My words came out in a mix between a yell and a growl, “Don’t start with me, Elaina! Don’t you fucking dare start with me right now! Why are you always fucking siding with him?!”
“I’m not siding with him, Henry!” I threw my arms in the air and began tearing more of the room apart. “There is no alcohol in here. I dumped it all.” I grabbed a book from the shelf and threw it against the wall. “You need to calm the fuck down.”
I stormed up to her again. “Calm down?! You want me to calm the fuck down?! My fiancée is siding with the dickhead who did all of this shit to me,” I yelled, pointing to my head. “And you want me to calm the fuck down? Are you for real, Elaina?!”
“Henry, you can’t hold a grudge against him because of what happened in the program. You know why he did the things he did. You have to find it in yourself to forgive him. I thought we were past this.”
She sounded bothered and wasn’t being the supportive fiancée I dreamt she was. “Wow. Are you blowing him, too?”
I watched the fury rush through her, then her hand snaked out and gave me what I deserved. She slapped me so hard, my head whipped to one side. When I looked back at her, her eyes were filled with tears. “You are an asshole! I’m done.”
What? Done? Oh, god…no.
Elaina turned around and barely made it to the door before I grabbed her. “What is it with you two?! Neither one of you can keep your goddamn cold hands to yourself!”
“Elaina, I’m sorry. Please. I didn’t mean it.” She was seething and wouldn’t even glance at me. “I deserved it. Please… Don’t leave me. I’m just so frustrated about everything.”
“I’m so sick of this motherfucking drama! I’m sick of it all. I’m sick of you being drunk, you being pissy, you making me pissy, you fighting me, your crazy paranoia… I can’t take it anymore!”
“No, no. Please.” I dropped to my knees in front of her. “I promise I will change. I’m the one who’s fucked up here. I need to fix myself. I won’t drink again, and won’t fight with you anymore.” I grabbed onto her legs in an act of desperation. “I’m scared I’m going to lose you to him. If that happens, I’m ending this fucked up bullshit of a life I live.”
“Henry…” I sobbed in front of her. “Gunther and I are just friends. He has been there for me while dealing with you. He listens when I need to vent. He offers assistance if I need it.”
“I’m such a fucking mess. I can’t take care of you like I could before. I can’t do this life without you.”
Elaina lowered herself to her knees. “Lover, don’t talk like that.”
“You just said you’re done with me.” I was so goddamn difficult to deal with sometimes. Not that she was a peach herself, but me? God, I was the worst.
“No, I said done, as in with the conversation. I shouldn’t have said it like that. I won’t say it again. I can see how you could misinterpret my words.”
Elaina grabbed me, weepy, and held me. Maybe she thought she could hold me until I was the old Henry again. I wanted that. I wanted her to find that Henry again. We both needed it.
She grabbed my tear-soaked face, and I pulled away from her hands. “Henry, I know it looked like… Fuck.”
Seemingly, she realized how her interaction with Gunther looked through my eyes. To me, while trying to deal with my issues, she had been pulling away and falling into Gunther’s arms.
Still on my knees and trembling, I sat in front of her. “Henry, nothing happened between us. I can’t stress this enough. We are just friends. He just talks to me as a friend. Telling me that you need me as much as I need you. He wants me to square things with you. He said he could see how much we love each other.”
Shocked, I looked up at her. “He said that?”
“Yes. I was confused, hurt, and scared. You were drunk and angry all the time. I’m not connecting with you anymore. You were passed out drunk more nights than I want to remember. I feel alone. I was trying to disconnect myself because I was sure I was going to lose you to this or something worse. All of that, plus all of the stupid bullshit we have to deal with every single day…” As she rambled on, I was struck with an idea. She stopped when I stood, walked over to the bed and sat, resting my weary face in my hands. “Henry, I have never stopped loving you. I know I haven’t been there for you in your time of need, but it’s just been so hard for me to deal with. You must see that. I’m shutting down.”
I held my hand up to halt her from saying anything else. Without even looking, I motioned her toward the bed. She sat next to me, but I couldn’t look at her. Not until I knew what was going on. I had to try and win her back, needing her in my corner, fighting with me.
For me.
A calm washed over me as I began to speak, “I can’t do this without you, but I don’t want to do this with you if aren’t sure about us anymore.” I glanced at her for a second. Elaina’s eyes bugged out, obviously thinking I was dumping her. “I’m hurt, you’re hurt… We don’t seem to be gelling anymore. We haven’t in months…mostly because of me,” I muttered. With another glance at her, she looked as if she might throw up the way she had her hands over her mouth. I licked my dry lips and continued, “When we make love, it’s like we’re in two different places. This is killing me,” I mumbled as I turned away, ashamed.
I fumbled with my fingers for a few seconds, picking at the dirt under my nails. When I looked back up at her, managing to tuck all of my emotions away, I said something Elaina would never forget.
“We need to change this before it’s too late for us. Let’s make this our home. Let’s ditch all of this bloody insecurity between us and have a ceremony. Who gives a shit if it isn’t official in the eyes of some nonexistent government? It would be official to us. That’s all that matters. I have a feeling a lot of our issues are because of the insecurity we have about our lives. We can settle in, make a home here, maybe even have a family. And you can finally be Mrs. Daniels…if you would still like to be. I won’t blame you a bit if you don’t, though.”
Elaina’s heart was pounding so hard, I could feel it in the air. She twisted her engagement ring around her finger, chewing her lip. I wondered what a ceremony would look like with nothing but books, gym mats, and guns available for décor.
When she gazed at me, I was feeling more confident, more like myself. I wasn’t exactly sure what made me turn the corner. Maybe it was her telling me what Gunther said and the fact that she had never stopped loving me. Whatever the reason, I was damn sure I had turned it for good.
She would have to place what was left of her hopes and dreams into my hands. I knew it would be difficult for her to do, and it would crush her completely if things went awry, but I was going to do my best to give her what she needed.
“Yes. Let’s do it.”
I smiled and grabbed her face. “I love you so much and I promise that you won’t regret this decision.”
Tears trickled down Elaina’s face. “Goddammit,” she growled as she wiped them away. “I’m sick of this crying bullshit!” We laughed, something we truly hadn’t done together in a while.
I pulled her face to mine and kissed her with burning passion. It felt so good to have her with me and I felt like the Henry she intended to marry before this craziness was thrown into her lap.
I groaned when her hands trailed down my chest. I grabbed at her shirt, trying to find my way underneath it. Just as she was guiding my frantic hands, some knob knocked on the door.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” I grumbled.
Elaina rested her forehead against mine and said, “What can you do? You are very popular, Mr. President.”
I chuckled. “Yeah, that’s me. I’m the diplomatic sort.”
Because my soldier was saluting, she got up to answer the door. Meanwhile, I was going to make it easy for her and get naked. Hopefully, she didn’t mind my not-so-stellar physique.
Elaina opened the door a crack. Gunther. She sighed and hoped the moment wouldn’t turn out bad for her.
/>
“What?” she snapped.
“I was just checking and making sure everything was all right.” She glared at him. If her eyes could throw daggers, he would have been fatally wounded. “So…is everything okay?”
“It’d be much better if you would go back to your room and stay away from ours.” He jacked up an eyebrow. She hissed, “Everything is fine. I will explain it at another point. We just need some time together…alone.” He stood and stared at her. “Do I have to spell it out for you? Are you that clueless?”
“Oh, right. Sorry to interrupt.” She tried to close the door, but he had put his foot in between the door and frame.
“Seriously?” she growled. “What is your motherfucking malfunction?”
Gunther found it difficult not to smirk. “Can I make a little suggestion?” He had a hunch she was close to punching him. One more second of his antics, and she would have.
“Yes, please. Grace me with your epic wisdom.”
“Do a draw, then let him take you while he’s high.”
“You know, sometimes you are like sand in my ass crack. I’m not a rookie at this game.”
“I didn’t say you were. I’m just saying…”
He purposely moved his foot just enough for her to slam the door shut.
Elaina’s fists were clenched in anger and she growled. I was less than pleased Gunther pissed her off, but I had other things on my mind at the moment. She shook her head and headed back to her soon-to-be husband, who happened to be completely naked and rock hard. She smiled and stripped out of her clothes, joining me in bed.
Before she knew it, I had her pinned and was torturing her with my tongue. She worked hard not to cry out, but she surely won an award in the moaning category.
I groaned while suckling on her swollen flesh. The vibration from my mouth made her shudder. She grabbed my head and pushed me into her further. No problem. Her hot flesh felt good against my cool tongue.
Goddamn, she tasted so good. It brought me back to the first time I traced my tongue around her slit. She began to tremble and I stopped, leaving her gasping for air. A sinister chuckle broke from me.
“Hey!”
“What?” I slithered up her body, kissing her as I went. I made it to her chest and focused my attention on her sensitive peaks. My tongue circled and circled, driving her crazy. She panted and scrunched the blankets between her fingers.
She was a vision of beauty.
I worked my way up to Elaina’s neck and nibbled until I reached her lips. My kisses were gentle and loving. I grabbed one of her legs, pulling it up to my shoulder.
“Hold it,” she panted.
“What?”
“I do believe it’s your turn.”
My eyes tracked to her quivering lips and grinned. “I like the sound of that.”
I rolled onto my back and placed my hands behind my head, leaving myself exposed to her every whim. Straddling my abdomen, she leaned over to kiss me. I wrapped my arms around her back, running my nails down to her ass, gripping it and pushing my hands down farther to jack her up on my body. My tongue attacked hers with speed and accuracy.
She nibbled on my jaw and down my neck, running her hands along my sides. As she moved down my body, I groaned. My breath hitched when she flicked her tongue over my nipple.
Elaina nipped at my body all the way down until she reached the “zone”. She ran her hand up and down my soldier, relishing in the silky feel of my skin. I moaned, my breath all over the map. Then she tortured me with her tongue, much like I did to her.
I sat up on my elbows and watched her every move. We locked eyes as she drew me into her mouth, methodically moving her tongue over every bulging vein.
“Oh god, love…,” I moaned, throwing my head back, enjoying the intense feeling and the show she was giving me. When she dragged her teeth up my shaft, I barked, “Jesus fucking Christ!” My muscles twitched. Suddenly, she stopped. I whipped my head forward.
“Hi,” she said as she crawled back up to my face.
“I wish you didn’t stop.”
“Oh, do you now?”
“Yeah. You’re bloody good at that.”
“I thought maybe you would want to finish in me.”
“Hmm… I think that might be a perfect alternative.”
Without pause, I grabbed and flipped Elaina onto her back, then sat on my knees and pushed her legs apart. After running my icy fingertips over her body, causing her to shiver, I settled myself between her glorious, creamy thighs. Kissing her lovingly, I grabbed my soldier and watched as I eased myself into her waiting body. The slow progression was so erotic to watch. I pushed in and pulled out at a steady rhythm.
“Henry…,” she moaned. I loved it when she moaned my name, stroking my ego every time. She twisted her fists in my hair and held on while I pounded my hips into hers.
Our breathing was in sync. Our connection was repairing itself. I was dying…and it felt so good. I locked eyes with her and bit down on my bottom lip, settling further into her. We were so close, our noses buried in each other’s cheeks.
“Fuck. I’m close,” I whispered.
“Oh, god,” she moaned out. I looked at her and took her face in my hands. I had to watch her fall apart so I knew the moment was true and wasn’t imagining it.
I continued my rough rhythm while we became absorbed in one another’s eyes. My chest pumped hard, rising and falling at a pace I hadn’t felt in a while. She arched her back, her eyes rolled, and she exploded, screaming for me.
Those pulsations from her inner depths grabbed my soldier and made my seed pump out. Still, I kept my eyes locked onto hers while I filled her one pulse at a time.
I swear I wasn’t going to stop coming. When I thought the last of my seed pumped out, I realized the feeling was still there, tracking through my body, licking up my spine, tickling every nerve. I had more to give.
After pulling her legs up over my shoulders, I pounded into her relentlessly. She held strong and took me like a fucking champ as the shudder wracked through me again.
“Fuuuuuck… Oh, Laina…” Then I said something in another language—Neanderthal maybe—as I came again. With my breath stolen, she lowered her legs and I collapsed on top of her. She weaved one hand through my hair and laid the other across my back. Meanwhile, I had just about smothered myself between her hair and the pillow under her.
“Two times, eh?” She laughed.
“God…” I lifted my head. “That was…”
“Epic?”
“Yeah, that works.”
After rolling off her, we snuggled up, face-to-face. Broken or not, I had to wonder if she thought I was still attractive, even though my paunch said otherwise. Her eyes filled with tears while we lay, staring at each other.
“Love…don’t cry. This is supposed to be a lovely moment for us.” Maybe she saw the worry in my eyes.
“It is. I’m fine. I’m just so happy to have my Henry back.” I smiled. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’m happy to be back. I love you.”
“I love you, too. I can’t imagine it any other way.”
I kissed her exquisite lips, resulting in her curling further into me. The solace I craved had finally arrived. I was thrilled beyond measure.
Chapter 10
A spring clean-up was happening in the town center. After all, there was a wedding to plan. Quinn, Cora, and Elaina were working on what used to be the town’s only diner. Hard to believe, considering the fast food nation the country had once been. They found a few useable items but, for the most part, the building was in ruins.
“I’m so glad you and Henry have mended your relationship and decided to marry, regardless of our circumstances,” Quinn affirmed as she and Elaina picked through the rubble, finding a few bowls and miscellaneous pieces of silverware that were just in need of a good cleaning.
“Me, too.” Elaina smiled. “Our original wedding was put together by my mother. I pretty much had no say, even though
Henry offered to pay for every last detail. He even fought with my family a few times, trying to get them to understand what I wanted. I would’ve been happy getting married in a tank top and flip-flops on the beach. But she wanted all the glory.”
Quinn laughed. “Yes. We mothers tend to be like that.”
“I hated everything about the wedding, right down to the dress. We just wanted simplicity. Henry is a sucker for clean lines and simple standards. No fancy beaded or lacy designs.” Looking shamefaced about how she behaved during the wedding preparations, Elaina mumbled, “I was so awful to her. I miss her.”
Quinn reached out and rubbed Elaina’s shoulder. “Sweetheart, I would imagine she has long forgiven you and is proud of the woman you’re becoming.”
Elaina cleared her throat and continued working, but she couldn’t keep her mouth shut for more than a minute at a time. “I know we don’t have a lot to pick from here, but I think we can arrange something halfway decent, right? You think? Please tell me we can.”
“I’m sure we can figure something out,” Cora said as she brought over a few incidental items and tossed them into a bucket. “It’ll probably be all handmade and not perfection, though.”
“That’s okay. Henry and I are not perfect, by any means. A perfect wedding would be wrong.”
“I would have to look, but Peter may have packed his book he used to read from when he performed weddings.”
“He was a minister?”
“He was the pastor of our church. I probably should have mentioned that before, especially at Claire’s–” Elaina sucked in a hard breath. Noticing her reaction, Cora turned and pointed down the road. “Anyway, the church is a few miles further west.”
Excitement danced through Elaina. “Do you think it’s still standing?”
“I don’t know. I suppose we can go and find out. There’s another small shopping plaza across from it. I just hope it’s untouched. Maybe there are supplies we need in the stores. I know Peter had set out a clothing donation bin in the hall of the church.”
Considering our circumstances, it was a beautiful sight to watch Josie run around and play with the kids. It made me smile, something I was doing more and more every day. It felt bloody wonderful.
Fractured Hearts (Shattered Lives, Book Three) Page 11
