by Luke’s Wish
Joe sighed and shook his head. “Luke thinks the same thing about me—that I could bring her back, too.”
“I’m sorry.” She gave his hand a little squeeze, and when she would have pulled away, he turned his over and captured hers. “And sorry for giving him all these ideas about magic. For going off to school in that silly costume, pulling magic coins from behind the kids’ ears and talking to them about magic and fairies. I can’t believe I still do that.”
“I think it’s cute,” he said, that teasing smile of his returning, the charm coming on full force along with it. “I’d love to see you in your fairy suit. Why do you do it, Doc?”
“It’s silly,” she argued.
“So is all-out war waged with water guns and making mud pies and kissing Dani’s favorite doll good-night, but I do it, because it makes my kids happy. That’s why you do the tooth-fairy bit, isn’t it?”
“Part of the reason.”
“Tell me,” he said, easing back against the cushions, the leather creaking and settling as he did so.
“It was my father’s idea. He always went to schools to talk to kids about taking care of their teeth, but they didn’t always listen that well. So he decided he needed to spice up his act. And he started doing little magic tricks, and that worked. Then, one year for Halloween, I wanted to be the tooth fairy. And my mother made me this wonderful dress with stars on it and found me a magic wand and a wig with long blond hair, because mine was short at the time. And I had a blast. My father thought I looked perfect, and he had this idea to take me along with him the next time he spoke to a group of kids.
“So we did it. And he told them I was the tooth fairy and that they would make me happy if they would just take good care of their teeth.” She smiled, seeing her father now. “He said it was the best audience of first graders he’d ever had. And from then on he took me with him whenever he did his little talks.”
Joe laughed, that wonderful laugh from today on the phone. It made her feel good when he laughed—too good.
“We worked up an act,” she continued, “like a magician and his assistant. It was one of those special father/daughter things for us. I was still going to schools with him when I was in college.”
“He sounds like a wonderful father.”
“He was.” She couldn’t keep the tears from pooling in her eyes, but was determined not to cry this time. If she did, Joe might well take her in his arms again, and she couldn’t let that happen.
“You still miss him very much, don’t you.”
She nodded.
“I wonder if it ever stops. I wonder if Luke will ever stop missing his mother and asking me to bring her back.”
“She doesn’t have anything to do with the children?”
He shook his head. “Packed her things and left. She doesn’t even call and ask about them.”
“And what have you told the kids about why she left?”
“As little as possible,” Joe said. “At first I was sure she didn’t mean anything she said when she left. I was sure she’d come to her senses and come back. And even when she said she wouldn’t, I had to keep hoping for the kids’ sake that she’d change her mind. But it’s been more than a year now. The only time I heard from her was when she wanted a divorce, which I gave her. I can’t lie to myself anymore. She’s not coming back.”
“I’m sorry,” Samantha said again as Joe slid across the sofa until he was sitting next to her, his right arm lying along the back of the cushion. It would be so easy for him to wrap his arms around her, she thought.
No one had held her in the longest time. Surely that was why it felt so good to be close to him this evening in her office.
His hand came up to her jaw, taking it gently with his fingers and turning her toward him so he could look into her eyes. “I don’t know why, when I picked a woman to marry and have children with, I couldn’t have found someone more like you.”
Samantha froze for a second, then muttered, “You don’t even know me.”
“I’m a little smarter than I used to be. I know that you’re kind and generous and that you go to incredible lengths to make little children smile. And somehow I know you’d never hurt my children the way Elena did.”
“Joe?” she said, in a panic now, because he was coming closer, his gaze intent on her mouth. He was going to kiss her, and she simply couldn’t let him.
“It’s scary, isn’t it?” he asked.
“Scary?”
He nodded, so close she could almost taste him. “Because I’m very attracted to you.”
Samantha backed away as far as she could, until the cushions were flat against her back, but still he was coming closer, coming to kiss her. Samantha took both her hands and shoved Joe, who’d twisted around to face her, until he fell to the floor.
From his spot on the floor Joe looked up at her and tried to figure out how he could have so totally misread the situation. Baffled, he stayed where he was and watched her squirm.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Are you hurt?”
“Doc, I’ve been thrown from a bull before. You’re not going to hurt me by shoving me off my own sofa.”
Color flooded her cheeks, and he wished he didn’t find her so pretty.
Women, he thought. He’d never understand them.
He should have quit trying, should have left them alone, should definitely have left her alone.
“I’m sorry,” she said again, and he simply couldn’t leave things this way.
“All you had to do was say no. I’m not the kind of man who forces himself on a woman.”
“I know.”
“You do?”
She nodded, swallowed hard and looked everywhere but at him. Joe just didn’t get it. She liked him. He knew it. And he liked her. She was pretty, in this soft feminine sort of way. And kind and sweet. She loved kids and was heaven to kiss. What more could he want in a woman, even if he wasn’t supposed to want any woman?
“I think I should go,” she said, standing up.
Joe held out a hand to her, and she helped him to his feet, then pulled her hand away.
“I’m sorry Luke was so upset today. I…I didn’t know what to say to him, and nothing short of a promise to bring his mother back would have satisfied him. I knew I couldn’t promise that, so…”
“It’s all right,” he insisted. “I’ll take care of Luke.”
She nodded. “I’d better go.”
Joe walked her to the door. When she had it open, he put his hand on her arm, holding her there beside him when she would have left. “Just tell me one thing, okay?”
She looked down at his hand on her arm, not at him. “If I can.”
“What’s wrong?”
Samantha shrugged. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“I thought you liked kissing me earlier,” he insisted.
“No, I—”
“Don’t even try to tell me you didn’t like that kiss. I know better.”
Her face turned toward the door, she said, “You’re not making this very easy.”
“It’s not easy for me, either, and then, in another way, it’s far too easy,” he said gently, because he knew it was easy to spook her. “But I don’t know about you. Tell me why it’s so scary for you.”
“You have kids,” she said haltingly.
“Yes. What do the kids have to do with this?”
“I can’t…I made a promise to myself. I’m not going to get involved with any man who has kids.”
“Why?”
“Because it complicates things…”
“Yes,” he said. It did complicate things. He’d met women who had absolutely no interest in having kids or being around them. In fact, he’d been married to one, except she hadn’t figured that out until after they already had two kids. But Samantha Carter loved kids. There was absolutely no question in his mind about that. So her explanation made absolutely no sense. Why would she even try to tell him that? She had to know he wouldn’t believe it.
/>
“Doc, you love kids.”
She nodded. “But I’m around them all day.”
“So? You’re telling me you get tired of them? That all you want of kids is what you get in the office?”
“No,” she admitted.
“Have you ever been married?” He started firing off the questions.
“Yes.”
Something inside his gut clenched tight before he could get the next question out. “Divorced?”
“Yes.”
Thank goodness. “No kids?”
“No.” She took it like a punch in the stomach. “I don’t have any children.”
“Why not?”
“Joe?” She was near tears again, and she looked sad, vulnerable.
Who’d hurt her so badly?
He pulled her into his arms again. She came without any form of protest and he held her, doing his best to comfort her and not give in to his impulse to kiss her, which was hard. But he could do it. Because he was worried about her and he didn’t want to scare her off.
“Just tell me,” he said. “I’ve told you the worst thing that ever happened to me. Tell me the worst for you.”
“It hurts,” she said.
“I know,” he said tenderly, taking her face in his hands and kissing the tip of her nose. “Everybody gets hurt, Doc. Everybody. Who hurt you? Your ex?”
She nodded, her lashes flickering down, and Joe noticed they were dark and spiked together with the moisture from her tears. He kissed that away, as well, wishing he could kiss away the hurt just as easily.
Something was happening here, something that scared him because it was so powerful. But something that felt deliciously right, as well. He hadn’t wanted a woman in his life since his wife left. He’d been so busy trying to keep his head above water with the kids and his job and the house that he hadn’t had time to even think about another woman.
But Samantha…she was so soft and so pretty, so vulnerable, so nice. She had the most beautiful smile, and she worked hard to make little children smile, as well.
And she needed him. He was old-fashioned enough to feel a little kick in the gut at the idea of a woman truly needing him, of being able to take care of all her needs, fix all the things that hurt her and made her sad.
“Let me in, Doc. Let me help,” he said. “Tell me about Abbie. She’s a little girl, and she’s upset. Why’s she upset?”
“She misses me.”
“Why does she miss you? Why can’t you see her?”
“Because her father doesn’t love me anymore. He’s in love with someone else now, which means I not only lost him, I lost his daughters. My daughters, I thought. I loved them more than he did. I spent more time with them than he did, more time with them than I did with him, actually. Which may be one of the reasons he found someone else. He’s never been that into his kids’ lives, and I suppose he couldn’t understand why I would be, either. He’s much happier when he’s the center of attention, and I guess he is now. With his new wife. And I’m here all alone. I’m kicking myself for being so blind to fall for him, and even worse, for falling for his daughters.”
“Oh, Samantha,” he said.
“I loved them. I loved them very much. Their mother died when they were just babies, so they’d never really had a mother, and they needed me so much. And I loved them, Joe. And I miss them, and they miss me.”
“And he won’t let you see them anymore?”
“I did at first, but he got married again right away, and I guess things weren’t going so smoothly between his new wife and the girls, and he blamed me for that. The girls wanted to be with me, and as long as they could be, they weren’t giving her a chance. So after a while he asked me not to see them anymore. He doesn’t even want me to talk to them. Richard’s decided they have to get on with their lives with him and his new wife.”
“I’m sorry,” Joe said. “He’s an idiot.”
“I know. But I still miss the girls.”
She was near tears again. Joe held her and tried to comfort her, all the while wishing he could wring a certain man’s neck.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated when she finally pulled away from him. “How long has it been?”
“Almost a year. I finally decided I just had to start over somewhere else. It was too hard to be in Seattle just a few miles away from them. Too tempting to call them or drive by their house or the park where they liked to play. My father left me some money, and a former colleague of his was having health problems. I agreed to cover for him for a few months and try out the practice here to see if I might want to buy it from him.”
“So…do you like it here?”
“It’s a nice town,” she said. “I haven’t done much but work, but I like the practice. The kids are great. The office staff’s fabulous.”
“You’re just lonely?”
She nodded.
“Me, too,” he said. “Seems like there ought to be something we could do about that, Doc.”
“Joe, I told you…the kids? You have great kids, and you seem like a very nice man, but the idea of getting involved with any man who has children, children I could lose again… I can’t do that. It scares me to death.”
“I know. I’ve spent the past year watching my kids get their hearts broken by a woman I once loved. A woman I trusted. I made a lousy choice when I picked a mother for my kids, and now my kids are paying for it. So you’re not the only one who’s gun-shy—with good reason.”
“Which means we’re absolutely wrong for each other,” she said.
She stepped away from him and picked up her purse. Like, she was going to just walk out of his life? And that was going to be the end of it? She went to open the door, to leave. He hated that idea.
“I don’t think so,” Joe said, pushing the door shut.
She turned around to face him. “But you said you didn’t want to get involved with anyone, either. It’s too big a risk.”
“Is it?” he said.
“Yes.”
“Samantha, I don’t want to hurt you. And the last thing I intend to allow is for my kids to be hurt again.”
“Then we can’t do this. It’s all wrong. I already love Luke a little bit, and Dani…she’s adorable. It would be too easy to fall for them.”
“They need someone right now. It would be really easy for them to fall for any woman who paid them a little attention, especially someone as kind and caring as you are,” he admitted, thinking if this was what it was like to be a grown-up, he didn’t like it at all. If it meant having to be smart and careful and think a whole lot about everything before he did it, he didn’t like it one bit.
“So we can’t do this,” she said. “We just can’t.”
Joe frowned, thinking he had her close enough to touch. Close enough to grab and haul into his arms and kiss senseless. Until this whole thing between them didn’t seem like a bad idea at all.
He reached out and touched her hair, instead, stroking along the back of her head. She trembled a bit and leaned a little closer to him.
“I like you, Doc. I like you a lot.”
“I like you, too,” she whispered.
“Being a grown-up about this is a drag, isn’t it?”
“Yes.” She laughed, then she looked sad again. “I promised myself I was going to start over here. That I was going to be smart. New practice. New house. New friends…”
“New man?” he suggested.
“Maybe.”
“A totally unattached man?”
“Yes.”
“Well, that makes sense, Doc. That makes a lot of sense.”
“I guess I should probably get to it,” she said.
Joe nodded, his hands tightening on her shoulders. “Which means this is goodbye. You know, in Texas, a handshake just doesn’t do it when it comes to goodbye, Doc.”
“Oh?” she said, smiling shyly up at him. “How do people say goodbye in Texas?”
“A slap on the back sometimes. A bear hug between really good f
riends.” He leaned down and nuzzled the tip of his nose against hers. “And when the other person smells really good, like you do, sometimes…”
She laughed. “Sometimes?”
“We do this…”
He settled his mouth over hers. It was a long, slow, utterly delicious kiss, and he never wanted it to end.
She was different, he told himself. She was so different from Elena.
But how did he know that? He’d only known her for a little more than a day. How could he take that chance? Luke already thought she was pure magic, and Joe thought the same thing himself.
What if she’d cast a spell over both of them, and they just couldn’t see straight anymore? Joe was half-serious about that part. He couldn’t think about anything but her, about getting closer to her.
Finally he broke off the kiss. Her eyes slid open, and she looked dazed and every bit as confused as he felt.
“You’re somethin’ else, Doc.”
He kissed her one more time, and then backed away completely, unable to take his eyes off her.
“Sorry. I got a little carried away,” he said.
“Me, too,” she admitted, which he thought was generous of her.
“Samantha, we’ve got to talk about this. Maybe there’s a way to do this…a way to play it safe and make sure nobody gets hurt.”
“No,” she said. “You were right. It’s too risky.”
“But—”
“I just couldn’t take it, Joe. I couldn’t take losing one more thing I’d come to love, or one more person. I couldn’t stand it.”
“Okay,” he said, backing off completely. He had no arguments against something like that.
“I really have to go,” she said.
He nodded, seeing the tears in her eyes, tears that would likely fall the minute she got out his door. Great, he thought. He’d gone and made her cry.
Chapter Five
The light on her answering machine was blinking when Samantha got back to the house she’d leased. Wearily she sat down on the stool and hit the button that made the messages play.
