by Sara V. Zook
He lightly chuckled. “You’ll get sick of me soon enough.”
“I doubt it, but if I do and you still have the house, can I stay here while you move out?”
“Sure.” Nicky laughed harder. “You can have anything you want, baby. Everything I have is now yours.”
We laid there kissing in the dark for a few minutes. I pulled away from him. “Nicky?”
“Huh?”
“I need to ask you something.”
“Okay,” he said.
“You don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to, I’m just wondering.”
He snickered. “Just ask.”
“Okay.” I licked my lips. “Is this whole thing that you’re involved with...with Carmine…I mean, this thing with the guys…?”
“Lilah?”
“Yeah?”
“Just spit it out.”
I sighed. I didn’t want to pester him about the things he did, but I felt like I needed some sort of answer. “I don’t know how to say it, so I’ll just say it. Are you part of a mob?”
Nicky was silent for a few moments as my heart hammered away in my chest, and as he laid there, his head pressed against it, I knew he could hear how anxious asking that question made me. “I know you probably have a million questions about all this, and believe me, you deserve answers to every single one, but these are things I can’t discuss with you—not yet.”
That was all the answer that I needed to that one particular question. Nicky had given me a big, fat yes by evading a specific answer. Mob. The word rang loud and clear in my head. There were so many other words attached to it, none of them good as I realized what it could mean when I took the time to really think about it. Being with Nicky Cain meant a life full of danger. If his boss could so easily be killed, so could Nicky and so could I. I stared up into the darkness as I felt Nicky begin to fall asleep on top of me, his extremities making little twitches, the beer making him drowsy. I should be running far, far away from this lifestyle. Organized crime sent a thousand red flags up inside of me, but the one thing I couldn’t bear to give up I was holding in my arms. I think my mind had been made up the moment Nicky had come into my house and shot Mark dead. No matter what he did during the day or where he went, who he killed or the other sins that haunted him, the thing that mattered most to me was that he came home at night to be with me. I was willing to risk it all for this man. Nothing he had done or could ever do in the future would change my mind about that.
41
CAIN
I was called to a meeting in Carmine’s office where we always sat around the huge table. I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t know if the other guys knew more about what was going on than I did. There were a lot of what ifs in my mind, and I hated every one of them. Insecurity wasn’t something I dealt well with. My emotions had been all over the place lately. I really needed a drink and a cigarette.
I stepped off the elevator and walked into the room. All of the guys were in their seats. I glanced up at the large window. It didn’t seem right to not see Carmine standing there. I didn’t even know how this meeting was going to progress. Carmine had been at the head of the table. Who would lead us now? I sat down and looked at all these men who I had gotten to know recently. Not a single one of them was capable of the things that Carmine did. I gritted my teeth together.
“Anyone care if I light up?” I asked boldly, knowing that Carmine wouldn’t have permitted it and wondering if the others cared. I knew it showed lack of respect, but I really needed that fucking nicotine right now.
“Hand me one, too,” Seton told me.
I balanced the cigarette between my teeth as I took a puff. It wasn’t helping with my irritation. I figured my annoyance was beyond repair right now.
Remmy stood up, his chair sliding out behind him. “Nicky,” he said. “I need to talk to you.”
“Okay…” I glanced around at the other guys. Their eyes were on Remmy.
“In the other room.” Remmy pointed to the closed door in front of him.
I stood up and followed him. He closed the door behind us. We were in the living area that Carmine had brought me to when we talked about the Africans and diamonds. He walked to the other side of the room and gestured for me to have a seat.
“What’s this about, Remmy?”
“Just sit down, will you?” Remmy dabbed his forehead with a handkerchief. He put the white piece of cloth back in his suit pocket and sat down beside me in a chair. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.”
I lowered my eyebrows.
Remmy rubbed his palms down his pants.
“You’re acting very fucking nervous right now,” I remarked.
He didn’t respond right away. He looked out of the windows and then back down to the floor. “Carmine took me in when I was a teenager, about thirteen. I was on the streets, had no family. He found me getting into trouble. I was stealing from a drug store. I was getting arrested when he intervened. He convinced the police to take the cuffs off, said he’d handle me from there. When the police listened to him, I knew he was a very important man. I remember being afraid, wondering what he wanted with me. I thought maybe it would’ve been better if I’d been arrested instead, but it wasn’t what I expected. He didn’t want anything from me. He took care of me. It wasn’t like a father/son relationship. He hired a lot of people to watch after me, but he paid the bills and put a roof over my head. He had money. There was nothing I wanted that I didn’t have. I went back to high school and graduated. I lived here with him in this house.” He paused for a moment. “Carmine wasn’t a very emotional man, but what he did for me…when I think back of what could’ve happened to me if he hadn’t come along, I’d probably be dead right now or in prison, there’s no doubt about that.”
I was shocked by Remmy’s story. I had no idea that he’d known Carmine for that long. It was probably that lack of emotion on Carmine’s part. He wasn’t affectionate. He just took care of the shit he needed to. He was organized and not messy in the things he did. That’s what made him so successful. That’s what made him a strong leader.
“He paid my way through law school. I wasn’t just Carmine’s financial advisor, I was his attorney. Did you know any of that, Nicky?”
I ran my fingers through my hair. “No, Remmy. I didn’t know any of it. I didn’t know you were a lawyer.”
“Carmine entrusted very specific things to me. He was a private man, as I’m sure you already got that impression from him.”
I nodded.
“He shared one thing with me, and this was only recently. When he was younger, he fell in love with a woman. He said she loved him, too. He said he ended up leaving her because of how much he loved her. He didn’t want to drag her into his life of guns and drugs. I asked him what the woman’s name was.”
I stared at Remmy, wondering what the hell he was getting at. Why was he telling this all to me?
“That woman’s name was Penny Cain,” he stated.
I suddenly felt ill. There was a strange ringing in my ears and white dots flashed in front of my face. I shoved my head between my legs so I wouldn’t pass out.
“You okay, Nicky?”
I waved my hand in the air. “Just give me a second.” Penny Cain was the name of my mother. Carmine had been with my mom, in love with my mom? That’s how they knew each other? Why hadn’t she told me? I raised my head back up.
“Yeah, your mom.” Remmy’s jaw tightened seeing my reaction. “He said he never loved another woman after her. She was it for him. There’s more, Nicky.”
I shook my head. I didn’t really want there to be more, but I figured he’d tell me anyway.
“And then Penny got in touch with Carmine a few months later. She told him she was pregnant with you, that you were his.”
I felt sick. I hadn’t eaten this morning, I was running on nicotine, and I was hung over. I wasn’t ready for a conversation this serious or this devastating so early in the day, but then again, I don’t
think I would’ve ever been ready to hear all this.
“Penny said she didn’t want you growing up in the mob. It was no lifestyle for a kid, but she wanted him to know about you, and they decided together that it would be best if you grew up in Lazerne and never knew about your father. Carmine insisted that you take your mother’s maiden name as your last name so you’d have no connection to him. It wasn’t that he didn’t want you is what he told me. It’s that he wanted to protect you, both you and your mom. He said he thought about both of you every day of his life, but he knew this was his way of loving you, by not having you connected with the life. Then your mom somehow got in contact with him a little while ago. She told Carmine she was sick with cancer, that she had no money and had to stop her chemo. He was devastated to know she was so sick. She said she didn’t want anything from him on her behalf, that she just knew the cancer was spreading throughout her body, that she wanted Carmine to take care of you because you had no one else in your life. She wanted to die knowing you were taken care of.”
I buried my face in my hands. My mom had known all along and didn’t want me to know. She knew Carmine would get me that house and car, not because of some bullshit favor he owed her, but because he was my father, my blood.
“Carmine of course agreed. He would do anything for that woman. She didn’t want his help, but he insisted on giving her money for treatment, setting her up with a caretaker and making sure she’d get rides to appointments. He wanted to get her a new house to live in, but she put her foot down there. She accepted everything else. He sounded grateful that she accepted his help, and he was very excited, as excited as Carmine gets, to finally get to meet his son.”
“Wow, Remmy.” I rubbed my cheeks with my hands. “This is a fucking lot to take in.”
“I know. Like I said, it wasn’t supposed to happen this way. He wanted to train you more, get you more experience and know what you were doing before he told you.”
“Who else knows?” I asked. “Besides you, who else knows about this?”
Remmy shook his head. “No one. I’m it. The other guys know he had an interest in you, it bothered them not knowing why, but they had no clue. That I can guarantee you. They just listened to what Carmine said about taking you into the group.”
I took a deep breath.
“You see, Nicky, you’re taking Carmine’s place.”
“What?” I stared at him in disbelief. “I can’t take Carmine’s place. I have no…”
“Experience,” Remmy finished for me. “I know. I’m well aware, and so was he, but it’s the way he wanted it. I’ll help you. You’ll be fine. I’m nervous about it, too, believe me, but I think we can make this work. You have it inside you, what it takes. I’ve seen it and Carmine saw it, too. You’re more like him than you know.”
“Jesus Christ.” I stood up. “I feel like I’m going to have a fucking heart attack here, Remmy.”
He remained seated as he watched me pace back and forth in front of the windows.
“Nicky?”
I glanced his way. I wanted to ball my hand into a fist and shove it into my stomach to try and stop the ache that was growing there.
“I need you to realize something. No one has access to the things in this house except all of us. I found Carmine shot. He wasn’t conscious. I wish he was able to tell me who did it. They probably thought he’d died before they left—either that or they were too chicken shit to stick around. It doesn’t matter. What really matters is that no one is pointing fingers right now, and some might think something went wrong with one of Carmine’s connections and someone came here, snuck in and wanted him dead, but I’m telling you that’s not how I’m seeing it, not at all.”
I stopped pacing to totally focus on what Remmy was trying to tell me.
Remmy stood up then. He pointed to the door where just beyond there all of the guys still sat. “One of those men out there did that to Carmine.”
“Holy shit,” I mumbled. “Do you realize how many bombs you just hit me with, Remmy?”
“I tried to think of the best way, the best time to tell you all this. I just had to do it now before someone else tried to overstep what is rightfully your place. Those guys aren’t going to understand. Someone out there was trying to take out Carmine so they could rise to power. Me and you have to figure out who, and believe me, we will. You have to go out there and act like a fucking leader, Nicky. You have to go make them understand that you’re not messing around here, that you’re Carmine’s son and just like him, you’re not going to put up with anyone’s shit.” His jaw tightened again. “I’ll leave you alone here to compose yourself. I’m sorry for having to tell you like this. We’ll be waiting for you out there when you’re ready.”
I watched Remmy leave. He closed the door behind him. I looked around the room completely overwhelmed and even more confused about what the hell this meant for me and everyone else in the group. And on top of it all, now I had to play detective and get to the bottom of who had done that to Carmine—to my father. I sat back down in the chair and stared out the windows that overlooked the city of Haven. All my life I thought my mom had just fooled around with some lowlife a long time ago that she didn’t want to be with, that he didn’t know about me or didn’t care, and that that was how things were. I never questioned anything. All along I was really the son of a powerful mobster boss. It was too much to sort through right now. I tried to push my emotions aside. That’s what Carmine always seemed to do. He managed to bury his emotions to do what needed to be done. I had to go out there and be the new boss. I had just inherited a mob. I was never going to be able to sit here and actually be ready to go to the head of the table and face those guys. I couldn’t sit here and try to rehearse what I was about to say. I just had to suck it up and go do it. I’d drive myself crazy if I stayed in this room any longer.
I opened up the door and walked out, meeting everyone’s stares. I took out another cigarette and lit it before walking over to the chair where Carmine had sat. I put my hands down on the table.
“What the hell is going on?” Seton asked. “Why are you standing at the head of the table, Cain?”
I looked around at all of the men, trying to decipher if anyone’s face was more shocked than the other to try to feel them out, see if I got suspicious about any of them, but they all seemed confused, angry and demanding answers with their eyes.
I took out the cigarette and exhaled. “I’m not going to blow smoke up your asses and pretend to know what the fuck I’m doing up here.”
“What the hell?” Hagan asked.
I held up my hand to tell him to shut up for a second. He looked pissed off, and I glared right back at him. “A lot of shit has happened to me over the last week. I had to deal with my mother dying of cancer, and now I find out Carmine was my father.”
I could hear their gasps. Remmy gave me an approving look to keep going.
“Yeah, it surprised the shit out of me, too. So now you all know why he was so interested in me. I know you still probably don’t give a fuck because that doesn’t make me qualified to be the new boss, but Carmine wanted that for me, and I’m going to respect his wishes…so should all of you.”
The guys just looked at each other. I wondered if the Triplets even comprehended what I was saying. They were all a little slow, their mouths gaped open as if not totally getting it.
“I want you to know that business will continue as usual. I have to sit down and think about all this, but everything will continue as it has been.”
“Are you going to move in here?” Hagan asked.
I shrugged. “Like I said, I have a lot to think about. A lot of decisions have to be made.”
“Are you going to be hands off like Carmine was? I mean, come on, kid, you have a lot to learn,” Hagan told me, laughing.
“Fuck you, Hagan,” I snapped, running my fingers through my hair. I wasn’t going to put up with his shit and let him treat me like this. That would be a huge mistake if I let them
walk all over me.
Hagan’s mouth dropped open.
“I didn’t ask for your opinion, did I?” I was nervous but still pissed off to be forced to stand here and make a speech in front of a bunch of guys who viewed me as weak. “I don’t know what I’m doing yet with anything. Just keep doing what you’re doing.”
“What about the Africans? Bello’s not going to…” Seton stopped then.
“We’ll take care of Bello, right, Seton?”
He nodded. “Right.”
“I think we need some drinks,” one of the Triplets suggested.
“Good idea,” Remmy added.
The guys got up and started going through the shelves on the back wall. They were filled with liquor.
“To a new chapter,” Remmy said, raising his glass as he passed around a bottle.
“To Six Guns,” one of the Triplets shouted out.
Everyone laughed and seemed a little less on edge with a drink in their hand.
“It’s about time we called our group something,” Seton said, “instead of always saying we belong to Carmine.”
“We belong to Six Guns,” Remmy chimed in.
The guys raised their glasses high in the air. “Six Guns it is.”
We drank. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. “I don’t want you guys to worry about shit. I’m going to figure this all out and make it work.”
“I broke your balls before,” Seton said, “but if you’re Carmine’s boy, you’ve got his blood, and damn it, that’s good enough for me.” He put his hand on my shoulder to reassure me.
“Thanks, man.”
I looked around the table. I met eyes with Remmy, the brains behind everything, Seton, the loyal right-hand, Hagan, the trigger happy loudmouth, Augie, the driver, and the Triplets, the muscle. I wondered which one of these bastards shot Carmine, and then once I figured that out, I had to find out why. For now, I had a lot of stuff to sort through, and how was I going to tell Lilah that I was boss now after she’d just asked me last night about my being part of a mob? It would all work itself out, I just hoped I could keep myself alive long enough to sort through it. The first thing I’d have to do is beef up security. Cameras would be installed everywhere and bodyguards would be hired. The problem now with Remmy telling me someone killed my father right underneath everyone’s noses is that I now trusted no one, but even so, these were my men now. I took another hit from the cigarette as I leaned back in the chair and tried to calm my nerves. From this moment on, Six Guns belonged to me.
