by Janni Nell
The Master held up his hand to stop me. “Casper?” He spoke English without an accent. “I don’t know anyone by that name. He isn’t one of us.”
What the—? Oh right, I got it. “Casper isn’t his real name. I meant Ulrich. He’s Germanic. Died fighting the Romans around 1AD.”
The Master’s expression cleared. “Ah yes, a great warrior.” He folded his hands and said serenely, “But Ulrich is lost to us.”
“What do you mean lost? Missing? Or—” I pointed upward, “—gone to a better place?”
“It is not for me to say.”
“Please. Casper—Ulrich—has disappeared. I can handle it if the Powers-That-Be have taken him to Heaven, but I can’t handle not knowing what’s happened to him.”
The Master was silent for long minutes. His expression slowly changed from inscrutable to sympathetic.
“All I can tell you is that Ulrich is no longer one of the guardians.”
“He’s in Heaven?”
“I’ve already said too much.” But he didn’t need to say anymore. I got it. Casper was gone. He’d once promised me he wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye. So much for promises.
The Master moved on. I didn’t try to stop him or beg for more information. What would that achieve? It wouldn’t bring Casper back. Moments later I heard the beating of wings.
I headed back to the Black Shamrock. The night was very still. A breeze whispered through the village. It gathered strength, whipping fat rain drops against my cheeks. I started to run, thunder rumbling at my heels.
The crowd outside the pub had gone. Even Dad had gone inside to escape the rain. I sprinted for the door, pushed it open. Colum and his morons weren’t in sight. Niamh was busy serving drinks. Dad was talking to Aedan. I hurried toward them. Dad’s eyes met mine.
“What is it?” he asked.
“The pooka’s coming.”
Everyone froze as the sound of hoof beats circled the pub. The pooka snorted and whinnied as though working himself up to something really special. His deep voice filled the night.
“Harrison Rafferty Fairweather. I call you to ride.”
Dad put on his jacket. He zipped it up. He threw back his head draining the beer from his glass. He headed outside. I didn’t try to stop him. He had to confront Lorcan and not just to solve the case. In essence, Lorcan was a kid with a broken heart. Dad—my dad, Lorcan’s dad—was the only one who could heal it.
I followed Dad outside. The pooka stalked back and forth. With every step, he snorted, and thin streams of flame trickled from his nostrils. His black coat gleamed like polished ebony.
Dad whispered, “Magnificent creature,” with more than a touch of parental pride.
“Harrison Rafferty Fairweather. I call you to ride.”
“Don’t,” I said, grabbing his arm. “You’ll give him the advantage. Best to work this out with your feet on the ground.”
“It’s okay, Allegra. I know what I’m doing. He won’t hurt his father.”
“Don’t bet on it. He didn’t cut me any breaks. And I’m his sister.”
“He didn’t know that.” Dad crossed the tarmac with slow footsteps, hands spread in a gesture of peace. “Easy, mate. Easy. Your name is Lorcan, yeah?”
The pooka snorted impatiently. “Harrison Rafferty Fairweather, it’s time to ride.”
“Do you know who I am, Lorcan?”
“My father,” boomed Lorcan in his deep pooka voice. “Mama told me your name before she died.”
Recovering from his surprise, Dad said, “Good. It’s good that you know. So, how about shifting to your human form—”
“I’m not all human. I’m half Fae.”
“The best half,” agreed Dad. “Shift into your Fae body and we’ll talk.”
Lorcan ignored the request. “Why did you leave my mother?”
“Because I loved her.”
Lorcan pawed the ground raising a fountain of golden sparks. “That’s stupid. If you love people you stay.”
Dad’s voice was oh so gentle. “Your mother and I couldn’t be together. I couldn’t live in her world. And she couldn’t live in mine.”
“You left her with a baby,” accused Lorcan. His deep pooka voice cracked, revealing the child within. “You left me.”
And that was the heart of this whole sorry mess. I knew how pissed off I’d been that Dad hadn’t come back to me, and I’d been old enough to understand. How much worse for Lorcan knowing that his dad—our dad—had never been part of his life.
He eyeballed Dad and demanded, “Why have you come here now?”
“I learned—only today—that Sharina had given birth to my child. To you, Lorcan. As soon as I learned the truth, I came to find you.” Lorcan stomped and snorted as though he didn’t give a fuck. Dad tried a different tack and beckoned me to stand beside him. “This is your sister. Allegra.”
I was betting Lorcan wouldn’t be thrilled to learn we were related. But, for Dad’s sake, I gave it my best shot.
“Hi, Lorcan.” I’d never felt more lame. “You know, you don’t have to do this whole pooka terrorizing the village thing anymore. The people of Dingaleen aren’t the enemy. Even Dad isn’t your enemy. The enemy is fate, bad luck, whatever. But your luck has changed now. You’re part of the Fairweather family.”
Lorcan snorted as though he didn’t much like families. Or maybe it was just ours. Smart kid.
“I loved your mother, Lorcan,” Dad said. “So very much. Forgive me for not being around when you were born, for missing your early years. I swear, I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”
Lorcan stood very still. I thought Dad had got through to him. Then Lorcan repeated the mantra that was quickly growing old.
“Harrison Rafferty Fairweather, I call you to ride.”
“Very well, I’ll ride.”
“Dad, don’t,” I yelled.
Lorcan’s eyes flashed like a demon’s. Triumphant. He trotted to a low wall so Dad could mount easily. No way would I let Dad do this alone. I hurled myself at the pooka, grabbed a hold of Dad’s coat and hauled myself up behind him. The pooka bucked and tried to throw me, but I wrapped my arms around Dad’s waist and clung on.
Lorcan warned, “This is a ride to the death.”
“You want to kill your own father?” I said.
Lorcan brushed my words away like so much chaff. “Dismount now, Allegra Fairweather, or suffer the consequences.”
Gee, and I’d thought he wanted to kill me. Guess he’d changed his mind. Didn’t matter. I wasn’t getting off. I yelled, “Bring it, little brother.”
The pooka took off down the road, did a hard right and crossed three fields in seconds. Staying on his broad back meant clinging tight to Dad. With my arms wrapped around his waist, I was forced to hug him in a way I’d refused before. He felt so solid and strong and safe. With him around no one could hurt me, not even the pooka. I knew I was seeing him with the heart of a child, but why not? I was a child. I would always be his child. The pooka left the fields behind and entered the woods. Hoofs scrabbled over rocks and fallen leaves as he raced upward heading for higher and higher ground. When he reached the top, he slowed. Where were we? I scanned the storm-tossed darkness hoping for lightning. At last, a flash, and I knew exactly where we were. The same crevasse where Casper and I had almost plummeted to our deaths.
Casper. My heart clenched. No, don’t think about him now. There’ll be time for that later. So long as I survive the next few minutes.
The pooka stalked along the edge of the crevasse, firing threats and describing how he’d throw us to our deaths. Then, tired of threats, he started to prance, twisting and bucking as we clung on tight.
“I’m sorry, Lorcan,” Dad yelled, struggling to be heard above the wind. “For everything. Sharina’s death. My failure to return to Ireland. Kill me if you have to, but let Allegra go.”
Lorcan stopped prancing.
Dad whispered to me, “Dismount now. Quick as you can.”
>
Lorcan heard and reared up. His hoofs pawed the air above the crevasse. I thought he was going over when he suddenly twisted away and thundered onto solid ground. He snarled, “You deserve to die, Harrison Rafferty Fairweather.”
“But Allegra doesn’t,” said Dad. “Let her go.”
“She’s made her choice. You’ve both made your choices.”
“For fuck’s sake, Lorcan,” I said, losing it. “Sure Dad abandoned you. But, grow up, it wasn’t his fault. He didn’t even know you existed.”
“He should have known.”
“How could he?”
Instead of answering Lorcan said, “He left my mother.”
“Oh right, like you’re the only one that’s happened to. Get in line.”
“I hate you. You’re a dumb sister.”
“You’re an even dumber brother,” I said, hoping to provoke him into making a mistake.
He trotted to the edge of the crevasse and boasted, “I can shift into an eagle, you know.”
“Oh, yeah. What’s your point?”
“If I leap into the crevasse,” said Lorcan, proud as a kid with a new toy, “I can shift to an eagle and fly away. You, and our dear father, will plummet to your deaths.”
“Fine. Kill your family. That’ll make everything okay.”
The pooka backed away from the edge. I thought I’d gotten through to him until I realized he was just making sure he got a good run up before he launched us all into the abyss.
Dad said, “He’s really going to do this, Allegra. Jump off and save yourself.”
“You first.”
“I can’t,” Dad said.
“Neither can I.” By then it was too late. Lorcan powered toward crevasse. I called above the raging storm. “I love you, Dad.”
“I love you, too, Allegra.”
The same thought came to us at the same time. In unison we yelled, “We love you, Lorcan.”
Maybe Lorcan didn’t hear. Maybe he thought we were jerking his chain. Whatever. It didn’t stop him bolting to the crevasse. His powerful flanks rippled as he launched himself into the air. I clung on to Dad, who clung to Lorcan’s mane. We were airborne, sailing out over the abyss. Out. And out. When he reached the center over a perilous drop, Lorcan suddenly turned from horse to eagle. He flew up. We plunged down.
A movie of my life ran through my mind, complete with highlights featuring Casper. Our first meeting, when he’d pulled me from the path of an oncoming car. The day I’d learned Dad was missing, and Casper had held me while I sobbed and raged against fate. The time I’d refused to enroll in college and Casper had helped me move to the west coast. Then there were the more recent times: Casper pulling me half-drowned from a Scottish loch and giving me mouth-to-mouth, the two of us romping around my old bedroom as we tried to catch the flying cake from Casper’s Angel Awards goodie bag, me dancing flamenco while Casper played the castanets.
I was smiling as the ground rushed to meet me. Right before I hit bottom, something hooked into my clothes, hauling me upward. Dad was beside me, dangling from Lorcan’s other claw. Thank the Fae genes for Lorcan’s supernatural strength.
When the second descent came it was short and sharp. The eagle disappeared. Dad and I tumbled to the ground in a tangle of arms and legs. Some of those arms and legs belonged to a skinny kid.
* * *
Back at Ronan’s, I took a good look at Lorcan. He was more human than I’d expected, taller than Fae kids of the same age, with dark hair and a cleft in his chin. Actually he looked a lot like a younger version of Dad.
“No mistaking he’s yours,” I whispered. I started to ask Lorcan why he’d changed his mind about killing us, when I realized the truth. Lorcan had been testing Dad—and maybe me as well—making sure we’d stay with him even if it literally killed us.
Dad formally introduced himself to Lorcan and shook the kid’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
Lorcan was totally overwhelmed. He nodded and looked like he didn’t know what to do next. Dad seemed at a loss too. He looked at me helplessly. I shrugged. What did I know about kids?
Dad pulled himself together and said, “Um—would you like to see my home in Australia? I could teach you to surf.”
Lorcan stared at the floor.
“It was just a thought,” said Dad. “We can stay here if you’d rather.”
“Yes,” said Lorcan suddenly.
“Okay,” Dad said. “We’ll stay here.”
“No,” snapped Lorcan.
Dad and I exchanged a confused glance.
Lorcan kicked the fringe on Ronan’s rug. “I don’t want to stay here. The Fae hate me. Everyone hates me.”
“We don’t,” I said.
“Everyone here does. I want to go far away.” Being part human rather than pureblood meant Lorcan could leave Ireland any time he wanted.
“Australia is pretty far,” Dad said.
“Is it?” Lorcan asked.
Dad smiled. “It’s in another hemisphere.”
“Take me there,” Lorcan said.
“Okay,” Dad said.
Then, just so Dad totally got it, Lorcan added, “I don’t ever want to come back.”
“I understand.” Dad touched Lorcan’s shoulder and the kid didn’t pull away. Dad turned to me. “How about it, Allegra, do you want to come too? A spell in Oz would do you good.”
“I’d love to visit with you, but not yet. Maybe in a few weeks. There are some things I’ve got to do first.”
The truth was I had nothing to do that couldn’t wait. I was being noble—again—letting my brother get to know his dad before I began playing big sister. I’d always been the youngest and I was really looking forward to having a sibling to boss around. Yeah, I know, I was old enough to know better. Deal with it.
Chapter Fifteen
Home again. I sat on the beach near my house. It was a popular spot for weddings. At that very moment there was not one, not two, but three taking place. No matter which way I looked a happy couple was rubbing my face in the fact that I was no longer part of a couple.
Okay, Casper and I hadn’t been a couple in the traditional sense, but we’d loved each other...even if we’d never been able to say it. I missed him so bad, and watching the happy couples promising to love and honor was just pissing me off.
I should have gone back to the house, made myself a snack, drowned my sorrows in piña coladas. That’s what a sensible person would’ve done, but I’d come to watch the sunset and no fricking weddings were going to stop me. The sun executed an elegant descent, sliding away to Australia, where Dad and Lorcan were now getting to know one another. I’d promised to visit, but I wasn’t good company at the moment. I needed to make peace with the loss of Casper before I was fit to hang out with my family. Anyway, if their emails were anything to go by, Dad and Lorcan were doing fine without me. The rest of my family were also doing fine. Mom was involved with her favorite charities and Lily had recently informed me that, in the not too distant future, Little Allegra would have a new brother or sister.
On the beach the bridal parties were completing their ceremonies. One by one they headed off to celebrate. The sun had gone leaving streams of pink and gold staining the sky. I hugged my knees. Maybe later I’d go to a bar and get wasted.
A figure walked along the beach. As it got closer, I saw it was a man. I didn’t pay him much attention until he called out, “Allegra.”
I was on my feet in a nanosecond. Nah, it couldn’t be Casper. It was my imagination—like that time I’d seen Dad in Fairyland.
“Are you ignoring me?” he called a hint of laughter in his voice.
“Are you real? I thought you were a figment of my imagination.”
“I’m real.”
“Are you back for good? Not in transit to a better place? Not just stopping to say, goodbye?”
“The River of Dreams washed away Ignatio’s evil. I’m completely healed.”
“Good as new?”
�
�Not exactly.”
“But you are here to stay?”
“I guess so, but I won’t be your angel anymore.” Pain knifed through my heart. The Powers-That-Be knew how we felt about one another and had finally decided to separate us.
“You’ve been assigned to guard someone else,” I said flatly.
“Not exactly.”
“Then what exactly?”
“I’m not in contact with the Powers-That-Be anymore.”
“Meaning?”
“After passing through the River of Dreams—which was a bit like being caught up in a tornado—I was deposited outside the border of Fairyland. I was so weak and tired, I immediately fell asleep. I slept for...” he frowned, “...if this is October, it must have been over a month.”
“What? Out in the open? No one found you?”
“Apparently not.”
Oh crap, I should’ve stayed in Ireland. I should have searched for him.
He went on. “When I awoke I felt completely recovered and yet I was different.”
“You look much the same to me.”
“I am different,” he insisted. “For one thing, I’ve broken the law.”
“I know all about your pillaging back in the day.”
“Not that. I stole money to pay for a fake passport and airfare to Hawaii.”
“What? Your wings don’t work anymore?” He just looked at me. All I could say was, “Oh.”
“The River of Dreams did something to me. I think it made me—”
I touched his chest, which rose and fell under my hand. His heart beat steadily beneath my fingers.
“You’re alive again?” I said in wonder. Actually, it made perfect sense. He’d bathed in the River of Dreams. My dream had come true.
I thought I heard a deep Charlton Heston voice saying, “So be it.”
“Amen!” I said and punched the air.
I wrapped my arms around Casper’s neck. Actually, I might have jumped on him in my enthusiasm. He lost his balance, falling backward onto the sand, his lips yielding beneath mine. At first he hardly responded then his inner warrior surfaced and he flipped me over kissing me with the lust of a barbarian who hadn’t made love in two thousand years. Was it good for me? No, but fortunately I’m not shy about telling a guy what I like.
