. I wondered if that was a continuous deal or something that would eventually be turned over to me. I should really remember to ask Remmy about that later.
Carmine sighed. “I don’t want to just be doing alright though, I want us to be able to go out there and get whatever we want, whenever we want. If we want to go buy a helicopter, I want you to have the kind of cash that enables you to do so. I want the sky to be your limit.” He licked his lips, his jaw tightening. “I want to bring some new business in. I’ve already discussed it with Seton, and he’s on board, right, Seton?”
“Right,” he answered, his voice even hoarser than usual, sounding like he smoked one too many cigars last night.
Carmine looked around at each of us again. “There’s an outside meeting already set up. I want Remmy and Nicky to be present with Seton at this meeting.”
I glanced up at him. He stared at me momentarily before continuing.
Hagan’s chair moved backward as he sat straight up. “I don’t mean to interfere, Carmine, but Nicky isn’t ready for any new business meetings. He’s pretty timid, actually.”
“Screw you, Hagan,” I blurted out, my temper flaring before I even realized that Carmine was hearing my words, too.
Hagan shrugged. “Sorry, Nicky, but it’s true, man. You don’t have it in you—not yet at least. I hope someday you do, I really do, but now isn’t the time. I mean, I’ll gladly take his place. I’ve been looking for an opportunity like this. I’d like to be on board with it.”
“You are on board,” Carmine said calmly yet with a hint of strictness in it. “You’re all on board. It’s a good business opportunity—amazing even. It’s really a once in a lifetime type of thing, but I don’t appreciate you butting in on my decisions, Hagan.”
“I’m sorry, Carmine, I just…”
Carmine slammed his fist down on the table. Everyone jumped, including me.
“Shut up, Hagan,” Seton hissed.
“Did I ask for opinions?” Carmine asked.
“I’m sorry,” Hagan repeated, now slumping down in his chair as if to hide from what he’d just said.
Carmine narrowed his eyes at him. “My decision has been made. It’s Seton, Remmy and Nicky. That decision is final. Do you understand, Hagan?”
“Yes, sir. I’m sorry again.” His voice choked.
Was Hagan about to cry? I raised my eyebrows and continued to stare down at the wood of the table. This meeting was way too intense for me when I was this hung over. I wanted to go back to my warm bed and that pink-streaked blonde girl that I was sure was still passed out there.
“I need you on the local stuff,” Carmine told him. “You and the Triplets will remain there until I tell you otherwise.” He paused again. “Anythin
g else, gentleman? Any concerns?”
No one said anything.
“Okay then.” He stood up. “Have a good day, gentleman.”
I stood up once everyone else had and followed them out of the room. The Triplets filed into the elevator leaving room for no one else to get in. I watched the doors close as I stood there and waited.
Hagan came up behind me and slapped his hand on my shoulder. “Congratulations, man. You have no idea what this could mean for you. You’d better not fuck it up.”
I just stood there and continued to wait. Hagan had made it a point to tell Carmine I wasn’t ready. I wished Carmine would’ve come right out and said what the new business opportunity was. It had me not only curious, but extremely nervous of what lay ahead of me in the near future.
22
CROSS
I rolled over on the couch, the sound of the squalling baby loud and clear in his car seat. I shoved a pillow over my head. I just wanted the noise to stop. That baby had awakened at least five times last night. It was way more bonding than I wanted from Mark’s baby with another woman. There was silence for a few seconds. I peeked out from under the pillow and stared at him. His lips trembled as he opened his mouth wide and bawled again. This was awful. I never wanted to have my own children—ever. No wonder mothers were exhausted. Babies never slept. It was early in the morning and daylight was beginning to seep in through the sheer yellow curtains. I couldn’t take it anymore. Enough was enough.
I hurried off the couch, past the shrieking infant and into the bedroom where Mark still slept. I was so mad I could scream myself. I clenched my fists together, my nails digging into the skin on my palms. I swung my arm back and punched him as hard as I could in his arm.
“Ow!” he cried out, rolling onto his back and glaring at me. “What the hell, Lilah?”
I pointed toward the living room. “Do you hear that, Mark? That noise? That’s your baby crying again for the millionth time. I’m done. I’m not putting up with this shit anymore. I want a divorce, Mark. I want out of this awful life. It’s over. If you don’t get out there and take care of that baby, I swear to god I’m going to call child services and get him taken away from you. You can’t neglect a baby, Mark. You can neglect me, but you can’t neglect him. It doesn’t work that way.’
“Mark Junior,” he said, sitting on the edge of the bed.
“What did you say?” I snapped.
“The baby. His name is Mark Junior.”
I rolled my eyes. “Seriously?”
He scratched the back of his head. “Let my legacy live on.”
I wanted to shove my finger down my throat. “Get your legacy some goddamn formula and change his diaper. Then get out of my house,” I commanded him.
He stood up and smiled. He walked over and kissed me on the forehead before I had the chance to move out of the way. “Thanks, baby, for taking care of him for me.” He strolled out of the room and over to the car seat. He picked up the baby. “Shh,” he told him. “It’s okay. Daddy’s here.”
It seemed surreal to stand there and see Mark actually holding a real-life baby, and not surreal like the magical kind, like the-world’scoming-to-an-end-and-everything-goes-up-in-flames kind. “I’m serious, Mark, about what I said. Me and you, we’re through.”
Mark rocked the shrieking baby back and forth on his chest. “Can you grab a diaper out of that bag?” He turned around to look for it. “Where’s the bag?”
“In the kitchen,” I replied flatly.
“I think he went number two…” Mark grinned and cocked an eyebrow my way.
He wasn’t taking me seriously. It was pissing me off even more. “I don’t care. Get it yourself. Deal with it yourself. Time to grow up, Mark.”
He huffed but disappeared into the kitchen, the baby in his arms.
I sat down on the couch, my face in my palms. I was so tired of so many things. It was hard to pinpoint just one. When he reappeared, the baby had another bottle in his mouth and was slurping down the liquid hungrily.
“I know things have been bad,” Mark began, sitting down in the recliner.
“That’s an understatement,” I mumbled.
He looked over at me. “I think we can fix the damage done to our marriage.”
“Are you kidding me?” I glared at him. This guy was out of his damn mind. “Do you see what you’re holding?”
He looked down blankly at the baby.
“Let me clue you in, Mark.” I stood up, my hands on my hips. I was on the verge of losing my sanity, the rage consuming my every move. “You got another woman pregnant and you brought that baby into our house!”
“I don’t see what’s so bad about it,” he replied.
“What?” I shrieked. “There’s something very wrong with your head!”
He flashed me an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry about Rita. I didn’t mean for that to happen.”
“Oh, you didn’t mean to sleep with her?”
“Right.” He raised his eyebrows. “I’m sincerely sorry about it, but when I got her pregnant, I had to stay by her side. I don’t see what’s so bad about bringing Mark Junior here. His mother’s sick. I have to take care of him. He has nobody else.”
“You didn’t take care of him!” I yelled, ready to punch him in the face, and I was sure I would’ve if he wasn’t holding that child. “You were asleep all night and I had to take care of him! How would you feel if I had a baby with another man and then you were forced to hold it, feed it, and change it? Do you think that would feel good, Mark? Do you?”
He didn’t say anything. He just stared down at the slurping baby and then removed the bottle from his mouth, put him up on his shoulder, and proceeded to burp him. Formula spewed out from the infant’s mouth and down Mark’s back. “Son of a bitch!” he cried out, almost dropping the baby. He jumped to his feet and looked around the room for something to clean himself up with.
“This is just icing on the cake,” I continued. “This whole unfaithful/baby thing, it doesn’t even matter. I mean, it does matter, but what I’m saying is that I didn’t want to be with you even long before this happened. I don’t love you, Mark. I actually am pretty sure I hate you with every fiber of my being. I want you out.”
“I’m not leaving,” he said, putting the baby back down in the car seat and tugging at his shirt so it’d come off. “This is my house, Lilah. My house.”
“You don’t pay for this house. You don’t have a job.”
“I’ll fight for it. I’ll fight you in court. You’ll have to pay for the lawyer and you’ll have to give me half of everything. That’s how it works.”
“I’ll tell them you’ve broken your vows. You’re an adulterer.”
“I’ll rip you apart in lawyer fees alone,” he threatened. “This is as much my house as it is yours. I told you I think we should work it out. I don’t believe that you don’t love me anymore. You’re just being selfish as always. You need some help, Lilah. You’re depressed. You need to go see a therapist and figure your own shit out. Fix yourself and then we’ll work on fixing us.”
I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. I was so frustrated, I didn’t even know what to do with myself. “There is no us!” I hollered, reaching for my coat.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked.
I opened up the front door and didn’t even bother looking back. I slammed it shut and headed to my car. I started it and sat there for a few moments feeling the chill of the seat underneath me as my heat kicked on and my windshield fogged up for a few minutes before beginning to defrost. When had it become so cold? I’d even lost track of time lately. I’d lost track of everything. I wanted to bang my head on the steering wheel. Damn it, I wasn’t going to cry. Mark didn’t deserve anymore of my tears. I put the car in reverse and pulled out of the driveway. I didn’t have anywhere else to go. There was only one place—I was headed in the direction of my dad’s.
23
CAIN
I leaned up against
the side of the car and tossed another butt of a cigarette onto the ground. I had smoked occasionally before, especially when I drank, but it seemed like since I’d moved to Haven, I smoked a hell of a lot more. Then again, my stress load had tripled since I’d gotten here. In a short time, I’d involved myself with a mob—not just involved but pretty much dived in headfirst. Sometimes I’d dwell on the fact that I shouldn’t have let it happen, but mostly I tried to focus on other things, like my brand new sports car and my mom able to get her chemo again, and I’d try to convince myself that it was all worth it. This crew was respected in Haven, therefore, I had that respect also. None of Carmine’s business associates knew who I was—yet. That was all about to change.
Augie had driven Remmy, Seton and me out to a place called Rosebud. It was a poor community and mostly farms, so the houses were spread out.
“Here, take this.” Seton held out a handgun.
I glared at him.
“Put it away somewhere, but take it,” he insisted.
I took it and stuffed it in my waistband. Remmy had told me on the way here that we were waiting for the Africans to arrive. We had driven to the middle of a field. My sneakers sank into the mud underneath me. I needed new shoes anyway. Hell, I should go out and buy fifty new pairs. I kept scanning the area for signs of another vehicle approaching, but there was no one in sight. I almost took out another cigarette out of pure boredom but decided not to.
“Remember to keep your mouth shut,” Seton warned me.
I rolled my eyes.
Seton hit me hard in the shoulder. “I’m serious, Cain. These guys are dangerous. They won’t hesitate to kill you.”
I felt the sting from where he’d made contact with my arm but didn’t bother acknowledging it. “Yes, sir.” I saluted him. He didn’t seem to appreciate the gesture.
