“What is it?”
“I can’t tell you about Onii-chan’s previous life. But I can tell you about my past life,” Latifa stated, having made up her mind.
“Eh...?” Miharu was dumbfounded. For a moment, she didn’t understand what Latifa had said, as she had no idea that Latifa had a past life.
“I have a past life too. A story I’ve only told Onii-chan. But I’ll tell it to you too, because it’s you. My conditions are that you stay silent about what I say, and that you answer one of my questions after I’m done,” Latifa said with determination and looked directly at Miharu.
“Latifa...” Miharu was baffled by the sudden topic at hand.
“Well? Do you accept these terms? Though it isn’t fair to just say that when you know nothing about my past life, so I’ll tell you one thing up front. I knew Onii-chan in my past life. We died in the same traffic accident.”
“Ah...” Miharu gasped in shock.
“I might change my mind later, so I’m only going to wait ten seconds. Ten, nine, eight...”
“W-Wait! I want to hear it. Please tell me, Latifa. I promise to abide by your conditions.”
“Got it. Sorry, this time I was the one saying unfair things. But in exchange, I’ll tell you about my past life. I don’t think you’ll regret it,” Latifa said apologetically.
She wanted to know Miharu’s feelings. Just like how Miharu wanted to know about Rio’s past life, Latifa wanted to know why Miharu was digging into Rio’s past life.
Miharu shook her head politely, “It’s okay. I don’t want to be pushy, but will you tell me right away?”
“Yup. I was an elementary school student in my past life. Onii-chan was a university student, and we knew each other because we took the same bus to our schools.”
“...” Miharu was focused on listening, so she didn’t say a word.
“At first, I wasn’t used to riding the bus. I only used it occasionally on rainy days, but I once missed my stop and went somewhere I was unfamiliar with. When I got scared and started crying, Onii-chan brought me back home. That was my first meeting with Onii-chan. That was all it took for me to... No, the Onii-chan of my past life was so kind and handsome, I fell in love with him at first sight. Then I made mom let me take the bus to school. And that was one year before we died...”
Latifa paused there before continuing, fondly remembering the details.
“But in the end, even with one year’s worth of time, I never gained the courage to talk to Onii-chan ever again. Ah, I know I asked why you couldn’t talk to Onii-chan yourself before, but now that I think about it, I’m really not one to talk about Miharu, huh? I still have lots of things I haven’t had the courage to say, even now.” Latifa smiled sadly.
“Latifa...” Miharu clenched her fists tightly from the heartache.
“That’s why I wasn’t actually that close to Onii-chan in my previous life. Of course, since becoming the me of this world, I’ve heard lots of stories from Onii-chan, but I promised him I wouldn’t tell anyone about that. Sorry — I couldn’t tell you much, I guess?” Latifa apologized regretfully. Perhaps she had just wanted to tell someone about herself. Maybe she wanted Miharu to know about her — it was, perhaps, why she brought up such a topic.
“That’s not true.” Miharu smiled fleetingly, shaking her head.
“Thank you. Then, to finish things off, I’ll tell you a little about what kind of person Onii-chan looked like to my previous self. And to my current self too...” After saying that, a certain intention could be glimpsed in Latifa’s eyes. It was possible that talking about her impression of Haruto from when she was Suzune would be a violation of the promise she made Rio. At the very least, it was definitely a grey area.
But Latifa wanted to say it anyway. She had to say it, she thought. If she was to remain in love with Rio in the future, she thought she had to face Miharu directly right here and now. “Onii-chan always... The Onii-chan in my memory always had a sad look on his face. He had a faraway look in his eyes, as though he was watching someone who wasn’t there. Like someone very important was gone, and he knew they wouldn’t be returning...”
Latifa knew who that important person was. She was already treading on a dangerous line at this point, so she couldn’t say any further than that.
“Haruto was...” Miharu blinked.
“I don’t know... I don’t know if Onii-chan is still looking at that person even now. But, you know. I love Onii-chan. He saved me in this world as well.”
“R-Really?” Latifa’s sudden confession had Miharu recoiling her head.
“Yup. Come to think of it, I’ve never told you about what happened... About the life I was living before I came to the village...”
“I heard you were traveling with Haruto...” Miharu said nervously.
“It was before that. I-I was... I was a slave before. By the time I regained my memories of my past life in this world, I had been born and raised as a slave.”
“Ah...” Miharu was rendered speechless at Latifa’s confession.
“The Strahl region is human territory, so there are practically no communities like this village where people of different races live together. If there are, they’re slaves. There’s no place for us other than slavery.” Latifa continued on with a troubled look. “The nobles that owned me raised me as an assassin. They put a magic collar on me, to keep me from disobeying. That’s why, when I regained my memories of my past life, I had already killed people. After my memories awakened too, with these hands, I...”
Latifa’s body trembled a bit as she looked down at her hands. It must have been painful just to recall. It was a past she normally kept sealed deep within her memories.
“It’s okay, Latifa. If it hurts, you don’t have to force yourself to tell me.” Miharu approached Latifa and grabbed her hand. She spoke with a pained look in her eyes.
Latifa shook her head from side to side. “No, I need to do this... In order to ask you a question later. That’s why... You may not want to hear this, but I want you to. Is that okay?”
“...Yup.” Miharu frowned, nodding deeply.
“Thank you. As an assassin, I... I was controlled by the slavery collar, and told to kill Onii-chan like the others... That was what happened between me and Onii-chan, before we came to the village,” Latifa said shamefully, biting her lip as she stared at Miharu.
“...Latifa.” Tears gently fell from Miharu’s eyes. The story was just too much to bear.
“I pretended to collapse so that I could kill Onii-chan. But, there was no way I could win against Onii-chan, and I easily had the tables turned on me. I thought I would be killed, but I didn’t want to die, became scared, then completely threw a crying fit, at which Onii-chan knocked me out...” Latifa said bitterly. It really was a miserable recollection.
“Onii-chan didn’t kill me, though. Instead, he removed the collar that was controlling me. Then he brought me, who didn’t have a place in Strahl, who was nothing more than a burden, all the way to this village. He gave someone like me, who didn’t even have their own will, a chance to live an ordinary life,” Latifa continued in a quiet but firm voice.
“...” Miharu was overwhelmed and stood there in silence.
“I’ve caused Onii-chan a lot of trouble. I owe him so much, more than I can repay him in this lifetime. Onii-chan’s kind, so he’d deny all that, but that’s not true at all. That’s why I’ll spend my life returning this debt to Onii-chan. That’s what I think...” Latifa said, then paused.
“...You really love Haruto, after all,” Miharu said softly. It was clear as day that Latifa really loved Rio from their conversation just now. So clear, it was almost too bright to look at directly.
“Yup, that’s right. I love Onii-chan. I love him as my brother, and as a man. I fell in love with the same person twice.” Latifa nodded.
“I-I see...” For some reason, Miharu felt her chest clenching and made a pained face.
“That’s why, I think I get it. The re
ason why Sara and Orphia and Alma, why everyone loves him too... They still seem to feel guilty for how horribly they treated him over the misunderstanding when we first wandered into the village, but I can tell they love him.”
“...Right,” Miharu nodded with difficulty. Since they had been living together like a family, Miharu had somewhat realized that too.
“What about you, Miharu?” Latifa suddenly asked.
“...Huh?” For a moment, Miharu wasn’t sure what she was asking, her eyes widening. But she understood her meaning in no time and flinched in shock.
“Do you love Onii-chan too, Miharu? This is the condition I gave at the beginning. The question I wanted to ask you,” Latifa asked bluntly, staring at Miharu up close.
“Uh...” Miharu was unable to answer on the spot, a terribly hesitant look on her face.
“You don’t have to rush. I want to hear your true feelings,” Latifa said calmly.
“I... I had someone I loved when I was little.” Miharu slowly opened her mouth, thinking hard. “I probably loved that person just as much as you are currently in love. It was natural for the two of us to be together every day, and I thought it would only be natural for us to be together forever... Me, and my childhood friend. Aki was also there, and the three of us would play together,” she continued.
“Mhm...” Latifa nodded, urging Miharu to go on.
“But our time together didn’t continue on for very long. When I was seven, that boy had to move far away with his father, after his parents divorced. Only Aki and I were left. Aki was that boy’s little sister, you know. She’s grown to hate him now, but back then, she loved her brother. After her brother left her, she shut herself away in her room for days and cried,” Miharu said slowly, looking back on those times.
Latifa’s eyes had widened when she found out Aki hated Haruto, but she chose not to touch upon that and instead asked nervously about Miharu at the time. “...Did you cry, Miharu?”
“I was three years older than Aki. I say that to make myself sound cooler, but I cried too. I cried the whole day he moved,” Miharu answered with a bitter smile. “But, when we parted, he made a promise to me. That when he grew up, he’d come to get me. That’s why we should get married. Then we could always be together, he could always be by my side, and protect me with his life...” she said with a sad, faraway look.
“Miharu...” Latifa felt like her chest was about to rip apart. In the end, Haruto was still able to keep that promise, even now. He would protect Miharu with his life.
“I’m a simple person, so I was really happy and stopped crying because of that. I don’t know if I still love that person now that I’ve grown up, but my memories of that time are a precious treasure to me. That’s why... That’s why... I couldn’t imagine having that kind of relationship with another man until now. But...” Miharu said in embarrassment, frowning at the end.
“But?” Latifa gulped.
“...I don’t know. Something like this, I’ve never... While living with Haruto, I started overlapping his existence with the person I knew. I know that it’s the wrong thing to do — I keep telling myself that — but lately my feelings keep surging up. The timelines don’t match, though, so it couldn’t be possible.”
Around and around, in circles. Miharu’s thoughts and feelings were sucked into a cycle of negativity. Her face twisted in pain as she ducked her head, but after a while, she raised it again.
“The person I loved when I was young was named Amakawa Haruto. The same name as Haruto.” She stared at Latifa as she spoke quietly, as though seeking an answer.
“...Sorry. I know what it is you’re trying to ask. Even so, I can’t tell you anything about Onii-chan’s past life from my own mouth.” That was what she had promised, after all. Latifa shook her head apologetically.
“Yeah. I’m sorry too, for troubling you like this... The reason I haven’t asked Haruto myself is probably because I still haven’t reached my own answer yet. I’m too scared to make sure...” Miharu bit her lip out of shame.
“...That’s understandable. You’re an older sister to two, so you have to consider Aki and Masato.”
In reality, Miharu was in a position as the eldest where she always had to consider the other two, not just herself. However, the point that ultimately made Miharu hold her ground was the mismatched timelines. There was no way Amakawa Haruto could have been a university student, since he was a first year high schooler like her. That’s why, logically speaking, there was no way they could be the same person.
That was the binding spell. Because she understood there was a time discrepancy, Miharu was unconsciously afraid of confirming with Rio. She believed it wasn’t something she should confirm, having the vague feeling something would change if she did.
“...Yeah. I have to keep it together. For the sake of those two,” Miharu said to herself.
While it could be interpreted as a way of avoiding the problem with Rio, it was also true that she had to face the issue with Satsuki head-on too. If anything, in terms of urgency this was more important. After all, meeting Satsuki wasn’t just something that concerned Miharu; it would affect Aki and Masato greatly in the future too. Rio had prepared such an opportunity for them, so they couldn’t let that go to waste.
It was their own matter. They couldn’t just leave it to other people, and they couldn’t shove it all at Rio either. Miharu calmed down a little, forcing her miserable feelings into her chest.
“When I’m watching you, I think to myself that I have to try harder too. Thank you — for listening to my story, and for answering my question.” Latifa’s mouth relaxed into a smile as she thanked Miharu, glad that she had been able to have a frank conversation.
I don’t think this current state can continue, either, Latifa thought from deep inside her heart, though she couldn’t explain it logically. Now that she knew Miharu’s feelings were inclined towards Rio, she knew the problem between Rio and Miharu had to be solved before she could proudly face Rio herself. She couldn’t give Rio her all before that.
“Umm, is that all you wanted to ask of me?” Miharu asked nervously.
Latifa glanced at the entrance and smiled sadly. “Yup. I know what your feelings are now. Like I said at the beginning, you can’t tell anyone about what I told you, okay? Especially not Onii-chan.”
“Yup, I promise,” Miharu agreed, returning the smile gently.
“Let’s go, then,” Latifa said in a slightly louder voice, turning towards the door. It creaked slightly, moving faintly as though a wind had blown. On the other side was —
...Miharu. Is that true?
It was Aki. She had been searching for Miharu to discuss things with her when she found the two of them conversing outside the house and ended up eavesdropping. Aki ran into the house to avoid being caught.
“What’s the matter, Aki?” Upon running into the living room, Aki encountered Sara, whose eyes widened slightly.
“Ah, no, I was just walking a little, thinking it might help process my thoughts, or something...” Aki said, making up an excuse on the spot.
“Oh, I know that feeling. Sitting still doesn’t suit me either,” Sara agreed with a giggle. Just then, Miharu and Latifa came back inside.
“We’re back!” The moment Latifa entered the living room, she greeted Aki energetically.
“Welcome back. Wait, where did you go? What about Rio?”
“We were talking just outside of the house. Onii-chan went for a short walk outside. He said he was going to say hi to the neighbors. I’m sure he’ll be back soon.” Latifa answered Sara’s question in her usual tone.
“I see. Let’s have lunch as soon as Rio’s back, then. All the preparations are done.”
Latifa’s nose twitched as she sniffed, then she smiled with a giggle. “Yup! You made all kinds of food today. It smells great. The smell reached all the way outside the house, so I’m starving.”
“It... smelled? I could only tell once we got inside...” Miharu’s eyes wide
ned in wonder.
“That’s because I’m a werefox! I’m super sensitive to smell.” Latifa puffed her chest up proudly.
“I see.” Miharu giggled in amusement. Latifa looked at Aki, who was standing still somewhat awkwardly, and called out to her gently in worry.
“Aki, are you okay? You don’t look too well...”
“N-No, I’m fine. There’s nothing wrong at all.” Aki shook her head awkwardly, her voice high-pitched.
◇ ◇ ◇
Shortly after that, Rio returned, and it was soon time for lunch. The dining table was packed with the feast that Orphia, Sara, and Alma had prepared, but the atmosphere in the room was a bit awkward. There were conversations happening, but it wasn’t as lively as it usually was.
Aki, Masato, and Miharu in particular had stiff expressions on their faces. The reason being, of course, was what Rio had outlined upon his return. Even the normally-boisterous Masato was thinking seriously about what their plan of action needed to be.
“By the way, Rio,” Orphia suddenly said.
“Yes?” Rio replied immediately, looking at her.
“What kind of person is the noble that’s bringing you to the banquet?”
While they may not be directly involved, it was still a person that Miharu and the others would be relying on. She figured it wouldn’t hurt to learn more about what kind of person they were.
With that, everyone’s attention gathered on Rio.
“Let’s see... As I said to the head elders before, she’s intelligent with a strong sense of duty. She was placed in charge of the city at a young age, and also operates a huge organization that she established herself. I believe no one is more befitting of being called ‘talented’ than her,” Rio explained.
“She’s a woman? I had assumed it would be a man...” Orphia blinked in surprise. The others also seemed to have the preconceived notion that the noble was a man, so they were all slightly taken aback.
“Yes, I believe she’s around Orphia’s age,” Rio confirmed calmly.
“The same as me?” Orphia murmured in awe.
Beyond Memories Page 8
