by Freya Barker
"You okay like this, babe?"
I nod and grabbing me firmly by my hips, he slowly starts moving in and out of me. I can see it. I can see his cock sliding in and out and he’s watching as well, and watching me. This is so fucking hot. As the tempo picks up I can't help but push my body onto his as hard as I can each time he enters me. I want it harder.
"Fuck me. Seb. Harder…fuck me harder, please."
One look at me and one hand leaves my hips to grab my shoulder and hold me in place as Seb starts pounding into me. I spread my legs as wide as I can so every slam of his pelvis against mine hits my clit and along with the slap of his balls against my ass I can feel the oncoming rush of an orgasm.
When it hits, I can feel the pulse going through my entire body like an electric current. My mind blanks as I scream out my release just as I feel Seb's body giving in to its own release. He groans and jerks inside my body and lays himself over me with his face buried in my neck. We stay like that for endless moments after, wrapped around each other and softly touching, the odd aftershock sending us both into shivers.
"Holy shit." Is the first thing out of my mouth once the lingering spasms have left my body and my dick finally softens and slides out of Arlene. Barely having caught my breath, it seems my brain is still not functioning on all cylinders. Mind-blowing is an accurate description of the release I just experienced. Months of pent up need to touch and taste her.
I push myself up and look in her slightly flushed face. "The anticipation was sweet. The reality? Un-fucking-believable. You amaze me."
She turns her head away slightly, not saying anything, but a small tilt of her lips tells me hearing that pleases her.
"Be right back." With a kiss to her forehead I slide out of bed and head into the bathroom for a quick cleanup, returning with a wet washcloth. Sitting on the side of the bed, I pull down the sheet Arlene has pulled over herself and gently spread her legs so I can wash myself off her. It has occurred to me we haven't used any protection and although it oddly doesn't bother me in the least, I realize it is something that should be addressed. Arlene may feel quite differently.
"No one has ever done that for me before." She tells me when I slip back in the bed with her after tossing the washcloth in the sink.
"Clean you up?" I shrug my shoulders. "I like doing that for you. I've never done it before, but I wanted to."
Snuggling against my side, she kisses my chest. "Thanks. And don't worry, I can't get pregnant and I'm clean. I got tested twice after… well, you know, in the last couple of months."
"I'm sorry, but it wouldn't have made a difference, and by the way, I'm clean too. Was tested shortly after I got out." I can see her eyebrows go up at my thoughts on pregnancy.
"You want children?" Her voice is muffled as her face is turned into my chest.
That makes me think. I never had time for kids, always been too busy looking after Faith and it simply hasn't come up, but I wouldn't have been against children with someone I cared about, like Arlene, so I try to explain. "Kids have never been on my radar, but I wouldn't mind them with the right person. I like children, so if a kid had been the result of us being together, I wouldn't regret that ever."
I look down when I notice Arlene has gone rigid against me. I can't see her face so I try to roll her to her back, but she is determined to keep her face pressed against me.
"What did I say? Babe?"
When she finally lifts her face it is wet with tears. "I hate crying, you know." She says with a sad smile.
"Yeah, I get that."
I don't say anything more, just stroke her back and let her be. She doesn't need to tell me not being able to have kids hurts her. It's pretty obvious and I'm also thinking whoever left that damn cat on the doorstep is aware of that. Picking a pregnant cat and killing the kittens inside was a message to Arlene, and she received it loud and clear, going by her reaction. A few things were clicking into place for me. Most importantly that this was information Joe needed. There would only be so many people with that knowledge.
Arlene is still in bed, snoozing. If it weren't for hunger setting in, I would've stayed right there with her, but we both had to eat, so I'm out on the deck, grilling a few chicken breasts I found in the freezer and some peppers. Slipping my cell phone from my back pocket I dial Joe's number.
"Joe, it's Seb."
"Seb, what's up?"
"Hey, listen. Did you know Arlene can't have kids?"
"Eh…no? I'm not sure - "
"Bear with me, ok? When you asked if the condition of the dead cat had any significance for her, you didn't see her reaction. She said no, but I was there and her body language screamed yes."
"Damn! He knows her, and knows her well."
"That's what I figure. I don't think this is common knowledge, Joe, and another thing. I think it isn't for medical reasons she isn't able to have kids."
"That sick fuck! He cut that cat, killed those kittens inside… You know I have to talk to her, Seb."
"Yeah. She’s gonna be pissed, I'm warning you. I'll talk to her and get back to you."
After I hang up, I check on the grill. Just a few more minutes and it'll be done. It's time to get Arlene up, fed and up to speed. Preferably in that order.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
"Why would you tell him?"
I feel sick to my stomach when Seb tells me he called Joe to let him know about my inability to have kids. What the hell? I'm so stupid for spilling my guts in a moment of weakness. Typical. Just like a man, the first chance he gets he fucking blows through that trust like it's nothing.
When he tries to hold me by the shoulders to look me in the eye, I try to twist out of his grasp but he won't have it.
"Arlene! Listen to me. I never would have said a thing if I didn't think it was crucial to your safety. Just hear me out." Reluctantly and with my lips pressed together to show it, I raise my eyes. Only concern meets me when I find his dark blue ones staring into mine.
"The person who has been harassing you… who left the dead cat, has to be someone you know, and, Arlene? I think you know that." His now stern expression has me lowering my gaze because he’s right. I do know that, I just don't want to deal with it. It means opening up about a wretched time in my past when I am still raw from a more recent assault and I just don't think I can keep it together once I dig it up. I'll fly apart. I know I will.
"You don't understand… I can't go there. I just can't." I plead with him.
Working his hips between my legs, he pulls my body to the edge of the stool and folds me in his strong arms, tucking my head under his chin. "You can, Spot. You've got to. It will help us get a better grip on what is going on here and why. Please. I'll be right here, I promise."
A sudden wave of anger flares through me as I push Seb away from me and get up. "I am sick of this shit! So tired of struggling every goddamn day! Tired of being weak, always in pain, terrified and terrorized! What the hell did I ever do to deserve this crap, huh? Tell me!" By now I am screaming in frustration. I seriously would like nothing more than to curl up in a ball in a corner somewhere and disappear. I've had enough. Seb just stands there, hands in his pockets, not saying anything. Just as quickly as it came, the anger leaves me like a balloon deflating, a numb resolve left in its place.
"Fine. You win, but I'm only telling once and I need you with me."
In two steps Seb reaches me and takes my face in his hands placing a kiss on my lips. "Wouldn't be anywhere else, love." My chest tightens a little when the endearment falls from his mouth so easily, but I am willing myself not to make too much of it. No use setting myself up for more pain.
Joe is still at his office when Seb calls and asks if we can come there; he'd prefer to make a recording of what I have to say. I agree, if only to prevent having to open up that dreaded chapter of my life more than once.
I'm nervous driving into Cortez. My carefully controlled life is effectively coming apart at the seams. The capable and badass Arlene Bowers is
going to be exposed for the whimpering fool that she is, and for the whole world to see. Fuck me. There goes my reputation. I've never talked about my divorce a whole lot, never feeling the need to rehash old hurts. Emma may be the only one who knows about the violence, but even from her I've kept some details.
"You okay there, Spot?" Seb rubs his big hand up and down my leg, throwing me a glance. I manage to squeeze out a tight smile.
"Yeah. Just stick by me."
"Of course." His eyes are warm and the side of his mouth lifts up as he looks at me. For a minute I forget everything but the man sitting beside me. A warm feeling starts spreading, loosening the tight fist that's been squeezing my chest. 'Of course.' Could it really be that simple? Just trust someone to have your back without question?
Joe is waiting at the front desk when we get to the Sheriff's Office. Getting out of the truck, Seb grabs my hand and laces his fingers through mine, giving me a reassuring squeeze and holding tight. Glad for the silent show of support, I hang on.
"Arlene. Seb." Joe nods at us. "Let's find a place to sit." Turning, he leads us behind the front desk into the first room on the right. Prepared for some kind of interrogation room, I am surprised to see he has brought us into his office. He obviously picks up on my expression. "Thought we might be more comfortable in here. Have a seat. Seb, if you’d like, you can wait out in the hallway."
I grab our joint hands with my free one and shake my head. "Seb stays. I need him here."
His eyes traveling from our clasped hands to our faces, Joe smiles. "Sure thing. Have a seat, Seb." He gestures to the second chair this side of his desk.
"I have a feeling this is not going to be easy for you so I will tell you what I know and I will leave it to you to fill in the blanks. I will try to leave the questions to a minimum. You need to take a break, you tell me. Okay?"
I nod. I've been trying to keep my mind void of the dark memories as long as possible, but sitting here, knowing I'm going to have to relive the most painful event of my life once again has me breaking out in a sweat.
"Turning on a recorder now, Arlene. Is that okay with you? That I record our interview?”
“Sure, I’d rather not have to repeat myself if I don’t have to,” I tell Joe.
“Here is what I know,” he starts, “you have been receiving anonymous phone calls for weeks. No identification, no voice, just dead air and a hang up both at home and at work until last week when you and Seb were in the diner after closing. This time there was an angry male voice on the line, one you didn't recognize. At that point Seb became aware and talked to Gus. Am I correct so far?"
I nod, but Seb speaks up.
"Actually, I had noticed something about those calls earlier at the diner and when that last call came in, we called your office."
Joe's head shot up. "What do you mean, my office?"
"Immediately following the threatening phone call, I called the Sheriff's Office and was told to come in on Monday to file a report. That was it. We never had a chance to because we found the little surprise on Arlene's doorstep on Monday and you ended up over there anyway."
Joe's face had gone tight. "Remember who took your original call?"
"Sorry, no. I never asked. Is there a problem?"
"There was no record made of your call. I'll deal with it. Let's move on."
I've been quietly listening, waiting for the inevitable. When Joe looks at me, I know it's time.
"It's Monday and you find a picnic basket on your doorstep. In it is a cat belonging to your neighbor. Like I told you, the cat was pregnant and her kittens were killed in the womb."
I can't help flinching at the matter-of-fact description Joe gives. Seb strokes my knuckles with his thumb, sensing this is not easy for me.
"When I called you to give you that news, you indicated that fact had no significance. As I understand it, there might be something you would like to add or change to that. Take your time." His kind eyes focus on me as I feel all the moisture drain from my mouth, making it impossible to speak.
Seb leans in and whispers in my ear. "You've got this, babe. And I've got you."
"Okay." I whisper back. With my eyes downcast I begin. "My marriage wasn't always violent. Verbally abusive, probably, but not violent until the last few years. It kinda snuck up, I guess. Rough treatment at first where initially I would think it was an accident to where I realized he liked seeing bruises on me. Then came the slaps and punches. Again, pretty harmless initially, or at least it seemed that way to me at the time. My butt, my legs, my back. Then my face. I didn't like that at all, but I had already numbed myself to so much at that point that letting one more thing slide for the sake of keeping the dream of my marriage, the hope of my future alive, didn't seem like a big step. It was my life, you know? I knew nothing else."
Seb grabs a handful of tissues and wipes my face. I hadn't even realized I was crying. My voice monotone, I force myself to get through this part of my sordid story all at once with a minimum of emotion. Enough tears have been shed.
"I got pregnant at thirty-nine years old. Geoff had wanted kids, but when I didn't get pregnant quickly he became surly. When tests showed it was his low sperm count that was the issue, he became furious and of course, took it out on me. For years he was determined to make our lack of children my fault. My unexpected pregnancy at such a late stage surprised me… surprised us. He beat me bad the first time I told him. I thought he would be happy. He was convinced the baby wasn't his. Nothing I could say or do would change his mind. I was hospitalized twice during the first four months of my pregnancy with a variety of broken bones. Doctors suspected I'm sure, but the pregnancy gave me the excuse of clumsiness. Don't ask me why I didn't leave then. I ask myself that question every day and don't know. I wish I had."
"You need a break, Arlene?" Joe's kind voice interrupts. I shake my head. I want to get this over with now.
"He was finally successful at the end of month five. He broke one arm and dislocated the shoulder on the other so I wasn't able to protect my belly. He kept kicking until blood started flowing. Then he ran."
"Jesus…" I hear Joe mutter and Seb says nothing but he stands, lifts me and sits back down with me on his lap. His arms tight as a vice around me, nose buried in my neck. I'm surprised to find my eyes dry.
"A neighbor found me and I ended up in the hospital. My baby had died. I almost did from a ruptured uterus, which they had to remove. My shoulder was popped back in, the other arm was set and I finally filed charges for abuse and for a divorce, but too little, too late." I look up to meet Joe's eyes. "Somehow he’s behind this. I know he is."
"I will ask to have his calls and outside contact monitored. I will find out who is doing this, doll, if it's the last thing I do." Joe says as he gets up from behind his desk and walks over to where I am still sitting on Seb's lap. Seb reluctantly lets me up but keeps his body right behind mine, his hand on my hips.
"Gonna let you guys get out of here. Get some rest. There are no words, Arlene, to express what I'm feeling right now, and I'm sorry just doesn't seem to cut it." Joe wraps me in a strong comforting hug, but Seb never lets go of my hips. Despite everything, that makes me smile.
I can't speak. The entire drive back home I'm hanging on to Arlene's hand, but I'm afraid to say a word. I can feel her eyes on me from time to time, trying to gauge where my mind is at, but my anger is bubbling so close to the surface, I'm afraid to open my mouth for fear of what will come out. To think I had that fucking miserable excuse for a human being in my reach for all that time… It makes my blood boil. I would have gladly ended him. Hell, I get my hands on him, I will end him.
When we pull into Arlene's driveway I turn off the engine and finally let go of her hand to get out. By the time I get to the passenger side she is already standing beside the truck staring at the ground in front of her.
When I put my arm around her and start walking to the front door I notice she is stiff as a board. Once inside I flick a few lights on and take
her along to the couch where I sit down and pull her on my lap. Lifting her chin I notice she is fighting back tears.
"Don't cry." I manage, my voice cracking. "You hate crying, remember? I'm sorry you had to live that and that I forced you to share it. I'm angry with that sick bastard. So fucking angry I’m shaking with it, and I'm frustrated I can't make it right; that it's too late for me to protect you from that. All those things run through my head and I -"
"Shhh. I get it now. It's okay." She winds her arms around my neck and leans her cheek against mine. "You were my rock today. I couldn't have done that without you."
Fuck me sideways. My eyes are burning now and I have to swallow a big lump from my throat. Next I'll be growing a pair of damn ovaries. Seeing hard assed Arlene undone and hearing honest and humble gratitude in her voice is enough to bring me to my knees.
"You want something to drink or are you ready for an early night?"
"Both. Glass of water and bed. I'm exhausted."
I shift her off my lap with a kiss. "Why don't you head on up. I'll make sure we're locked in and be up with your water shortly."
With a tap on her luscious butt as she passes me on the way upstairs, I head off to do the rounds and turn off the lights.
By the time I get upstairs with her water, Arlene is curled on her side in bed. I make a quick bathroom stop before dropping all my clothes and sliding under the covers with her. Immediately she turns and wraps herself around me and snuggles in. I'm a bit calmer now that I can feel her skin to mine and hear her soft breathing slowing down as she slides into sleep. I love my sister with all my heart, but this woman owns me heart and soul. I have a feeling there won't be much sleep for me tonight.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
