by SJ Bishop
Everyone in the room responded, "Hi, Jax."
It was still surprising to me how crowded a late night Alcoholics Anonymous meeting could get. There must have been fifty people in here, maybe more. I remembered when Caden had brought me here for the first time. I'd been shocked that so many people felt the way I did—that the midnight to four a.m. hours were the toughest to wait out without a drink. It was fine if you could sleep, but with so much going on in my life right now, who could sleep?
The second Treena had left, I knew I needed to get to a meeting. If I didn't... I didn't know what might happen. After my recent debacle, I'd promised Caden that the next time I wanted a drink, I'd go to a meeting. If I still wanted a drink after the meeting then that was my choice, but first I had to sit through the meeting.
I paused before continuing, searching the room for any hidden reporters or paparazzi. But all I saw here were the faces of weary men and women who wanted nothing more than to make it through the night without a drink. "It's been... awhile since my last drink." I sighed. "Well, not that long, really. A couple of weeks or so." I was fumbling my words. I hated fumbling my words. It made me feel like an idiot.
"I guess I just... have been under a lot of stress lately and..."
"Murderer!" someone shouted. A dozen faces shot in the direction of the voice. The Latino man running the meeting, Carlos, jumped up next to me, speaking into the microphone.
"Now please, remember why we're all here."
"That's right!" several people called out, but I sensed a shift in the room's energy. I'd been so worried about running into reporters coming here that it had never occurred to me that it might be the very people I was seeking guidance and reassurance from who would be the ones I had to be careful around.
Several people began whispering among themselves. I heard the words, "Murdered his wife," making their way around the room. I stood at the podium a moment longer before deciding it wasn't worth it. I'd made a mistake coming here.
"Wait," Carlos called after me. "Everyone, please calm down. We are not here to judge."
An elderly man in his seventies rose from his chair as I went past him. He clapped one hand on my shoulder, startling me. I spun around to see kindness in his eyes.
"Happiness is being grateful for what you have, not wishing for the things you want. Be careful out there, friend."
I nodded once and left the meeting, trying to take comfort in the man's words. I couldn't go to Canada yet; I'd promised Treena. If there was even a chance that she might go with me, I'd wait. I was just pulling my phone out of my pocket when it buzzed in my hand. I looked down, surprised to find that it was a text from Geoffrey.
Your ship has come in. I'm getting you out of this mess. Get ready to ante up with the name of that cop you've been screwing.
I texted him back. What are you talking about? Why don't you call me if it's so important?
My phone buzzed again. Sorry, thought you'd be sleeping. Something big happened today. I'll fill you in later. For now, get ready to give up your girlfriend. She's not worth going to jail over.
I didn't know what to think. What could have possibly happened that it would be worth losing Treena? I had to talk to her and Geoffrey. In person.
40
Treena
"Good, I'm glad you're here," Anderson said, shutting the door behind him.
"You are?" I asked, a little shocked by his nonchalant attitude at finding me in his office.
"Of course. When you didn't respond to my text, I wasn't sure you'd gotten my message. It's almost midnight; I figured you might be in bed."
"Oh, no, I was awake. I was just... reading. I got your message and came right on down. I just decided to wait in your office so we didn't miss each other," I said, trying to play it off like I knew exactly what he was talking about. I pulled my phone from my pocket and tried to hide it as I tapped the button and read the text I had waiting for me. I wished I'd seen it sooner. Breaking news in the Ryder case. Get to the station ASAP.
"Good thinking. We can't waste any time playing games with this one. We've got to figure it out tonight." He grimaced, shuffling through some papers on his desk as he continued to talk. "It's just like a fucking defense attorney to pull something like this after the trial's already started."
"Do you want to fill me in on what this breaking news is?" I asked, a growing worry surfacing in me. Whatever it was, it must be big. I hadn't seen Anderson worked up like this since the night Jax was arrested.
A fire truck siren sounded from outside. Flashing lights flickered through Anderson's window.
"Damn it! Of all the times for that stupid alarm to go off. I'll be right back."
He left the room in a huff. Since Captain Murphy was at home, he probably thought he should take it upon himself to handle the false alarm situation. He was probably right. After all, he was the senior detective here.
I took the opportunity to take a quick peek inside his filing cabinet. I pulled out the file on Jax but didn't see anything in it I didn't already know. I quickly rummaged through some other files, looking for names or dates that might tie into either Penny or Jax, but I didn't see anything. Anderson's voice sounded from outside his office. He was yelling at the rest of the cops on duty.
"It was just a false alarm!" Anderson shouted. "That doesn't translate into break time. Get moving! All of you!"
I shut the filing cabinet and took a giant step back toward his desk. Anderson opened the door, slamming it behind him with enough force to rattle the bookcase at the side of the room.
I was about to ask what was the problem was but decided to keep my mouth shut. He would tell me when he was ready. He walked behind his desk, mumbling softly to himself. "Stupid alarms... idiot attorneys... all bullshit."
Finally, he looked up at me. "Jax Ryder's attorney got a second opinion on the coroner's report."
I held my breath. "And?"
"And it differs from the original report," he spat.
"Different how?" I asked, my hands already shaking.
"The time," he said. "They're placing it from midnight to two a.m. now instead of two to four. Idiots."
"But what about the city coroner? He already ruled—"
"He made a mistake. Ryder's attorney sent the samples to a third-party exam team, and the coroner there used tissue samples saved from the autopsy to redetermine the rate of decomposition. Our coroner was wrong. He took another look and concurs with the new findings."
"He does? So you mean... there's no question about it? This is for real?"
"That's right."
I tried hard to get my breathing under control. I felt like I was about to pass out. The whole reason Jax and I had kept our relationship a secret hinged on the fact that the coroner had placed Penny's time of death between two and four in the morning—when I wasn't with him. This changed everything.
"Ryder's attorney is that ballbuster Geoffrey Stevens. The asshole says Ryder has an alibi for the time of Penny Ryder's murder. As if we're supposed to believe that!" He couldn't hide the contempt on his face even if he'd wanted to. "Ryder tried to tell us that when we first arrested him, remember? Then he wised up and dropped the whole thing. This is his attorney's fault. He's behind this. I know that for a fact. He's feeding Ryder things to tell us, prepping him."
"Detective Anderson," I said. A lump had formed at the back of my throat. I could hardly get the words out. Anderson was ranting now.
"I want you to find out who this alleged alibi is and rip them to shreds. You understand me? We need to tear his alibi down before it can even make its way into court or it could turn the jury. Even if it gets thrown out later, once a jury hears it, there's no erasing it."
"Detective Anderson," I repeated. He wasn't listening.
"So get out there and find out who this alibi is. Tonight!" He looked up at me, his eyes crazed. "Why are you still standing there? Go!"
"I don't have to go anywhere to find Jax Ryder's alibi..." I said, my heart drumming in
my chest. I thought I might be having a heart attack. "It's me. I'm his alibi." I gripped the edge of a chair so I wouldn't fall over as my knees tried to buckle. "I was with Jax Ryder the night of Penny's murder."
My words hung in the air. Anderson stared at me like I was out of my mind.
"You're not serious," he said.
I nodded. My throat was too dry to speak. We stared at each other a full minute as comprehension slowly sank in.
"If that's true, Detective Walker... then not only are you off the case, but I will do everything in my power to make sure you are off the force as well."
41
Jax
I wiped Treena's cheeks as she looked up at me. My couch was so soft, and her body was so warm. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close as she poured her guts out to me.
"I can't believe I got suspended," she said, her voice thick. She'd been here all day, crying.
I could hardly believe it when she'd shown up at my place late this morning and told me she'd finally confessed everything to Detective Anderson last night. The bastard had told her to get out and had called their captain.
Her voice was cracking. "I mean, I knew this could happen. When I showed up at the station this morning, I thought I might get suspended. But then it actually happened. And I just..." Her voice trailed off again. Her eyes were much too red. I wished there was something I could do to fix all this.
"Did you get any sleep at all last night?" I asked her.
She shook her head. "No. How could I sleep? I just laid there all night, waiting for my sentencing." She pouted out her lips, and her cheeks fluffed up, making her look like a chipmunk.
"Maybe it won't be permanent," I said, trying to find something positive to say, but she only shook her head.
"Anderson said he was referring me to internal affairs," Treena moaned. "It felt like I had a scarlet 'A' on my chest when I was grabbing my things from my desk. Everyone in the department was watching me." She sighed softly. "Emily was there. I didn't say anything about her to anyone. I don't want to get her into trouble too. If they knew she pulled that fire alarm..."
"I'm proud of you," I told her. "Not just proud... grateful." Treena let out a soft, sarcastic laugh.
"See how grateful you are when you're in jail. Even if I find proof that links Anderson to Penny's death, who's going to believe me now? I'm tainted."
I kissed her forehead. Her skin was soft, and I detected the faint scent of flowers in her hair. "You're being much too hard on yourself," I said.
She forced herself to look at me, her cheeks coloring. "I feel like I let you down," she said, a fresh wave of tears starting. "At least if I still had my badge, I could keep investigating. Now what the hell am I supposed to do? Flash people my driver's license? I'm sure that'll really get them to start talking."
"At least you're not being cynical or anything," I said. The corners of her lips curved up.
"I don't know how you managed to put up with me for so long," Treena said. "I don't deserve you."
"Let me be the judge of that," I said and planted my lips against hers. She responded just as I'd hoped, pressing herself more firmly against me and running her hand up and down my neck. Her mouth was warm and wet, and I wished this kiss could last forever. When we finally pulled away from each other, her eyes had a dreamy quality. The tears had subsided, at least for now.
"No one has ever done as much for me as you have, Treena. I want you to know that. Whatever you might be thinking or feeling about yourself right now, just know that I appreciate every single thing you've done for me."
Her bottom lip began to quiver. I brushed my tongue over it and pinched her tummy, making her giggle.
"I should have told Anderson and Captain Murphy the truth a long time ago," she said.
"It doesn't matter anymore. Geoffrey says that between your testimony and the new time of death, there's no way the jury can convict me."
"Unless they find a way to keep the new coroner's report out," Treena said.
"How would they do that?"
She shrugged. "I have no idea, but you know how tricky lawyers can be. That prosecutor is hard as nails."
I frowned. I was sure Treena was just being paranoid. Just because lawyers were known to be scumbags didn't mean that the prosecutor would keep out new evidence. The exam team Geoffrey had used was top notch. There was no way the judge wouldn't allow it. Plus, the original coroner had even reversed his statement regarding the time of death, so it wasn't just Geoffrey's team saying it, it was the prosecutor's own team.
"I'm sure it will all work out," I said, though the confidence I'd had a minute ago had dropped a full percentage point. Treena was leaning forward, her hands wrapped around her knees. She looked like she was gonna be sick. "Hey. Don't worry. I'm not going to jail." I hesitated before saying what I wanted to say, afraid it might sound dumb. "I feel like my father is here... watching over me. Between you and him, I know that I'm gonna get out of this."
Treena shot me a sideways glance. She licked her lips.
"Are you alright?" I asked. "You look pale." I reached out and felt her forehead. It was wet. "You're sweating too. Maybe you should go lie down."
She shook her head, sucking in a deep breath. "Jax, there's something I have to tell you. I... I didn't want to say anything now, while all this is going on, but... you need to know."
"Treena, you're scaring me. What is it?"
She wouldn't look at me. Her face was red and pinched, and she was breathing heavily. I was afraid she'd pass out if she continued like this.
"Whatever it is," I told her, taking her hand, "you can tell me."
She let out the breath she'd been holding. "I'm pregnant."
42
Treena
I held my breath, waiting for his reaction. My hands were shaking.
"Jax, say something."
He stared straight ahead at the wall, and I knew I'd fucked up. I should never have told him. Not now. Maybe not ever. "Fuck!" I cried. "I'm sorry, this was such bad timing. I shouldn't have said anything." My vision blurred as tears filled my eyes. It annoyed the hell out of me that I was crying so much today, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself.
I wished now that I'd told Clarissa instead. She could have helped me sort this out. Offered some advice or told me what to do. That was what I needed right now—someone to take charge and tell me what I should do, especially since I couldn't seem to figure it out on my own. No matter what I did, I felt like I was fucking up.
I'd finally told Anderson the truth and gotten myself not just thrown off the case, but suspended. Nothing was going right for me. And now I'd just told Jax I was pregnant, in what was possibly the most ill-timed confession ever. How the hell did I expect him to react to this news? Would it have killed me to wait until after the trial before telling him? A small voice inside my head jumped in.
If you’d waited until after the trial, you might have been starting to show. Who knows how long this trial will last?
That was true. Jax's lawyer had estimated four or five weeks, but it wouldn't be unusual for a trial like this to go even longer.
Jax was in shock. He wasn't moving, and his whole body had gone rigid.
"Pregnant?" he said, still staring at the wall. "How? I thought you were on the pill."
Shit. This was what I'd been afraid of. I'd seen enough tabloid talk shows to know how this worked. Any second now, Jax would turn to me and ask who the father was, never believing for one second it was his. Then he'd accuse me of lying... say that I tricked him. I'd said I was on the pill when really I wasn't so that I could get pregnant and trap him into marrying me. That was how men thought. I'd seen it a thousand times on television. After I left his house, he'd probably call his lawyer and tell him to set up a DNA test.
"I was on the pill. It's like 99.5% effective... I guess I'm the other .5 percent." I tried to smile, but it was useless. My lips wouldn't curve. My cheeks ached just from trying to force my mouth out of the frown
it had settled into. I pushed back the tears, letting the rivers running down my cheeks dry off.
Finally, Jax turned to me. His blue eyes were swimming with emotion. I stared back at them, hoping he wouldn't throw me out of his house. I wasn't sure I could handle that on top of everything else that had happened today.
Slowly, his mouth began to curve up. His eyes, already shiny, began to sparkle. He was grinning at me.
"You're really pregnant?" he asked, excitement bubbling under the surface.
"Yes..." I said, uncertain about his growing enthusiasm.
"Treena," he said, suddenly standing. He pulled me off the couch so that I was standing too and wrapped his arms around my waist. He held me in a bear hug, so tight I could hardly breathe. He was laughing.
"Oh my God, Treena. This is amazing. This is the best news you could have given me!"
"It... it is?" I asked, unable to believe I was really hearing this. How the hell could Jax be so excited? He should be freaking out like I was, not jumping for joy.
"Of course!" he cried, kissing me with more passion than I ever remembered him kissing me with before. I felt my body melting against his. The heat from his lips traveled down to my toes, warming every inch of me. My toes began to tingle. A minute later, my fingertips joined my toes.
"Jax, are you fucking with me or something?" I asked, still not believing his excitement could be real.
"Treena, don't you get it? With all of the crap that's been happening to me... with everything that's been going wrong in my life... I've finally done something right. I found you, and you've given me something..." I was shocked to see him choke up, "...something I never thought I could have. A family. I'm the luckiest damned man alive."
He kissed me so hard I thought my lips might start to bleed. Relief washed over me, and with it came a wave of emotion like nothing I'd ever felt before. I felt safe. I felt... whole. All at once, I wanted Jax.
